Da Red Zone

Making fantasy into reality since 1989!

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It’s time for me to go.

I kept this blog mainly so that I could let people know how I am, and have a point of contact if someone wondered what ever happened. It was maintained in order to soothe and appease. Also mebbeh a little for ego stroking every once-in-a-while.

So my life transitioned rapidly after I decided I knew the way I wanted it to go. The internet isn’t a huge part of it. I still use it for information and watching shows, but not so much for being social and living. I’m a very tactile person, and that’s just how things leaned when I was supported in being myself, without the pressure of peers.

I’m very happy. I keep telling people, I’m as happy as I can ever recall being. Yet, nothing slams me back down from the clouds like being reminded of how much of a fool I had been only a couple of years ago. I’ve made as much peace with it as I think I ever will, and while it is properly compartmentalized in the past, it still haunts me, here and only here. And it’s not people poking at me or being offensive. No, a lot of the times, it’s good people who had similarly terrible things happen to them. I want to help. I want to tell everybody that there is light at the end of the tunnel and to stay strong, grit dem teeth, but I feel like the amount of time which has passed, compared to the fact that the same shitty shit is still shitting, is becoming a tad too much for me to bear. I want to stop spending so much time thinking of the same things over and over. Life is short, and I’m starting to really get the sensation that I can’t spend a second longer of it bent over the pool of toxic waste that is what this place has become to me.

If you feel like you might have influenced me to do this, you can stop there and breaf. I’d always sort of intended to fade away under everyone’s noses. Most noses. If this idea sounds wholly horrific to you, then I’ll be checking back a few more times here to see if anyone may have asked to add me to skype, which is a concept I am open to so long as you actually intend to talk to me sometimes.

I hope you guys have a swell life. Make the right choices. Know what you want, and if you don’t, figure it out. Don’t be anybody’s idiot. Be a force for good in a world with still so much evil. Be a mountain among people, and nothing will ever shake your foundations.

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annemayfair:

What are your commission prices?

I dunno yet, ‘cause I dunno what it takes yet! But hey, super discounts galore for friends while I’m in my levels 1 - 20 crafting grind. I need every excuse to keep making shit, so I’ll probably just ask for you to pay however much the materials cost (which ought to be reasonable ‘cause I’ll be learning how to re-forge high carbon steel from scrapyard junk).

Once I hit levels 20-30, I might be able to start makin’ some fancy shit that I’ll have to take more money for in exchange for the sweat, tears, n blood-filled labor.

I’ll let errbuddeh know as soon as I know enough to take orders, and I’ll provide some examples of finished stuff so you know what you might be gettin’.

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Casey dun found herself a wise bladesmithing mentor who knows how to do damascus steel and wants to teach her. WOO-HOO!!!

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Twenty years or so later, and Turn Around by Harry Belafonte still makes me cry like a little bitch. Thanks, Ma.

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Just started playing SW: The Old Republic at Yylaria’s recommendation. I’ve never had a main that was damage-oriented before. It is as fun as advertised.

The immersive story has caused me to flesh her out as a character a little. Her name is Shang Zidan, and she’s an Cyborg Imperial Sniper who takes her job very seriously.

It’s been a really great game so far! I love the mechanics and phase system, and of course I’m a sucker for multiple dialogue options.

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I'm sorry if you've answered this before. I know you're not a big fan of video games, so I'm wondering what are you really into or passionate about!

To be frank, it’s time I answered this again. A lot has changed for me since the last time anybody asked questions. Ok! So here goes:

After much thought, I decided that I do enjoy games, generally speaking. I just don’t enjoy forcing myself to play things for the sake of others that I really never wanted to touch in the first place. I’m a little picky, being a fan of very specific genres. I was under a whole lot of pressure back in the day, so I can see how I had begun to associate my stress with games.

I like a lot of action/rpgs and crafting games. Turn-based strategy is also pretty fun to me. I admit to loving when I am considerably stronger than my npc enemy, so games that are as hard as Dark Souls is out. It’s not about shying away from the challenge so much as it is true that I enjoy myself most when I can relax in a game. I don’t enjoy the feelings of worry or whatever they say competition is these days. I know there must be something worth losing in order to feel a complete victory, but I’m ok if I lose something that took me several days to do. I am not ok with losing something that belonged to several other real people. I take being relied upon very seriously. Too seriously. It is also for this reason I tend to stay away from multiplayer games where I can’t solo the whole way through and still experience at least 90% of it.

