Let's not do that again

Medkit parody blog [Icon by aresontherun]

[the-deer-doctor]

✧ Let's get this over with... ✧

Greetings, my name is Medkit and I hail from Lost Temple... I really don't WANT to be here... But my friend Rocket decided that he thinks I needed some way to "socialize with other demons" and made me make this account... He's lucky I favor him. And I prefer to be called "Medkit" instead of "doctor", so please make sure you remember that, okay?

♢ My rules, please respect them. -> You may ask me inappropriate questions, but I have the right to not answer if I wish to. -> Be respectful. That is all. -> I have full rights to block you if I see fit, don't test me. -> There'll be medical themes unfortunately... If you are sensitive to that, please refrain from following me. -> This'll be all for now, please don't make me add more. Okay?

-> I swear you guys must be bored of me making these parody accounts by now!!!! Like ugh!!!! Star STOP but no, no I won't. [Okay this might genuinely be my last one LMAO] -> Star making himself a self-indulgent Medkit blog bc he kins this deer fucker tooo much haha! I love this middle-aged man. -> All rules on my previous blogs apply to this one as well! Don't forget! -> I'll have a lot of my personal hcs for Medkit on here hehe. -> Everyone's welcomed! Canon, ocs, au versions. C'mon and talk to the doc! -> All medical triggers [Like needles, blood, etc etc, will be tagged as appropriately as possible!] -> IC answers will be in GREEN -> OOC answers will be COLORLESS -> Lore/HCs post: Here -> Enjoy :D

Temp ref:

[the-deer-doctor]

Bruh

Alright I'm going to ask subspace then

Toddles!

@ks-anon (kidney seller)

"Good riddance."

[the-deer-doctor]

Oh

Well what origins do you have?

@ks-anon (kidney seller)

"That's confidential.

[the-deer-doctor]

Hey quick question do you guys have kidneys

@ks-anon (kidney seller)

"No."

[the-deer-doctor]

would you like eclairs?

"I'm not big on sweets in general, but I suppose I'll indulge in one every once and a while."

[the-deer-doctor]

Medkit would you like eat bark in the winter? deer do that

"I'm not an animal."

[the-deer-doctor]

"I don't know how you managed to do this, Rocket..." -> The deer sighs while holding Rocket's prosthetic arm, a couple of tools laying out on a nearby desk as he tries to fix the HOLE in the lotl's arm. "I mean... I do work with explosives after all, Medkit!" "I built your limbs to be blast proof, Rocket. I guess I should've considered that you're just as stupid as Sword sometimes..." "Hey!" "You are. "....I know."

[the-deer-doctor]

actually i think i should bother you later

-> It's best you waited for the situation to be over with...

[the-deer-doctor]

"Goddammit, Sword. Godammit!" -> The deer demon was fumbling with the keys to his car, his hands shaking as he managed to finally get himself inside and slam the door behind him. -> The car's engine roared to life as he sped off. He didn't care if he was breaking rules, his brother and best friend was in danger.

[the-deer-doctor]

"Sword, where are you going?" -> The deer doctor lifted his head up slightly from whatever paperwork he was doing at his desk. "Goin' out!" -> The younger demon chirped with delight. "Where exactly?" "On an adventure, duh!" -> Medkit sighs softly. "Do you have your phone?" "Yes." "Is it fully charged?" "Yes." "Do you have your sword?" "Absolutely! Wouldn't leave home without it!" "Do you have food, water and something to patch yourself up with just in case?" "Yes, yes and triple yes." "Alright... Don't do anything dumb, okay?" "I'll try not to!"

[the-deer-doctor]

chinese speaker here, "golden-librarian"'s earlier long wall of text roughly translates to the lyrics of the hit song "never gonna give you up". he rickrolled you in chinese if that helps with understanding

"Fascinating." -> He doesn't seem to particularly care....

[the-deer-doctor]

Wanna kill someone? If you have coins and a gun, there you have it! You flip a coin, and then shoot it with a gun!!! Whoever you’re shooting dies in 1 minute!

"Fascinating."

[the-deer-doctor]

happy 2 day late birthday medz! *gives him a silicone booty. out of all things...*

"I.... Don't want this. You can have it back." -> He's a little disgusted...

