Clarke Griffin @the-clarke - Tumblr Blog

Before The Dawn

actualrocketscientist‌:

This was what Raven had expected and attempted to mentally prepare for. Clarke had every reason to be upset with her, hate her even for what she’d done. It didn’t make the way Clarke tugged her hands away sting any less as Raven wrung her own in front of herself. She had to look at the floor, unable to keep Clarke’s penetrating gaze any longer.

“I wasn’t trying to. I didn’t mean for it to go on like did,” Raven knew no matter her explanation it didn’t really change things, but she tried for Clarke’s sake. “It’s not really something a person can lead with you know? And I had missed him so much that I hoped… I dunno, that getting to know you would make it better somehow.” It might have been foolish or optimistic to think a connection with Finn would automatically mean one with his soulmate. But as recent history showed, Raven hadn’t been wrong.Or maybe she had considering the type of connection she ended up feeling with Clarke.

“All I had wanted was a chance to be your friend, and then you… you weren’t anything like I expected and it got complicated” Raven looked upward to steel her emotions as she shook her head ruefully at herself and crossed her arms tightly. “There were so many times I wanted to tell you, I swear. I didn’t know how because the moment I did it’d change everything and… I wanted to hold on to things a little longer.” More like she was scared of losing things.

Things. As if the ambiguous word meant Raven didn’t know exactly what she was talking about. Like having that rare commodity of someone she could count on in her life. Like her ever growing feelings for Clarke, the casual flirting, stolen kisses, and everything beyond that. She didn’t want to be the person that ripped Clarke’s soulmate away just a little longer.

“I know I should have told you sooner. I really am sorry.”

Clarke’s head was spinning. Her emotions ping-ponging back and forth with every new bit of information. Raven had never sounded like this before, not that Clarke had encountered. Pleading. Desperate. Clarke instinctively steeled herself against it. Too firm willed in stumbling through figuring out her feelings, usually, the hardest way possible.

This made her feel vulnerable. Like Raven has had something over her this whole time. Like something she’d used to trick or use Clarke somehow.

She found herself shaking her and taking a step back, an awful feeling rising in her stomach.

“I’m not him, Raven.” Clarke all but snapped. And once she said it she knew, that’s what hurt the most.

Not that Raven couldn’t find the words. Not that she had known her soulmate and Clarke never would. It was, admittedly, something she could sense making its way under her skin but Clarke had to face a simple fact, she’d never believed. It sounded cold, even to her, but the fact that her soulmate was dead was hardly surprising. Jarring and sudden but certainly not unbelievable.

It was that he, Finn, was what made Raven interested in her. Raven had just admitted it herself; she was hoping to feel closer to him through Clarke. He was a ghost between them, Raven’s ghost and Clarke suddenly saw their closeness in a different way. It was too much at once.

She took a breath after her sharp words and crossed the kitchen back toward her bedroom. Clarke paused in the doorway, forcing herself to fight the need toward flight and simply locking herself in her bathroom.

“I think you should go.” She said slowly, barely turning back to face Raven.

#007 #before the dawn

the-clarke

Before The Dawn

the-clarke

actualrocketscientist‌:

However much Raven thought this was going to hurt she hadn’t expected how much of a blow it would be to see Clarke’s unguarded excitement before she had to be the one to destroy it all. It felt like a weight on her chest that made it hard to breath, the knowledge that Clarke would never get to know her Finn mixed with the painful undeniable evidence that whatever connection the two of them shared and were exploring, Clarke understandably still had her feelings set on the one she had been destined for. It was selfish to feel hurt just then, but Raven couldn’t help it.

All Raven could do was nod at first, swallowing the giant lump in her throat, willing the tension in her jaw to relax. “Clarke,” Just saying her name was a struggle and Raven set her coffee aside to take both of Clarke’s hands in hers and look her in the eye. “I knew Finn very well,” she confirmed, nodding softly as she did, unsure if Clarke would pick up on her specific use of tense. She should just come out with, but she couldn’t.

“He excitedly showed me your name the first time when we were eleven, perfect script right on his thigh. And he was the boy who let me get off at his bus stop so I could have dinner at his house when my mom was too high or drunk to remember groceries. He was sweet and idealistic and the one that always believed I could make NASA happen. Finn was my best friend.” The words got caught in her throat but she barreled on. “The one I told you about last night. Who died in a car accident.”

Raven sucked in a shaky breath. “Clarke, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” It was all out there now, raw and painful. It was so unfair. To be promised to someone you couldn’t have, wouldn’t even know, seemed a worse sentence than no mark at all.

