leave my children alone!! (on hiatus)

[MOD IS A MINOR]

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Some fat bastard slapped ur daughter's hand because she tried to take a sweet from the bowl."

"What?"

[the-cryptid-guy]

Mr. Dog man, I come with a peace offering.

"What?"

[bog-sludge]

Husband. Big mean tried to take him.

[the-cryptid-guy]

-cue Jack making noises at Sin and walking over to him-

[bog-sludge]

-cue Sin petting Jack.-

[the-cryptid-guy]

[the-cryptid-guy]

Mr. Dog man, I come with a peace offering.

"What?"

[bog-sludge]

Husband. Big mean tried to take him.

[the-cryptid-guy]

-cue Jack making noises at Sin and walking over to him-

[the-cryptid-guy]

Mr. Dog man, I come with a peace offering.

"What?"

[the-cryptid-guy]

Newt ate 1 of ur jars of mayo. The jar btw. The whole thing.

-not from a strange bog monster

"How the hell..."

"Newt! How in the world did you eat a whole jar??"

[bog-sludge]

"...I was dared to do it Pa..."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"By who?? And how did you do it without choking???"

[bog-sludge]

"...the big mean many eye man...because I was playing with my only friend..."

-she shrugs-

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Who?????"

[bog-sludge]

"Umm... The tall one... Had a incident with Paranoia's Box."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Martin?? Why did you listen to him? Did he threaten you? I swear to god if he threatened you"

[bog-sludge]

-Newt thinks for a moment. Her words can cause destruction if she doesn't work them carefully.-

"Well, no. He was angry at me because I trespassed, and I didn't want to anger him more so I did what he said... A little to literally."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Why-"

-sigh-

"Just tell me if hes being a moldy piece of corn bread in the future"

[bog-sludge]

"Papa has better insults, u should of heard the one he gave to Mr. Lawrence."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Yes I heard. And I heard Silas's cackling over it. But seriously, stay away from Martin. He isn't worth the trouble"

[bog-sludge]

"But I have no other friend then Magpie... No one else talks too me, well, anyone that's my age."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"I know but I dont want you getting hurt"

[bog-sludge]

"Easy for u, u have friends. What do I have? Stupid rock, a smoke pipe and a bin lid for a hat."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"I know, i know its hard. This place isn't exactly meant for children to grow up and have a normal childhood. Just... I'll try to figure something out, so you can see Magpie safely. Without Martin being a bother"

[bog-sludge]

"Also he called me mean words. Then papa. Then proceeded to throw me out."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Of course he did... hey, how about we go to the cafeteria and see if they have anything tasty?"

[bog-sludge]

"Everything there tastes like Mr. Shade's ass hair with a sprinkle whale fart and a dash of Lyles sweat."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Okay its not that bad you're being dramatic. But... you wanna go bake a chocolate lava cake instead then?"

[bog-sludge]

"YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!"

-cue her jumping-

[the-cryptid-guy]

-Jack chuckles-

"Alright Alright calm down before you headbutt me in the chin. Lets go"

[the-cryptid-guy]

Newt ate 1 of ur jars of mayo. The jar btw. The whole thing.

-not from a strange bog monster

"How the hell..."

"Newt! How in the world did you eat a whole jar??"

[bog-sludge]

"...I was dared to do it Pa..."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"By who?? And how did you do it without choking???"

[bog-sludge]

"...the big mean many eye man...because I was playing with my only friend..."

-she shrugs-

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Who?????"

[bog-sludge]

"Umm... The tall one... Had a incident with Paranoia's Box."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Martin?? Why did you listen to him? Did he threaten you? I swear to god if he threatened you"

[bog-sludge]

-Newt thinks for a moment. Her words can cause destruction if she doesn't work them carefully.-

"Well, no. He was angry at me because I trespassed, and I didn't want to anger him more so I did what he said... A little to literally."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Why-"

-sigh-

"Just tell me if hes being a moldy piece of corn bread in the future"

[bog-sludge]

"Papa has better insults, u should of heard the one he gave to Mr. Lawrence."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Yes I heard. And I heard Silas's cackling over it. But seriously, stay away from Martin. He isn't worth the trouble"

[bog-sludge]

"But I have no other friend then Magpie... No one else talks too me, well, anyone that's my age."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"I know but I dont want you getting hurt"

[bog-sludge]

"Easy for u, u have friends. What do I have? Stupid rock, a smoke pipe and a bin lid for a hat."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"I know, i know its hard. This place isn't exactly meant for children to grow up and have a normal childhood. Just... I'll try to figure something out, so you can see Magpie safely. Without Martin being a bother"

[bog-sludge]

"Also he called me mean words. Then papa. Then proceeded to throw me out."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Of course he did... hey, how about we go to the cafeteria and see if they have anything tasty?"

