Tonight feels a little softer than usual.
Iām watching Because This Is My First Life, and ang ganda niya in a way na hindi loud, pero tumatama. Sobrang realistic, ang daming layers, and ang daming mapupulot without it trying too hard. Iāve always believed in online love stories, in connections that start unexpectedly. Pero iba pa din talaga yung organic encounter. Yung hindi mo hinahanap, hindi mo pine-plan, pero bigla nalang nandyan, and it grows into something real.
And habang nanonood ako, ang dami kong realizations. Every time may scene na relatable, hindi ko maiwasan i-compare sa amin ni Yuri.
Heās asleep right now. Nakatulog siya sa lap ko.
Minsan hindi ko pa din ma-process fully na meron na akong ka-live in. Na may lalaking kasama ako araw-araw. Yung tipong katabi ko matulog, kasama ko gumising, kasama ko sa lahat ng maliliit na bagay. And the thought na this could be the person Iāll spend my whole life with⦠ang bigat pero ang gaan at the same time.
Etong lalaking to, sobrang tangkad, nakahiga ngayon sa lap ko na parang ang simple lang ng lahat. Beautiful, to the point na minsan napapatingin pa din ako. Napaka tigas ng ulo, mainitin ang ulo, at minsan talaga sakit sa ulo ko. Hindi siya madali mahalin araw-araw.
Pero sobrang lambing kapag naglalambing. Yung softness niya, hindi niya pinapakita sa lahat. Pero sakin, binibigay niya. And that means everything.
And I love him. I really, really do.
Heās not perfect. Not even close. But I donāt think Iām looking for perfect anymore. Kasi kahit ganito siya, kahit ganito kami, it feels real. It feels ours.
Heās mine. And I choose him.
Pinipili ko siyang samahan sa lahat ng dadaanan pa namin. Mapa good days, bad days, yung mga araw na hindi cinematic, yung mga araw na tahimik lang. Yung mga araw na kami lang.
Tonight, itās just this. Him asleep on my lap, the show playing softly in the background, and this quiet kind of love I didnāt even realize I was already living in.
And for once, Iām not questioning it.
Iām just here⦠feeling it.
Tonight, itās just this moment. Him, asleep on my lap. The show playing in the background. And me, realizing how real this kind of love actually is.
And how grateful I am that I get to live it.