Iâve never wanted to go against the grain in life as much as I do now
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@theambitiouswoman
Iâve never wanted to go against the grain in life as much as I do now
Recently, I gave a friend some advice about their new income project, which was to remove the word âworkâ from your vocabulary. I did it a while ago and I genuinely think it changes the way you approach what youâre building
We associate the word work with obligation. Something we have to do. Deadlines, pressure, stress, exhaustion, difficulty, Monday mornings, waiting for the weekend. Before we even begin, our brain already has an entire emotional meaning attached to the word
But think about how differently you feel when you say you get to spend a few hours on your hobby, your idea, or your creative project. Thereâs curiosity, play, excitement, possibility. And when that creative project also happens to make you money, your brain starts associating income with those emotions instead
Youâve probably noticed I rarely say anymore âIâm working.â I say Iâm making cute things, building things, creating something, playing with an idea, or figuring something out. It sounds small, but language shapes perception. And perception shapes how you show up
If youâre building something of your own, especially something creative, stop mentally turning it into a job before it ever has the chance to feel like freedom
Healthy ambition is building the life you love while becoming the person you are meant to be
Okay guys I think weâre in the clear now. Had to go back to the hospital, but everythingâs looking stable now đ
This year has kicked my butt honestly. I took a few days to really get back to myself and mindset to where I feel like myself lol Ideas are pouring back in, so I think my little intense program is working
But really so many ideas and so much to finish đ
What a rollercoaster
Weekend book đłđ
This book is about how stress affects your brain and body and shows why chronic stress can contribute to anxiety, poor sleep, weight gain, illness etc. The book also explains the science behind stress and how understanding it can help you build a healthier life
People will tell you something canât be done because that opportunity didnât exist before, there is new information now from what they know, or they themselves simply canât
They mistake their own limits for reality
Every industry changes. Technology changes. Markets change. The way people make money, build businesses and create opportunities changes. What wasnât possible ten years ago might be common today. Five years ago. One year ago. Six months ago even
Sometimes it has nothing to do with whatâs actually possible. People project their own experiences and beliefs onto you. If they canât imagine doing it, they assume no one can
With new opportunities come new realities. Every shift in technology, culture, or the economy changes what's possible. It changes the skills that matter, the careers that exist, the ways people build wealth, the lives they're able to create
The people who thrive are the ones who are willing to let go of outdated beliefs and adapt to new information. Every new opportunity asks you to become someone different. To think differently, learn differently and act differently
If you're still making decisions based on yesterday's reality, you'll miss tomorrow's opportunities
People are way too obsessed with thinking everything needs to be hard or a struggle. But when it comes time to doing the hard thing, they don't want to follow through
I was on a walk with someone recently, and we had agreed on a step goal before we started. Near the end they said, âItâs only a few more steps. The circle in the app is almost close letâs stopâ
I replied âNope, we finish those few steps until itâs closedâ
Thatâs what discipline actually looks like
We confused difficulty with progress. We romanticize the grind & wear burnout like a badge of honor. We assume that if something feels easy, it must not be worthwhile. You wonât rewire your mindset, which in turn will give you different results by chasing harder. You do it by thinking differently, showing up consistently, and keeping the small promises you make to yourself
The hard part isnât working 18 hr days (though yes, exhausting for sure!). The hard part is finishing what you said you were going to do, especially when itâs easier to stop. Itâs being consistent when no one is watching. Itâs doing the boring work over and over again. Itâs staying disciplined when motivation disappears. Itâs having uncomfortable conversations, admitting youâre wrong, starting before you feel ready, and continuing long after the excitement wears off. The hard part is the battle with yourself
Discipline isnât built through huge acts of willpower. Itâs built in small moments where no one would blame you for quitting, but you choose to follow through anyway
People donât actually want hard. They want the idea of hard because it sounds impressive. But real growth is usually quiet, repetitive and almost too simple to notice. The people who get the results arenât the ones chasing the hardest path. Theyâre the ones who keep showing up, finish the last few steps, and let those small promises compound over time. Complaining about how hard the thing is, isnât impressive. Trying and doing is
Originally I wanted to focus on a hobby & interest every month this year and had curriculums set up for each
So I hadâŠ
Art - painting
Music- piano
Food & culinary culture
Architecture & Interior Design
Wine appreciation
Coffee appreciation
Farming
Flowers & floral design
Calligraphy & handwriting
Fashion history & textiles
Ancient history
Craftsmanship
Culture, travel & language
And I made curriculums like this for example:
Back in action
Goals are lifestyle changes
Since we live in a world where we can't always follow ideals, it's easy to feel stuck. Money is a huge stressor for most people, and many are doing the best they can in situations they never would have chosen. It's hard to think about purpose, healing, or becoming your best self when you're just trying to make it through the week
So how do you get out of survival? You don't do it by pretending your problems don't exist. You do it by creating enough stability that your nervous system no longer has to treat every day like an emergency
Healthy ambition isn't chasing success to prove your worth. It's using ambition to build freedom, and options. It's earning enough that you can breathe, setting boundaries because you have choices, and creating a life where you're no longer making every decision from fear
You don't need to have your dream life overnight. You just need to move from surviving to stabilizing, from stabilizing to growing, and from growing to creating. That's how people slowly stop living in survival and start building a life they're actually excited to wake up to
What does that actually look like?