[bog-sludge]

"Everything there tastes like Mr. Shade's ass hair with a sprinkle whale fart and a dash of Lyles sweat."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Okay its not that bad you're being dramatic. But... you wanna go bake a chocolate lava cake instead then?"

[the-cryptid-guy]

Newt ate 1 of ur jars of mayo. The jar btw. The whole thing.

-not from a strange bog monster

"How the hell..."

"Newt! How in the world did you eat a whole jar??"

[bog-sludge]

"...I was dared to do it Pa..."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"By who?? And how did you do it without choking???"

[bog-sludge]

"...the big mean many eye man...because I was playing with my only friend..."

-she shrugs-

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Who?????"

[bog-sludge]

"Umm... The tall one... Had a incident with Paranoia's Box."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Martin?? Why did you listen to him? Did he threaten you? I swear to god if he threatened you"

[bog-sludge]

-Newt thinks for a moment. Her words can cause destruction if she doesn't work them carefully.-

"Well, no. He was angry at me because I trespassed, and I didn't want to anger him more so I did what he said... A little to literally."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Why-"

-sigh-

"Just tell me if hes being a moldy piece of corn bread in the future"

[bog-sludge]

"Papa has better insults, u should of heard the one he gave to Mr. Lawrence."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Yes I heard. And I heard Silas's cackling over it. But seriously, stay away from Martin. He isn't worth the trouble"

[bog-sludge]

"But I have no other friend then Magpie... No one else talks too me, well, anyone that's my age."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"I know but I dont want you getting hurt"

[bog-sludge]

"Easy for u, u have friends. What do I have? Stupid rock, a smoke pipe and a bin lid for a hat."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"I know, i know its hard. This place isn't exactly meant for children to grow up and have a normal childhood. Just... I'll try to figure something out, so you can see Magpie safely. Without Martin being a bother"

[bog-sludge]

"Also he called me mean words. Then papa. Then proceeded to throw me out."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Of course he did... hey, how about we go to the cafeteria and see if they have anything tasty?"

[the-cryptid-guy]

Newt ate 1 of ur jars of mayo. The jar btw. The whole thing.

-not from a strange bog monster

"How the hell..."

"Newt! How in the world did you eat a whole jar??"

[bog-sludge]

"...I was dared to do it Pa..."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"By who?? And how did you do it without choking???"

[bog-sludge]

"...the big mean many eye man...because I was playing with my only friend..."

-she shrugs-

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Who?????"

[bog-sludge]

"Umm... The tall one... Had a incident with Paranoia's Box."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Martin?? Why did you listen to him? Did he threaten you? I swear to god if he threatened you"

[bog-sludge]

-Newt thinks for a moment. Her words can cause destruction if she doesn't work them carefully.-

"Well, no. He was angry at me because I trespassed, and I didn't want to anger him more so I did what he said... A little to literally."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Why-"

-sigh-

"Just tell me if hes being a moldy piece of corn bread in the future"

[bog-sludge]

"Papa has better insults, u should of heard the one he gave to Mr. Lawrence."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Yes I heard. And I heard Silas's cackling over it. But seriously, stay away from Martin. He isn't worth the trouble"

[bog-sludge]

"But I have no other friend then Magpie... No one else talks too me, well, anyone that's my age."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"I know but I dont want you getting hurt"

[bog-sludge]

"Easy for u, u have friends. What do I have? Stupid rock, a smoke pipe and a bin lid for a hat."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"I know, i know its hard. This place isn't exactly meant for children to grow up and have a normal childhood. Just... I'll try to figure something out, so you can see Magpie safely. Without Martin being a bother"

[the-cryptid-guy]

Newt ate 1 of ur jars of mayo. The jar btw. The whole thing.

-not from a strange bog monster

"How the hell..."

"Newt! How in the world did you eat a whole jar??"

[bog-sludge]

"...I was dared to do it Pa..."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"By who?? And how did you do it without choking???"

[bog-sludge]

"...the big mean many eye man...because I was playing with my only friend..."

-she shrugs-

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Who?????"

[bog-sludge]

"Umm... The tall one... Had a incident with Paranoia's Box."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Martin?? Why did you listen to him? Did he threaten you? I swear to god if he threatened you"

[bog-sludge]

-Newt thinks for a moment. Her words can cause destruction if she doesn't work them carefully.-

"Well, no. He was angry at me because I trespassed, and I didn't want to anger him more so I did what he said... A little to literally."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Why-"

-sigh-

"Just tell me if hes being a moldy piece of corn bread in the future"

[bog-sludge]

"Papa has better insults, u should of heard the one he gave to Mr. Lawrence."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Yes I heard. And I heard Silas's cackling over it. But seriously, stay away from Martin. He isn't worth the trouble"

[bog-sludge]

"But I have no other friend then Magpie... No one else talks too me, well, anyone that's my age."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"I know but I dont want you getting hurt"

[the-cryptid-guy]

Newt ate 1 of ur jars of mayo. The jar btw. The whole thing.