Passion, tho. That’s still not games, to be sure. I think we all use games now as much as any other widely accepted form of entertainment, so people can do it and not have it be their thing.

I’ve had a little bit of trouble trying to put this into words. Basically, the entire deep fantasy genre is my hobby. It’s been the only persistent interest of mine since I can remember. When I was a wee tot, I had dragon posters all over my walls and played games like “castle siege” with dolls and action figures. This interest spans many mediums, from ancient history to modern science, from video games and movies to martial arts. One of the hardest challenges in my life, so far, has been to focus down on any facet of all of it that may lead to a career path.

A lot of stuff that falls into the scope of a sword n’ sorcery world is physical, so a lot of the stuff I like to do is physically demanding in some fashion. If it’s not physical, it’s generally somewhat philosophical or science-y. Yes, that’s very broad, but that’s what I mean when I say my interests kind of span a lot of shit. It ends up depending on what you can do with it, and if you can apply it to my situation, in which I wish to fashion my life into a realistic fantasy of sorts. You can totally make a fireball happen, or ride a horse to work, or build your own house, or make swords for a living, or go treasure-hunting on the weekends. Who the hell is stopping us? Why not take your life and turn it into what you want the most? If I want a dragon pet, I’ll work on learning herpetology so that I can keep a monitor or a tegu. It’s all within reach.

So, this is what I do with every waking moment. I get a little closer day by day in various ways. I’m hoping to go to school soon to learn about metal n’ how to manipulate it. Also in the area is an association dedicated to historically accurate weapon fighting that I intend to join. I also intend to meet like-minded people and maybe start a LARP group, in which we can all ride off into the Texas wilderness on horseback and pretend to be bandits, on the run from a bloodthirsty pirate lord.

I guess a lot of games aren’t enough for me, which is why I’ll never be as into them as many folks. I want something more tangible. I don’t feel like settling for how the world was when I got here. Nah. I feel like slicing out my own chunk. It’s going to take a lot of dedication, but the payoff will be one of those things that you can’t put into words.

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Just wanted to let peeps know that despite the flooding in Houston and the call for evacuation in some parts, Silver and I are on a hill and doin’ just fine. We’re fairly far away from any potentially threatened areas.

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A little something I’m working on that may or may not be finished-

Braccus Rex from Divinity: Original Sin, in the process of being rudely offended.

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I believe I post an unexaggerated approximation of 0.7% of the things I think about posting.

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Hey. If you were a D&D character, what would be your highest attribute? I’m just curious.

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If you like The Black Keys and “blues-pop”, you will appreciate this like I did!

Like most music, this is best enjoyed turnt up, with eyes closed and adequate wiggling space.

[ziegsden-deactivated20200629]

Phew!! So I think today will be the last day of my four day battle with food poisoning. I want to continue making my little models and get some vids up soon. I hope.

youtubes been flagging all my shit with copyright and it just… its not good. still I have some stuff planned for a semi comeback. now my moods stabilised a bit more.

America was fun as hell! Meeting red was surreal but it felt right, you know? After about a day it felt like id known her my whole life. Silvers a cool dude too. Completely chill and quiet and comes out with puns and jokes youd miss in passing except for that grin on his face. Good people the pair of them. I miss em.

Reds on my ff14 server now so more adventures!!

think thats about everything

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Yes, it was very surreal to hear your voice coming from a real person’s face after these many years, but it was also quite nice.

We’re glad it was everything you hoped it’d be. Your presence was a perpetually delightful interruption to our otherwise routine days, and you’ll always be welcome with us whenever you feel like takin’ a trip across the pond!

Oh, and I have to do Copperbell again. I fucked up and thought I got the quest for it after I unlocked it, but nope. Had one more asshat to talk to. =\

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The weather’s gonna be pretty interesting today, it seems.

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Once in a blue moon, I get the chance to be the one to “fangasm.” This time, it’s this guy, MichaelCthulu, who responded insightfully and kindly to my question of how he made the jump from welding for someone else to welding for himself.

He’s as genuinely entertaining as they come, in my opinion, for someone who makes ‘how it’s made’ vids. Check him out if you like massive swords and have an hour of boredom.

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Wedding Pics

Just obtained these over the weekend! As promised, ‘ere ye go.

T’was a very fine day.

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In this month’s installment of trying to figure out what to do with myself for the rest of my life: Blacksmithing!