That's Baby Stuff

A blog of oversharing about being a new mom.

[thatsbabystuff]

Post Partum...Exercise?

In 2 days my son will be 6 months old.  Crazy, right?  Well, it is to me.  As my husband often says, "He's really a person!"  Yup.  Sounds funny, but I get what he means.  Axel is expressing his personality and showing us his abilities more and more every day.  And I'm starting to accept that he won't always be a baby, and getting excited for the future when he'll run and play and talk in 2 languages, hopefully.  

And the older my son gets, the more I'm reminded of how much time has passed since I gave birth.  My recovery has been slow.  Up until New Year's I has having some serious GI issues along with just regular healing and discomfort in my abdomen.  Fortunately, 2015 has been the year of feeling like a normal human again, so far.  And now that it's almost March, I think it's time I got a little more physically active again.  

Now, I have a somewhat unique situation in that my pregnancy actually caused me to LOSE weight...about 15 pounds to be exact.  And the weight has stayed off due to my previously mentioned GI issues plus exclusively breast feeding my son, which burns about 300 calories a day.  I'm actually at the exact same weight I was several years ago when I seriously turned my health around, dieted and exercised like a fiend, and lost 30 pounds in time for my brother's wedding. Only this time, I did basically no work for it.   It's basically like a "flu diet".  Fun to get skinny as a side effect of being sick, I guess, but not at all a healthy way to lose weight.  So, in spite of my weight loss, I'm feel very different than the last time I was at this weight.  I feel more like a weakling recovering from illness than a fit and healthy person.

A couple months ago my Wii stopped working, but we sent it off to a fix it guy, and he brought it back last night, good as new!  This morning I put fresh batteries in my controllers and balance board, and got back on the Wii Fit horse, which is how I lost my weight the first time.  But this time, my focus isn't to lose.  My focus is to build muscle and become a healthy and fit person, a good example for my son.  

[thatsbabystuff]

Why Can't We Talk About the Good Things?

I've been having thoughts lately.  Lots of thoughts.  And I'm not sure exactly where or how is the appropriate place to share them.  But they continue to bubble up and so I think I really do need to share them somewhere.  And, hey, I have a blog!  So here we go.

Pregnancy and motherhood isn't something I spent a lot of time thinking about before it happened.  With most things in life, I tend to live in the moment, and whatever will be will be.  However, I don't think a girl can go through life surrounded by so many women constantly having babies and not form some expectations on the subject. Based on everything I've seen and heard, I've always assumed it would be hard.  Really hard.  

With pregnancy, I assumed I'd be ill all the time, be totally uncomfortable in my own skin, blow up like a balloon, and have terrible sagging skin, stretch marks, and an extra 20 pounds (at least) to show for it.  None of this really happened.  I didn't get too ill, my belly was smaller than average, and I didn't gain weight anywhere else.  So, I'm thinking, ok.  I had the easy pregnancy, but the birth is going to be rough.

Well, I never even went into labor.  I was scheduled to be induced, but when we arrived at the hospital that day, I was told the baby's heart rate was too low, that he was in distress, and the process of labor would be too difficult and dangerous for him.  I didn't have a long, difficult labor.  I was put straight into a gown, and into an OR, and the baby delivered via c-section before I even had time to wrap my head around what was happening.  Recovery was not fun, but the worst of it didn't last too long, and I am so grateful I had my mom to help during that time.

Ok, so I lucked out on pregnancy and birth.  But the actual baby.  That's got to be the hard part, right?  No sleep, pooping, vomiting, fussing over who knows what.  All that is just inevitable, right?  WRONG!  Axel has been a great sleeper from the very beginning!  He is already sleeping 6-7 hours straight a night.  He only fusses when he's hungry.  He very very rarely spits up at all.  We use his many burp cloths more like dinner napkins.  

So what is going on here?  Do I really have the easiest baby to ever exist?  I doubt it.  Here's what I think the problem is: with all the hard times some women go through with their babies, I feel bad ever saying anything positive about mine.  I don't want to come off like I'm bragging.  I don't want to make someone who is truly having a hard time with things feel worse than they already do.  So, I don't announce how easy my son is to take care of.  But maybe there's a problem with that.

