I’m Here (A Solavellan Fic)
[This is for the lovely @solverne. My dear friend and Kohai. <3 I really hope you like it. I’m sorry if it is bad. ;~;]
The journey back from Adamant Fortress was long and eerily silent. The Nightmare had truly rattled everyone by exposing their deepest fears and making them vulnerable. Avarae glanced ahead of the group at Ena. She was truly concerned for her friend. She knew that she had to make the choice of leaving the Warden behind.
Avarae knew Ena well. The choice was not an easy one and it was surely eating at her, but she knew to give her space. Night was drawing near and everyone was exhausted. Avarae would leave the discussion for tomorrow. The experience in the Fade was something everyone would rather leave behind for tonight.
Even Solas was rather quiet on the journey back to Skyhold. She glanced over at her lover, eyes softening when she gazed at him. Without a word, she grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers. Solas was slightly startled by her sudden action but a small smile appeared upon his lips, squeezing her hand gently.
It was a silent communication between the pair of Elvhen. A quiet reminder that they were there for one another. When the party finally reached the gates of Skyhold, they entered the fortress hand in hand.
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Solas and Avarae decided to retire early in the evening. The experience left them both rather drained. They prepared for bed in a comfortable silence. Just being in each other's prescence was enough for them. Both of them climbed into bed and settled under the warm blankets. Avarae settled on her side with her back against Solas' chest as he wrapped his arms around her.
Solas buried his face within her dark locks, inhaling softly. He soon found himself drifting away into the Fade. Avarae felt her eyelids growing heavy from exhaustion as she listened to Solas' soft breaths as he slept. It didn't take long for her to slip into a peaceful slumber to join her lover in the Fade.
Slipping into the Fade was as natural as breathing for Avarae, she found herself standing within a peaceful grove. It was such a better improvement from Adamant. It was so calm and serene. Avarae felt herself already beginning to relax. She glanced up at the sky, taking in the beauty around her. She could hear the birds singing softly and smell the scent of spring as a small breeze caressed her face.
She looked around for Solas and found that he wasn't there. She furrowed her brows in confusion. It was strange for them not to have found one another by now. She couldn't even feel his aura. Something was wrong. Very wrong.
"Solas?" She called out. The only reponse she recieved was an eerie silence. She felt her chest begin to tighten and fear began to set it. Where was Solas? And where was she? Avarae decided to start searching for him. She knew she needed to stay calm. She didn't want to attract demons. She took a deep breath and set out to look for him by heading deeper within the grove.
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As Avarae walked deeper and deeper through the grove, the small breeze turned into a violent gushing wind. She lifted her arm to block the wind from her face and continued forward. Suddenly, the sky grew dark and the trees around her began to wilt. Avarae froze. The peaceful grove was rapidly dying. But why?
"Solas!" She called out for him. Her voice filled with fear. Still there was only silence. Panic began to consume her and she began to run. She ran and ran for what seemed like hours, but she was going nowhere. Avarae desperately wanted to wake up, but why couldn't she? What was keeping her here?
"Solas! Sathan! Answer me, vhenan!" She cried out again. The eerie silence was maddening. It was almost as if she was in the Void. Her heart was pounding. She felt as if she couldn't breathe. "Someone! Answer me!" She screamed into the decaying dreamscape.
"Mamae?" A soft voice cut through the silence like a sharp blade. Avarae felt like she was consumed by ice. 'That voice....No....It couldn't be...' She thought as she slowly turned in the direction that the voice came from. Her eyes widened. "Da'vhenan...?" Her voice trembled slightly. How she longed to see her daughter again.
"Mamae...You left us. Why did you leave?" Estelar tilted her head slightly as she stared at her. Avarae could feel her heart breaking within her chest. "I didn't leave, da'vhenan. I tried to save you." She stepped towards her daughter, reaching out to her. Estelar stepped away from her. "You left! You left me and Papae!"
Avarae could feel the hot tears cascade down her cheeks at her daughter's words. Before she could speak, Rienmar appeared beside his daughter and lifted her into his arms. His eyes looked at Avarae with such despair before averting his gaze. Avarae felt herself shatter all over again at her family's rejection. "Sathan...Listen to me..." She reached out to them again.
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The Fade began to twist around them. Rienmar and Estelar stared back at her with lifeless eyes. Avarae could see the arrow in Estelar's back and the blood drenching Rienmar's side. A tremble ran through her body. A sob escaped her lips. "No....Sathan...Venavis...." She shut her eyes tightly, trying to make the image disappear.
She could hear their voices in unison. "You left us. We died because of you." Avarae screamed and placed her hands over her ears, falling to her knees. "Sathan! Venavis!" She repeated over and over until silence fell around her.
When the voices finally stopped, she removed her hands from her ears and slowly opened her eyes. There was Solas standing before her with his hand offered to her. Avarae took his hand just like she did that dreadful day. He gave her hope and freedom. Suddenly, everything went dark.
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Avarae's eyes snapped open to Solas above her with his hands on her shoulders. Her cheeks were dampened with tears. "Solas..." Her voice sounded so small and so weak. His icy eyes stared down at her with worry and fear. "I tried to find you in the Fade, but a demon was interferring. A very powerful demon of Despair was blocking my connection to you."
Solas moved away slightly so Avarae could have room to sit up. "I couldn't wake you..." His voice shook slightly. He moved a hand to her cheek, caressing her skin gently with his thumb. Avarae felt the tears begin to stream down her face. "It's my fault...It's my fault they are gone..." She sobbed.
Solas' eyes saddened at her tears. He brushed away her tears with his thumb. "It's not your fault, vhenan. You tried to save them. You were outnumbered." He tried to console her with his words. He hated to see Avarae cry. She had lost so much. To see her blame herself for a situation she couldn't control made his heart ache.
"I always lose the ones I love...It's only a matter of time I lose you too..." Her voice cracked. Solas pulled her into a tight embrace, burying his face within her hair. "You'll never lose me, vhenan. I'm here. I will always stay by your side." Avarae wrapped her arms around him and held onto him desperately like he would disappear if she let go.
She buried her face in the crook of his neck. They held each other for what seemed like hours, not wanting to let go. Moments passed before they pulled away to look into one another's eyes, getting lost within their depths. "Ar lath ma, vhenan. I'm here." He assured her softly as he leaned in to capture her lips.
Avarae returned the kiss gently. Her eyes slipped close as she got lost within his kiss. As long as she was by Solas' side, she would never be alone. She felt so safe and secure by his side. She knew there was no place she would rather be.
