mstiqued:
“what? no, of course not!” he exclaimed, rushing after jisung and kind of getting water everywhere but, that was the last thing he was worried about right now. he tucked a towel around his waist and caught up to jisung, grabbing his hand. “jisung. sunshine.” he whispered, leaning down and cupping the other’s cheek, “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to sound like i don’t believe you. i do, i swear, it’s just…i didn’t want you to be afraid. i promise, we will get through it together.” kijung sighed and leaned his forehead against his. “besides…no matter what you saw happen to me…” he smiled lightly, trying to give the boy he promised to protect any kind of reassurance. “you know that i’m not afraid to die.”
jisung watched him -- or his feet, how they moved with an uncharacteristic panic and urgency. this was a mistake, he thought. no matter how carefully he planned things out, lined all of his decisions and filled in his resolve, kijung always managed to find a crack in the wall and slip through. “that’s not really what i want to hear, you know,” he said honestly, quietly.
he looked up. the urge to brush the clinging strands of kijung’s hair from his face almost bested him.
“i wish you would be. i-- want you to worry about yourself. and take care of yourself.” he slumped slightly against the doorway, shaking his head. “we can’t ‘get through it together’ if you’re just ready to accept th- that, which is why i have to...” he trailed off miserably, burying his face in his hands and scrubbing at his eyes hard. “i shouldn’t have told you.” when he released himself, he pushed off of the doorway too, ducking under kijung’s arm.
anxiety rippled through him, threatening the calm he’d worked so hard to build in the last week. halfway across the room, he whirled around, demanding, “you can’t tell any of the others about this, especially daniel. we never had this conversation, okay?” any other time, he would’ve willingly put his life in kijung’s hands, closed his eyes and walked into the dark knowing the other would always be there, but this time. this time. jisung looked at him and pleaded, “promise me you won’t.”















