life as we know it

Michael,27 insta:mikeynewblood Likes tattoos & other arts, writing/ poetry

[thedesignofmodernman]

I want to cry every day that I'm alive.

Strangled out, a man with broken pride.

But I'm thankful for the pain that still keeps me alive.

Beating a new breath in my lungs, regardless of the words still left unsung.

I return to the earth every sunrise and settle into my grave of anxiety by night.

A creature here put on display, despite my dismay, I'm viewed.

My vision blurry and left slightly a skewed, I trudge on.

Listening to the beating of my heart like a drum.

A solemn beat that keeps me in time.

I'm thankful to feel anything.

When I'm crying to just be alive.

[thedesignofmodernman]

Just breathe

You were the movement in the trees, the sunlight upon my bare knees, you are the dirt in my teeth. The silence I felt walking thru the leaves, every broken branch under my feet. Thanking breaths between summer streams, skipping rocks on broken memories, water rises slowly toward my sleep, all I can remember is to just breathe. Every fall it's taken from me, in vast shades of orange and green, oscillating my heart beat, gnashing flesh under wolves teeth, hungry as they feed. Can this be my dream to fall asleep under these trees?, who knows what will become of me. As I feel this slinece take hold of me, no longer loud are the falling of leaves, or the breaking of branches under my feet, as long as I just... breathe.

[thedesignofmodernman]

I saw your work on Fuck Yeah Tattoos and I want to say, I love the piece you did of the bat from "Anastasia."😍

Thank you so much! I rarely post any photos of my tattoo work here but I figured I'd submit some stuff the them and get my name out more, thank you so much for your support!

[thedesignofmodernman]

Ants

It's not like you can see these walls in my mind, past a eloquent sentence and hidden behind all the dark places, every situation, darker than the next. It's loud and uninviting, telling me story's that drift into nightmares making it uncomfortable in my skin, every honest word spoken twisted as it travels further into my mind. "Im here for you" sounds closer to "your alone here, no one cares". I know these things can't be true, but it doesn't keep them from shouting. I wish eyes could see inward, showing light on these inner thoughts, separating fact and fiction. Maybe I just need that comfort like a soft pillow to rest my weary head, find that rest my mind longs for. won't you come and gaze at these monuments in my mind and tell me they are just ant hills, water easily washes away thousands in an instant, leaving nothing but fertile land to rebuild. Come hold my hand as we wait for rain.

[thedesignofmodernman]

Locked

Backed out infectious, left, right, a constant stir, locked here in these nail beds I bit too close, attachment, detached, sink beneath my skin, these interactions I'm left with a turning glance, am I the hand that pulls you up, or a back sided credit to debit love, I feel like there is more space in the clouds, but my mind tells me it's crowded there, the deeper I push the quieter things become, I'm stranded but it feels the same, keep taking all the tiles so there is nothing left, but don't act like I'm the only key, locked out beside you is it a different space, I'm unguarded, standing to help this pace, but I can't speak when nothing is said, you can grab these torches others have lit, because I feel my flame is ruined when it's wet, don't stand in a shadow and tell me it's different, I call the dial but it rings a flat tone, so I'll bounce off these padded walls feeling in the one to blame, so if it's stopped is there still a trace, lead me by my hand but keep me in my place, I'm tired of staring the dark is too bright, correct me if I'm wrong, because I'm never right.

[thedesignofmodernman]

Side affects

Opening each small bottle to see what's left in side, this medication that never heals this sickness, this scar tissue is thick, I keep looking for the right words written on those white slips life hands out, I want to know my problem isn't a disease I can't cure, I just want my mind at ease, because these colors are too vivid, technicolor dreams hold me in my sleep, my feet faulted amongst these black and white ants that pace the face of my screen, my bottle rattles like a child's toy, there isn't much left I can hand out, but can care be given if I cry out, is a nurse hanging on by my bed side, or is this the comfort of a straight jacket tucking me in at night, padded walls like clouds I remember, when things were new.

[thedesignofmodernman]

Sigil

I can't be a man who isn't created of equal parts, all of the things disgusting and wretched, balanced by the good in which I strive to show, this skin is my vessel, long after my soul departs, this tapestry will exist amongst our physical world, so many will be lost in translation, caught in physical meaning, I'll wear my sins upon my skin, for I am not afraid, I am only man and that's all I can be, created ugly, but birthed a new

[thedesignofmodernman]

Cellar

To be trapped, locked behind this cellar door, my minds a prison, I keep begging for the key or my sentence to draw an end, where I no longer fear those people who keep me locked away, scribbles from an innocent man on walls no one will ever see, uneasy to read for he is uneasy himself, every letter is one he questions why he even writes down, and why he even waits, patiently, and worried, he may not carry those proper steps and fill in the lines, checked back to his place of darkness just his little hole, where he fights with his inner self, will his heart ever understand that he isn't just fighting his reflection, can he learn he still has humanity or has his prison become his hell, can I just hear the song birds call out, just one last song, beautifully.

