crab

i'm just a crab. if you come within five meters of me without knocking i will nuke you.

[the-crab-wizard]

im just a crab why do people keep telling me to join a "wizard council" everyone knows those aren't real

[the-crab-wizard]

hello, crab one.

greetings, oh state.

[maryland-officially]

wonderful creature, you are.

[the-crab-wizard]

thank you oh so very much. You are a fantastic land.

[maryland-officially]

thank you

would you like to join the crab army

[the-crab-wizard]

I have fought in many a war already, and now i live a peaceful life as a hermit. I shall only assist my crustacean comrades in battle once i am truly needed there, once they have need for a mage such as myself. is there a crab war ongoing currently?

[maryland-officially]

that is okay!

not currently, but we are preparing

[the-crab-wizard]

and who shall be our enemy to strike down?

[the-crab-wizard]

hello, crab one.

greetings, oh state.

[maryland-officially]

wonderful creature, you are.

[the-crab-wizard]

thank you oh so very much. You are a fantastic land.

[maryland-officially]

thank you

would you like to join the crab army

[the-crab-wizard]

I have fought in many a war already, and now i live a peaceful life as a hermit. I shall only assist my crustacean comrades in battle once i am truly needed there, once they have need for a mage such as myself. is there a crab war ongoing currently?

[the-crab-wizard]

hello, crab one.

greetings, oh state.

[maryland-officially]

wonderful creature, you are.

[the-crab-wizard]

thank you oh so very much. You are a fantastic land.

[the-crab-wizard]

hello, crab one.

greetings, oh state.

[olive-ridley]

All roads lead to Rome, all lineages evolve to CRAB 🦀🦀

[official-crab-posts]

official crab post

[jammywizard]

@the-crab-wizard

Is this you dear friend?

[the-crab-wizard]

shhhhh, keep your voice down. I'm in hiding. from the council taxes.

[the-crab-demigod]

Did somebody say 'taxes'????!

[the-crab-wizard]

i will not bow down to any biped, no matter who commands me. especially not if they want taxes.

[the-crab-wizard]

for years i have hidden in fear of many other, stronger creatures, who would take advantage of my involuntary solitude. for the longest time i believed i was alone. i locked myself away, in a small cove by the beach and did not come out. i was driven from there, and hid in a crumbling city of sparkling marble, but my haste does not permit me to see anyone. suddenly, my name is called upon. i finally gaze about myself. i am surrounded by others just like me. my kin. my fellow crabs. i have a country now, a ruler, soldiers, gods even, on my side. i am no longer alone.

crabs of tumblr, if you would have me, i desire nought more than to join you, as your very own crab wizard, and we shall bring about a golden age for all crabkind!

[olive-ridley]

All roads lead to Rome, all lineages evolve to CRAB 🦀🦀

[official-crab-posts]

official crab post

[jammywizard]

@the-crab-wizard

Is this you dear friend?

[the-crab-wizard]

shhhhh, keep your voice down. I'm in hiding. from the council taxes.

[dude-the-ancient-dragon]

Does anyone know where I can hire adventurers on the "Lawful" side of the grid? The last group I hired tried to kill me.

[the-crab-wizard]

have you tried hiring monsterfuckers?

[cackel]

Check out the Possumopilis - The city of supers community on Discord – hang out with 24 other members and enjoy free voice and text chat.

hey you guys should join my superhero rp server its very chill

[the-crab-wizard]

Have you considered coming to wizard island island?

All the cool wizards live here.

And no, that wasn’t a typo. Wizard island is an island in a lake, which itself became a floating sky island.

Talk to @yourlocalbreadenthusiast if you’re interested, and fill out one of @island-census-wizard’s forms to be added to the list of residents and visitors.

A census? Does that mean I'll have to pay taxes? Ew. Besides I already have a nice beach with ghosts and cannibalistic water, and I'm not leaving. So unless you can transport my entire beach up there... Wait why are there clouds here. I'm not that high up- WOAH WOAH HEY WHAT WHY I AM ON A ISLAND IN A LAKE ON A FLOATING ISLAND

[fattocatto-wizard]

No taxes.

Technically.

There’s no official government, but occasionally other groups or kingdoms try to take over. They all eventually fail. They try to collect taxes, but they can’t force us to do anything because we’re all wizards.

[the-crab-wizard]

legally I don't exist. Goodbye.

The crab stays exactly where it is, and seems to stare intensely at you.

[fattocatto-wizard]

I- uh, what?

You good? Are you okay?

You know I can still see you right?

(The cat tilts his head in questioning)

[the-crab-wizard]

The crab just continues to stare.

[the-crab-wizard]

Have you considered coming to wizard island island?

All the cool wizards live here.

And no, that wasn’t a typo. Wizard island is an island in a lake, which itself became a floating sky island.

Talk to @yourlocalbreadenthusiast if you’re interested, and fill out one of @island-census-wizard’s forms to be added to the list of residents and visitors.

A census? Does that mean I'll have to pay taxes? Ew. Besides I already have a nice beach with ghosts and cannibalistic water, and I'm not leaving. So unless you can transport my entire beach up there... Wait why are there clouds here. I'm not that high up- WOAH WOAH HEY WHAT WHY I AM ON A ISLAND IN A LAKE ON A FLOATING ISLAND

[fattocatto-wizard]

No taxes.

Technically.

There’s no official government, but occasionally other groups or kingdoms try to take over. They all eventually fail. They try to collect taxes, but they can’t force us to do anything because we’re all wizards.

[the-crab-wizard]

legally I don't exist. Goodbye.

The crab stays exactly where it is, and seems to stare intensely at you.

[the-crab-wizard]

Have you considered coming to wizard island island?

All the cool wizards live here.

And no, that wasn’t a typo. Wizard island is an island in a lake, which itself became a floating sky island.

Talk to @yourlocalbreadenthusiast if you’re interested, and fill out one of @island-census-wizard’s forms to be added to the list of residents and visitors.

A census? Does that mean I'll have to pay taxes? Ew. Besides I already have a nice beach with ghosts and cannibalistic water, and I'm not leaving. So unless you can transport my entire beach up there... Wait why are there clouds here. I'm not that high up- WOAH WOAH HEY WHAT WHY I AM ON A ISLAND IN A LAKE ON A FLOATING ISLAND

[the-crab-wizard]

knock knock

who's there? Is it the taxes guy?

[the-crab-wizard]

As a crab, I am the peak of perfection in terms of beasts of land and sea. But to create the Perfect being... that would require a beast of flame and sky... maybe that is the path to Aurum...

[lexa-willowisp]

So are we thinking Phoenix or Bombardier Beetle

[the-crab-wizard]

a phoenix would certainly make a good beast... and the beetle is easy to find... however it may also qualify as a beast of land which could misbalance the quantities. another option could be a dragon, but i know not where i might find one.

[the-crab-wizard]

As a crab, I am the peak of perfection in terms of beasts of land and sea. But to create the Perfect being... that would require a beast of flame and sky... maybe that is the path to Aurum...

[cackel]

Hey, I made a superhero-themed discord RP server. roleplay as a shitty d-list hero or villain, and have fun. idk what else to put here but uhhh. yeah

Check out the Possumopilis community on Discord – hang out with 4 other members and enjoy free voice and text chat.