I promise to be different @the--zubatman - Tumblr Blog

Happy Star Wars Day! I’ve decided to make my Skywalker comic into one easily rebloggable post.

Happy May the Fourth! I’m absolutely blown away by how many people had this queued for today!

I get that sex and drugs are fun but even im like. at least have a 3rd thing. at least one more hobby. you can have a 3rd hobby. this isnt a purity thing this is a some of u are fucking boring thing.

kittygirltitty

rock & roll

alexiaroselikethewine

girl i just walked into that one like a coyote with a painted tunnel

lemonsweet

Very fascinated by this Walmart shirt. Could they not use the actual phrase or something? It's not even specifying "when you're mean to me" it's just when you're mean in general this particular bunny gets hurt. She carries all suffering. This bunny experiences all evil in the world.

sandpontiff

#a song of ice and fire

nikolaj-costerwaldau

A KNIGHT OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS

1.01, The Hedge Knight

escuerzoresucitado

asskylosaurus

You know I turned on the sound just to help me understand what was going on and I guess it was exactly what it looked like.

geeoharee

Ooh! Spot the industrial safety device! The worker has to press a 'stab the cheese' button with both hands. This is because if they're doing that, neither of their hands can be within the cheese stabbing zone.

thetablestspoon

This cheese is being stabbed safely

xargon

me: yeah so a few years ago someone invented infinite scrolling and really it was a terrible idea

the elf I just hooked up with, taking the lavender and honeysuckle lollipop from their mouth: An infinite scroll... most elfmaidens learn to enchant a scroll to never end before they're a mere 300 years old. It saves on paper.

me: oh see that's just writing, with social media it's really bad, it just leads to people doomscrolling all day

the elf I just hooked up with, spluttering and panicked: The Doomscroll! Be silent human, thou shoulds't not speak the name of that fell parchment

me: oh so you get it

springfieldstills

prokopetz

It kind of feels unfair that the Legend of Zelda franchise exists because it takes so many fun hypotheticals off the table. "Which video game series would be the worst if you had to invent a timeline where all games occur in chronological release order" no bet, it's Zelda. It's always fucking Zelda.

poondragoon

That's why I love Zelda.

I've never seen another series be so openly contemptuous of canon or continuity, like it was purpose-built to screw with fastidious nerds who are allergic to non-Watsonian reasoning.

Forget the timeline, just look at the geography! Is Kakariko village a Western European hamlet bordering a forest? An Edo-period thatch-roof village high in the mountains? A tin shack ghost town in a desert slot canyon? Is Lake Hylia to the south, southwest, or southeast of Hyrule Castle? How do entire provinces just materialize, disappear, and jump across the country between installments? How many continents does Hyrule span across? The obvious Doylist explanation is that Hyrule has vastly different geographies depending on what best serves the flow and pacing of the game. The Watsonian explanation is that there is no Watsonian explanation.

It is, as an intellectual property, disinterested in maintaining continuity to a degree that is nothing short of impressive in today's media landscape. What events from prior games are canon? The minimum necessary to contextualize the immediate plot of the game you're currently playing, so somewhere between none of them and all of them simultaneously. What Zelda game is [Insert Zelda Title] a sequel/prequel to? Throw a fucking dart.

The fact that its nominal genre has it bumping shoulders with Tolkien is just icing on the cake.