summary: you have a shitty boyfriend, who treats you like a shit, but there's Matt who's going to fix everything, isn't it?
His mouth was still on yours when your fingers slipped into his hair, tugging hard enough to make him groan into the kiss. You were already grinding against him, hips rocking like you didnât care that the gearshift was digging into your knee or that the rain outside had turned into a full downpour, hammering against the windshield in rhythm with your pulse.
You didnât care about anything right nowâexcept Matt.
âI need you,â you gasped against his lips, voice hoarse, wild, like your need was clawing its way out of you. âRight now. I donât care. I fucking need you, Matt.â
He pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes, to check if you were sure. Always that hesitation, always that little moment of restraint like he was holding himself back from tearing into you the way you were silently begging him to.
Your fingers gripped the collar of his hoodieâstill half on him, half pushed down his armsâand your breath hitched as you leaned in, forehead pressed against his. âI donât want to think,â you whispered. âI donât want to feel anything but you. Please, Matt.â
âFuck,â he muttered, the word guttural, strained. He wrapped both arms around your back, hauling you against him like he couldnât stand the space between your bodies for another second. âYou donât get it, do you? You show up like this, begging me to forget the asshole who keeps hurting you, and you act like I can fucking separate thisâlike this is just sex. But itâs not, sweetheart.â
You kissed him again before he could go onâbecause right now, you didnât want to hear that he cared. Didnât want to hear about how he looked at you like you were the whole damn world. You wanted to get lost in the way he touched you. The way he made you feel something that wasnât pain or disappointment or betrayal.
Your hips ground against the hard bulge straining against his jeans, and he hissed, grabbing your ass with both hands.
âYou donât play fair,â he growled.
You reached down, palming him through his jeans.
His eyes darkened as he leaned back against the seat, dragging you with him so your chest pressed tight to his. âTake it off,â he muttered, nodding toward your bra.
You didnât hesitate. Reaching behind you, you unclasped it and let the straps fall from your shoulders, baring yourself to him. Mattâs gaze dropped to your chest, jaw clenching so tight you thought it might snap.
âFuck,â he breathed, voice raw. âYouâre gonna fucking kill me.â
He didnât waste a second before ducking his head, mouth hot and hungry as he wrapped his lips around your nipple, sucking hard while his hand played with the other. You moaned loudly, not giving a damn who might hear you out here in the pouring rain. Your back arched instinctively, grinding harder against him, desperate for more contact, more frictionâmore him.
âYouâre shaking,â he mumbled against your skin. âYou that worked up already?â
âI canât think straight,â you gasped, your voice half a sob. âIâve been carrying all this fucking tension, and I canâtâMatt, pleaseââ
He cut you off by grabbing you by the back of the neck and yanking you down into another messy, desperate kiss. His tongue slid against yours like he was trying to taste every fucking part of your pain, like he wanted to steal it from you and take it all into himself.
Your hand fumbled between your bodies, unzipping his jeans with practiced urgency. You reached inside, pulling him freeâand the size of him still made you inhale sharply, no matter how many times youâd been here before.
He groaned deep in his chest when your hand wrapped around him, when you stroked him once, twice, slow and deliberate.
âI want you,â you said, voice shaking, your thighs trembling from the need.
His hand slid between your legs, under the band of your jeans and your panties, and when his fingers touched you, bare and drenched, he let out a low, guttural moan. âJesus fucking Christ.â
He pushed your jeans and panties down just far enough to free you, then grabbed himself, lining up with your entrance. You braced yourself against his shoulders, hips trembling.
âLook at me,â he ordered, voice low and firm.
And as you stared into his eyes, you sank down on him slowly, inch by inch, until he was buried deep inside you. Your breath hitched hardâevery muscle in your body locking up for a moment as the stretch and fullness overwhelmed you.
Matt groaned through gritted teeth, his head falling back against the headrest. âFuuuuuck, baby. You feel unreal. Every goddamn time.â
You didnât speak. You couldnât. You just started to move.
Slowly at first, hips rolling in a lazy, aching rhythm that made both of you shiver. Every grind sent sparks up your spine, each motion driving the rest of the world further into the background. You braced your hands on his chest, fingers digging into him like you needed to anchor yourself. He let you take the lead, for nowâlet you ride out your own heartbreak with desperate, hungry thrusts.
âI canât stop thinking about you,â you whispered, tears welling again in your eyes. âEven when Iâm with him. I hate it. I hate how much I want you.â
Matt cupped your face in both hands and dragged your mouth back to his. âThen fucking want me,â he growled. âIâm right fucking here.â
You moaned as he started thrusting up into you, hard and fast now, taking control. One arm wrapped tight around your lower back, the other gripping your ass, guiding your rhythm as your bodies crashed together over and over. The car creaked with every movement, the fog on the windows now fully opaque.
âFaster,â you gasped. âDonât stop. Please, Matt, donât stopââ
He didnât. His thrusts got sharper, deeper, one hand sliding between your bodies again to rub fast circles over your clit while he fucked up into you like he was trying to destroy every memory of the man who made you cry.
âYouâre mine right now,â he growled into your ear. âYou understand me? His name doesnât exist in here. Itâs just you and me, and Iâm not stopping until you fucking forget him.â
You cried out, body locking up, orgasm ripping through you so hard your vision went white around the edges. You collapsed into him, trembling, breathless, sobbing quietly against his neck from the sheer relief of it. Of finally feeling something that wasnât sadness.
Matt didnât stop. He kept moving, chasing his own release, his grip on you desperate now. You whispered his name over and over like a prayer, like a lifeline, and when he came, it was with a ragged groan, arms wrapped so tight around you that it felt like heâd never let go.
The car was silent except for your ragged breaths and the rain outside.
You stayed in his lap, curled against his chest, your heart still racing, his hand gently stroking your back.
He held you like that for a long time, neither of you speaking, your skin sticking to his from the heat.
And though he didn't say it, not out loud, it burned in his chest like a brand.
I love you. I fucking love you. And I'm so goddamn tired of being your secret.
