i'm not kidding. i'm literally dead

so it seems i died. literally. but hey, at least i still have wifi!

[theghostofpennymann-blog]

A Post From Kathy

Um. Hello. Its Kathy Terry.

I don’t know if anyone will see this, but Penny gave me her login details this morning and I managed to log on on my laptop.

She’s moved on.

Alice and Denise arrived earlier today with all the exams Penny took, and she passed all of them. When she got the results Penny drew a huge smiley face on the whiteboard and then...

Denise was looking intently at my bedroom door, and she just smiled. The room got a lot warmer suddenly, and she said she’d seen Penny fade out of existence.

So. Penny passed college, and now she’s gone.

My mum and dad will be getting home soon, and they won’t know about anything that’s happened. They won’t believe me if I tried to tell them.

I think I’m going to miss Penny. She kind of freaked me out when we first moved in, but she ended up being very nice. She was just sad.

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Alice will be over in an hour with the marked exam papers

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Me and Kathy sit up quite late some nights just talking. I mean I don’t sleep properly anyway, but Kathy doesn’t seem to mind being a bit tired the next morning to talk to me.

She asks me about when I was alive. I told her about my mum, and how my dad left and how I don’t know what my mum’s doing anymore. I told her about my friends at college and how we used to go to the cinema in town and then go to McDonalds after and then always miss the bus so we’d have to wait half an hour for another one. And how I used to eat way too many jellybeans and never spent enough time downstairs and probably watched too much tv.

And she told me how they moved because her parents didn’t like the area they used to live in and wanted her to grow up somewhere better. And how she wants to be a doctor when she’s older and is already planning what unis she wants to go to and how she really likes burgers but her parents never really buy them.

The results from the exams should be coming back tomorrow. If it works, and I move on, I think I might actually miss Kathy in the afterlife

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I have finished the exams

Alice took them off to Denise

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Three exams done two more to do

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Adventures in Moving On (Part 2)

Exam papers are here. Time to start writing some essays.

God I hope this works

Mainly ‘cause I don’t want to do all these for nothing

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Kathy got me some books from the library and is helping me with revision. I mean. She’s only thirteen, so college level work is a bit too much for her but. Its nice she’s trying to help.

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Revision sucks

That’s all I have to say on the matter

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Ok so here’s how its gonna go down:

Technically, I would have taken five exams at the end of this year; One for English, two for Sociology, and two for History.

In two weeks, Alice is going to bring over last years exam papers for those subjects. I’m gonna spend a couple days doing them, and then Alice will come over again and take them back to Denise. Denise will give them to someone she knows who marks exams. Then they come back over and tell me my results. If I’ve passed them, I’ve technically passed college, which means I’ve finished my business, which means I can move on.

That’s the hope, anyway

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I can’t believe its not finishing college.

Do you know the solution Denise came up with?

Take exams, get them marked, if I pass, I’ve technically passed college and can move on.

I have to take exams.

I’m dead. And I have to take exams.

ffs

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Adventures in Moving On

Ok let me clear this up for you:

Alice and Denise were over earlier.

Alice and Kathy sat on Kathy’s bed while Denise sat down on the floor and I sat opposite her.

And she.

It was so weird talking to someone who could actually SEE and HEAR me. Like. She looked right at me. Made eye contact. It was just a normal, proper conversation, but I haven’t had one of those in *months* and I think I actually forgot how to speak. I had to take a couple seconds before talking sometimes to remember how to form words or what words were the right ones to use. And keeping eye contact was really weird and almost difficult.

Anyway.

She asked me all these questions: my name, my age, when/how I died, what I was doing before I died and what I was planning to do when I got downstairs. I wrote down all the answers and then she asked me if I had any idea what my unfinished business was. And I said I have no clue.

She asked me what kind of things I’ve done as a ghost. I told her about the cat and about Clara and the psychic that must have helped her. I told her about the psychic boy that visited the house, and when the Terrys moved in, how I got angry at them for being in my house and how I tried to scare Kathy and then how I felt guilty when it worked.

She then asked me what my life plans were.

I told her I didn’t really have any.

She said anything. Anything I was working towards or hoping to accomplish, and I told her I didn’t know.

She thought for a while, and then she asked if I’d been at college

I said yeah

She asked if I’d been planning to finish

I said obviously

She then asked me if I’d considered not finishing college to be my unfinished business.

After a little while of me arguing that there’s no fucking way that it is, and her arguing that it seems the most likely I... well. I guess it must be.

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Not finishing college is my fucking Unfinished Business

Seriously. Are you fucking kidding me

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They’re coming over later today

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Kathy said Alice’s mum will try to help me. They’re coming over Friday. Its like a teacher training day so Kathy and Alice not at school but George and Alyssa will still be at work.

Alice’s mum is called Denise and apparently she’s a seasoned psychic.

I hope this goes well.

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A Conversation Between Kathy Terry and Penny Mann

Kathy (speaking obviously): So what do you think your unfinished buisness is?

Me (writing obviously): I don’t fucking know I didn’t really have any life goals TO be unfinished

Kathy: You know Alice’s mum is actually a fully fledged psychic, maybe she could help you?

Me: Maybe

Kathy: Like Alice just picks things up from her mum but I honestly don’t think she’s very good at it. They Ouija board failed

Me: Only cause I didn’t really care at that point. I just wanted to fuck with you

Kathy: I’m going around Alice’s tomorrow. I could ask her mum if she could help. You’re not very happy here. Moving on would be good.

Me: Maybe

Kathy: Well I’m not going to do it if you don’t want to

Me: Ok. Yeah. That would be good

Kathy: Awesome. I’ll let you know how it goes.

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Ok maybe I didn’t fuck up as badly as I thought.

Kathy came back upstairs after a couple hours and asked if I was still here.

There was still condensation on the window so I just wrote in ‘Yes’.

Kathy looked at the words forming out of nowhere (to her anyway), took a few deep breaths and then said she’d called Alice and spoken to her and calmed down and apologised for freaking out. I wrote ‘Its fine’. She asked if I was the girl who died here before her family moved in and I underlined Yes.

We kept talking and when room ran out on the window Kathy found a pen and a notepad. I told her about Clara and about psychics and about the research I did on ‘moving on’ (Kathy said she was going to change her laptop password) and we just spoke for a few hours. Or, well, she spoke and I wrote.

It was. Nice. To actually talk to someone face to face. Even if she couldn’t see me.

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Uh. I think I fucked up.

So I tried talking through condensation. 

I just wrote ‘Hi’ and then under that I wrote ‘My name is Penny’.

Kathy came upstairs after eating breakfast or whatever. She saw the writing.

And she freaked.

She just stared at it for a full minute, her eyes going wider and wider and wider and her face getting paler and paler and paler until she just. Squeaked. And slammed the door shut.

Ugh