The Faculty

A collection of BD/sM minds, coming together to share knowledge and perspective on the BD/sM community. We encourage Asks from anyone! 1-Sadistic-Lover An amalgam of hopeless romantic and sadistic bastard. Spoiled-lil-kitten 24/7 TPE. Poly. Queer. Submissive and chaotic little. Over the moon for @1-sadistic-lover. Empoweredsubmissive Submissive, kinda little, empowered feminine OneLittleKingdom Wise old owl. Nurturing Daddy. Patient scribe. Empathetic Soul. Heels12345 Aussie poly female switch ItsAllPrimal Makes Smart Asses and Asses Smarter A Submissive View Older submissive, unabashedly alpha, always learning, loves Jello.

[the-faculty]

Someone from my local scene makes me very uncomfortable, despite many no’s. There are things said or happened that, taken independently, are ok but combined, I think make him a predator. I’m vocal w/ leaders in the scene & they recommend a direct message setting boundaries. I don’t want him to contact me & I’ve blocked him. I fear he will gaslight me when I send that even if I knew what to say. What should I say to set a boundary scene leaders can see & enforce?

Hey there

Rather than making it a list of reasons why (Which would potentially give him that opportunity to gaslight) I would recommend simplifying it to revoking personal consent.

By this I mean, in a message rather than in person - you could write out that for personal reasons, you withdraw consent for interaction from this individual. Then wish them the best, and reblock.

Be sure to screenshot/forward this message so that you can show the leaders of your local group the clarity of your consent/lack thereof. If he approaches you again in person, he is directly violating your clear limits.

This puts the leaders in a valid position to take action against this member of the group, for the safety of yourself and others.

Consent violators don’t get second chances.

All the best,

💠Kitten💠

[the-faculty]

I am sorry to bother you with this question. I am a fairly new submissive. I had been vetting potential Dom's. Chatted with one for weeks, he said he had been in the lifestyle for years Do to his job being extremely busy. He asked me to go on a holding pattern. He said its a term used. I have not heard from him in weeks. I just wanted to see if this was a term used in the bdsm community and I should be patient or if I have been ghosted. Thank you all very much for your time.

Hi anon - I’ so sorry you’ve come across a psuedo-dom, but write this guy out of your life and don’t let him back in. Extremely busy for weeks at a time means “I don’t want to talk to you.“ Unless he’s an undercover CIA agent or is working on the ‘rona vaccine right now, no one is so busy that they can’t make time for someone that is important to them. And there is no such term as “holding pattern” in the BDSM community. D/s is a relationship first so don’t settle for anything less (unless you’re looking for an occasional play partner). You did great to suspect something is off here and now you know for next time. Keep up the great work with vetting and you’ll find your partner! ~asubmissiveview

[the-faculty]

Hello. I have a bit, uh, maybe strange question for girls. Kinda awkward, as I'm a girl myslef, and a virgin. So, how do you know you had an orgasm? That you cummed? ...I just have a feeling that what I experience are not orgasms, but very powerful edging and a need to piss, sometimes. Then I stop and it stops, save for the need to pee. Just, how is cumming supposed to feel like? How does an orgasm feel like? I'm a little lost here (and yes, I'm 18+)...

For me, I’m one of those lucky women who can have multiple orgasms, I occasionally gush, I have had wonderful orgasms from a guy who knew just the right things to do to my feet….. and I can even orgasm on command in certain circumstances. However I know not every woman goes through the same experiences, and my body today is very different than it was back when I was your age.

Hopefully the links below will help and good luck with exploring the wonderful range of sensations your body can give you.

https://www.bustle.com/articles/121326-6-things-to-know-if-youve-never-had-an-orgasm

https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/sex/how-to-tell-having-orgasm/1990967

Heels 👠👠

[the-faculty]

Is there such thing as "online sub frenzy"?

There are definitely too many girls who find our community, and in discovering it all, rush into online relationships and give away their submission too easily. The answer to your question is most certainly “Yes”. 

JD@1LK

[the-faculty]

Do you know of any positions similar to kneeling for individuals with bad knees? The only thing I have been able to come up with is sitting on a yoga ball.

144 here. Here’s the thing: kneeling is just a “signifier.” The two people can put their heads together and come up with pretty much any equivalent, as long as it has the same meaning for them. I have a Follower who is in a wheelchair. She places her hands in her lap, lowers her head, and raises her eyes to make eye contact with her Dom. She is “kneeling” every bit as much as those absurdly limber young models you see on your dash who glide to their knees with effortless ease.

[the-faculty]

My now ex-dom (my choice) says I’m not a true sub because I didn’t want to do the things he thought I should. I’m heartbroken... ready to just give up...

Unfortunately that’s the typical immature response to someone who can’t stick to a negotiated dynamic and respect hard limits. Guilt tripping to try to get your way is low.