It was the pain in Raven’s eye’s that kept Clarke present, kept her listening. So much hurt. So much that it couldn’t be anything but truth, plain as day. Matter of fact. It made Clarke feel numb.

Sweet and idealistic, it sounded so much like her father. Another puzzle piece Raven seemed to supply for her. Would she and Finn have gotten along? Fell in love? This man who sounded incredibly kind and caring from childhood on.

Something cold shot through Clarke’s heart and she tensed and pulled her hands free from Raven’s.

Some part of Clarke was glad for knowing, but another felt betrayed. She was gutted. Her soulmate was dead. That was the bottom line here. Her soulmate and Raven’s dearest friend, gone.

Clarke would never know him and Raven had gotten to love him.

“Why didn’t you tell me right away? Why would you let us--” Clarke’s voice faltered and she swallowed against the devastating news and the tightening in her throat.

She found Raven’s eyes, searching them, something like fury developing in her own.

“How could you keep this from me?”

#007 #before the dawn

the-clarke

Before The Dawn

the-clarke

actualrocketscientist‌:

Raven had played this conversation out so many times in her head, but now that the moment was there she still had no way to go about it. For the first time in a while she found herself cursing soulmarks and the hold they still managed to have on her life. She went about the motions of making coffee, settling herself as much as she could before Clarke’s appearance in the kitchen.

Raven was leaned against the counter, mug curled between both her hands, letting the heat seep through as some sort of distraction to the anxiety and churned in her chest. Clarke’s teasing helped diffuse some of the tension and Raven huffed a small laugh into her coffee. “France isn’t big on space stuff. Japan,” Raven offered with a small smile, unable to fight the expression with Clarke right there trying to help her out. “Don’t worry I’m not moving.” The sigh she let out was far too dramatic and she hated herself for it.

“I don’t know where to start,” Raven said, eyes darting to Clarke, down to her thigh, and then to the coffee she held. “I haven’t been completely honest with you. Or, more I have something I haven’t told you I’ve been needing to.”

Raven swallowed and forced herself to look back at Clarke. “That first day we met?” Raven found her voice going up like a question as if Clarke wouldn’t remember the encounter for some reason. “I knew who you were. I didn’t expect you to be there. I was really just volunteering,” Raven rushed to clarify. “I guess I should say, I knew your name. I didn’t know you. Because…” Raven shifted nervously against the counter. “Because your name was the only soulmark that I’d seen on someone that mattered to me.”

Raven hadn’t gotten to the hard part of things and already she wanted to stop. To tell Clarke to forget she mentioned anything and go back to bed and enjoy their morning.

Not moving away. Clarke had been joking but it was still, she found, a relief to hear. She was starting to get used to having Raven around. It wasn’t as if Raven was a huge fixture in Clarke’s life but if she were honest with herself it wasn’t as if she hadn’t as of lately begun to consider what that would be like.

The tone had been set lightly but the more Raven attempted to begin the more serious Clarke realized this conversation was about to be. Her brow furrowed and she sat up straighter. This was odd behavior for Raven. Clarke was seeing expressions on her she’d never seen before. A stiffness in her movements that stifled the usual charisma Clarke had come to expect from Raven. It all told her she needed to listen carefully, and concern rose in her too swiftly for before she’d managed to have a sip of her own coffee.

It didn’t make sense at first, Clarke had to orient herself in the conversation. With no preface to what Raven felt she needed to say Clarke was left putting the pieces together as they went. She hadn’t expected they’d be discussing their first meeting, or suddenly soulmarks, and certainly not in a way that suggested these two things were connected.

Clarke’s fingers moved to graze her thigh absently, her eyes holding Raven’s for as long as Raven was allowing. Confusion rung through Clarke the most but her thoughts worked their way around the pieces of their story she hadn’t known til then and a different light was cast over their relationship in an instant.

“Finn?” Clarke asked, already knowing. But how could that be? It was far too big of a coincidence. And on top of that, why would Raven keep it a secret until now? Then, with the realization in place Clarke felt an unexpected jolt of excitement. Like something she’d been waiting for had finally arrived. A mystery that had nagged at her solved. She slipped off the counter, coffee entirely forgotten, and took a step closer to Raven. “You know Finn? My Finn?” Clarke asked, urgency laced into each word.

