ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP YOU SORRY PACK OF SPONGEHUFFERS. IT’S THAT TIME AGAIN - THE TIME TO STOP FONDLING YOUR FUCKING SHAMEGLOBES AND WHINING ABOUT WHY YOUR TWO FAVORITE WHITE MIDDLE-TO-UPPER CLASS CISGENDERED MALES WON’T KISS - IT’S TIME TO GET FUCKING ANGRY.
SO YOU MAY HAVE SEEN THAT POST GOING AROUND ABOUT HOW MARVEL AND DC ARE BOTH DUDEBROS BUT AT LEAST MARVEL IS TRYING SOMEWHAT TO BE LESS AWFUL, AND DC IS JUST REVELING IN ITS OWN FRATBOY AWFULNESS. YOU MAY HAVE AGREED WITH THAT POST BUT WONDERED WHAT EXACTLY IT WAS ABOUT. AMONG OTHER THINGS, INCLUDING NOT FUCKING ALLOWING THE BATWOMAN CREATIVE TEAM TO SHOW THEIR CANONICALLY LESBIAN CHARACTER GETTING MARRIED, THE ABOVE IS WHAT ALL THIS ANGER IS ABOUT.
YES, YOU READ THAT HEADLINE CORRECTLY. NO, THOUGH YOU AND I BOTH DESPERATELY WISH WITH THE POWER OF A THOUSAND DESPERATELY FLAGELLATING FAIRY CORPSES FOR IT TO BE SO, THE HEADLINE IS NOT IN ANY WAY AN EXAGGERATION.
THE BRILLIANT SPANGLEDANGLING GENIUSES OVER AT DC DECIDED THAT THEY WANTED SOME MORE PUBLICITY FOR THEIR UPCOMING NEW SERIES, AND DECIDED TO DO THAT BY OPENING UP A SLOT ON THE CREATIVE TEAM TO THAT MOST SELECTIVE OF POOLS - THE INTERNET. AFTER ALL, IT’S ONLY A FEMALE-LED COMIC ANYWAY - GOTTA SAVE THE BIG GUNS LIKE ORSON SCOTT CARD FOR SUPERMAN, AMIRITE?
SO, IT’S PRETTY FUCKING SIMPLE - ALL YOU GOTTA DO IT DRAW HARLEY QUINN ATTEMPTING TO COMMIT SUICIDE 3 AND A HALF TIMES (THE ONE WITH THE WHAL IS SOMEWHAT AMBIGUOUS), THE LAST OF WHICH IS WHILE SHE IS NAKED, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, SEXUALIZING THE DEATH OF A WOMAN IS SOOOOO COOL AND HIP AND TRENDY.
BUT WHAT IF YOU FIND IT MORALLY OBJECTIONABLE TO MAKE A CONTEST OVER WHO CAN DRAW THE BEST WOMAN IN THE REFRIGERATOR MOMENT, AND WOULD RATHER BE KNOWN FOR DRAWING A KOOKY, HAPPY-GO-LUCKY CHARACTER WITH SOME RATHER IMPACTFUL EMOTIONAL DEPTH TO HER AT TIMES ENGAGED IN ACTIVITIES OTHER THAN SEXILY TRYING TO KILL HERSELF, RIGHT DURING NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION WEEK?
WELL THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TRYING TO GET A JOB AT DC?!
NOT ONLY IS THIS URINE-SOAKED GREASE-ADDLED FUCKWADDLING EXCUSE FOR A CONTEST OFFENSIVELY MISOGYNISTIC AND NOT ONLY CONTINUES BUT SHINES A FUCKING SPOTLIGHT BRIGHTER THAN THE ORGASM OF TWO HYPERGIANT STARS ENGAGED IN SEXUAL RELATIONS SO KINKY THAT IT MADE 4CHAN SAY “NOW THAT’S A BIT MUCH” ON THE CONTINUED CHILD-LIKE GLEE THE COMICS INDUSTRY HAS IN SHOWCASING THE DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, AND DEBASEMENT OF FEMALE CHARACTERS, BUT IT CONTINUES TO SET THE NORM AT DC THAT IF YOU WANT TO WORK THERE YOU HAVE TO BE DOWN WITH THIS FESTERING MALIGNANCY.
AND THAT’S KIND OF FUCKING TERRIBLE.
FORTUNATELY, AS USUAL, I HAVE SOMETHING YOU CAN FUCKING DO ABOUT IT! REMEMBER HOW I SAID THAT THIS WHOLE FUCKING TRAVESTY WAS A CONTEST? WELL THAT MEANS THAT YOU CAN DIRECTLY SUBMIT AN IMAGE TO DC IN RELATION TO THIS CONTEST.
IF YOU’VE BEEN ON THE INTERNET AS LONG AS I’VE HAD, THEN YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I’M THINKING. IT’S TIME FOR A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED SPAM WAR.
JUST CLICK RIGHT HERE, SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM, AND SUBMIT AN IMAGE OF YOUR CHOOSING.
YOU CAN LITERALLY SUBMIT ANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES, FROM A WELL-WORDED TAKE DOWN OF THEIR CURRENT POLICIES (REMEMBER TO PUT IT IN IMAGE FORM THOUGH) TO YOUR FAVORITE NIGHT VALE TENTACLE PORN. I HONESTLY DO NOT CARE, THOUGH THE MORE WE STAY ON MESSAGE THE MORE IT WILL BE CLEAR TO THEM THAT WE ARE ANGRY ABOUT SOMETHING AND NOT JUST SPAMMING THEM BECAUSE, WELL, INTERNET.
SO MAYBE OVERLAY “DC YOU ARE DUMB AND SUICIDE IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE OBJECTIFIED" OVER YOUR CECIL/CARLOS/EREN JAEGER TENTACLE PORN, I DON’T KNOW.
THIS IS A GOOD IMAGE TO GET YOU STARTED:
SO GO, KIDDOS, HAVE FUN, AND SPAM THE FLOPTWIDDLING HORSEMANGLING SPERMWAFFLING JELLOFLOCKING KOALAHUMPING DICKCUNTING HELL OUT OF THESE GUYS.
OH, AND IF YOU MAKE A PARTICULARLY AMUSING IMAGE TO SEND THEM, REBLOG THIS WITH THAT IMAGE, SO WE CAN ALL SHARE IN THE FUN!
LET’S NOT ONLY MAKE SOME FUCKING NOISE, PEOPLE - LET’S SPAM SOME ASSHOLES.
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