Use this as a learning experience for screening questions for future possible Dominants. If their knee jerk reaction is to call their ex’s fake subs - walk away, because they’ll only repeat the pattern with you.

Finding the right partner who can lead you into exploring yourself and pushing soft limits (while respecting hard ones) can be difficult. However when you find them - you’ll know what it really feels like to be able to fully trust someone with your submission.

Good luck with finding a better partner in the future.

Heels 👠👠

[the-faculty]

Hello, is there a way for people who are still active to sound off? My feed has been dead and dry for a while. I miss seeing shenanigans, love, thoughts, small debates, exchanging ideas in my feed. Please if anyone is still active, please sound off!

asubmissiveview here - I'm still here! Unfortunately, I don't have a status update on any of the other faculty members. I know some have moved on. I've been thinking about going through some old faculty posts and reviving them though - I recall some great insights being shared. Let me know if that's something ya'll might want.

[the-faculty]

All I'd like to say is thank you.

These past couple of years have been hectic, to say the least. And I'm glad that some people still are here to help others in their journey.

I do miss the old Tumblr and all the blogs that have now since been deactivated, deleted, or just people have stopped posting. But we all move on somehow.

Thank you guys/gals for still being here.

Thank you so much, @invisible-ginger! We truly appreciate your kind words. :)

[the-faculty]

Is this still being monitored?

I'm here! I'm not sure how many of the rest of the team are though. ~asubmissiveview

[the-faculty]

Did DWPreturns shut down or get re named?

Not a clue.

[the-faculty]

Hii it's the munch anon, I'm from Portugal, thank you for the help!! :)

OK, anyone out there in Portugal have any pointers to munches, demos, etc, places where Anon can get into the local community?

[the-faculty]

Hiii it's the munch anon again :) I did try findamunch.com but the most recent munches in europe there date back to 2020 and the latest I can find in my country is 2019 :/ maybe I'm doing something wrong? I'm not sure where else to look

Let us know what country you're in, maybe folks here might know of more current get togethers.

[the-faculty]

Hellooo I've been thinking of joining the local bdsm community, but I have no experience in bdsm at all :/ I was wondering if it would be okay to join simply to learn, and meat other people who share my insterests before actually starting to play?

Also I know the best way to join is to go to munches, but I'm not sure how to find them (location and date), I've searched online and gotten nothing... any advice please?

144 here. Have you looked at findamunch.com?

[the-faculty]

Thank you for your insight, instructor and community. This is the sub who had the gaslighting/wank-fodder “dom.” Any tips on mental recovery for heartbroken subs are greatly appreciated. I’m young, recently moved and don’t have much community in the area. This was my first “dom.”

144 here. i'll invite everyone to chime in, but look under the #unowned tag over on my @instructor144 blog, especially for "Structure and Self Care for Unowned Submissives" and "Tips for Healing."

[the-faculty]

My relationship with my dom is complicated: we were often living in different parts of the country but kept in touch. The dynamic began with a focus on the romantic and sexual, and he reassured me over time of his interest. He asked to be involved with every sexual encounter I had, including any meetings with the individuals involved. I committed to him. Now he claims he was never interested in a relationship and denies the romantic history. He claims we’ve just been casual friends. I’m crushed.

144 here. He's either gaslighting you, or he has some significant mental health issues. Or, another possibility, he's been using you as wank-fodder and telling you what you wanted to hear to keep you coming back for more. Regardless of which it is, gou need to walk away from this toxic person.

[the-faculty]

Hello! I’ve been doing long distance with my dom for a year. Our contact consists of texting wherein 1) he asks about my prior sexual experiences and sexual likes/dislikes as a sub and 2) he orders me to show myself via pics and to keep sending pics until he comes. After, he tells me to come on my own. when I don’t send photos quickly enough (I can be slow) he tells me he’s losing his erection. I asked him for photos of him; he hasn’t sent. I know him IRL but just feel down and under appreciated

You feel under appreciated because you are under appreciated. Here's the truth of the thing, Anon: to him, you are wank-fodder. That's it. He's not a Dom, and you're not in a relationship with him. He wants to get off, you feed his masturbation by sending nudes, he nuts, and it's "hasta la vista, baby." If you understand that you deserve more than that, then you need to kick this onanistic fuckboy to the curb with the swiftness.

[the-faculty]

I just wanted to say hello to all. I've been off of Tumblr for a bit but I have missed all you pervs (My old blog: daddyssweete, lost access to it 😞) I have wondered places online but the community here is wonderful. You the faculty thank you for your perspective, knowledgeable info and commitment to the community. I've missed you all! Glad to be here

Welcome back, we're glad you were able to find your way back to this eclectic corner of Tumblr Town.