The Anonymous Banana

Wow, I've been on this website for 15 years. Architect!! Artist. She/her. Coffee and tea person. Cat lover. DnD player. Feel free to drop me a line!

[depsidase]

[danadivine]

People are portals to different realities, choose wisely.

[2percentsugar]

does anyone else remember being a hapless american child looking at the prices of books on the inside flap and wondering. do we just hate canadians? this book is $8 here and $13 there, that feels..... mean somehow

[scrollofs0rrow]

i love this fucking picture

[human-pet-they]

texting everyone in my friends list “see what happens when you disobey me?” when the eclipse starts

[homoerotisch]

louis xvi just before being beheaded saying "notre ancien régime est en train de s'effondrer"

[dimetrodone]

The Great Gatsby

[bigsquinky]

[dykepuffs]

Was thinking today about the point of bringing a book to something, when I will usually always have something to do either that requires no props or just on my phone to kill time with, and realised that it's a really specific cultural signal of "I am prepared to spend some time alone here." (Similarly filled by "I have my knitting", "I have my sketchbook", etc etc)

Going to hospital to visit someone where you aren't the primary visitor? "I can just sit in a corridor whilst you and your son talk in private... I brought a book!"

Going to have to wait with someone while they do an important task? "Don't worry about it, just get on with the Task, I'll have a book in my bag so I'll be happy as a pig in shit."

Arrived somewhere before your companions so unavoidably need to sit at a station? "I didn't even realise you were late, I was just in my book." Etc.

Even though logically, they will know that I could probably entertain myself for that time by talking to a friend on messenger, or staring out the window, or catching up on work emails, having a book in my hand is the reassurance of "I didn't expect you to be making me the centre of your attention, I am not in any way surprised or offended by you focusing on your own needs right now... I have a book."

[dubiousdisco]

[brightgoat]

rummaging for an earl grey teabag like its a cigarette

[picklepuffin]

[werewolf-transgenderism]

oh my god I just saw the cutest thing in the world. little Black girl with beads in her hair for the first day of school and the beads were pink then silver then a bunch of yellow then beige then grey to make them look like pencils 🥺🥺🥺 brb I will draw an artist’s rendition

[werewolf-transgenderism]

^ like this. waaaaaugh 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[the-anonymous-banana]

Fave part of the odyssey is when Odysseus absent mindedly takes a bite out of one of his men's legs while they're starving and when he's like wtf Odysseus, it sharp cuts to anne hatheway lounging on top of robert patinson on top of tom holland on top of Odysseus's dog on a regular ass bed and mentor is watching bc he's been pretending to be blind this whole time which is why he always brings it up. They all say in unison "oh that odysseus. he never learns does he" and then it sharp cuts to the cyclops tied to the ground with the sirens and lotus eaters all wearing exclusively fishnet clothing running in circles and chanting "zeus's law" and then it sharp cuts again to Odysseus sitting at the far end of the cafeteria table saying way too quietly bc they forgot to mic him "i bet you're wondering why I brought you all here." Zendaya walks in from off screen in an executive power suit and tousles odysseus's hair affectionately. Sharp cut right before puppy play time. And then we get a three and a half minute extended cut of a billowing sail

[kaity--did]

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

[kaity--did]

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

[kaity--did]

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

[kaity--did]

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

????

[kaity--did]

Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave

Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!

[kaity--did]

FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering

[justplainsalty]

I have follow up questions:

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?

[kaity--did]

I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂

[kaity--did]

Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.

Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she

1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night

2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day

3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together

I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times

[beesmygod]

What are some smart sounding things you can say out loud while reading a book in public

a dry chuckle and a "how droll" is a classic. shows youre above the material but recognize its attempts to amuse you

[erarg]

wheres the gif of the guy on fire but then he eats a watermelon and hes fine

[selkiecide]

[skelecola]

this is what summertime is like

[aflo]

Attempting to locate a new Greek restaraunt using my gyroscope

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[toastyhat-deactivated20180203]

[adhdalistair]