Thee Archives Of Liv

People may not like it but say what you have to say and tell your story anyway.

[theearchivesofliv]

I genuinely don’t think anyone understands how challenging it is to be pinned down to the wishes, demands, and dreams others have for your life, your path, your direction, who and what you choose to live your life with or as.

This is an unfortunate reality that no one talks about because holding others accountable when they’ve hidden feelings and intentions puts you in a position to be judged for a truth they refuse to name. It also makes you vulnerable to being accused of things you were not aware of and they get to live their lives being free of guilt and shame when they are the root cause for your issues.

It’s also sad that they get to plan events for your future with no regard whatsoever for your labor.

I am tired and at this point in my life I don’t want anything, but freedom from the hopes of others regarding me without my consent.

This lived experience. This theme that has taken up too much space is the cause for my silence.

[theearchivesofliv]

The women who try to sabotage your reputation because you don’t want to deal with their sons need to be studied.

[theearchivesofliv]

It’s never made since to me how people can lie and continue to control a narrative about who you are and were. They will take one isolated incident and make it as if you lack maturity when they just don’t have the lens to see it the way you do. Their perspective and experience is based on their life and they assume your experience is the same when it’s not. This assumption comes from listening to false stories or a random incident that was taken out of context.

The craziest thing, however, is that they don’t have the capacity or the courage to go to the source. Also, they like the lie because it gives them ammunition to make false accusations and to have their jealousy and “feelings” be validated because they simply don’t like you and what you represent.

They’re so busy competing and comparing where you’re just growing and learning.

Like please, we’re not even of the same coin or caliber IN SPITE of the what may have took place.

& if you needed context why assume and not ask? That’s not intelligent at all.

[theearchivesofliv]

There are people that will never have access to me again. They will never get close to me. Never have the opportunity to talk to me. Spend time in my presence. Work with me. Date me. Or be friends with me ever again.

I genuinely don’t care about burning bridges because where were they when the fire needed to be put out ?

I’ll tell you where.

They were adding the fuel. Stirring the pot. Controlling the narrative. Choosing sides. Avoiding accountability. Making me responsible for their void. Lying. Hiding. Deceiving. Claiming things that were never theirs to claim.

When I close a door it’s closed permanently. God itself couldn’t make me change my mind.

Mark my words. They will all wish they were honest… about me. About themselves. About our history. About our connection. Even so they will wish they never had the audacity to try and steal from me or tell my story for me.

Yes, they will pay a great price.

Just wait and see.

[theearchivesofliv]

It is not someone else’s responsibility to acknowledge feelings you’ve had toward them especially when they’re unaware of those feelings and don’t even know you.

[theearchivesofliv]

To see the good in everyone…. What a flaw.

[theearchivesofliv]

I thought I had something to say but come to find out I don’t.

…Or I do I just can’t articulate what I’m experiencing in this moment.

[theearchivesofliv]

Some are so busy trying to avoid accountability that you become apart of their projections.

Story time!

I told someone something in confidence and they told someone else. That person feels guilty of something I never even accused them of so much so that they come to me to “reveal” something.

Now at the time I didn’t put two and two together but I felt that what they said should have been said amongst the three of us. So I OPENLY shared that.

The person begins to say I took what they said the wrong way when the context was clear. Unbeknownst to me they had already received my very personal information and began to project onto me as if I accused them.

Now many things are wrong with this but for the sake of keeping this post short… I’ll just focus on these key things.

1. I’ve learned that there is really no one you can trust. Which is isolating & traumatic.

2. people will take your story and try to change it or make it their own to avoid personal accountability for their actions.

3. so many people have so much guilt and shame from skeletons in their closet that they are constantly tormented and looking for someone to torment verses standing in their own truth.

4. People are always exposing themselves and using your kindness or softness towards them to force you into fairness and forgiveness when they don’t even respect your personal boundaries.

I am a firm believer in sharing stories but I believe even more that those stories should be shared BY THOSE WHOSE EXPERIENCE IT IS. Period.

People have such a worry and a panic because they have ignored their intuition down to needing proof even if that proof comes from exposing someone else.

I’m no idiot but the amount of manipulation I’ve endured should indeed be studied.

And honestly I had no idea that the people around me was everything but who I saw them to be or thought they were.

It’s even worse when you’ve already been on a path to releasing friendships and “family”, it’s just as bad.

Also, let’s be real if you had an inkling that someone violated someone in any kind of way why would you still choose to associate with them ? Be their friend ? Their business partner or co worker ? Their spouse or lover ?

Our intuition should be enough but due to the extreme amount of times having to suppress and ignore it, unfortunately it just can’t be.

[theearchivesofliv]

If your idea of maturity is settling and accepting mistreatment of any kind then you, my dear, need to do some deep self reflection.

[theearchivesofliv]

Just thinking about how seeing the good in others has been detrimental for me and how I have to go deep to pull myself from this cycle of giving light to others while receiving their darkness.

To give light and receive darkness is not the true nature of balance.

The true nature of balance is to integrate your own light and darkness to come into wholeness within yourself.

Again.

It is not to carry the residual burdens from others who can’t hold their own because they’ve done so much damage they have to outsource.

Again.

Boundaries are so important.

[theearchivesofliv]

I know what’s real, I know what’s true and I can’t hide from that.

[theearchivesofliv]

The truth is what guides outcomes, not confusion or lies. I recognize it fully, and I will act or respond from that clarity, no matter what

[theearchivesofliv]

Because when the wrong person is interpreting, the truth gets lost, and the outcome ends up being built on confusion instead of clarity.

[theearchivesofliv]

Quick question , how can someone who doesn’t have good comprehension skills be put in a position to make decisions that affect outcome… especially when those outcomes involve reading and interpreting themes ?

#makeitmakesense

[theearchivesofliv]

Yes there is some good there but you choose not to live from it.

[theearchivesofliv]

Balance is : I understand but you still have to be held accountable for your actions.

[theearchivesofliv]

Humility is the key to maintaining all that you’ve received.

But please for the life of me, do not tell me to be humble to appease your ego. Do not tell me that my increase is making me act different towards you. Especially when you’ve mistreated me, mishandled me, misunderstood me, and misrepresented me and you know you deserve to live the shift in my attitude.

Some people would’ve already felt this had they maintained consistency but when they choose to be loosely involved in your life they don’t see when you’ve made strides. They don’t see how you’ve grown or what you’ve overcome. Then they come around and expect to be treated “fairly”, when you’ve moved into the territory of increase with the expectation that you will remember them and be “humble”.. which in this context means “don’t forget about me or don’t get too confident now because I know you , because I was there and apart of breaking you”.

Yet they didn’t value you. Didn’t choose to navigate the journey of life with you. Chose to be opposition instead of guides. Chose to be frenemies instead of real friends. Chose to be enemies instead of allies and now that they see you have acquired all that was lost, taken and then some they want to appear and believe they are owed due to some early life proximity or failed relationships that they chose to abandon ?

It’s not even logical.