#006 #before the dawn

the-clarke

Before The Dawn

the-clarke

actualrocketscientist‌:

Raven slept well, the few times she woke up in the night she was still wrapped in the cocoon that was Clarke and contentedly drifted back to sleep. It was the type of sleep Raven could get used to. The type that she shouldn’t get used to. It was Clarke’s arm sliding out from under her, and then clamoring out of bed that woke her for real. Raven wanted to just lay there and bask in the morning quiet, go about things like they had the first time she’d stayed the night, but guilt slipped in and soured the warmth that had let her sleep so soundly.

Raven found her shirt on the floor, but she had no desire to get back in her jeans. Instead she opened the drawer she remembered from last time and stole a pair of Clarke’s soft shorts. Already she knew her motives were suspect, thinking how easy it would be to use returning them as an excuse to come back. Raven tugged them on anyway and settled on the edge of the unmade bed nervously. She’d let things go on too long but she still wasn’t sure if she was ready to explain things to Clarke.

“Morning,” Raven greeted when Clarke came back from the bathroom, smile immediately on her face at the sight of Clarke, blonde hair ruffled from sleep.

The decision to let her eyes wander was unconscious more than anything. Raven was validly appreciating Clarke in only her bra and underwear when her gaze tracked over and paused for a fraction on the script on her thigh. Raven’s chest clenched and she immediately looked anywhere else. She knew that spot, had recognized his dumb F even upside down. Fuck. Now was the time to come clean.

“I wanted to talk,” Raven forced out of her mouth. “Not this second. After you get dressed of course. Or we haven’t had coffee. I’ll go make coffee.” She pushed up from the edge of the bed and nearly bolted for the kitchen to rummage through Clarke’s coffee supplies.

Clarke was expecting Raven to still be in bed when she returned from the bathroom, having plans of her own to climb right back in behind her but the smile she was given made up for losing the chance to cuddle up behind Raven again. And she, stupidly, found herself grinning just the same.

“Morning.” Clarke returned warmly. She would have settled herself in beside Raven at the corner of the bed, content in just her underclothes despite her notice of Raven’s added shirt and short’s Clarke recognized as her own, but she decided against it once Raven spoke up.

Clarke couldn’t of gotten a word in if she wanted to with Raven more or less answering herself in quick succession. Something nagged instantly at Clarke’s nerves, an inherent reaction probably for anyone to ‘I want to talk’. For a moment she wondered about taking Raven’s hand before she could pass for the kitchen, stalling to stay in the casual comfort she woke up in but Clarke decided against it. Instead she nodded and watched her go.

In no time she was dressed in soft and comfortable clothes and joined Raven in the kitchen. The strong smell of coffee already in the air.

“So I’ve narrowed it down to an obsessive My Strange Addiction type of situation that you’re embarrassed to tell people about or,” Clarke paused a moment, distracting herself with sliding up onto the counter beside the two mugs set out. “or you're moving away to work at a high tech testing facility in France.”

Or Raven wanted to discuss what was happening between them. Clarke found playing coy to be an effective tactic when trying to avoid something. Then again, she could be reasonable. It probably was a good time, she had just figured Raven would be the type content with not having this conversation too.

#before the dawn #006

the-clarke

Before The Dawn

the-clarke

actualrocketscientist‌:

Raven didn’t have to move to look up at Clarke and smile softly at her. Usually compliments made her smug, but currently she was warm and sleepy and the litany directed her way was more affecting coming from Clarke. “I am really awesome,” rolled off her tongue with practiced ease, though all she could think of was that Clarke wouldn’t find her so great if she knew what Raven was keeping from her.

Raven squeezed Clarke’s hand in return, letting out a deep breath from her lungs that made her sink into the bed further. “I was happy to,” she replied quieter like the darkness warranted a softer tone. “I like your friends. They’re a good time, which makes sense since you clearly have impeccable taste in people.”

“And maybe I like spending time with you too,” Raven tacked on after the stillness held long enough for what she was really feeling to bubble out. She rolled her head to the side and stretched without lifting herself from the bed to kiss the closest part of Clarke she could reach. It was a dangerous soft affection she didn’t allow herself with people. She didn’t have a name on her. No soulmate. Raven was a good time, not the girl someone wanted to wake up every morning.

“Thanks for inviting me. And letting me stay.” The word stay almost caught in Raven’s throat and she was mad about it.

Clarke barely rolled her eyes at Raven’s compliments to herself but it was too second nature at that point to not happen at all. It lifted her mood. The sudden seriousness that had set into her cracking at the surface and letting in Raven’s warmth with ease.