I recently discovered a podcast called The Longest Shortest Time (thanks for recommending, Aunt Terri!).  I've been skimming through the episodes, and I found and listened to one that was intended to be the beginning of a "What to Expect When You're Expecting" series.  The host of the podcast interviewed a friend who was in the last month of her pregnancy.  She talked to her about her expectations and fears for birth and babyhood.  

I finished the episode and was anxious to hear the next installment, when we were to check in and see if her expectations were accurate.  I skimmed through the episodes and couldn't find the next one anywhere.  I finally returned to the page of the episode, and found this note at the bottom: "We wound up stopping this series with this episode," and there was a link to a further explanation of why the series stopped: 

I thoroughly enjoyed talking to Joanne. Thing is, even with all of Joanne’s self described neuroses, everything was going pretty smoothly. She’d had a c-section—something she wasn’t too psyched about—but she wasn’t hung up on it, either. Gus was breastfeeding well; he was sleeping as well as could be expected, as was Joanne; Gus’s dad could be around a lot to help out. Joanne was even pleased with how quickly she was losing her baby weight!

This perfectly describes my own birth and baby story!  But apparently, the podcast was looking for a little more drama.  So, we don't get to explore what it's like for a woman to have an easy baby.  They no doubt wanted to hear from some woman who had a harrowing birth experience, who hadn't slept in 2 weeks, who's baby had reflux, and who couldn't latch to breastfeed.  Why!?  Why must we scare all the childless people and expectant parents into thinking this is the norm?  It's not! 

So, I'm still not sure if I should start bragging about my easy baby.  But I do think there might be a problem here.  I wish we could talk about the positives, the good stories.  So, I'm doing it here on my slightly more protected blog.  Maybe I can show one or two people that having a baby doesn't have to be a life ending, harrowing experience.  

[thatsbabystuff]

Success!

Axel on his little potty

We've been close to making this goal a couple times, but today I can report officially that, at just shy of 10 weeks old, Axel has not pooped in his diaper for a full 24 hours!  Every single one went in the potty.  And the girl who washes out his cloth diapers is a happy camper (that's me).  

It's been a process getting to this point.  It has taken time for me to not only read his signals, but also just be aware of his usual schedule.  But I've got things pretty well figured out at this point.  I wish I could tell you a specific formula for this, but it's really just a lot of trial and error and intuition.  

But I don't deserve all the credit.  This baby is getting better and better at knowing what that little potty is for.  I used to feel like any time I caught anything in the potty, it was all due to the luck of my timing.  But now, when I put him on it, he actually makes an effort to go.  He's getting quicker and quicker at going once he's sitting on the potty.  Also, I've actually witnessed him trying and not really being able to go.  Both those things tell me he's successfully made the association that sitting on the potty means poop.  And that association came from just pure determination and sticking with it, to be honest.  But he got it!  

[thatsbabystuff]

A PSA Advocating Cloth Diapers

Axel in a cloth diaper.

Caveat: I do not think that if you use disposable diapers, you are bad person, bad parent, etc.  I get that 90 percent of Americans (and Mexicans) use them.  Of course, I think it'd be a good idea to consider it, but seriously guys, no judgement.

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So, even though we are doing elimination communication, a method of helping a infant use the toilet, we are still using diapers full time.  We do pretty well with getting him to use the potty at least a couple times a day, but we really need the diaper back up for now.

So, we made the decision before Axel was born to use cloth diapers.  For me, it was mostly an economic choice...we don't spend money on disposable diapers.  It's also an environmental choice.  We are not filling a landfill with toxic waste.  And convenience-wise, we don't have a full garbage pail as often.  Most everyone is aware of these arguments in favor of cloth diapers.  But you might not be aware of the one I'm about to make.

Disposable diapers are full of chemicals and fragrances that can cause diaper rash.  I had heard this just a few weeks ago, after we were already on board with cloth, and wasn't totally convinced of the claims.  But I thought, well, if it's true, that's one more thing I don't have to worry about.  

Two days ago, I was very sick.  Not just like, oh I feel lousy.  I literally passed out (woke up on the floor surrounded by faces peering down at me, just like in the movies), ran a fever the entire day, and could not function as a human being.  This all happened away from home at my in-laws, and I had only brought one cloth diaper change along.  The rest were wet and hanging out to line dry at home.  Well, it rained that day and the diapers at home never dried, and we fell behind on the whole process.  So, that's the long story of why he's been wearing disposable diapers for the better part of 3 days now, and we are STILL waiting for the rest of his cloth diapers to dry.  

