Texts from the Evillious Region

Inspired by other "texts from" blogs and "texts from last night". May contain crack, nsfw content and/or ooc behavior. We also accept submissions!

[textsfromevillious]

Drug of gold more like Carlos why you leave conchita again ;~;

Technically, he meant for them to be together. Demons just ruin everything, don’t they?

[textsfromevillious]

(202): I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic

[textsfromevillious]

(+44): Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet

[textsfromevillious]

(919): I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.

[textsfromevillious]

(920): Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?

[textsfromevillious]

(414): This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.

[textsfromevillious]

(709): I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.

[textsfromevillious]

(301): do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?

[textsfromevillious]

(609): my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.

[textsfromevillious]

(423): If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom

[textsfromevillious]

(860): Let's have sex in an apple orchard

[textsfromevillious]

(347): I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?

Submitted by itty-bitty-agent-maine

[textsfromevillious]

(272): Mom! I saw my friend eat a plant!

(1-272):  Lemy what have I told you about spying on girls?

(272):  BUT IT WAS A PLASTIC PLANT

Submitted by anonymous.

[textsfromevillious]

(722): You should only sleep with him if listening to a grown man cry for hours on end about his sister is your idea of pillow talk.

Submitted by anonymous.

[textsfromevillious]

How do I submit a post? (=_=)

Just send an ask, and I'll do the rest.

[textsfromevillious]

(419): had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.

[textsfromevillious]

(417): As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.