Tomarry & Drarry Shitposts

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[theboywizard]

Harry: should we?

Tom: kill Dumbledore? Yes-!

Harry: No!

Harry: well yes, but I meant should we go home

Tom: oh

Tom, disappointed: sure

[theboywizard]

Tom: Do you not love me

Harry, hogging the popcorn: I do, I just love caramelised popcorn more

[theboywizard]

Draco: Harry?

Ball of blankets: *sneezes*

Draco: ah

Draco: would you like a hug?

Ball of blankets: *nods*

[theboywizard]

Draco: don't

Harry:

Draco: stop it

Harry:

Harry: dragon

Draco: I should never have let you have tea with my mother

[theboywizard]

Tom: why can't we be friends?

Harry: you keep killing people

[theboywizard]

Tom: whats this fuzzy feeling? Is it love?

Harry: it could be, or it could be crookshanks purring on your chest

[theboywizard]

Draco: maybe shes born with it

Harry: maybe it would be rude to ask

[theboywizard]

Harry: can we?

Tom: no

Harry: you don't even know what I was gonna ask!

Tom: you were going to ask if we could see what happen if we placed an engorgement charm on a pygmy puff

Harry:

Harry, quietly: yeah

[theboywizard]

Harry: all my best work is done on three hours sleep

Draco, gently guiding him to bed: it really isn't

[theboywizard]

Tom: are you okay? You seem...on edge

Harry, vibrating: I have video game boss battle music stuck in my head I feel like I'm gonna lose it

[theboywizard]

Draco: theres nothing more cruel

Draco, watching Harry eat a cheese and jam sandwich: I'm being cursed

[theboywizard]

Draco: I forgot to study for the exams!

Harry: don't worry, voldemort will show up any day now so they'll get cancelled

[theboywizard]

Tom: I love winter; cold, bitter, miserable. Just how I like it

Harry: that makes you a psychopath evem without the murder

[theboywizard]

Draco, dramatically: I can't trust anyone

Harry: not even me?

Draco: god no, you pour milk before ceral

[theboywizard]

Tom: are you good at anything?

Harry: I'm good at being bad at stuff

Harry: and disarming charms that will break your face if you insult me again

[theboywizard]

Harry, fake horrified: oh no theres only one bed. Looks like we'll have to share

Draco: I can conjure anothe-

Harry, emphasising: looks like we'll have to share!

[theboywizard]

Tom: trust me

Harry, shocked: Trust you?!

Harry, casual: sure why not, not like you've tried to kill me before or anything