If it happened at all, it happened like that

Scatterbrain. Bi. She/Her. Certified Grown Up™. This is not a consistent blog. AO3: BeautifulSoup Runner of many sideblogs: @stedebonntits / @speakingskies

[asmrgaret]

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

[asmrgaret]

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

[pisces-core]

[packs-pngs]

[peachrunes]

[teashoesandhair]

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

[sleepy-bebby]

[parkchanwoohoo]

[orcboxer]

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[tokkibean]

reader: i love how (detail added on a whim) foreshadows (scene that isnt related) youre a GENIUS

me: yes. of course. i absolutely meant to do that.

[have-you-been-here]

A wedding you were not invited to, Anywhere

Have you been here?

I have been here

I have not been here

Remaining time: 5 days 21 hours

[have-you-been-here]

Murano Street Student Village, Glasgow, Scotland

Have you been here?

I have been here

I have not been here

Remaining time: 6 days 15 hours

[ganondorf]

i think this captures the defining pathology of the collective social media psyche right now. we are in the thrall of people who are wantonly cruel but who also demand to be coddled at all times in every way

[fidget-sinner]

En Anglais, on ne dit pas “quatre vingt dix neuf”, on dit “ninety nine” qu'on pourrait traduire comme “Hurr durr, regardez mois, j'ai un système de numérotation fonctionnel” et je crois que c'est magnifique.

[softichill]

I think abt this tiktok all the time

[thesadcyborg9million]

Diversity hire bryson ur absolutely slaying

[doggosource]

[k-eke]

Do not fear.

[piccop]

[dinovelvet]