This morning after his bath, I went to put a diaper on him and noticed red in his diaper area and upper legs.  He has his first beginnings of diaper rash.  What's the only thing that's changed?  He's wearing disposable diapers.

So, believe what you will from scientific claims and internet articles.  I happen to know from first hand experience: disposable diapers cause diaper rash!  I can't wait until we can get him back in his nice, clean, chemical-free cloth diapers!

Just one more reason to consider cloth, folks.  The benefits outweigh any "inconvenience" in my opinion.  I'd say it's pretty inconvenient to have a baby wailing in pain with a red bum too.  I'll take this alternative.

[thatsbabystuff]

Morning Grunts

So, this elimination communication thing is an ongoing process, it seems.  I think I've got something figured out, and then it changes on me.  I already mentioned that Axel had been pooping while nursing, but stopped doing that.  Since then, I've been trying to figure out the pattern for when he's pooping so I can catch those.  As you can imagine, since we are doing cloth diapers, my motivation to get him to poop in the potty is high.

So, I had been trying him on the potty immediately after nursing, just as a place to start.  I was getting him to pee then, but not poop.  So, it was only a semi-successful endeavor.

The good news about the pooping is, it is often audible when he goes. Therefore, even if I didn't catch it, I can pay attention and try to figure out the pattern or signals to catch for next time.  I had been kind of not doing that though, until Eduardo suggested keeping careful track and logging each time he goes.  And of course, I realized that's what I should have been doing.  

So one day I noticed that he was pooping maybe an hour or so after nursing.  Not every time he nursed (because he does that every 2 hours...that would be a lot of poop), but if he was going to do it, that's when it happened.  I also realized that he was usually fussy right before he pooped.  So I told myself I'd pay attention and when he got fussy after nursing, but it wasn't time to eat again yet, I'd try him on the potty.  So, I did and it worked!  Yay!  I've continued trying this, and of course I don't always catch it.  Yesterday there were 2 times that I realized he probably had to go, stood up to take him, and he pooped before I could even pick him up.  So, I was close, but not quite quick enough!  Still, I felt good that at least I knew it was time.  On the right track.  Little victories.

So, that brings me to the morning.  Now, Eduardo and I are late sleepers since we are night people.  And we had been able to maintain that, even with a newborn.  But the past week or so, Axel would wake up to nurse around maybe 6am, then go back to sleep, but then an hour later start fussing and groaning and making the most awfully loud sounds that would not allow me to go back to sleep again.  In my half-awake brain, all I wanted was sleep, so I tried to force him quiet by swinging his hammock (he sleeps in a hammock, not a crib), bouncing him in his bouncy chair, or just setting him beside me in bed (relax, I've read up on safe co-sleeping). But none of this worked.  And I ended up never fully getting back to sleep and finally eventually giving up.  

But of course, what he's doing with all that loud moaning and grunting is trying to poop.  And he does eventually.  And then I say to Eduardo, "He's been trying to poop all morning.  That's why we couldn't sleep."  

Last night, I had a revelation about this.  I'm fighting against what he wants to do because I want to sleep, and I've told myself it's not that important to take him to the potty over night.  So I keep him in this reclined position against his will, trying to make him sleep, and all he wants to do is sit up so he can poop.  If I would just let him do what he wants, maybe we could ALL get a little more sleep in the morning.

So, I remembered this last night and told myself when he started grunting in the morning, I'd put him on the potty.

Well, my half-asleep brain did forget my good intentions for a little while, as I laid in bed and reached out with one hand to swing his hammock to rock him back to sleep.  But as his grunting and moaning got louder, I remembered my plan.  I got up, picked up my poor moaning child, and put him on his little potty.  He immediately relaxed and successfully peed and pooped in the potty.  

Duh, Christy.  Pay attention to what your child wants!  This is what I'm telling myself.  But even though it took me a while, I'm glad I figured this out.

