I got a new tattoo recently. It’s in my own Arabic handwriting and reads جهاد النفس “jihad al-nafs” - which can be translated to ‘the struggle of the self.’
I chose this tattoo as a reminder to myself. A reminder to always keep struggling against my temptations, my addictions, my ego, my arrogance - anything that hinders my spiritual, emotional, and psychological growth.
The word جهاد “jihad” doesn’t simply portray a struggle for something, but a struggle for something for the sake of God. Many people hear “jihad” and immediately have a negative reaction. But jihad isn’t about war and fighting in battle, rather it’s about controlling and improving yourself. There’s a reason that jihad of battle is known as “the lesser jihad” in Islam, while the jihad of the self is known as “the greater jihad.” How can one go out to fight in the path of God when they’re still fighting against the temptations of the heart? Jihad means so much more than the English word “struggle” can convey.
—-
I’ve been struggling with my faith lately, teetering between Islam and Agnosticism/Deism. (There’s a lot that goes into it, perhaps better left for another post.) And even though this phrase “jihad al-nafs” has a very Islamic connotation, it can also stand alone from organized religion. Whether I’m a Muslim, Jew, Christian, Buddhist, Agnostic, etc, I should always be trying to better myself, to improve my character, and to build upon the foundation of my integrity.
—-
Last weekend I was out with some non-Muslim friends and a non-practicing Arab-Muslim acquaintance was also there with us, drinking alcohol and smoking (to be clear, I don’t smoke or drink but I hang out with friends who do sometimes). The Arab guy and I got into a discussion that eventually led to the topic of tattoos, and on a whim I unbuttoned my sleeve and showed him my tattoo.
He leaned over and read it, reacting almost immediately. It took him by such surprise and I saw him at a loss for words. Eventually he just looked down and said, “wow, that’s.. that’s deep. Jihad an-nafs..” I told him that when I showed my non-Muslim friends and told them the meaning they just thought it was cool. And he said to me, “They don’t really understand. I’m Muslim and I’m Arab. I love my religion..” the conversation went on with him reflecting on his actions over the past few years and his loss of religiousity. He used to pray, never drink. His sisters and mothers wear hijab and his brothers are also practicing Muslims. But he doesn’t know what happened, how he got to this point. He told me how he hates how some shayukh use their power in ways that are not Islamic and he hates people who claim “jihad” when really they are just terrorists. He can’t stand sectarianism and the violence hatred breeds in the muslim world.
I wonder if “what happened” to him was simply a response to mistreatment of Islam and wanting (subconsciously?) to disassociate himself from that negativity. After our discussion he sat in silence for a few moments and I saw his eyes tear up (maybe it was just the smoke and alcohol though). He told me he was ashamed of himself.
When I got this tattoo, it was meant to be purely a reminder to myself. I never anticipated the effect it could have on someone else - for me to permanently mark myself with these words: جهاد النفس jihad al-nafs - the struggle of the self in the path of righteousness/self-improvement/God.
izzy806
kianamaiart
prguitarman
titsay
janainaart
blakekathryn
tangentwithtanner