[the-deer-doctor]

OUU HAPPY BIRTHDy,!!!

[gives you a mug that says eat sleep reflect on life repeat and skitters away]

-> He hums and stares down at the mug. This sounds about right to him!

[the-deer-doctor]

"MEDS! HAPPY SPAWNDAY!" -> The deer jolts slightly as his office door is thrusted open, his tired eye landing on the youthful bird demon. "Thank you, Sword..." -> Sword goes over and hugs onto Medkit tightly, his tail feathers wagging with delight as Medkit chuckles, patting the younger's back.

[the-deer-doctor]

hi medkit!! didnt expect to find you on here, whats up??

-@crossroads-firecracker

"Oh hello there, Rocket." -> The deer doctor looked up from the book he was reading, he wasn't expecting any visitors. "Nothing much. Do you need something?"

[crossroads-firecracker]

"Nah."

Rocket shrugs.

"Just saw you and wanted to say hi! It's boring. My pa is....uh, sleeping in late." They play with their hands, looking up.

[the-deer-doctor]

"He's old. It's good he's getting his rest." -> He slips a bookmark into his book before closing it up, tucking it under his arm. "Can't say there's much interesting to do over here. Sword's out right now."

[crossroads-firecracker]

"He's been having some breathing problems recently, too, so. . . I'm sure that helps!" Rocket laughs but it dies down fairly quickly. "Yeah."

They rock on their heels. "Do you, uh - know when he'll be back? Sword, I mean."

[the-deer-doctor]

"If he's having problems then I can come check on him. I don't have much work when it comes to the holidays." -> He adjusts his little monocle. "I'm unsure. He went to go visit his father."

[crossroads-firecracker]

"If you want. I mean, there's not really anything to do if he keeps his smoking up." Rocket kicks at nothing on the floor. "But your choice!"

Then they nod. "Oh, okay. Thanks."

[the-deer-doctor]

"I'll take a look at him next time I see him in Crossroads. I've already had to look at him several times in the past." -> He crosses his arms over his chest. He... He wasn't used to talking to Rocket without Sword. "Did you want to come over to our place? It's cooler inside there. Lost Temple isn't as bad during the winter as it is the summertime, but it's still hot out here."

[crossroads-firecracker]

"Okay, then. Thanks, I ... I appreciate it, and I'm sure he does, too." Rocket nods.

"Uh..sure! I can't be home too late, though!"

[the-deer-doctor]

"Of course. I know your father would be worried about you. He seems quite concerned with your safety." -> He adjusts his monocle once more and turns on his heels, making a "come here" motion as he started to walk off towards his and Sword's house, which luckily wasn't too far away. "Been busy. So I haven't been in phights recently. Anything new happening?"

[crossroads-firecracker]

Rocket stumbles along to him, hands still clasped together.

"Oh, definitely! He's always worried I'm gonna lose my other limbs." They grin.

"Uh..nothing much! Just the usual. It's been kinda busy for other people, too, though, so phights are either hectic or chill. No inbetween."

[the-deer-doctor]

"I worry you'll lose your other limbs too... I'm surprised you haven't by now with how reckless you are.' -> He pulls out his keys, sticking the teeth into the door and leading Rocket inside of his and Sword's shared house. "Please, take off your shoes." -> The doctor did just that, leaving them on some little carpet beside the door before moving further in. "Hectic or chill... Makes perfect sense. I can only imagine things get worse when Subspace or Banhammer are around."

[crossroads-firecracker]

"I'm not that reckless!" They protest. "Pa's even been helping me with my aim."

Rocket takes off their shoes and puts them next to Medkit's.

"Yeah. Scythe's been pretty active in phights and she's always crazy around Subspace and Banhammer! There was a round when the two of them were on her team and....it didn't go too well. Teamwork wasn't really working."

Rocket exhales. "Uh...do you do anything for the holidays?"