She watched silently as Raven leaned up to kiss her. Raven’s lips were soft and a touch colder than she was expecting against her shoulder. Clarke took a moment to settle into the casual intimacy. To allow herself to accept it without question; then she smiled, easy and delicate and rolled back toward Raven. She wrapped her arms around her, wiggling her wrist around to dig beneath the curve of Raven’s side against the bed and envelope her completely.

Clarke pulled Raven close, rested her chin on her bare shoulder, and let out a soft sigh. No more thinking, no more talking. She’d set her mind to that and in what felt like only seconds, she was asleep.

In the morning her arm was numb. Clarke flexed the fingers of her trapped hand and when she went to draw her arm back realized it was stuck. All at once she remembered Raven, their night, and the last of Raven’s words to her the night before and she opened her eyes.

Staying the night didn’t mean anything. Did it?

It was a question for later, just then, all Clarke could think about was how much she didn’t want to disturb Raven but, she desperately had to pee.

With a less than graceful attempt Clarke slid herself away and nearly fell off the bed before catching herself on the nightstand and cursing under her breath. Whether or not she’d woke Raven would have to wait for her return as she dashed away, only have nudging the en suite door closed on the way.

#007 #before the dawn

the-clarke

Before The Dawn

the-clarke

actualrocketscientist‌:

Raven shouldn’t have been getting used to Clarke bed, the softness she sank into, the the distinct smell that was there even before Clarke slipped in under the covers. There was a limited timeline to all this and Raven knew she shouldn’t let it draw out much longer for both their sakes. She’d told Clarke about Finn tonight, minus his name, the groundwork laid.

Clarke’s lips on her shoulder and the way her breath spread over her neck while she talked made Raven’s nerves stand on end in that completely good feeling way that probably had to do something with serotonin levels or something. Raven chuckled and it jostled them. “So you’re saying you would have done all those things with just anyone? I’m offended,” Raven teased, ignoring the lying comment because it made her think of all she was still hiding.”Usually I get to be the bad influence.”

Raven reached over with her opposite arm that wasn’t already tucked around Clarke and tucked away a few blondes strands of hair. She kept her sideways gaze on her in the dim room. “I’ll have you know not just anyone could get me to do all that with them,” Raven admitted softly, not teasing this time. “So I’d say that implies pretty complimentary things of you.”

She didn’t know what Clarke thought it all said about her unless it was that Raven was far more invested than she should have been. She was falling for Clarke. Even Octavia could see it and she was five states away.

It says you’re a good friend.

Clarke thought it but she kept it to herself. That specific word, friend, it felt like it could shatter a moment. Then again Clarke preferred it to every other word she could think of.

“Complimentary things? Well I never doubted that.” Clarke said, leaning up enough on her elbow so that she could wink at Raven. Flirting with Raven was easy. As was sleeping with her. Clarke was beginning to think everything was always easy with Raven.

“Nothing to be offended by either.” Clarke dug her fingers deeper into her hair. She looked down at Raven, observing her stillness, taking her in. As if she hadn’t looked at her enough times like that. “All I’m saying is you’re a great person. Great job, volunteer work, the list goes on...”

Clarke didn’t really know where she was going with it but a tightening in her stomach told her it wasn’t anything good. Something like insecurity swept up her spine and she rolled over onto her back, doing her best to keep from pulling from Raven and into herself entirely. She didn’t deserve it. Or, Raven deserved more than Clarke. More than a lost girl still deciding if she believed in soulmates.

She reached for Raven’s hand and took it. Squeezing it.

“Thank you for joining me tonight.”

#007 #before the dawn

Before The Dawn

By the end of the night Clarke did get Raven alone at her place but it was only after they were sorely interrupted by Harper sticking her head out the back door with her eyes covered before Raven could return the favor, asking if either of them needed a courtesy-of-sober-Bellamy ride home. To which Clarke had reluctantly accepted. She’d replayed the sound of restrained moans and ragged breathing over and over the entire ride to her apartment but Raven’s warm and sated presence had lulled the ache away in favor of clutching the woman’s hand in the duration of being in the eldest Blake’s back seat, and helping Raven out of her clothes and into bed once they’d arrived.

“Up you go.” Clarke all but whispered, guiding Raven by her hips into the bed. Clarke suspected by the dopey look on Raven’s face she was more tired than drunk but the late hour was taking its toll on both of them and Clarke seemed to be more in control of her motor functions out of the two of them.

She took her time joining Raven, first making a pit stop to the bathroom to wash her face and let out her hair. Clarke stripped down to her underclothes, same as Raven, and slid in beside her; an easy sigh falling past her lips as she settled in.

