The B.S. Report Report

Bill Simmons of ESPN does The B.S. Report, I do the The B.S. Report Report. Reviews of columns, podcasts and tweets posted daily.

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In Part 2, Bill Simmons and Patton Oswalt break down movie character archetypes and continue to discuss movie remakes.

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In Part 1, Bill Simmons and Patton Oswalt discuss book tours, how Twitter has changed the world, movies that shouldn't be remade and much more.

Patton is admittedly one of my favorite comics, so I'll spend a little extra time on this and throw you some tidbits during the day.

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Deleted scene from The Association: Shaq compares his past title teams to the 2010-11 Celtics via @sportsguy33

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Banhammered!

A somber morning here at The B.S. Report Report.  We've angered @sportsguy33!

Ouch!  Perhaps this is all a mistake.  I'm not even following him?  That's the problem right there.  One click and this will all be over.

... and there's the banhammer!  Hopefully I'll get following privileges back soon, but until then, Twitter coverage just won't be as damn good.  All apologies, Tweeps.

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Deleted scene from Ep 2 "The Association" - Big Baby reacts to "Dunks of the Week" in his hotel. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkE5TlNfJa0

Simmons Tweet of the Day

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Simmons Tweet Watch: 16 hours and counting...

and it's all quiet on the @sportsguy33 front.  Let's just assume Rufus is getting one hell of a walk.  It's not like he could be working on a column or anything.

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The Peanut Gallery 1/18/11

- Priya Lopes at Vadvert gives props to ESPN's digital media monster that arose in 2010, noting The Sports Guy did his part in attracting 42 million downloads of The B.S. Report.

- Jared Wade at Eight Points, Nine Seconds tosses in a tweet from @sportsguy33 RE:Paul George in his recap of Blake Griffin's evisceration of the Pacers. 

- Brian at B.C. Interrupted wants to document the ongoing feud between Bill Simmons and Boston College, rekindled in the most recent picks column.  He's even dedicating a Tumblr (SimmonsVsBC) to the cause.  Welcome, B!

- TheMovieShlep does a fine (little) bit of blogging on the 30 for 30 series.  Once a fan of Bill, he no longer reads the regular column but enjoys his participation in the series, even suggesting that The Sports Guy needs his own documentary.  I'm in!

- Samuel Forlenza of Blog4lenza names his 12 personalities to follow on Twitter.  Guess who's number 4?

- tom, a poster on the Dave Dameshek Show Message Boards, is bummed that there aren't any sites out there to discuss Simmons content, dissing Sons of the Sports Guy in the process.  Come on down, man!

(The Peanut Gallery is a wrap up of Bill Simmons related content across the web)

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Shocking/sad/surreal moment in my fantasy hoops league today: @michaelmandt waived Brandon Roy to pick up... Greg Monroe. Wow. Just... wow.

Simmons Tweet of the Day

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Review: Mike Lombardi, Chad Millman, J-Bug.

Wow, that was erratic.  Did it feel like each analyst was on to talk about one set of next weeks games?  Lombardi couldn't get enough Jets-Steelers chat, but Millman kept bringing it back to the Pack.  Let's break it down:

Lombardi kicks it off with some consoling and Pats-Jets talk and has effusive praise for the Rex Ryan scheme on Sunday.  "No one was open!" he concedes, saying the Pats would have been well served sticking with one formation pre-snap and worries that Brady confused some of his young receivers.

When Bill asks him for a 2011-2012 "Wish List", Mike sees two main areas they could improve: pass rush and a true #1 receiver.  On the D-Line, in particular, he'd like to see New England go after a James Harrison-type disrupter, someone who can get to the quarterback.  On offense, he feels like the Jets took advantage of the fact they lack deep threats, and while it's not necessarily Brady's game, he needs that dimension in this offense.  He mentions Dez Bryant, who TSG points out was available in the previous draft.  Lombardi counters with two words: Devin McCourty.  Point goes to The Decade of Lombardi.

Even though he thinks Rodgers is "Houdini in the pocket with a rocket for an arm", Lombardi likes the Bears in this game, noting they matched up well in the regular season and Cutler is having a sneaky good year.  He also notes that a slow field helps nullify some of the speed that Green Bay displays on offense.

Most of the remainder is spent cutting down the Steelers' chances.  He thinks that the Ravens beat themselves with their own stale offense and the Jets should man-handle their decimated O-Line.  Lombardi's rule of thumb is that if you've lost your left tackle, you've lost your season (see Michael Oher in the previous round).  He's also concerned that Pittsburgh's young receivers have to come up big, not always the best situation in the playoffs.  Finally, Mike says you can't look at Sanchize's percentages to determine his success; look for his ability to make the big play.

Millman bored me half to death this week.  I'm not sure how they can get 30 minutes on lines every week and I don't care about great moments in gambling history.  The meat of this weeks pod: the Pack is now the public team still standing.  Who does Millman like?  Green Bay, of course!  The sharps are too.  So why is the AFC still favored to win?  He'll get back to us on that one.

