I used to think falling apart over a boy was dumb until I did. Now here I am contemplating staying because of the hurt he left behind and everything loving him entails. He is happy healthy and has moved on and I'm stuck. I feel broken in ways I don't know how to fix. He has no idea how much effect he has on me. How his indifference kills me. How his words play on a loop in my mind. I don't wanna love him I wanna cut his name out my heart. I've been in love with him too long. I fear he looks at me and feels pitty and that's worse than hate than any other emotion. Every night, I pray that I'll wake up and I won't ache for him. The pain slows time a moment feels like eternity. An eternity of hurting till you find yourself willing to do anything to make it go away. And nothing helps, this hurt has stayed too long. And your tired of hurting and missing and loving. So you sit and sit and sit and wait.















