The Coffee Pimp

23 | minors dni & dont follow

[thecoffeepimp]

I’d like to apologize to all the egg yolks I’ve thrown in the trash so far y’all didnt deserve that

[thecoffeepimp]

Just realized this blog is 4 years old. Kinda sad.

[thecoffeepimp]

7 years now, everything sucks.

[colazeroenthusiast]

Going back in my notes app for the 5th time today and looking at my w3ight and c4l0rie counting logs like Dexter looking at his blood slides

Me asf

[thecoffeepimp]

Unpopular ed opinion

Almond milk tastes like liquid ass

[thecoffeepimp]

5 years later I retract my statement

[number1fagatron]

top weird girl canon events:

listening to Lana for the first time

7th grade winter break

being told you’re “an old soul” and “mature for your age”

hating your dad at one point

reading no longer human for the first time

obsessing over a girl you have no chance with

getting bullied by the “popular boys”

counting calories at 12

watching girl interrupted for the first time

feeling like a lost dog in friend groups

[capacity2]

The cure to anxiety is completing all the tasks you have to finish for the day early and doing them phenomenally and being physically perfect and on everyone’s good side preferably even their favorite.

[thecoffeepimp]

That's what I've been saying but my therapist just doesn't get it ugh

[angelsrestriict-deactivated2025]

STUPID BMI CALCULATOR KEEPS TELLING ME IM HEALTHY

[thecoffeepimp]

What the fuck was even the lesson we were supposed to learn from that “Ugly Duckling” story? Don’t worry if you are an ugly child because if you become good looking in the future people will accept you???

Don’t make fun of ugly people because they might become pretty later ?

What the fuck?

[thecoffeepimp]

Empty Diary Entry #1

Thing’s I’m Angry About (in my life)

Having tan skin

The reason I’m not happy with my skin tone (Eurasian living in Europe :/)

My weight

Being 10kg heavier than my gw

My weight

The fact that food has calories

German

My fucked up sleep shedule

Shit I went trough when I was a child

My weight

My neck hurts all the time

The fact smoking is bad for you

The fucking dishes

How long it takes to get a residence permit

None of my friends live in the same country

My weight

Weirdos online

The fucking dishes again

[tiny-vaierie]

how am i supposed to have an eating disorder and be a college student at the same time this is unfair

[skinscals]

Time will pass anyway.

Just a reminder.

[yms1]

what doesn't kill you makes you stay on tumblr for 13 years and counting

[lavanderpink-deactivated2025091]

How am I supposed to believe I’m worthy of love if I’ve had to beg for it my whole life?

[tamagotchikgs]

i am so deeply tired it feels like when ur a kid on the way home from a long road trip except there is no one 2 carry me to a soft warm bed its just me weakly climbing the stairs back to my empty room n laying in the pain n cold

[thewindaroundme]

they’re the sweetest

[thecoffeepimp]

I wonder if I could have been taller rn if I didn't 🌟ve myself in middle school

[5trawb3rry-m1lkk]

hate when i wanna drink some water but i literally just applied lip gloss

[thecoffeepimp]

Tried it with lipgloss that has red pepper extract and died.