[the-deer-doctor]

"Scythe loves antagonizing Banhammer." -> He sighs, shaking his head. "I wouldn't be shocked if she pesters both of them purely for the fun of it. I've seen how she acts around demons like them..." -> He heads off into the kitchen, most likely to get some food for the two of them. "Lost Temple isn't.... Big on the holidays. Yes, we celebrate them and whatnot, but it's not something I personally do myself. I only do so because Sword always seems so excited for Christmas. Would rather not crush his spirit."

[crossroads-firecracker]

"She's brave for it, I guess! Or crazy." Rocket smiles and shrugs, hands falling to their sides.

"And yeah, he's been talking about it! I don't know what to get him." Rocket sighs. "It's...really soon."

[the-deer-doctor]

-> The deer hums and pulls out a soda, sliding it over to the blue demon before starting to make himself a pot of coffee. Medkit always kept soda around the house for Sword and Rocket. "You could get him something bird themed. He also enjoys a lot of things that involve adventuring. Maybe you could get him something to help out in that regard." -> He spoke while making himself coffee. It was muscle memory for him at this rate. "Or you could take him out somewhere. I'm sure he'd love to have his best friend hang out with him for the holidays."

[crossroads-firecracker]

Rocket thanks him with a nod.

"Yeah, I was thinking we could go, like...iceskating or something? And then I could make him....something bird related." Rocket sighs and takes a sip.

[the-deer-doctor]

"I hope neither of you plan on getting injured while ice skating. Lore knows how much you two end up hurting yourselves on a normal basis..." -> Playful. He was trying to joke, leaning on the kitchen counter while waiting for his coffee to brew up. "You should have your little present ready beforehand, Rocket. I've seen how you and Sword get when you're together."

[crossroads-firecracker]

"I'll probably fall." Rocket replies bluntly.

They take another sip. "What do you mean?" They tilt their head, eyes down on their can and a faint blush coating their face.

[the-deer-doctor]

"You two look like a couple is what I mean, Rocket." -> He states bluntly, arms crossed over his chest. "It's almost awkward being around the two of you sometimes. Granted, it could just be me reading the room wrong. But I sense romantic tension between the two of you."

[crossroads-firecracker]

"No!" Rocket protests, sitting up straight. "I mean-" They wave a hand. "I mean. He probably doesn't like me back, so..." Rocket sighs.

"Is it really that obvious?"

[the-deer-doctor]

"It's very obvious." -> He turns and pours himself a fresh cup of coffee, humming to himself as he took a sip before turning back to the other demon. "I say you go for it. Whether or not it turns out in your favor, I know Sword will still love and care about you."

[crossroads-firecracker]

"Do you think he likes me back?" Rocket flusters, stumbling over their words.

"I mean, I don't want to ask if - if there's not really a chance," They add.

[the-deer-doctor]

"I feel there's a pretty big chance he does, yes. He never shuts up about you in all honesty." -> Another sip of his coffee. Dark, smooth and warm, just how he likes it. "I know he talks a lot about myself and Venomshank as well. But the way he talks about you is different."

[mechanidae]

"Oh," Is all Rocket replies.

[the-deer-doctor]

"I say go for it." -> Another sip of his coffee, his single eye trained on the blue demon in front of him. "Get him alone and confess."

[crossroads-firecracker]

"Maybe." Rocket finishes their soda and there's a small smile tugging on their mouth. "Thanks, Medkit."

[the-deer-doctor]

"Of course. My uses are far and wide, Rocket. I'm not just a healer." -> He chuckles a little, a rare smile on his face. Medkit normally never smiled... "And I say you have nothing to lose from trying. Sword will always love you, whether it be platonic or romantic."

[crossroads-firecracker]

Rocket exhales and looks around for a recycle to toss the soda can.

"Thanks again, Medkit. I should get going home for Pa, but I really appreciate you letting me stay over for a bit."

[the-deer-doctor]

"You're always welcome here, Rocket. Don't get hurt while you're heading back home. Tell your father I'll be over at some point to check up on him." "Happy holidays, you troublemaker."

[crossroads-firecracker]

Rocket slips their shoes back on and opens the door, casting one look back.

"I'll make sure."

A smile and they're off.

[the-deer-doctor]

merry chrizzmas Meds! wish you a happy new fein as well

-> He rolls his eye, going back to reading his newspaper and drinking his coffee. Gods, young people langage.