xoxo

basically one public diary about my life

[babysdevil-deactivated20210530]

i just wish my man was actually MY man

[the-tc-diaries]

GOooooDDD can he stop playing with me feelings?? one day he likes me and flirts with me and the next he’s so distant like MAKE UP YOUR MIND

[the-tc-diaries]

we made out for soO long today and then i fell asleep for 30 minutes and the whole time he just had his arms wrapped around me and was stroking my hair,,,,,,..... and we’re just friends hahahahahah

[the-tc-diaries]

tag yourself, i’m neutral bottom lmao

[the-tc-diaries]

i wanna get my kinda boyfriend / kinda just friends with benefits a cute gift. any ideas? i was thinking some more condoms lmaoooo.

[the-tc-diaries]

i feel like people are gonna send you hate no matter what because they are mean, but i’m proud of you!!! you’re doing amazing ❤️. don’t let anyone bring you down. i’m just happy you’re alive! much love xx

:“( thank you aw 💕💕💕❣️❣️❣️❣️

[the-tc-diaries]

what’s been going on (tw)

(tw in post)

heyyy guys. it’s been awhile since i’ve been active on this blog. some of you probably hate me lol, don't worry i hate myself too :)) here’s what's been happening in my life.

- when i made that post back in September, i was severely depressed and suicidal. i did’t want to be alive. everyday felt like a chore. i started to self harm a lot too. i started to distance myself from friends and family and just slept a lot.

- in the midst of depression, i was also in a relationship which on retrospective, was very, very toxic. i was being used and taken advantage of. i was treated so horribly and i’m glad i’m now out of it.

- my disordered eating habits relapsed too which are horrible so i felt physically weak and also mentally. it’s the hardest thing to look at yourself in the mirror and hate your appearance.

- my grades started to fall drastically in school and i had to stop this year of college because i literally couldn't go to class. i was so depressed. and i hated it.

- i’ve also been figuring out my sexuality  and my parents had a very hard time coming around with this. they would always make me feel so bad and they were embarrassed of me and threatened to kick me out, telling me i had to choose either my family or sexuality. (also i guess while we're here i’m bi lol!)

- i tried to kill myself, like i really almost did it. but i didn't. i got help in march. 

- ive been going to therapy and I've been exercising a lot and trying to eat healthy.

- i’m in no way recovered at all. i’m still depressed but not as ‘severely’ i guess. i’m stilly trying to be okay with myself. i still sometimes feel suicidal, but i have coping mechanisms like drawing instead of cutting myself. recovery isn't a liner line, some days are better than others. peoples experiences aren't the same either. i’m sorry for scaring some of you guys. i scared myself too. i love you allll. 

lol also i use this blog more as a personal diary so if you dont like that please fuck off : ) no time for hate on here. 

[the-tc-diaries]

Announcing your own suicide is disgusting and cruel to everyone who reads it. Honestly don't ever do that again, I hope you regret it at least. Really shocked you'd do such thing. Please get help and I for sure do not mean on the internet.

sorry i’m depressed ???? i literally did attempt it too, if you don’t like me then don’t follow my blog sweetie

[the-tc-diaries]

Damn I can only imagine you scared some people with that last post and then disappearing. I’m glad you’re doing better now and that you found someone. Would you mind talking about it? I’m sure a lot of people would love to read it

sure lol! i’ve def been thru a lot and if people wanna know i’ll tell them

[the-tc-diaries]

so i’ve been seeing this 37 year old man (i’m almost 19 so it’s legal and all) and holY fuck he’s so hot and so good at sex wow. older men really do it better

[the-tc-diaries]

hi guys

[the-tc-diaries]

tw

i think i might kill myself soon. i just don’t see the point in living when i have nothing to look forward to

[949520-deactivated20150611]

Tell me I’m cute or something so I can like roll my eyes at you but then blush when I think about it later

[october-wing]

Not taking any chances

[evienator]

I scrolled past this and the guilt was too much

[whatsmyusernameplzhelp]

cant afford to tae this chance. literally i cant afford to fail these classes and have to take them over again…

[potter23skater]

I didnt reblog this and I failed my history class.

[the-tc-diaries]

tw

.

i’ve been so sad recently and it’s been like everyday. i always cry myself to sleep and i hate waking up. like the only person i wake up for is my best friend but she’s away in college and she’s so busy all the time so i feel alone. i feel like i’m so exhausting. i feel so annoying everytime i talk to someone. i feel like people don’t mean anything they say, it’s all out of pity. i feel like i’m going to do nothing in my life. like my life is one big circle. i do the same thing and i hate it. i’ve literally stopped eating actual meals. i’ve started cutting too and it feels good but i’m worried i won’t be able to stop. it just feels good... i want to die so bad but i’m so scared of death too. i hate my mind so much. i feel so empty.

[the-tc-diaries]

WHEW it’s been a minute since i’ve been on here... i’m in college now. i don’t have any professer crush or anything because none of my professors are that cute :/ i saw m tho a few weeks ago! he looked sooo good and we said hi! at work one of my managers is SO HOT like wow, and he reminds me of m lololol so you already know i’m crushing

[anxiousbutconfident]

when lazy kissing gets intense with that deep breath and hip pull