daughter, mother, liar

indie, selective, dark NARCISSA BLACK MALFOY, as repressed by robin

[thelastblack]

21+ / they/it

RULES

Follows back from @familyname.

this blog is 18+.

Absolutely do not involve me in your drama. I don't care. I will block you.

My Narcissa is not fanon Narcissa. Do not assume she is nice, kind, a feminist icon, or good. She is not.

This block has a blanket content warning for: incest, fantasy racism, sexual abuse, rape, miscarriage, illness, self-harm, and abortion. Narcissa was sexually abused by her father from ages eleven to twenty. This is non-negotiable. If you are uncomfortable with these themes, do not follow. If you do follow: mentions, non-graphic discussions, and allusions to these things are liable to come up in threads without prior discussion. For graphic discussions I will check in with you beforehand and you can opt out.

If you come at me lecturing about how to write things I have lived through, I will hard block you.

[motherfuckingmaneater]

The most noble and ancient House of Black.

[sweetfridays]

♡ zendaya coleman for bulgari ( bulgari )

[amorjpg-deactivated20251017]

i would totally wash the blood off your hands btw. if u even care🙄

[cowboahs]

quotes that broke me starters

feel free to adjust pronouns / names as needed !

quotes taken from random sources or tiktok. i claim no ownership whatsoever.

❛   i’m supposed to be the one who protects you from monsters. i’m not supposed to be one.  ❜  

❛   if i could make a deal with god, and i’d get him to swap our places.  ❜  

❛  no one heard our screams for a long time.  ❜  

❛   i know so many last words. but i’ll never know hers.  ❜  

❛   there is a home for every departed thing.  ❜  

❛   it reminded me that i will never truly know you.  ❜  

❛   i also buried a part of myself alongside them.  ❜  

❛   after you died i could no longer hold a funeral. so my life became the funeral.  ❜  

❛   you don’t have to be awake to cry.  ❜  

❛   forgive me, for all the things i did. but mostly the things i didn’t do.  ❜  

❛   the human eye is the loneliest creation of all.  ❜  

❛   fairness is for happy people.  ❜  

❛   the things we lost will always be heavier than the things that stayed.  ❜  

❛   perhaps it is the greater grief, to remain on the earth when another is gone.  ❜  

❛   you stain the pages with yourself.  ❜  

❛   tears will not wash away the sorrow.  ❜  

❛   beautiful things grow a certain height and then they fall and fade off.  ❜  

❛    who in all these centuries has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?  ❜  

❛   i have scars on my hands from touching certain people  ❜  

❛   despite everything, i believe that people are really good at heart.  ❜  

❛   you tried to change, didn’t you?  ❜

❛   you can’t make homes out of people. someone should have taught you that.  ❜  

❛   i hid my deepest feelings so well, i forgot where i placed them.  ❜  

❛   we have no scar to show for happiness. we learn so little from peace.  ❜  

❛   i didn’t leave because i stopped loving you. i left because the longer i stayed, the less i loved myself.  ❜  

❛   at every moment in our life, we have one foot in a fairytale & the other in the abyss.  ❜  

❛   there are too many sad eyes on happy faces.  ❜  

❛   it’s strange, i felt less lonely when i didn’t know you.  ❜  

❛   things change, friends leave. life doesn’t stop for anybody.  ❜  

❛   it takes a lifetime to die, and no time at all.  ❜  

❛   i am deathly afraid of almosts. of coming close to what i want and then falling just a little short.  ❜  

❛   i felt your absence.  ❜  

❛   what do we do now, now that we are happy?  ❜  

❛    you honestly thought anybody would love you? purely and truly love you?  ❜  

❛   don’t stop looking. he deserves to know someone saw his end, that someone noticed him.  ❜  

❛    i can bear my pain so long as it has meaning.  ❜  

❛   i dont have a single friend - not one.  ❜  

❛   i’ve had more than enough pain in my life, what’s a little more going to do?  ❜  

❛    it would have been you if i met you first.  ❜  

❛    i really thought he was going to be my forever.  ❜  

❛    maybe in the next life it would work.  ❜  

❛   in spite of everything, you’re still you.  ❜  

❛   the dead have it easy.  ❜  

❛   there’s an ocean of silence between us, and I’m drowning.    ❜  

❛   there have been countless times in my life when i thought i’d be better off dead.  ❜  