-not from a strange bog monster

"How the hell..."

"Newt! How in the world did you eat a whole jar??"

[bog-sludge]

"...I was dared to do it Pa..."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"By who?? And how did you do it without choking???"

[bog-sludge]

"...the big mean many eye man...because I was playing with my only friend..."

-she shrugs-

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Who?????"

[bog-sludge]

"Umm... The tall one... Had a incident with Paranoia's Box."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Martin?? Why did you listen to him? Did he threaten you? I swear to god if he threatened you"

[bog-sludge]

-Newt thinks for a moment. Her words can cause destruction if she doesn't work them carefully.-

"Well, no. He was angry at me because I trespassed, and I didn't want to anger him more so I did what he said... A little to literally."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Why-"

-sigh-

"Just tell me if hes being a moldy piece of corn bread in the future"

[bog-sludge]

"Papa has better insults, u should of heard the one he gave to Mr. Lawrence."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Yes I heard. And I heard Silas's cackling over it. But seriously, stay away from Martin. He isn't worth the trouble"

[the-cryptid-guy]

Newt ate 1 of ur jars of mayo. The jar btw. The whole thing.

-not from a strange bog monster

"How the hell..."

"Newt! How in the world did you eat a whole jar??"

[bog-sludge]

"...I was dared to do it Pa..."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"By who?? And how did you do it without choking???"

[bog-sludge]

"...the big mean many eye man...because I was playing with my only friend..."

-she shrugs-

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Who?????"

[bog-sludge]

"Umm... The tall one... Had a incident with Paranoia's Box."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Martin?? Why did you listen to him? Did he threaten you? I swear to god if he threatened you"

[bog-sludge]

-Newt thinks for a moment. Her words can cause destruction if she doesn't work them carefully.-

"Well, no. He was angry at me because I trespassed, and I didn't want to anger him more so I did what he said... A little to literally."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Why-"

-sigh-

"Just tell me if hes being a moldy piece of corn bread in the future"

[the-cryptid-guy]

Newt ate 1 of ur jars of mayo. The jar btw. The whole thing.

-not from a strange bog monster

"How the hell..."

"Newt! How in the world did you eat a whole jar??"

[bog-sludge]

"...I was dared to do it Pa..."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"By who?? And how did you do it without choking???"

[bog-sludge]

"...the big mean many eye man...because I was playing with my only friend..."

-she shrugs-

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Who?????"

[bog-sludge]

"Umm... The tall one... Had a incident with Paranoia's Box."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Martin?? Why did you listen to him? Did he threaten you? I swear to god if he threatened you"

[the-cryptid-guy]

Newt ate 1 of ur jars of mayo. The jar btw. The whole thing.

-not from a strange bog monster

"How the hell..."

"Newt! How in the world did you eat a whole jar??"

[bog-sludge]

"...I was dared to do it Pa..."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"By who?? And how did you do it without choking???"

[bog-sludge]

"...the big mean many eye man...because I was playing with my only friend..."

-she shrugs-

[the-cryptid-guy]

"Who?????"

[the-cryptid-guy]

Newt ate 1 of ur jars of mayo. The jar btw. The whole thing.

-not from a strange bog monster

"How the hell..."

"Newt! How in the world did you eat a whole jar??"

[bog-sludge]

"...I was dared to do it Pa..."

[the-cryptid-guy]

"By who?? And how did you do it without choking???"

[the-cryptid-guy]

Newt ate 1 of ur jars of mayo. The jar btw. The whole thing.

-not from a strange bog monster

"How the hell..."

"Newt! How in the world did you eat a whole jar??"

[rotting-worm-flesh]

"i... Sinclair i think Si is sick. look at him"

Silas:

- @the-cryptid-guy

"SI BABY WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT INJECTING URSELF WITH MY DRUGS?!"

-Sin sighs and grabs Si, laying him on the sofa.-

"He'll be fine, Hon.... Eventually."

-Cue Newt crying because she's panicking.-

[the-cryptid-guy]

-Si is chewing on the cushions-

"Lord have mercy what the fuck are you doing Silas!?"

-Jack notices Newt crying and hugs her-

"Hey its okay, you don't need to panic"

(Ooc: today i woke up and chose chaos wtf is this 😭)

[the-cryptid-guy]

-Sinclair barges into Jack's office-

"Happy birthday, I love u so much my ancient god. Heres ur present."

-Sin gives Jack a box full of Mayo jars. He kisses Jack's cheek and sits down on the floor. Biggest mistake.-

-and for good measures, he throws a pillow at Ratchilds face, making it fall from Jack's lap.-

(Sinclair isn't really good at presents...)

"a!- no! my rat!"