Don't make life about stuff.

[love]

[real-retail-stories]

[PLEASE KEEP ANONYMOUS BC I DON’T WANT TO BE FIRED]

I’m a bra fitter in the UK. Won’t name the store, but it’s one that’s internationally popular so occasionally we get people from abroad coming in to bulk-buy English bras because they fit better and are cheaper.

A few months ago a German woman, who didn’t speak any English, came in for a fitting with her two daughters to translate for her. What she didn’t know was that I speak near-fluent German because I used to work in Bochum as a primary school teacher.

I fitted her for an hour (she wanted a LOT) and she slagged me off the whole time - “she doesn’t know what she’s doing / she’s so young– have they given me an intern? I want a professional / I won’t take fashion advice from a girl that heavy / she’s not using european sizing, is she stupid” - and her daughters translated VERY favourably, both of them clearly quite uncomfortable with the situation.

I put on a brave face for the whole thing, pretending not to notice, and then as I was putting in her customer info (we keep a record of all our customers) one of the daughters complimented me for pronouncing their surname correctly.

I said thanks, and casually dropped into conversation - in perfect German - that I used to live in Germany and spoke the language.

Watching all the colour drain from that woman’s face as she realised what just happened, and seeing her two daughters quietly lose their collective shit behind her, was pretty glorious. Almost made it worth it.

[394938347342-deactivated2014092]

imagine having sex with a ghost and then someone walks into your room and they see your asshole widening and narrowing for no reason

[pussyjizz-blog]

imagine praying to God and going to church

[abilify-deleted-deactivated2017]

if you wake up while McDonald’s is still serving breakfast then you’re doing good

[homophu-deactivated20180101]

doesnt mcdonalds have all day breakfast now?

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

if you wake up at all then you’re doing good

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

me when i go 5 minutes without posting about thicc shorties

[blueklectic]

Nigga shut the hell up

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

me trying to shut the hell up about thicc shorties

[arewetumbling]

1st Grade Teacher: The Natives taught us to grow crops and we all had thanksgiving! 


6th Grade: we might have kicked the Natives off their land, and for that we are so sorry.


Me: but did you mur-


Teacher: you’ll learn that in high school


12th grade: We killed that one Native and we are so sorry, but the BUFFALOS, WE WERE DICKS FOR THAT!!


College: It was genocide.

[achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily]

this…is accurate

[nerdgul]

All higher education is is unteaching you lies they taught you in the mandatory section of education.

[feetdavidson]

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

[feetdavidson]

this same idiot: what kind of animal is the pink panther

me, already taking off my clothes: benjamin you’re so fucking stupid

[sick-intentions]

I just wanna be the girl of someone’s dreams ya know

[skzhhssh-deactivated20190330]

*gets in an uber* hi yeah i know i said i wanted to go somewhere but im actually just going through a hard time rn can you put on some fleetwood mac and take me through a carwash

[diespulchra-deactivated20210519]

[xjessr]

ATTENTION ALL GIRLS: Being a ride or die means staying by a man’s side whether he has $500 or $5. Not when he cheats 10 times and you stay.

[taraljc]

“Ride or Die” also means that if he ever hits you, he dies, and you call your bff for a ride.

[firebirdeternal]

Loyalty through hardship is one thing, loyalty through cruelty is another. 

[clotpolesonly]

Loyalty through hardship is one thing, loyalty through cruelty is another.

[witchbum]

i’d like to formally call myself out on being such a needy and emotionally confusing person

[mygeekself]

[mytimeisnevertoday]

#actors who are actually their character

the greatest casting ever.

Even better when you think about how Dan got a place for himself in NY to continue his career, Emma went to a school in USA, and Rupert bought a fucking ice cream truck.

[coconutcoconutcoconut]

Follow your dreams Rupert

[kethera]

I didn’t know this. So I looked it up and - HE ACTUALLY DID.

[mandycreates-deactivated2020100]

‘I keep my van well stocked. It’s got a proper machine that dispenses Mr Whippy ice cream and I buy my lollies wholesale – 50 for a tenner – so I never run short. I’m not allowed to sell my merchandise. I’d need a licence for that. ‘I tend to avoid July and August, but the rest of the year I’ll drive around the local villages and if I see some kids looking like they’re in need of ice creams, I’ll pull over and dish them out for free. They’ll say, “Ain’t you Ron Weasley?” And I’ll say, “It’s strange, I get asked that a lot.”

It makes it even better that he just GIVES the icecream away. [Source]

[headcanonsandmore]

And this is one of the many reasons why Rupert Grint is my favourite golden trio actor. What a guy…

[ttayw-wyatt-deactivated20200928]

Guy: So tell me what your kinks are!

Girl: i love it when a guy hangs me from the ceiling fan with a belt and turns it on high speed as you watch my lifeless body helicopter around the room.

Guy: uhh….

[lev-myszkin]

my friend just texted me “it’s not acceptable that trump feels good about himself and you don’t” and i think it’s the most motivational thing i’ve ever read

[kylejengman]

Something straight out of a fairy tale book

[wolverineheight]

hey controversial opinion but clean water should be fucking free and people should never be allowed to make money off of it because its fucking needed to live