The War Of The Three Queens And Jon Snow Who Thinks We Should Maybe Be Talking About The White Walkers Guys

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The War Of The Three Queens And Jon Snow Who Thinks We Should Maybe Be Talking About The White Walkers Guys
me [searching the beach with my child]: sorry honey, doesn't look like there's any sand dollars left
child: can't the ocean just make more of them?
me: and cause inflation? destroy the sand economy? jesus christ Tiffany, use your head
my idea of a fun friday night is making a smoothie and then trying to piece back together the fruit
BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees BEES bees
[exits my mobile treehouse, rifle in hand, binoculars pressed against my eyes]
[my dog barks steadily and i look out into the distance]
[there, 2.6 miles out, is a squadron of bees, steadily approaching my forestral abode]
“wind 8 degrees SW, adjust three left” says my trusty dog spotter
“roger that” i respond, trusting his judgment
I take my rifle to my shoulder and peer down the scope. the haze is thick with air and dust and coconuts. my forehead begins to sweat. my palms are not sweating though, they’re good.
“take it slow” says ruffers, nodding at me in reassurement
“slow is fast and fast is slow” i respond, thinking back to my training and earnestly tracking my target’s approach. “humidity?”
“it’s hot out here,” barks ruffers, as his tail begins to wag. i glance at him quickly and he abruptly stops, remembering any motion on our treehouse deck might throw off my aim.
i slowly take in a breath and then release it, firing my round downrange. thirteen seconds pass…. a tense silence fills the air. im still tracking them in my scope. then suddenly boom! one goes down!
“how many more of em, ruffers?”
“12,488 sir”
“this is horribly inefficient”
my fashion sense is called i am cold and pissed off
I wish the US would invade the US to build functioning roads and establish a democracy.
makeup is SO so fun and im so excited abt makeup like. most makeup is just minerals?? colored minerals?? dirt. pretty dirt. put the dirt on your face
introducing golf 2
this time you gotta fight an alligator
“hey can i have a couple of those fries”
cop: can you describe the guy who stabbed you
me: yeah he was not very friendly