The Bug Jar Christmas Special
Tonight's game is Dungeon Season 2 (aka Fungeon 2, Electric Boogaloo), a procedurally generated sentient dungeon in DnD 5E. Each floor number is scaled to that party level. The central conceit is that you run the dungeon until the last party member dies, then you respawn with your experience for the run, and re-start from the beginning. While you're dead and waiting for the rest of your party to cark it, you sit in the observation lounge and watch the rest of the party flail about.
The party today:
Colin (me), an old half-elf farmer who became a wild mage when pulled to the dungeon and is also a paladin in service to 'Lady' Remi (Ecci's player's 'Team Mum' character in season 1 of the dungeon). Think "if Phil Harding from Time Team was a magic wielder".
Woodchop, the slightly evil Kenku wizard who is absolutely an arsehole.
Vincent, the copper dragonborn bard, who is somehow a nice person?
Impostu, spat out by the 'Stu the Kobold dispenser', who is (weirdly) a dragonborn.
Ecci, an Arrakokra (sulphur-crested cockatoo) fighter, who is aggressively Australian.
In this session:
We determined that this is a festival in honour of Chris, the motivating force of the universe.
We were fed a poisoned Chris-mas feast by an (even more) evil doppleganger of Woodchop.
Colin offended a budgie smuggler-wearing racist redneck, who gassed Colin with B.O.
Impostu tried to turn my character's corpse into an IED (on the basis that Grandpa's Hooch, which he'd been mainlining for the game thus far, would explode if exposed to fire) and... it eventually succeeded. Colin-go-boom ensued.
Colin broke Vincent (in the post-death observation lounge) when he realises that he and Colin come from the same world but separated by at least four thousand years.
We learnt that Riley, the Plucky Orphan that we've been hiding from the Dungeon, isn't actually an orphan - his dad showed up! His dad was then almost immediately dragged into the depths of the dungeon by a clawed hand in front of him. This led to a very deep in-character discussion with him about Found Family and intense in-character emotional responses to Riley's distress, and yeah I'm crying right now.
Quote of the session:
ImpoStu: "Can I tear Colin's shirt into rags and stuff them in his body's mouth?" Me: "YES! YES! PLEASE TURN COLIN INTO A MOLOTOV COCKTAIL!"