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I'm rewatching Hoarders. The episodes with Dorothy Breininger or Matt Paxton don't need the psychologist. Dorothy and Matt were cleaning experts with great emotional support skills.

#hoarders

I need help finding a meme. It's about facial hair. The guy has thinly shaped facial hair. The text says something like, "I'm 23. My gf is 16."

#funny memes #meme #memes

IDEA! Waxing hurts. I'm too old to lean to reach all the nooks and crannies. Enter... the pussy barber!

#ideas #clean shaven #waxing #hairy #barbershop #showerthoughts

Someone keep an eye on Gisele. Tom Brady is doing ads for Hertz.

#oj simpson #tom brady #gisele bundchen

Guys with breed kink: let's get you pregnant!

Also, them: you're on birth control, right?!?!

#breeding k1nk

What if Eminem broke his spine and became a paraplegic... The Real Slim Shady couldn't stand up!?

#eminem #showerthoughts #slim shady

I wish there was an ~adult~ version of Family Fued. "We surveyed 100 women, how can you tell a guy is a good fuck just by looking at him?"

#game shows #showerthoughts

Just once, I want the people interviewed for a murder documentary to be like "Ya, Becky was a bitch so no one was surprised somebody killed her." Just once.

#true crume #documentary #showerthoughts

Are we supposed to understand the rules of True American? Every time they play, I try to follow what's going on, but I can't.

#new girl #zooey deschanel #jessica day

I try not to let Facebook know that the targeted ads I'm seeing are not relevant to me so they don't actually show me relevant ads and then I don't spend money.

#money #finance #facebook

I tightened the screws on my bed frame and it made me feel like Bob fucking Villa.

#diy projects #diy #repair

I have a question for people who work in customer service, retail, food service, call centers, etc.

If the customer is nice, do you try to help more than a customer who isn't nice? If so, what do you do differently? What makes someone nice enough for the special treatment?

#customer service #customerexperience #retail #restaurant #call center #retail life

I think Titanic should have had a sequel. Rose got pregnant during her parking lot romp. She gets to America. She has to start over alone, pregnant with trauma. Then with a baby.

#Titanic #showerthoughts #leo dicaprio #jack dawson #kate winslet #rose dewitt bukater

Maybe I'm stupid but why do we bother exploring space? What are you going to find that matters? Just periodically check for asteroids headed towards earth and leave it at that.

#showerthoughts #space #nasa #planets #galaxies #space exploration

I read somewhere that to reduce under eye puffiness, you should use products with caffeine. Well, I've been dabbing Mountain Dew under my eyes twice a day for 6 months, and it hasn't done shit. Wtf

#beauty tips #skincare

I would have saved so much money had gps not been invented. I'm terrible with directions so I wouldn't go anywhere because I wouldn't be able to find it.

#driving #maps #showerthoughts

I hate when writers use decade, century, etc. Stop being dramatic and just write the amount of time.

#showerthoughts #writing #writerscommunity #writers on tumblr

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my brain dump