“I think I’ve been a bad influence on you.” Clarke said, her gaze jumping from the digital clock on her night stand to the shadows the low light caused across Raven’s face.

“Routinely intoxicated, up all night,” Clarke grinned and dipped her chin to drop an effortless kiss to Raven’s shoulder “...public sexual encounters.” She hid her grin there, content to drift off to sleep in the crook of Raven’s neck. “You even have already lied for me.” If only her thoughts would calm enough to allow it.

She closed her eyes.

“I don’t know what that says about me...” Clarke hesitated to say, unwilling to unpack it, “but you should know it says a whole lot about you.”

#before the dawn #007

the-clarke

Midnight Moonlight

the-clarke

actualrocketscientist:

The corners of Raven’s lips curled up, Clarke falling in step with something that had already come from Raven’s mouth earlier that night. So hot was right. And thinking on that was far easier than addressing thoughts on anything else. Not that Raven was all too good at thinking clearly anyway when Clarke’s hands were starting to wander and lips pressed more insistently to her own. Raven shut her eyes and let herself give in to Clarke, not even stopping the way her shirt was bunching up.

Raven knew it wasn’t a question that needed answering when she righted herself with a deep breath. Except her brain supplied one anyway. Fate? How else could she explain walking into the gym that day to find the woman who shared the name of the only soul mark she’d ever known. For a brief moment her heart raced in panic that perhaps she’d answered allowed. Though Clarke’s kisses assured her she hadn’t and sent her heartbeat fluttering for all different reasons.

“Clarke,” Raven breathed out, hand moving up the back of the blonde’s shirt, feeling warm skin as lips pressed to her neck. She angled her head to give Clarke more encouraging access. Her thoughts were fractured, not sure what she was going to say. This was only going to make things harder. More complicated. But Raven couldn’t loose it just yet. Instead she gave in to not thinking and just doing.“You better not just be working me up.” She almost let out an airy chuckle but it came out more of a groan. She pulled Clarke up against her harder, like the closeness would help whatever she was chasing. Her hand that was on her back under Clarke’s shirt slipped to the side and moved upwards showing her intent as well.

Clarke’s hands stopped, stilled for a moment while she laughed. Her shoulders shook with the giggle that came out against Raven’s pulse and when she began to resume her efforts it wasn’t enough. No, she wasn’t teasing Raven. Not with any intention to stop anyway.

Her right hand began its decent and she brought her lips back to Raven’s. Intent on keeping her occupied.

“If you can keep it down.” Clarke said, popping the button of Raven’s jeans in an easy motion. She played her fingertips at the top of Raven’s panties---maybe teasing just a little.

The risk of getting caught by one of her friends was exciting and elevating the situation but the actual idea of it was not. Clarke shuffled and pushed against Raven, guiding her to the darker corner of the porch and pressed her against the wood railing before she turned her hand and slipped it easily past the thin garment. The jeans made the fit tight but Clarke was confident she could manage. Maybe too confident.

“I want to take you back to my place right now...” She whispered, her lips ghosting over Raven’s as she spoke. “I want you all to myself and out of these clothes.” Clarke sighed and pressed her fingers against Raven, ready to get her off as quick as possible. “I guess this will have to do...”

#006 #Midnight Moonlight

the-clarke

Midnight Moonlight

the-clarke

actualrocketscientist:

Clarke’s laugh vibrated through her as she pressed back into the blonde’s face against hers. Raven thoroughly enjoyed the sound, especially if she was the source, however ridiculous the reason was.

“I don’t mind either,” Raven spoke back, slight shake of her head to emphasize. They were still dancing around the issue, but it worked for them.

Not for the first time Raven wondered if Clarke knew how damn affecting that mischievous look was on her. Her grin grew without a second thought under Clarke attention, cute and infectious. She angled just enough to set her beer down by a potted plant, so she could have two hands on Clarke.

“You know you always have such good ideas,” Raven’s expression turned smug at Clarke’s playful suggestion. The flirtation was more overt and less prompted by alcohol and, in a way that made everything feel more genuine. She let the hand that had been on the small of Clarke’s back slip low until she was cupping her ass.

“Compromising is exciting,” she said, using her grip to push Clarke into her a little more. She matched Clarke’s playful tone and went in for a quick teasing kiss that she pulled out of to talk. “But I’d like to think, everything is kinda exciting when we’re together.” It sounded like her usual flattery, but the admission hit closer to Raven’s true feelings. Even Clarke just bringing her soup or standing on a porch together was something to Raven.