❛   what on earth… have i become?  ❜  

❛   don’t look at me! i don’t … i don’t want you seeing me like this.  ❜  

❛   i wish i could’ve been like you.  ❜  

❛   your fate was sweeping you away, like a flood.  ❜  

❛   the future should know the mistakes we made.  ❜  

❛   of course you have. you feel guilt. you want redemption.  ❜  

❛   i’m here because you can’t accept what you’ve done. it broke you.  ❜  

❛   even now, after all you’ve done, you can still go home.  lucky you . ❜  

❛   you’re all that’s left, and we can’t live this lie forever.  ❜  

❛    prometheus gave us light, and warmth, and eternal damnation.  ❜  

❛   take a gamble that love exists, and do a loving act.  ❜  

❛    i know i ruined your life. i suffer for it every day.  ❜  

❛   don’t let yourself get killed for… for pride. i’ve seen it kill too many folk.  ❜  

❛    you and me, we ain’t decent… but those folk… they were.  ❜  

❛   we’re more ghosts than people.  ❜  

❛   despite my best efforts to the contrary… it turns out i’ve won.  ❜  

❛   i gave you all i had … i did.  ❜  

❛   this whole time, I’ve blamed myself for that decision.  ❜  

❛   do you think even the worst person can change…? That everybody can be a good person, if they just try? ❜  

❛   i don’t want to break their hearts all over again. it’s better if they never see me.  ❜  

❛   please leave me alone. i can’t come back. i just … can’t, okay?  ❜  

❛   no matter the struggles or hardships you faced… you strived to do the right thing, you refused to hurt anyone. ❜  

❛    people like you don’t ever want to be happy.  ❜  

❛   i don’t want to let go. i’m not ready to say goodbye yet.  ❜  

[thelastblack]

made a meme to explain narcissa's feelings about voldemort

[themakeupbrush]

Fan Bingbing at the Tony Ward Fall 2023 Couture show

[contriite]

Narcissa Malfoy ( @thelastblack ) liked this for a starter from Lucius

Lucius is careful not to make it too obvious he had been looking for Narcissa ever since he'd set foot inside. Once he's caught sight of her, he merely moves to stand in her viscinity, continuously in company of someone ( anyone ), even if he catches more of her conversations than he does of his own. He hadn't seen her in a few weeks now - even if they had been somewhat continuously in touch since he'd left Hogwarts - && her possible attendance had, if he were really honest, been the sole reason for his own presence. However, arly half an hour passes before - drink in hand - he approaches her.

" I 'm glad you made it - "

[thelastblack]

Narcissa smiles and sips champagne. She eyes Lucius, predictably close to her. He's going to come to her - it's better that way. Men like to think everything is their idea. She sees him around (he's listening, isn't he?) and she mentions him to Rosalita Nott ("I think he's handsome, he has the features of a classical statue, handsome like that.") It's true, whether he hears it or not. Nobody can deny that Lucius is rich, wealthy, powerful . . .

She intends to stay out as late as she can at this party. Having him here is brilliant, it gives her a chance to talk to him too. He's interested in her, really interested, in a way that makes her heart thrum with something just a half-beat off of romance: ambition. "It's good to see you here," she says, smiling. "Shall we toast to our good fortune?" She clinks her glass against his. "How is the gossip this evening?"

[cculters]

˚ · .✧˚ · .✧˚ · . from much of the day one has it been nothing but throwing elbows. two eleven-year-olds, though in the same year, in the same house, nothing but chins up & biting comments. not exactly something marisa was looking forward to when coming to hogwarts ; to find a new home in scottish highlands as far as she dared to picture at that stage. friends were quite a secondary matter. now, it was the six's year rolling over the calendar & not that much had chanced ever since. ❝ you know i always get my man. ❞ @thelastblack said, & all marisa did was raise the perfectly shaped eyebrow. to ignore the black would be the wisest decision, yet fire in her bloodstream refused to put down an opportunity at a little fight — get to the sore point, rub it in.

a smirk creeped upon marisa's face. ❝ if i didn't know any better, i'd say you are jealous. ❞ a giggle formed in her throat. the honest amusement reaching her eyes, lighting them up. ❝ but — good for you. yet, quite frankly, i don't care about your romances, narcissa. has any of your interests got their eyes on me instead——— feel free to try your worse. ❞ marisa dared the other girl, her own posture screaming with confidence she never even tried to tame or hide ; all too aware of being the light in a moths' nest. & narcissa black ? was hardly the competition. ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

[thelastblack]

Narcissa tilts her head, keeping her face purposefully blank, flipping the rest of her long blond hair over her shoulder. "I would never be jealous of you," she says. Narcissa is a Black. Nobody even knows who this girl with an unknown name and suspicious parentage is. Narcissa can have whatever she wants. She always has. Men, clothing, friends . . . she has no doubts about getting what she wants. "I'm just telling you." Students two years older than her would forget their girlfriends just for ten minutes in a closet with her. "It's not as if it's in question."

