[themachinestops]

Friends I am finally free to live in gremlin peace but before they left girlfriend's dad gave me a handshake and told me to learn to drive.

[cerastes]

People don’t even say w00t anymore.

[cerastes]

This sux00rz…

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

not naming names but some of you are so creative and talented it's an honor to have you in my phone

[themachinestops]

It's wild there are people who use the actual internet but also experience things at about the time lag and level of correctness that your mom would here them on the view.

[themachinestops]

Two dads have now questioned whether I, personally, should have a house with a yard I have to mow and this discrimination against manlets is disgusting.

[themachinestops]

I am glad the job of journalists is to grant legitimacy to political institutions. Girl I think that is part you are not supposed to say. The concept of misinformation has fucking broken people's brains.

[themachinestops]

Girlfriend told me to forward her a bunch of paperwork for her to put together and I know this is 50% motivated by wanting to snoop on it but it's like internet feminists have told me it's a crime to place this burden on you.

[themachinestops]

One time I took a taxi out to the middle of nowhere and when we passed the bus depot the driver was like, you could get a job there I heard they're hiring drivers and when I did not react sufficiently enthusiastically he was like it's a good job you know. Like I'm aware of the appeal of unionized city work man, and I am also in your taxi because I cannot drive.

[themachinestops]

It's not like this line of resentment is even that true to begin with, but it's fucking wild to make this point about a job that has an obvious lower-stability counterpart (house cleaning) that's majority female. Men dominate the regular, sometimes-unionized version of vaguely similar jobs and this clearly owns the girl bosses.

[themachinestops]

Oh the one hand it's like big news for millennial class consciousness that one of the biggest advocates for making sprawling family housing great again is a gay dude who spent 10 years advocating for more of the downtown apartments he presumably personally wants (or at least did). On the other hand, the fact that someone could take that position and still not be able to seriously imagine stepping away from the approach of subsidized demand and insured leverage to let people buy in as boomer exit liquidity. Is like. Lol. Lmao.

[themachinestops]

I respect people's #livedexperiences but oh man do I live in a different social reality than people who think peak woke happened in 2021 or whatever.

[themachinestops]

Look I hope England loses not for political reasons but because I cannot stomach the fact that mr. halaand (sr)'s lasagne does not work.

[themachinestops]

Girlfriend left for the consignment store with her parents and was like "if i find something i might get it" which is like mundane taken literally and deeply suspicious to bother to say to me.

[themachinestops]

She gave me a glass of wine as soon as she walked in the door and then five minutes later I learned she bought nothing, so queen of suspense tbh.

[themachinestops]

Girlfriend left for the consignment store with her parents and was like "if i find something i might get it" which is like mundane taken literally and deeply suspicious to bother to say to me.

[themachinestops]

We have been running a big scam on one (1) indian dad that peach cobbler can only be made with fresh peaches but now that bill has come due.

[djshahh-deactivated20240305]

[themachinestops]

I hope the self driving cars can go so fast and the sad little men who resent that transportation improvements made elbow room available to the unwashed masses are so mad.