The comment didn’t falter Clarke’s smile but she blinked at Raven, digesting the words. When they’re together. She was inclined to agree but something about it tugged at her differently, something in Raven’s voice as she said it.

Clarke pushed past it.

“Because we’re both so unbelievably hot, right?” She asked, not really seeking an answer. Her attention split toward what her hands were doing, making good on her implied threat to feel Raven up right there on the back porch. Clarke carefully moved both of her hands down the front of Raven’s shirt until she reached the end of it and she could get beneath it. As soon as her fingertips had reached the underside of the brunette’s bra, Clarke drew their lips back together. This kiss was firmer and more demanding. Suddenly Clarke was asking for something and if Raven didn’t stop her it wouldn’t be long before she was reaching her way past the woman’s waistband. And Clarke realized as she began to push the inconvenient garment up out of the way that she didn’t want to be stopped.

She broke the kiss herself and inhaled deeply. “Where did you come from, Reyes?” Clarke asked, knowing there wasn’t a real answer. It was the same recurring question Clarke had since the night of her flat tire and one that had evolved into Clarke wondering how they had gotten to that point. Committing intimate acts on the back porch of her best friends house. As if it were a regular occurrence or had happened before.

Clarke pecked again at Raven’s lips and then moved on to press lazy kisses along her neck. She had been pretending not to be looking for someone all this time and then Raven, an exception to every idea of love society had thrown at Clarke, came along and quietly began to fill that void.

It was easier to be touching rather than thinking.

#007 #Midnight Moonlight

the-clarke

Midnight Moonlight

the-clarke

actualrocketscientist:

Clarke seemed to somehow sense there was something important about what Raven was admitting, even if she couldn’t understand exactly what it was. She was warm and close and comforting and part of Raven hated herself for being unable to bring herself to say more. Clarke didn’t pity or try to fix anything, she was just there, faces close enough that it made Raven’s stomach do a flip.

Raven smiled softly and moved just enough for it to be considered a nod as Clarke offered up her friends to her. Raven did want them. For more beer pong and quantum physics discussions. Nights like this that were just easy and fun. But even more she wanted what they symbolized in having Clarke in her life. And if Raven said any more, she could jeopardize that.

Raven let the quiet stretch, holding on to Clarke and burying down her worries so she could enjoy just then. It was Clarke, as usual who made the move, slotting their lips together in a kiss that felt different, more even, than all the others. Raven’s arm around Clarke’s waist tightened and she sighed as she felt Clarke’s fingers grip at her shoulder like they both needed to keep each other close. And perhaps they both did.

Girlfriend. One small word shouldn’t have made her heart speed up or make her long for the prospect of being just that. It wasn’t too long ago that Raven had pretended with no problems. At least not the problems there now. But currently there were feelings she couldn’t deny. Raven let out an amused breath, causing Clarke’s blonde hair to flutter around her face in the process.

“I mean doesn’t your mom still think that. Why not at a few more to list while we’re at it,” Raven ever so skilled at deflecting. Her fingers drummed on the small of Clarke’s back and she pulled her head away just enough so she could look Clarke in the eye. I don’t think it’d be so bad to be your girlfriend. That was what was in her head, maybe it even read on her face, but instead what came out was decidedly less vulnerable. “We do look really hot together. Who could blame them.”

Raven swallowed at the things she wanted to say, because it wasn’t her place. She was the one without a soul mark. She was the one holding out on Clarke. She had no right to want more from Clarke than whatever it was she had right now.

“I don’t think kissing on the porch sends them a different message.” It was all Raven could do to stop herself from stealing another kiss.

Clarke laughed but pressed her cheek to Raven’s for a moment to hide her face. Her mother did still think they were dating, she’d almost forgotten she had asked Raven to do that and a pang of embarrassment flickered to life before she could stop it. In any case, Clarke shrugged it off.

“I don’t mind if you don’t.” She admitted. “On either count.”

The whole ordeal was doing wonders at keeping her mother off her back. Abby was probably too concerned that trying to reason with Clarke would only end in more arguments to make any real attempts at commenting on her love life. And when it came to her friends, well, they’d done their share of meddling too.

“Although I don’t think anyone is watching.” Clarke said and took a quick scan of the doorway and windows behind them to be certain. Her smile grew mischievous. “They’re probably getting around to binge watching the latest Netflix thing or setting up some incredibly complicated board game with a sixteen sided dice. It’s just you, me, and the crickets...”

Feeling so bold came naturally with Raven. Clarke fed off the woman’s confidence. And Raven had plenty of it to spare.