Marisa has been a little too close to Arlo Parkinson, the boy Narcissa has been working on the past month. Narcissa doesn't admit it to herself - maybe never would - but it's more about seeing something and having it than wanting him. And no half-blood is going to keep her from having something. "I'm a Black. I get whatever I want."

[real-moody]

“Molly assures me she’s tackled the worst of it,” Moody says. “I wouldn’t go digging through any old boxes unarmed, but you should be safe enough in the rest of the house.”

His magical eye roves over her arms and legs through her robes—nothing to compromise her modesty, just a quick check to ensure she’s not actively being crawled on by a doxy nor any other pest. That would be just his luck.

“What’s on your mind, Mrs. Malfoy?” Moody pours himself a cup of steaming tea and then gestures inquisitively toward Narcissa with the pot. “And would you like a cup of tea while you ask for my help with whatever has you so wound up?”

No one usually seeks Moody out for company unless they want something, usually protection. He doesn’t mind, though. He likes protecting people, especially when those people are beautiful witches who wouldn’t give him the time of day otherwise. And he’s damn good at it, too.

[thelastblack]

"That would be lovely," Narcissa says, quite truthfully. There's nothing like a cup of tea to make somewhere you haven't been in a very long time feel more like home. She doesn't think she's being particularly hysterical or wound-up, but perhaps he senses her instinctual misgivings about him. The man is uncompromisingly perceptive.

Narcissa herself voted to open the window and smoke out the things, but Molly wouldn't have it. It was inhumane, apparently. As if the little things are human. The next time she sees one, she's casting a Killing Curse on it. Once, she caught Lucius using the Cruciatus Curse on the gnomes in their garden. So long ago . . .

"Since Albus warned me of Lord Voldemort's return, I have trained my son. He knows a great deal of useful curses, every spell I could find that would be useful in combat." Including Unforgivable Curses, though Draco was only able to master the Imperius Curse. "But dueling is difficult to teach, with . . . my complications." Even a stunning spell puts her out for a long time. "I need someone to teach him." Moody is experienced, pure-blood, will not tolerate excuses, and knows how to Curse better than any of the Order members who have never so much as touched dark magic.

[thelastblack]

@pctioneer

"Nightshade," Narcissa says. "As you requested." There has to be someone else he could get it from, but perhaps he wants no record at all of the controlled ingredient she offers him in a small pouch. "I keep some here." With Lucius's darker artifacts, in case she needs it. It's an ingredient in quite a few of the poisons she brews from time to time.

There's only so many times he can make it here. Narcissa's typically pristine fingers are stained with ash and ink and wine. She's taken up smoking again, and the sickly sweet smell of it clings to her robes. "And - Draco. Is he . . . how is he?" There's no real questions to ask. Narcissa wants nothing more than for him to come back home for the holidays. This place is devastatingly empty. If she never sees him again alive . . .

[thelastblack]

@mr-nott

Colored smoke spirals up into the darkening sky. Narcissa doesn't dare leave Lucius and Draco alone, not like this - not when he doesn't have his wand, not when she fears for his life every day - but on the balcony she can see him through the window. She takes another drag, tucking her hair behind her ear as she leans into the night. Just one joint. Enough to calm her nerves and give her energy.

She looks up at the figure coming across the balcony from the other entrance. These days, allies are nearly nonexistent and former friends cannot be counted on. "Leontius. Did you get it?" A Potion of Numbness. Being nearly confined to the Manor makes it difficult once the potions she has runs out. Usually she gets what she needs from Severus, but he's been gone for a long time.

Maybe he didn't bother and he's just here to mock their misery. It wouldn't be the first time someone took the opportunity.

[amazonwarriorwitch]

"Quit babying me! I can protect myself.”

@thelastblack

"Just like you could protect yourself from Father?" Bellatrix scorned, her eyes flashing. She knew that was a low bar, but it proved her point. It proved that Cissy needed someone to protect her. And if that blasted Malfoy was not going to do it properly, she would. So long as she remained loyal to the cause.

