Lizard

Either out on a hike or stealing shopping carts, no in-between. She/her

[thatonelizardgirl]

amazing tip to keep your girlfriend entertained is let her scroll through pictures of horses

it works shockingly well

[thatonelizardgirl]

im at the Vancouver aquarium and the fucking otter lady just said 67 im gonna lose it

[thatonelizardgirl]

bitches love me for my twink build and my basketball hoop

[thatonelizardgirl]

white people when the function got vegetable salad

[thatonelizardgirl]

who up llamaing they llama

[thatonelizardgirl]

[havrosn]

Congratulations!!! You led a good life and you shall be reincarnated as The Worlds Horniest Cicada!!!

[thatonelizardgirl]

in the streets? they jumping me

in the bed? she humping me

im on fact backgammon dot uk right now hit my line

[thatonelizardgirl]

they should let customers pay to choose the music at retail stores because not only would it make my shift so much more interesting but also it'd be fun to hear a song and try and hunt down who played it

[thatonelizardgirl]

my girl making me play timber on just dance 2014 for the Nintendo wii 10 times a day please help

[havrosn]

getting piss drunk before jury duty and trying to convince the judge that they're guilty

[thatonelizardgirl]

me if i was a gps giving directions: Hey in 600 meters take a right and then maybe show me what them feet can do :P

[thatonelizardgirl]

You ever just like, wo

[thatonelizardgirl]

If I could go back to the childhood whimsy I had back when I believed Santa was real that would be amazing. Cause now every year my mom makes a big deal of saying that he isn't real and also gives us gifts addressed from Satan (which I don't mind the first thing too much, the second one is kinda not cool) and it just makes me sad.

[thatonelizardgirl]

I love seeing power outlets in uncharacteristic places. We need to have more of that I reckon.

[thatonelizardgirl]

Me like 3 months ago: Ah yes I love not having a caffeine addiction like my mom or dad.

Me now, having like 2-3 monsters a day: augughfqu fchf j fwjfwgu I need me silly juicemrwjfwcuwcu

[thatonelizardgirl]

if your first time rooming in college doesn't result in you and your roommates having some weird effigy you just put stuff on top of then you haven't gotten the college experience