tha::existentialist

To be an existentialist is to have a philosophy that emphasizes the uniqueness and isolation of the individual experience in a hostile or indifferent universe, regards human existence as unexplainable, and stresses freedom of choice and responsibility for the consequences of one's acts.

[thaexistentialist]

If you wanna know what I'm drinking check out @TheLiquidArchitect on Insta.

[thaexistentialist]

MOVING ON...FINALLY...

so...it's finally time. i held on longer than i should have. many years ago, i thought you were my forever. it was my resolve. never thinking there would be another...i kept many at bay. they didn't matter. i took none seriously. there was a space that was reserved for you in hopes of our reunion. i opened up...shot my shot...and *poof* reciprocation was non existent. i would lying if i said i wasn't confused. i don't generally misread queues. there were talks of travel and flirting. you even had me take a test to figure out my kinks. i'm not pissed, not even a little bit. you set me free. your truth and my acceptance of it has created a shift to allow a new love to enter. love that is rooted in honesty, open communication, respect, consideration, and absent of fear. love that thrives in the face of giving a voice to feelings. love that is direct. love that wants to grow. love that wants to build. love that is clear in it's intentions. love that has clear boundaries. it is tough now to think about a love that doesn't come from you...in the end this new love has to be better...more complementary...this new love will liberate me from the idea that no one could love or know me better than you. i held on way too long...perhaps if i had let go, i would have seen that your hand was no longer available for me to hold. i'm moving on...finally.

[thaexistentialist]

IYKYK...

[thaexistentialist]

I feel like this picture looks...in ALL of it's complexity.

[thaexistentialist]

It's hard sometimes, but I have to be there for me. I haven't had anyone make me smile in a long time, that forced me to depend on me. It also shined a light on my lack of self care/self love. This year has been a one for the books and I have been teaching myself to be kinder and more gentle with myself. One of the harder things I am taking longer to learn is...being proud of myself. From what people tell me, I have reasons to be proud...of ME. Perhaps when I find my pride...my smile will be there also.

[thaexistentialist]

Maaaaaan...

i haven’t let my thoughts freely flow in a very long time. 

it’s almost like i forgot how.

i know feelings or lack thereof have stopped me from thinking...from dreaming...from loving.

life has done a number on me.

love has confused. 

situations have hurt me. 

people...hmmm...people i don’t like talking or thinking about them. 

i am just trying to be...

be better...

be the me i need to be for me...

be available for the people that need me...

be ready for whatever comes my way...

be available...

be my loyal supporter...

be my own coach...

be my own student...

be my faithful teacher...

be my healer...

be my lover.

most importantly...

i want to be...ALIVE and i have to remind myself daily. 

[thaexistentialist]

...and on and on and on and on

[thaexistentialist]

.::.In a zone right now…me and my music.::.

[thaexistentialist]

...and more Burt Bacharach!

[thaexistentialist]

I *heart* Billy Preston

[thaexistentialist]

I picked this up IMMEDIATELY. Didn't think twice.

[thaexistentialist]

This is a great album! I had no idea what I was missing.

[thaexistentialist]

Picked this up yesterday.

[thaexistentialist]

The beginning of my vinyl collection.

[thaexistentialist]

Good times with this one last week...

[thaexistentialist]

Hell yeah!

[thaexistentialist]