[thelastblack]

Narcissa stiffens, her face wiped clean, her eyes icy. Bellatrix rushes violently into her life, disturbing her graveyards of things carefully buried. "You left to join the Dark Lord," Narcissa says coldly. The nerve of Bellatrix to claim that Narcissa is incapable of protecting herself. "I protected our family's good name. I lived with him longer than you." Her eyes flash. "I got myself married. You were never a part of any of this."

[amazonwarriorwitch]

❝ you’re not the person i remember. you’ve changed. ❞

@thelastblack

"Fourteen years in Azkaban will do that, Cissy," Bellatrix cackled, her voice slightly hollow as she spoke. Azkaban was the worst of the worst, yet no one ever thought to discuss the horrors that were there aside from the dementors. Oh, the dementors were the least of her problems. Because of her location, the dementors were more prominent, but they were not the worst. Sirius Black, their wretched cousin was also close by... but they never spoke. And he escaped before she did. How, she would find out the next time they meet. But even then, that was not the worst. The worst lied with the demons and monsters such as incubi. Then there were the Boggarts.

A hard edge entered her voice as she broke out of the trance. "Fourteen years I waited patiently for him to find me. At last.... my patience has been rewarded."

[thelastblack]

"Yes," Narcissa says, "it has." Bellatrix has a kind of unshakeable faith she envies. She had thought that Bellatrix was as good as dead, written off her sister as another casualty of the war that tore her family apart. To see her now feels like seeing the ghost of someone you knew in life, brought back in all their cold and empty glory.

"I'm glad you're still alive," she admits, almost smiling. Even if she isn't the same, even if everything's changed, even if the return of the Dark Lord puts them at risk, she's glad. "I'm glad you're here." Her arm twitches as if to reach out, but the gulf between them is still too far, despite how close they are.

[teardropcollector]

[thelastblack]

@bccksmarts

"Harry Potter would be quite dead if it wasn't for me," Narcissa says. "And I shouldn't have to remind him. Yet here I am." She stands with cold eyes and an iron-straight back, facing someone with blood so filthy it may as well be dirt. She could feel the eyes on her as she walked through the Ministry, a familiar feeling, save for the now suspicious and and cold observers. "I demand to see him."

Perhaps this is the reason she has been spared from being taken into custody for now, instead of her lack of direct affiliation with the Death Eaters, her lack of easily-identifiable crimes. Not having Draco and Lucius at her side makes her feel as if she's lost a limb. "If you're grateful that your friend didn't die at the Dark Lord's hand, I believe you owe me a great deal already." Cold eyes stare down at the woman in front of her: now an influential war hero starting her career. Lying to the Dark Lord was a decision made to save her son, but after the war it translates into pure political capital.

[mrs-nott]

"I suppose it depends on whether anyone they've taken into custody is...disloyal," Cordelia said. "But even then, it's simply hearsay, not hard evidence. I imagine if they do have any real evidence, Leo will simply claim that he was acting under the Imperius Curse. It's not as though the Ministry can disprove that, not with the Dark Lord dead and no possible accounting of how many people he bewitched."

Like Narcissa, Cordelia was still finding it hard to believe that the Dark Lord, the greatest wizard to ever live, was so suddenly and abruptly gone, defeated by a mere infant of no special provenance, the halfblood child of a blood traitor and and mudblood. At least the wretched Potter couple had been stamped out as they deserved.

"I never thought the war would end like this," she admitted. "Victory was so close. The Ministry had been so effectively weakened; they were on the brink of collapse. Now all the power lies in their filthy hands once more. We'll have to go back to the old way of shaping the world." Namely, gold and political influence. Fortunately, neither the Nott family nor the Malfoys were lacking in either area.

[thelastblack]

Narcissa sits back. For so long, everything was so hopeful. It seemed as if the tides her family fought a losing battle against for years would be turned back, wizards becoming wizards properly again, the true order restored. All of it - her husband's ambitions in the process - are now destroyed. To be thrust so suddenly into ruin leaves her still stunned, through the frigidity of her soul.

"We won," she agrees, "and then we lost." She mourns for the world her son could grow up in where he is treated as he ought to be. "Everything we worked for is gone." She stares at her hands, thinks of the world they face, so violently different from a month ago.

"But we will remain," she says. All is not lost: they have their children, and if it all works out, their husbands. "And our families." She still thinks of her in-laws and worries. It's easy to put on a brave face and much harder to believe in anything concrete . . . particularly after this. "There are very few people I would say would turn into informants. Yet they do exist. People will do a great many things to avoid the specter of Azkaban." Would Lucius himself betray his friends to escape prison? Narcissa cannot say no with surety.