“It might be exciting,” Clarke ventured playfully with a raised eyebrow “the possibility of getting caught out here with our hands in compromising places.” She said, her palms going flat to the top of Raven’s chest, moving with a subtle threat toward roaming lower.

#007 #Midnight Moonlight

the-clarke

Midnight Moonlight

the-clarke

actualrocketscientist:

Raven nodded in silent agreement. From her own interaction that night and what she’d witnessed with Monty he seemed like a good dude. And of course Raven couldn’t forget how he was the one that was meant to save Clarke in the middle of the night. Any friend willing to do that for Clarke had to be solid.

There was something about Clarke’s self-deprecating laugh that stopped Raven’s usual bravado from proclaiming her own awesomeness. Instead she rubbed her hand up and down Clarke’s side lazily and wondered if Clarke realized that her friends, to Raven at least, seemed the type that would follow her to the edge and back. Clarke had that effect on people.

Raven turned in Clarke’s arms, the mention of her soulmate was like an unexpected shot to her gut, but the soft hands running so easily through her hair soothed it away. It wasn’t even forced when she smiled at Clarke despite the churning emotions. “Yeah well I am kinda exciting to talk about. Can’t blame them,” Raven teased lightly, using the hand that had gone to rest on Clarke’s back to bump them together slightly. The moment felt intimate in the quiet of the humid night air, and Raven could feel herself tipping towards vulnerability with Clarke she had a hard time stopping.

“I’m really glad you decided to invite me so I could meet them,” Raven said and took a breath, willing herself to at least partially broach one of the topics she’d been avoiding with Clarke for so long. Maybe if she broke it up in parts she’d eventually tell Clarke all the truth. She’d had just enough alcohol to ease the worst of her nerves. She found herself looking out into the dark at nothing. “I don’t have as many friends down here. Basically Monty and the NASA guys.” Raven screwed up her mouth and shrugged one shoulder slightly.

She forced her gaze back to Clarke’s light eyes that were right in front of her. “I…” She started wishing she could quickly down the rest of her beer held at her side but resisting. “My best friend, he died in a car accident a little while before I moved down here.” Raven wasn’t going to let herself get emotional talking about it. Plenty of time had passed. “And I guess I have kinda sucked at finding new friends since then. So this,” Raven didn’t move away from Clarke but she stretched her arm back behind her, gesturing to the house with her half-consumed beer. “This was great.”

There was more that she probably could have verbalized. That Clarke wasn’t just a friend to her, hadn’t been for longer than Raven had admitted to herself. But that had to be evident though unspoken, right? Perhaps she was reading into things about the importance of Clarke admission about bringing her around, like perhaps the promised future be damned.

Clarke’s brow furrowed in her focus to listen. Just from the way Raven had started, the sound of her voice, and the way she was holding herself, Clarke knew it was something important. She pressed herself fully to Raven, her palms rubbing warmly over the sides of her arms for comfort.

“I’m sorry.” She said, knowing she didn’t have to, it wasn’t what Raven was looking for. Clarke knew a little too much about loss and about the way people looked at you when it was spoken about. Raven didn’t want her pity, she just wanted her to listen.

The blonde pressed her forehead to Raven’s and exhaled slowly. It was great. Calm, quiet except for the sound of crickets and Clarke couldn’t be sure why but it felt like something was passing between them. A stillness. She let her eyes close, content to stay holding each other and swaying slightly on the back porch for the rest of the night.

“My friends are your friends if you want them, they’d be happy to have you.” It was the truth, one that didn’t really need to be spoken but Clarke liked the permanence of Raven in the sentiment. For once, it didn’t scare her.

She took another slow breath and lifted her chin without looking. She kissed Raven without the thrum of alcohol distracting her from how it felt deep down instead of just how Raven tasted. It was fuller, and surprisingly easy. Clarke tipped her head and brushed their noses, adjusting her angle to kiss Raven deeper. Her fingers curled into the brunette’s shoulders, subconsciously gripping her to keep her close and when she was through, when she felt she’d had enough for the moment, their lips parted but her hold remained.

Breathless, Clarke allowed herself the joy in the exchange. As bittersweet as it was.

“Although, you should be warned, they’ve all assuming you’re my girlfriend.”

#007 #Midnight Moonlight

the-clarke

Midnight Moonlight

the-clarke

actualrocketscientist:

Wells had gone off to find another beer leaving Raven in search of Clarke. The party was winding down, Raven having lost Monty a while ago to head off with Miller. It had been fun to finally put a face to the one who Clarke had been intending to call on that fateful night that led to Raven rescuing her in the bar parking lot. She found Clarke in the quiet of the porch, and so she slipped out into the humid night air, half consumed beer in hand.