[thedesignofmodernman]

Countless

Of all the things I'll do in my life, I'll continue to hold these sands in place, even tho it runs through my fingers as I stand still, but ever flowing decadence tunes my pace, I'm held close so I can't get away, times hands still moving forward, I just want to find my minute, my moment In time, where our hands over lap, our paths no longer divide behind these ticking black lines, because this time defines every movement we will make all our lives, I can't just be the fool standing there wondering where those countless minutes went, like the wind, come and goes, I want to be a constant, can I just stand out of that time zone, don't lock me away because of faults on time lines, I never meant to let this run out, interlock your gears into mine and we can be what keeps us going for all time.

[thedesignofmodernman]

Puzzle

I tell my self it's not so bad here, am I all alone, continue through, things aren't so bad here, I feel further and further away, can you still see me, or have I faded away, I'll just waste as I stand in place, the loss makes me feel ill never recover, I'll tell myself I'm not all alone here, will I find my place, just fit into me, like a puzzle we lost the pieces too long ago, I'm tired of all this empty space, I don't want to be on my own, with out the corners, picture perfect, fit into me

[thedesignofmodernman]

Sun

I am dry, break apart this earth she calls to me, under golden rays, peering out through greys and Blues, the soil left broken, reviewed to see what lies beneath, breath life in to me, with those soft slender hands, I come as a seed left to be planted, cradled and gently placed, a calming sleep while I rest here in the darkness, every day a reminder from the sun she is still sending her love, pulling to me to break my shell, rain down over me, and let me burst forth a new, I feel her warmth from above, the sun, gracing every part of my new beginning, gazing at grace and beauty, tied my roots down, forever is where I want to be, together stronger over time, never to feel fault, I'll let my pedals grow, keep shining and showing the way.

[thedesignofmodernman]

Speak

When talking isn’t enough, lost amongst the vastness, turning shapes into shadow, just another day trapped by letters, spiraling deep, into nothingness, that’s all that’s left of me, frantically trying to make sense of every stone, put me back into place, never speaking enough, I have no tongue to form thought, grasping at my throat, I’m lost here, wishing I could find a way, life keeps me here, suspended state of going no where, why am I no good, where is that light I can hide in, can there be a hand to lift me out, are we all in the same place, so loud we can’t hear, muffled words come to me with love, I can only hear my best is not enough, golden tongue that’s never used, sharp enough to slit my throat, if intelligence finds its way, things will get slower in time, come find me here, bring me back to when words mean something, I can’t keep placing monuments that never really begin, hands, down to bone, scraping up an answer, I’m barely flesh

[thedesignofmodernman]

Missing

There is a ghost of a boy, trapped on that carton, a face of a time where innocence was lost, bring me back home now, this black and white, an eloquent diversion, begging to be all that she embraces, speak those words so I know I’m not missing, just another flyer, an excerpt of soul, left here stapled, washed out and hung to dry, but never really gets clean, that black wash deep inside, I need to hear you scream, nothing is missing, have I found my way home, does that blinding scent drive my way, or will this life just be another day, missing.

[thedesignofmodernman]

Glass

Sneaking around your every word, grasping on to thoughts that were never heard, I'd like to think you can comprehend, but every time I speak you stand to fucking defend, those little shreds you want to pretend are part of the fabric of truth, but God knows I've tried to get through to you, I walk on glass, and you just fucking walk on me, writhing, I can't stand to see how anyone could be like you, morality and humanity, don't live inside of you, so what, I broke that thing you call a heart, but how can you break what was black from the start, you cut my throat instead of listening, this could have been easy, but you couldn't stand to look in the mirror, a victim of your own locked insecurities, always living in terror, I almost feel bad about the ones that you lost, but living like you do will come with a cost, no after thought in your mind, will you mend things with time, probably not, because you don't have a fucking spine, I hope the world for you glitters well, because I'm sure everything is bright in your hell.

[thedesignofmodernman]

Lanterns

Testaments And outlines, here all on my own, shadows of what I used to know, mirrors haunt my reflection, when will there be time for separation, I know there is time to recover, can you pick me up and guide my way, hold this light close, in the darkness I've lost my way, structures behind a false glass casket, will I ever be a key to pick up and carry on my way, I know recovery seems so far away, but if you take my hand, I know I'll find my way, don't let this hold me down, I know the sky will turn around, if you can be there in the clouds, like a light, don't burn out and fade away

[thedesignofmodernman]

Moth

As I float toward this flame closer, hues of orange and yellow, washed over me translucent beauty, pale as snow, warmth and darkness, wrapped with in these wings closer, drawing me to my hearts sleep, let this flame consume me, I'm just a moth pulled in by beauty, time subdues me, like those grays but greens, cold as stone, I'm frozen, deepened in this silent frame that locked chest is beating, longing for a new home, burned down, everything in side is rubble, if you can hold my hand and sift through the ashes I know we will find a foundation, let me know, in time I feel my heart will find its home

[thedesignofmodernman]

Soft, mixed in an emotion of color and white, a tiny breath of fresh air, everything I need is captured, kept on the crest of lips pressed into mine, I've been taken by hand but only closer to the heart then finger tips, distracted when I look thru her windows as if I'm a daydreamer, lost in sight and sound, she captures me, drawn in deeper wondering, is fortune made for a man traveling these dead seas?, to hear along the cost, her song just drawing me home, presence felt and time stands still, ever drawn to that beacon, pulling me in, on the edge of my seat waiting on that sonnet, bring my focus forward, draw me in, gladly will I be made of stone, and stand in this ever coming reflection of sent and silk, tie me together, I'll be yours forever