[thatsbabystuff]

Elimination Communication...Yeah, That's Right

Long before I was even considering becoming pregnant, I had heard about Elimination Communication.  This is the concept of "potty training" babies from a very young age.  So, once I actually got pregnant, I bought a book called The Diaper Free Baby, and set about learning how to get my infant to pee in a potty.  The basic idea is not to teach a baby to use a potty.  It's to learn his "signals" of when he needs to go, and then respond by setting him on a potty instead of letting him go in a diaper.  So, far, learning the signals has been more difficult than I thought.  But we are making progress.  Let me give you a little review of the last 6 weeks on this subject:

So, I had planned to start EC as soon as possible.  Well, that turned out to be a little later than I thought.  Learning about my son and how to take care of him was a big undertaking, plus my body was recovering from producing a human, which is no small feat, and I just wasn't ready to take on an extra task in the first couple weeks.

Then there was the hesitation of "taking the plunge."  When was the right time to try this?  How should I even begin?

Finally, when he was about two weeks old, I decided I wanted to go for it. The main thing I had learned about my son's elimination habits?  He pooped while nursing.  Ok, it wasn't exactly what I had envisioned, but it was a place to start.  So, I stripped off his diaper, set his little potty on my lap, set him on the potty, and latched him on to nurse.  And just like that, he pooped in the potty.  I'd had my first "catch."

I continued with this method about the half the time I nursed, but slowly his habits began to change. He no longer poops while nursing.  So, I was a little lost.  I tried setting him on the potty when I heard him straining to go, but usually that just made him more angry and upset, so not much success there.  I wasn't sure what to do if the potty just made him fussy and uncomfortable.  But I knew I needed to keep at it.

About a week ago, I was able to start using his Charlie Banana cloth diapers that I purchased with shower gift cards and money before he was born.  He was only about 6 and a half pounds at birth, and did quite fit into his "one size" cloth diapers yet.  But I finally decided to try one on him, and realized that, while a little bulky, they would work.  It sounds silly, but I get so much satisfaction every time I wash a diaper, knowing that I'm not throwing out a disposable...and my money along with it.  The satisfaction basically over takes any ill feelings I might have about washing out poop.  But also, the cloth diapers are helping me feel more capable of getting this EC going...like I'm on the right track.

In the last couple days, we've made huge strides with Elimination Communication.  Even though I'm still not sure of all his "signals," I've started just going for it more.  I've realized that after nursing is a great time to try him on the potty.  He's awake, he's content, and he usually has to go.  There has still been some trial and error with how to hold him on his little potty so he feels comfortable.  I've figured out that I can set the potty sideways on my lap, much the same way I did when I was nursing, and then I cradle him in my arms with his bare bum over it.  Sometimes I give him his pacifier, since I know the sucking has helped him go.  Since I've started with this routine, we have had some amazingly successful potty days. So far today, he has peed in his potty three times!  Even though he's only 6 weeks old, I think he might actually be learning that the potty is a more comfortable place for him to go than in his diaper, and he knows I'll give him a chance to go.  

I have to admit, at first I didn't see much of a pay off getting him to pee or poop in his potty.  Even if I could catch one or two, it didn't seem to reduce the number of diapers we used by that much.  But I remembered that my immediate convenience wasn't totally what this process was about.  I needed to stick with it.  Eventually, it will pay off.  But the last couple days, it does seem to be helping.  We go a little longer between diaper changes.  And that's helping me keep up with the washing.  We hand wash and line dry all of our laundry.  The hand washing isn't actually that big of a deal.  But with line drying, I have to make sure I wash all his diapers immediately or they won't have time to dry before I need another one.  But with catching more pees and poops the last couple days, I've been able to relax slightly with the washing.  And I'll take what I can get.

[thatsbabystuff]

So, I had a baby...

I should have started this a while ago, but frankly, there were other things on my mind.  Namely, all the things I'm going to write about in this blog.  I've been living a pretty free and easy lifestyle for all of my 20s.  While many of my friends "back home" were getting married, having babies, becoming homeowners, holding down sensible jobs, I was living out my youth in New York City.  It's not that I didn't want the things my friends had.  I just didn't want them at age 25.  Well, now I'm 32, and I've "settled down", so to speak.  Mainly, I moved to Mexico to be with my husband, got pregnant immediately, and 9 months later, look at that, it's a baby.  

Now, I had vowed that I would not over share about my child on Facebook.  I mean, sure, I'll post a photo or share a thought.  There's no denying, this little guy is the center of my life.  But here is where I'll spill some more of the intimate details not quite fit for Facebook consumption.  And if you're into TMI, you can read it.