I can no longer stay silent.
I always feel bad for venting out loud, whether it be publicly or to my Twitter circle (which I have been doing a lot lately, and Iām sorry if itās been distressing (ā¦my point exactly)). But things have not been ok, nor have shown any significant chances of getting better anytime soon. I know Iām gonna be beating myself up later for posting this, but Iām sick and tired and I canāt stay quiet. Iām desperate for change.
For those who donāt know, Winterās family (and job) has been severely mentally and emotionally abusing her, and itās not just because of her gender identity. Theyāve threatened and harassed her over her showing any negative emotions, her body, her interests, the food she eats, you name it. Granted, itās not my tale to tell, but it has been BAD as of late for her, and it definitely has affected me. I might be going through some similar stuff with my dad, but heās nothing compared to them.
Speaking of, for those who donāt know about my dad, heās a slightly better version of Winterās parents; a well-intended asshole but still an asshole. He has caused me to question my sanity and safety several times, and he refuses to acknowledge my anxiety as anything serious, and believes itās something I can easily control and/or an act I put on. Heās been trying to pull me into college even though Iāve told him several times that I donāt want to, and heās told me several times that if I donāt follow his advice then Iām only gonna end up nowhere. He certainly doesnāt believe anything regarding Winterās situation either, and views it all with rose-tinted glasses.Ā
He also demands to know my entire schedule for the week, that I laugh at his jokes or smile when I donāt want to; and he even touches my shoulders and back without my consent, and heāll get mad when I express my discomfort. I was dreading having to move back in with him because I knew this would all be happening, only for it to be so much worse. I donāt even feel comfortable recording when heās home because Iām afraid of him yelling and/or making fun of me. And yet, itās funny and sad how heās an absolute saint compared to Winterās family.
Winter and I have been breaking our backs trying to save up for a new home, but our jobs have been cruel to us on top of our families. Weāre being overworked and underpaid, and a good chunk of our paychecks goes towards food and travel expenses. And while weāve been trying our best to push our comms, weāre still a far way from freedom.
I donāt ever want to come off as a beggar for money, attention, etc., and I feel anxious whenever I boost my comms because of that, and yet I also feel like thatās exactly what Iām doing here. But I need to be transparent with you all about my and Winterās situation. I am truly afraid that one of might truly snap, with the little remaining of our sanity vanishing in an instant. Tbh I feel like that person is more likely to be me than her.Ā
Regardless, Iām unsure of what else to do right now other than to keep boosting commissions and whatnot (and I might make a Ko-Fi goal too, idk), but I want to keep finding affective (and healthy) ways to spread awareness of our situation and help bring us a few steps closer to where we want to be.
I know Iāve said that I feel like Iām waiting for a miracle that wonāt come, but maybe you all could help us bring that miracle to life. Thank you all for taking time out of your day to read this and support us.
I will be attaching links to my comms and Ko-Fi, as well as Winterās. If you have any questions or would like to consider commissioning us, feel free to DM or Email either of us.
TLDR: Winter and I are being abused. We're desperate to leave our perspective toxic environments, and we need some extra help.
My Commissions | My Ko-Fi | Winter's Commissions | Winter's Ko-Fi
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