It's all smoke and mirrors

In the depths of my soul I was complete

[the-slightest-smile]

.

[the-slightest-smile]

Dear diary and past self. You made it where you dreamed of. You've made it to the medical field. You're not a vet like you thought, but this is pretty cool. Less stress, great pay. In a week in a half you'll be married to a man who you love and cherish so deeply and who constantly shows you how much h he feels all these things too. There's no uncertainty. You know how loved you are. And you know how much you love him. Getting married sounded so scary at first. But with him it is like better. Everything clicks. I am relaxed and warmed by what is to come. Then off to japan to explore for 2 weeks. What a splendid life. You did well. You're home now

[the-slightest-smile]

[thew33p1ngang3l]

Train scene

[the-slightest-smile]

And so the cycle repeats

Villainize victims, slave to a system

Collecting kindling for our kin

The fire we drop at your feet and we leave

Please don't cry for your daughters, Eve

[simzart]

[the-slightest-smile]

Here for the esthetic, stayed for the vibes. Can't play pool tho.

[the-slightest-smile]

Sometimes it's rather confusing missing parts of some one who didn't treat you very well. I know it's normal to miss loved ones I've had to cut off because it was overall not good for me to stick around. Knowing they'll never change in any way to actually be good for me.

That being said, I've spent the last year happier than i have in many years prior. I haven't even been taking anti depressants. I probably won't ever again. It was all my circumstances. All i was so naive to, all I stayed around, people i couldn't cut off because I knew nothing else. I only knew love with suffering combined. I had no idea, my whole life, what soft,gentle, kind love was. I thought if there was no strife, it wasn't love. At least, that was the experience for me. I have a job I love, a little house, and most importantly, people I love and trust surrounded. I rebuilt my life, a community, re discovered passions and interests. AND I'm still building. Always will be. I've learned who I am again. I can be messy in some Areas, while still upholding my responsibilities and, honestly, being a little messy outside of devoted structured time does make it easier for me to stay on track and devoted to things that Are important.

I do still wonder though, what everyone's been up to. And I miss some old friends of mine. Even if they were willing to turn against me without fully understanding what I had been enduring. True friends don't do that. But I still miss them.

[sustancy]

[love]

Heart-shaped lightning formed during a thunderstorm over France.

[simzart]

[unaliveish]

sadie

[simzart]

[simzart]

[titsay]

[remanence-of-love]

[remanence-of-love]