The casual closeness that had built between them had still come easily most of the night even with Clarke’s friends’ eyes on them. It wasn’t really cold. Florida never seemed to get cold like it did in DC, but Clarke didn’t move away when Raven curled her arm around her. Raven turned and laughed into Clarke’s hair. Wells had her in rare form. The teasing was deserved. “I can’t help it that Wells realizes how awesome I am. And shares my passion for theoretical physics. But don’t worry. I still like you the best.” She squeezed Clarke with the arm she had around her.

Raven took a sip of her beer. “Your friends are all kinda great,” she said softly. It was funny because all Raven had wanted when she first looked Clarke up was a friend. Someone she felt like she could fit with. Tonight Clarke had certainly provided in that department, everyone having been easy to get along with. But then there was still Clarke, who had ended up slotting into Raven’s life with disturbing ease as something far more than a friend. A reality Raven had both accepted but also was determined to ignore the implications for the time being.

“I think we’ve lost most of the crew,” Raven said, jerking her head back towards the house. Not that she at all minded some quiet alone time with Clarke. “I swear Monty couldn’t get out of here with Nathan any quicker.”

Clarke turned her head to report how she never doubted holding Raven’s interest over her friends but when she had she realized how close Raven was it kept her quiet. Blonde hair slid over both their shoulders with the movement and if Clarke just tipped a fraction in Raven’s direction their foreheads would touch. She let herself imagining the lift of her chin and the subsequent kiss that would follow. Her stomach clenched and fluttered. Alcohol usually snuffed out the nerves of butterflies but Clarke wasn’t drunk enough to ignore them and she found herself just listening and not acting. Any other night she may have already had her tongue down Raven’s throat just out of sheer proximity.

“Nathan is a good guy.” Clarke assured, not that it seemed as though Raven was worried but she had invited them here, she felt indirectly responsible for the pair meeting. “One of the best.” She added. Miller had helped her out of more than a few scrapes and never expected anything in return. She always expected people to want something from her on instinct.

“I think they liked you more than me.” It was meant as a joke but an unintentional vulnerability attached itself to her words. She looked away, out over the dark yard for as far as the porch light would allow her to see and took a drag to keep from continuing to elaborate on that thought. It wasn’t really that Clarke was concerned her friends were more interested in Raven. Raven deserved the attention. It was something else, something nagging at her through the night ever since they waked in the door and she read surprise one every one of her friends faces.

She laughed, her huffed and patented self deprecating one that sounded like she, out of everyone, was the most sick of herself.

“I don’t think they ever expected me to bring anyone but my supposed soulmate around.” Clarke admitted and flicked her finished cigarette away as she curled in more toward Raven to face her. She ran both hands through curtains of dark hair, tugging lightly at the ends before her palms came to rest on Raven’s shoulders. “They’ll be talking about you for weeks. Gossipers. All of them.”

#007 #Midnight Moonlight

Midnight Moonlight

Clarke flicked her cigarette and watched the ashes fall to the wood of the back porch. She felt good, really good, and not just drunk good. In fact most of the night she had been taking it easy on herself and drinking Harper’s light weight margaritas. Much to everyone’s exaggerated surprise.

Her mood might have also been in part to Raven getting along so well with her friends. Another thing each one of them took the chance to tease her about. Clarke Griffin bringing around a romantic interest? It was unheard of. But it got her thinking.

When she invited Raven she hadn’t really thought through what it meant. That seemed to be their way. They hung out, they went out, they had sex; without a single substantial conversation or nod toward what exactly it was they were doing between them. Raven had come so easily into her life, it almost felt like one day she was just there and Clarke hadn’t taken any time to question it.

She took another drag and swiped her finger over the building condensation on her glass. Barely tequila’d margaritas should not make her so introspective.

So caught up in herself she hadn’t heard the screen door creak open behind her so when a hand slid over her hip she momentarily froze until long dark hair came into view out of the corner of her eye. Clarke sighed and leaned into Raven, wishing it was colder so she could have an excuse to wrap herself in the woman entirely.

“I see you and Wells are through debating quantum entanglement or whatever it was...” She teased. Clarke was pretty sure that wasn’t it but seeing the two of them getting along so well had been a little too surreal for her chosen level of soberness. Wells of course knew her the best and his constant glances toward Clarke while speaking with Raven had driven her to go digging in her purse for a distraction.

#midnight moonlight #007