the leo in me

live your life. XO

[theleoinme]

i love this boy. love his soft little underbelly. love the way he smells. love his kitty lips. the way he looks at me. the way he talks. and the way he's always there when i need him. my little furry baby. my best friend. my purr bucket. -you could say i'm a bit obsessed. but he makes me sooo happy. ching chang chinaman. ❤️

[theleoinme]

i want to destroy everything & run away. this is me, on my knees. screaming "it isn't my fault!" how do i get back to wonderland? how can pick up my life? relax, little girl. you haven't ruined it all.

[theleoinme]

⬛️▪️🔳◾️🔲◾️💔◾️🔲◾️🔳▪️⬛️ theforgottenpresenceofafallenangel

- - - - - - - - 🎶 the memories, they fade off inside of me. ballads of evergreen lost. in. me. remnants of needing something powerful, to rescue my soul. from. dying. help. this is an emergency. take. me. away from the scene of the crime.. i don’t even know who’s controlling me. dissenting. from everything. farther away, than anywhere i’ve been before. mount your horses now.

send out your infantries. surrender me down. save me your empathy, i'm too far out ... of bounds.

[theleoinme]

sometimes i say things i really don’t mean. if only i could bite my tongue a little quicker. life is too beautiful for any of that negativity. you live, you learn. 🎡

[strings-of-beautiful-thoughts]

you’re feeling burnt out and discouraged, but you e made it this far and I think that’s really brave.

[theleoinme]

truth.

[theleoinme]

no need for questions... you already know the truth. no bad feelings... you live and you learn. no failures. opportunity to improve. no blame. we are all right, we are all wrong. no reason to look back... you're going the right way. 💛

[theleoinme]

resolved.

i thought we were suppose to plan out our entire life and do everything right. that's what i was taught and that's what i tried. now i sit in bitterness. there's a poison seeping through entrenching me with a sickness. and i lie distraught over this. i am so angry at the thought of what never was. distracted by the illusion that had been created. i didn't mean to return to the scene of the crime. but i can't come back from these lies. your only truth finally broke me. and now i can't rid this from my sleep. because of you. i caved in, gave up, destroyed something beautiful. your soul is empty. so you tried to take mine. how dare you. my heart weeps for you. i hope you find peace.

[theleoinme]

i would love to just give up and be as lazy as i please. fortunately, that's just not the way i'm programmed. i want to live... enjoy. inspire. do amazing things. be happy. spread happiness!! it's easy to lay down & enjoy the morphine drip. the strength is in the commitment to overcome the dang obstacles. it's even incredibly harder when you feel as if you're alone & on your own. keep pushin through the madness, that's what i have to tell myself. i'm thankful and i am blessed. so there should be no reason for self punishment. 💜

[theleoinme]

everything happens for a reason

yes, there's a lot of power behind that statement. unwanted situations always have positive features. we must force ourselves to stay true to the secret inside of us. the outcome just might be more delightful than you think. 💚

[theleoinme]

hello, April. it's nice to see you again. a few weeks in.. our spring equinox. warmth & rain.. green, awake, fresh. 🌿 feels good to be front porch sittin' at 2:30 in the am. soon the flowers will bloom.. baby bunnies & sunny days. 🌼 my nails are season appropriate and my tan is on point. i think this calls for a Bloody Mary & booty shorts. gotta keep it spicy. ✌️

[theleoinme]

random conversations

he said your new girlfriend sucks. and i couldn't help but laugh. he wrote it really big on a piece of paper, which made it even funnier. i don't think he realized, i already know she sucks. i already lived in a world of her psycho sloot drama. shut the door, turned the page. but.... she's back. & apparently causing quite a ruckus. i'm sorry. "i wonder how she sleeps at night. is she feeling justified? finally scored what she wanted.. girl, enjoy your prize."

[theleoinme]

stuck.

sometimes i just need to cry. a release of emotions. so break the dam. gather all your nasty thoughts. drop them at my word. change. let's be real. that's not the truth. i am stuck.

[theleoinme]

& so the story goes

a girl had dedicated her life, giving her heart & soul, to the music and love thereof. a passion so deep inside, raging with emotion and chaos and insane amounts of happiness. a tortured desire finally unleashed. and then it ended. her heart was shattered into a million pieces. she took pride in nothing. she fell apart... she was alone. a wish granted, perhaps. or a true awakening. there was no longer any glory. no more stars. nothing held weight. all lies. insults. death. anger. complete desolate confusion. heartbreak at it's best. the refuge she had known so well was no more. what was once therapeutic became taunting and ugly. no understanding. no going back. the memories. couldn't be erased. jaded. so angry. so sad. "what does anything mean anymore, because i can't remember." thoughts of the futures past misery were too real to confess. secrets turned to suppression intertwined with an obsession to mask the pain. unclear. unsettled. but, defined. relations severed. hiding in comfort. living for nothing. pretending for everything. the files may have been deleted, but the hard copy still remains.

[theleoinme]

vanity. define that on a good day. "her vanities were recognized at a young age.. but she grew older, her self-admiration had passed. a saggy pallet with visible lines had replaced her once soft, smooth skin. hair lifeless and abused from years of that beauty queen fro. teeth not as perfect and white as they once were.. her smile faded, leaving only creases around her lips. eyes no longer bright.. but sad and worn. a life of beauty and glamour taken over by fear, afraid to look in the mirror. what was once adored is now the enemy." -unknown

[theleoinme]

remain calm. love. learn. teach. surrender. give. seek. believe. hear past words spoken. see inside unguarded. forgive and be forgiven. accept enjoy live rejoice hope reach remember to rest. outrun your fears with faith. be diligent and strong. realize your awareness. guide your sight. put aside vanity. practice truth in love. search your soul. release your mind. free your spirit. unburden your past. forget what they told you. trust in the truth. the answers shall be revealed.

[theleoinme]

in the am

4 o'clock again. sleeping doesn't come easy with a head full of noise and in the darkness it gets louder. i breath deeply, desperately trying to calm my mind. thoughts of the day, the past, the future, reality and fantasy slip in and out as i continue to focus on my breathing. what if? when? how did? who? where? why? so many stories surrounded with infinite questions.. cluttering up the sacred place i long for. i reach for the quite inside but find nothing by outside noise breaking my concentration. cursed. by this point i'm hungry & i need a smoke. only 5 more hours till the alarm. only 12 hours until i can try to rest again. everyone else is calm while i lie restless. the morning shall be glorious. i will wake rested and ready for the day. i will have an abundance of joy and energy. happiness engulfing my spirit. hello world, what a beautiful moment. 🙏

[theleoinme]

"fashion fades. style is eternal." -Yves St. Laurent