Therapy, Bad Decisions, and Scott

Black people, please raise your awareness of mental health in our community.  Always remember that you have PURPOSE in this world. ___________________________________________________________________ The best way I can express myself is to break it down three ways. Therapy (God) , Bad Decisions (Negative Energy I've experienced ) and Me (the human scale). You will also get to know me, what defines me as a man and learn what keeps me at peace. As I share myself with you, I hope you can at least take something  away from this blog and apply it to your life. -Scott P.

[thegrowthofascott]

Take Care of Yourself

The camera was on me over the weekend. I’ve been looking on the bright side of things lately and feeling great about the changes I’ve made. So, I just randomly did a shoot of myself and I must say that I clean up pretty good. It’s no secret that I have my moments of depression (if you’re new, boom you’re updated) and I put 100% into turning it around. I’m actively seeing a therapist, expressing my feelings in a healthier, staying creative and doing the things that I enjoy doing in my spare time. Its so important to take care of Y O U, I can’t stress it enough. There are no redo’s or extra lives in this game, we only have one shot. This is me fake modeling..but I’m happy.

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Still Here

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Don’t say my name in vain

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I never thought I would inspire anyone to do photography..sometimes I want to cry tears of joy because I remember stressing and being depressed about not being good enough.

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I’ve learned so much coming down to Atlanta and I met and shot the most powerful ppl in the industry. #a3cfestival has given me more confidence if anything. Own your shit, speak it into a existence and if the door is open..it’s already a success. Today I realized that I’m more happy with being a stage (concert) photographer. It dawned on me when Fxck niggaz were fighting in the crowd..I lost my favorite lens in the chaos..I was mad for only five mins, looked at my pictures..and I was happy as shit. Like DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG ITS BEEN SINCE I MOTHAFUCKIN SMILED FROM BEING PROUD..to all my young and hungry photo junkies...KEEP WORKING and GRINDING..don’t listen to anyone..keep GOD with you..and don’t doubt yourself. I have mad photos that I want to share but here’s a preview of just some of the shots.

FYI, I’ve now shot, Kendrick Lamar, Lil Wayne, Camron, Royce Da 59, Young M.A., Wu-Tang Clan, Trouble, Childish Major, J.I.D, Jeezy, And Talib Kweli, and Mannie Fresh. I’m speaking it into existence, I’m gonna shoot more festivals and Kendrick, Drake and Cole

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Bruh I’m gonna be a photographer at A3C Festival!!!

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Like seriously

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Love this Song

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[0gz]

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I'm talkin' fear, fear of losin' creativity I'm talkin' fear, fear of missin' out on you and me I'm talkin' fear, fear of losin' loyalty from pride 'cause my DNA won't let me involve in the light of God I'm talkin' fear, fear that my humbleness is gone I'm talkin' fear, fear that love ain't livin' here no more I'm talkin' fear, fear that it's wickedness or weakness Fear, whatever it is, both is distinctive

Kendrick Lamar

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God bless the woman who has to put up with me...

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For the gram

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Love vs Me -1

From the age of 18, I honestly thought I wasn’t lovable. I know people love me, but I didn’t feel like I was good enough for anyones love and care..Probably because I come from a broken family or I just felt completely empty inside. In addition, I always felt that if I got too close with people, I would end up being in a state of abandonment. I never had a girlfriend because I was use to being a loner and I lacked confidence in myself. When I started actually dating, it had to be around like 23-24. I remember this girl I dated back in 2015 that everyone told me to “be careful” with, almost made my life a living hell. We had a fall out coming back from a trip which led to us cussing one another out and her telling me “you will never get a girlfriend because you don’t know what love is” or some shit like that. After that, we went our separate ways. This year, she contacted me wanting to talk face to face..I thought I was being setup but when we linked up, she actually apologized to me...which surprised the hell out of me..

However, what she said lingered like everything else does inside my mind.  I am over-thinker, so I constantly make it complicated for myself to express my true feelings because I tend to think of the many responses I would get back from doing so. Thoughts like “oh damn, what if she doesn’t feel the same way I do”, “Am I doing too much” or “if I say this, is she gonna reject me” would just run wild inside my brain. In addition, I never really got over a heartbreak I had in the past. This was the only one I had in my lifetime. In college, I had it bad for this wonderful spirit. Like her energy would just give me damn butterflies. She was on my brain wave 24/7 and I always developed a euphoric sense of love when I saw her. The problem was that I really couldn’t translate the feeling into a serious conversation. Plus, low confidence strikes again because I was too busy comparing my life to everyone else instead of carving a path of my own... Long story short, I told her how I felt (via text which I should have never done) but it was too late. Someone had already communicated their feelings towards her. Shit left me devastated and I never really recovered right from that point in my life. I just “what if” myself to death afterwards. From age 24 to 27, I’ve had a horrible dating experience, and I really didn’t have any business of messing around with anyone while still broken.. So far, It’s been a “Love vs Me” dynamic but it brings me to the lesson I’m currently learning about today which is “Self-Love.”

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I believe in Soulmates. Anyone else that disagrees can fight me..I’ll knock you the fuck out.