A special surprise by J-Bug finishes off the week as Bill can't resist some commiseration with a fellow New Englander.  Bug says that the stadium died after Brady's first pick and never quite got back in it.  The vibe stayed "weird."  What we missed on T.V.?  The O-Line was getting destroyed.  Their D played like it was pissed off.  Who to root for from here on out?  A death cloud to hit the Steelers game or Green Bay.  Take your pick.

The J-Bug tirade at the end saves this as an average B.S. Report.  Thanks for the bleeps!  Three Gold Simmons.

Podcast available here.

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The Peanut Gallery 1/17/11

- BigBlueShoe of StampedeBlue has some nasty words for Bill over his theory that you need a strong QB to win in the NFL.  

Simmons also picked the Seahawks to beat the Bears. Yeah, he's kind of a flip-flopping idiot when it comes to providing intelligent football analysis.

Last season, you didn't see such bold anti-Manning talk from Simmons. Now that his Patriots and Tom Brady have 'choked' in the 2011 playoffs, we suspect the weak-willed intellectual coward will crawl back into whatever hole ESPN has dug for him.

- Charles Peach of Slam borrows TSG's idea of drafting two fantasy teammates who play the same position and counting them as an individual for stat purposes.  He suggests the Milwaukee Buck's forward pair of Drew Gooden and Ersan Ilyasova as Drewsan Goodyasova.  I'm not sure I'd own them, even as a two headed beast.

- Brandon Onda of MidwestSportsFans talks top 10 NFL nicknames and credits Simmons' Twitter feed for Peyton "The Avalanche" Hills (honorable mention).

- Joe Lazauskas of TheFasterTimes mentions "The Book of Basketball" in a satire piece that regards Gillette Stadium as the scariest place on Earth after a loss.

(The Peanut Gallery is a wrap up of Bill Simmons related content across the web)

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And like magic... part 2!  Review should be up by tonight.

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Quick Reaction: Cousin Sal and Aaron Schatz

Round 3 Mega Playoff Pod: Cousin Sal and Aaron Schatz

This wasn't as catatonic as Bill's tweet may have lead you to believe.  He actually seemed in decent spirits, telling Schatz "We just didn't play well, what do you want?"

Cousin Sal quotes a report from the Worldwide Leader that S Patrick Chung was responsible for calling the botched fake kick that is available here.  

Line guesses: the guys split this week.  PIT/NYJ: Sal guesses PIT-3, Bill guesses PIT -3.5, actual line is PIT -3.  GB/CHI: Sal guesses GB -4, Bill guesses GB -3, actual line is GB -3.  

Sal also had a rough week gambling, parlaying the CHI and NE moneyline.  Ouch.

This weeks "Voicemail from Bill":

"Cousin Sal, I just took Rufus for a long walk, traveled 75,000 miles in three and a half hours.  Terry Fox would have been proud of the progress we made.  

I don't know what to say, I'm devastated.  You root, and you root, and you root for something near and dear to your heart and you're positive of the outcome, and then this happens.

Jane Lynch wins the golden globe for best supporting actress over Sofia Vergara .  That's a travesty if I ever saw one!  Wha, wha, that's a laugher, a 37 on the unintentional comedy scale.  Sofia Vergara is hotter than a thermometer in the sun's ass. And until Glee covers Pearl Jam, too, I'm not watchin!  

Now excuse me while I go back to spooning with my boy Josh Freeman and finish off watching the Six Million Dollar Man fighting Big Foot on a loop.  Peace out!"

This week on Jimmy Kimmel Live: Randy Jackson, Don Rickles, Ryan Gosling, Kourtney Kardashian, and Terry Bradshaw.

Schatz's feeling on the conference championships: 55% in favor of GB, 60% in favor of PIT.  He thinks the Packers have a great pass defense but need to watch out for Chicago's TE's, an area they struggle in.  He also warns that the Jets will need a completely different game plan this week as Big Ben has the deep threats the Pats lacked.

Overall, a decent podcast that featured little rehashing of column/Twitter content.  Four Gold Simmons.

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Part one of the Round Three Mega Playoff Pod is up: Cousin Sal and Aaron Schatz.  Review to be posted this afternoon/evening.

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Simmons Playoff Picks: Goes 1-3

As always, home team in caps!

  STEELERS (-3) over Ravens

The Pick: Steelers 24, Ravens 16

  FALCONS (-2.5) over Packers

The Pick: Falcons 26, Packers 20

  PATRIOTS (-8.5) over Jets

The Pick: Patriots 34, Jets 17

  Seahawks (+10) over BEARS

The Pick: Seahawks 33, Bears 30

Well, at least he started the column hot.  B'more was in this contest 'til the end, but the Steelers cover in their 31-24 W.  

The Packers, however, demolish Atlanta (48-21), the Bears game is never as close as the score indicates (35-24) and the Jets shock my Pats (28-21).  Just a putrid week of picks by The Sports Guy.

This Week: 1-3

 Playoffs: 4-4

Overall Record: 135-122-5

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The Monday After...

Still waiting on Simmon's post-Pats "breakdown".  Should be Round 3 of the Cousin Sal/Lombardi/Schatz/Millman Mega Playoff Pod.  

Recent tweet: "Outcoached, outplayed, outeverything. Congrats to the Jets. Rufus and I are walking to Vancouver."