Has it ever occurred to you that there is that one person who will try to defy everything you have believed in? A person who once opens his mouth says the weirdest, out-of-this world things but when you think of it, it makes sense?
You are the person my parents warned me about. Your very existence breaks all the rules my parents have set for me. Youâre all the things Iâm steering away from. But everything about you strips down every single lie I used to believeâabout society, humanity and the world itself.
How odd does it seem that when I first laid eyes on you, my brain warned me. For the life of my dear neurons, my damned brain did and honestly, until now my brain still does. Like the crooked things they say about people like you have been imprinted on me. Itâs screaming to me that you are wrong, your existence, our friendship but I have grown up to resent the idea of believing what most people believe in.
Do you know whatâs weird? Is that when I met you, itâs like I have to keep up and the world I knew is the smallest portion of the truth beyond. I canât stress how knowing you changed the way I see the world, the people around me and what I do with my life. Iâve come to terms with digging my way through conspiracy theories which maybe the kindergarten assignment version of what truths you know. Iâm in the small scale detective case of finding out the truth, the truths that I can find by myself.
You are crazy in so many ways and I cannot put into words how much. You always have questions in your mind. Youâre full of it and you search endlessly for the truth that you know will always come around. You always like being one step ahead of everything. A plan you plot by yourself and execute at your own perfect time. You and that curious mind of yours never cease to make me wonder and look at the world differently from what I see or know of. Itâs like having another lens on a camera that allows you to see through things that cannot be seen by the naked eyeâthings that can go undetected if not checked twice or thrice.
You have so much to say that sometimes, my mind goes blank. I hear you but I donât process the words that come out of your mouth. I try to understand but I end up just hearing your voice. And your voice leaves a comforting feeling that I know you care so much. Caring that hurts so much to make you feel so many thingsâvulnerable, helpless and trappedâor maybe itâs just how I feel about what you share. I sometimes think this is a cry of help but I scratch that idea off. Youâve been through things I do not know. Youâve seen and heard things, you did things, you went there, beyond and back. And I canât say too much of things I donât know of.
You are like the dark skies covered with stars. You have parts of peopleâs stories in you together with your own story. When you learn things, you keep it and it shines through like stars glistening into the night.
You hover around people that interest you, that tickles your mind, makes you question things. You, ever so curious would tease people because you like testing people out and they, on the other hand are like playmates running away from you and this world is your playground.
I can write so many sentences with your name along with the word scare for you are intimidating and you scare me. Not you physically, but to your mindâs extent. Itâs like I know things but those are basic things for you. Compare general knowledge with confidential files, thatâs how it feels but I want to unravel more of your thoughts and dive into things that makes you feel alive. I want to know the questions even though I wonât have any answer for it. I like to hear those thoughts; I want to understand where it comes from even if somehow, it wonât be necessary to do so. I just want to know you even more.
I know you asked for this, a written essay of what I think of you and really, this is the hardest essay I have ever written in my life. Iâve written so much that I lost count on how much of those were about love, friendship or tragic mishaps in between, this maybe an essay that will immortalize you in my existence.