- Learning a skill that increases your income instead of relying on one paycheck forever
- Creating a second source of income so one setback doesn't feel like a catastrophe
- Taking care of your health now instead of waiting until your body forces you to
- Building routines that reduce stress instead of creating more of it
- Spending less than you earn, even if it's only by a little
- Investing in yourself through books, courses, or experiences that expand your opportunities
- Surrounding yourself with people who encourage growth instead of keeping you stuck
- Learning to regulate your nervous system so not every challenge feels like a threat
None of these things are glamorous. But together they slowly teach your brain that you're safe. Learning to change the way you think is so important. Someone can tell you what to do step by step. But if you donât incorporate a new way of thinking, you will continue to fall into the same cycles, even the toxic ones. I see this on a constant basis. We need to break up with the bad habits and thoughts in order to think a new way. Once you stop operating from survival, your ambition stops being about escaping your life and starts being about creating one you genuinely love
One of the biggest shifts is realizing that the way you've always made money isn't the only way to make money. Every new year that passes breeds new opportunities and ways to make money. New tools, easier tools. I canât say this enough we have to learn to embrace change. Call yourself out when youâre thinking âNo I canâtâ âThis canât be doneâ. These self imposed limitations are built on survival you guys
Learn new skills. Explore industries you've never considered. Understand how businesses work. Learn about investing, AI, sales, content creation, real estate, or whatever expands your options. The more ways you know how to create value, the less trapped you'll feel by any one job or paycheck
The shift is a mindset shift
You stop asking, "How do I survive this month?" and start asking, "How do I build a life where survival isn't my default?"
Healthy ambition isn't about chasing more for the sake of more. It's about creating enough freedom that your decisions are no longer driven by fear, but by possibility
Little things I would probably make you start doing daily if you were my close personal bfffffffff
Daily walks either in the AM or after meals
Morning Sun/grounding
Whole foods
Red light at night
Hobbies
Deciding your values and sticking to them
Learning something new/read
Grooming/skincare
Strength training atleast once a week
Donât be so hard on yourself if you mess up or want that cheat meal, for example. Own your decisions just donât make them a habit
Cut off toxic people
Create a mood board for your desired reality and look at it as much as possible
Subliminals at night
Journaling
Water with lemon before coffee in the AM
No phone for first 15-30 mins
Will change your life
I notice everyone around me starts automatically doing these things probably cause they see me doing it. But I will tell you those have been the easiest I have seen them adopt and itâs really helped them
A lot of people don't let themselves be wrong or learn anything new. The moment something challenges what they already believe, they get defensive instead of curious. Being wrong is how you grow but itâs perceived as a threat when youâre looking at things from survival. Every belief you have today exists because at some point you realized your old one was incomplete. If you're never willing to question yourself, you stop evolving. The smartest people aren't the ones who are always right. They're the ones who are willing to change their minds when they're presented with better or event new information, no matter how impossible it sounds, no matter what they were taught decades ago, and no matter what society currently believes
Success doesnât heal insecurity. Success canât heal a wound that was never caused by a lack of achievement. If your ambition is rooted in self rejection no amount of success will ever feel like enough. Healthy ambition begins when your drive comes from self respect instead. You still want more, but youâre no longer chasing success to prove your value. Youâre building because you believe youâre already worthy of building something great
When I lose the weight, Iâll feel confident
When I make more money, Iâll feel secure
When my business grows, Iâll finally relax
When they choose me, Iâll finally feel worthy
The problem is that insecurity isnât created by a lack of success. Itâs created by what you believe success means about you. If your nervous system has learned that your worth depends on achievement, youâll never actually arrive. Every milestone becomes the new baseline. Instead of feeling fulfilled, you move the goalpost again. This is why some of the most successful people are still anxious, perfectionistic, and constantly chasing the next accomplishment. Theyâre trying to solve an emotional problem with external achievements.
Healthy ambition says things like
I want more because Iâm curious about whatâs possible
I want to build something meaningful
I enjoy growing
I love challenging myself
The irony is that people who feel secure often accomplish more. Theyâre willing to take risks because failure doesnât define them. They can rest without guilt because their worth isnât tied to productivity. They stay consistent because theyâre building from self respect instead of self rejection
The most successful people fail more than they win. But failing, like a lot of other things looks different to a person whoâs operating in survival. When your nervous system believes failure threatens your worth, your safety, or your identity, every setback feels like proof that you should stop. To someone who feels secure, failure is information. To someone in survival, failure feels like rejection. The difference isnât talent itâs what your brain believes failure means
Success can improve your life. It can buy freedom, opportunities, and experiences. But it cannot give you an identity. If you donât believe youâre enough before success, youâll likely spend your success trying to earn a feeling it was never designed to provide. This is another example of why intelligence isnât required to succeed
Success is rarely just about how much you know. More often, itâs shaped by your relationship with uncertainty, consistency, and yourself
Life hack: Free up mental space by getting rid of easy decisions. Your brain has a limited amount of decision making energy each day. The more you spend it on small things like what to wear, what to eat, when to work out, the less you have for the decisions that actually matter. Create routines. Plan your meals. Wear the same few outfits. Automate what you can
The fewer unnecessary decisions you make, the more mental energy you have for the ones that move your life forward