Easy, Breezy, Beautiful...

{Kevin Roscoe} {25} {Resident Drag Queen] { When I was younger, a lot of problems happened. They gave me more problems. Now I'm problematic}

[thenameis-kev]

sofie-gardner‌:  

“Angel in the bed, devil everywhere else? Sofie questioned with a piqued brow- there were plenty of people who would insist she was a bitch, but she knew if she was a man she’d have had the world at her feet and no one would have questioned her means, they’d simply be justified. A mans world, she thought, and you’re a woman in it, so Sofie planned to let the world know her name. Sofie chuckled, “I don’t have inhibitions babe.” Shrugging she looked woefully into the crowd, “You’re not wrong, I’ll give you that.”

“I don’t know you, but me? I’m a deviant angel, honey. In the bed, on bathroom stalls, and every Sunday morning,” he said, a quick wiggle of his eyebrows topping one of his very own little side smirks. He hadn’t been to church on a Sunday morning in a long time, but he kept it as a saying either way. “Oh, I wasn’t talking about yours. I have none either– takes one to know one,” he explained confidently, “but the rest of the world... they aren’t like us, babe.” Kevin brought a cigarette out of his pack and lit it up in a smooth motion, offering one to the blonde. “Of course I’m not wrong. It’s all about the choice making process that decides if you get all or nothing. You look smart enough.”

[thenameis-kev]

sofie-gardner: 

“Don’t get me wrong, I love dick as much as the next guy, gal- person-” Sofie shrugged nonchalantly, “But I’m worth the sober hook up.”

“Oh, baby, I’m sure you are. You’re an angel, for sure. I’m just saying it’s more likely to happen with one drink on, you know, the whole release your inhibitions,” he said, doing a little singing and dancing number to that one song he couldn’t even remember the name of but knew the lyrics of. Or at least one sentence of them. “Plus, you can get two: you’ll get the mildly intoxicated hook up and then the sober one the morning after. It’s a good technique.”

[thenameis-kev]

june-monroe

June wasn’t the kind of person who carried a grudge very well or for very long, but it was hard to forget the kind of pain Kevin had left Charlie in back in New York — And as for everything going on between them now and Tegan too: she didn’t know what to make of it, but she wasn’t overly fond of the idea that the both of them might bring further hurt to Charlie in the end. While she believed she knew enough about his history with Kevin, she couldn’t claim to know it all, and where they stood today was still a little unclear to her, and when he looked up at her and greeted her in a tone of voice that was probably a lot kinder than the one she had used, June immediately felt bad.

“Uh,” she pressed her lips together in thought and looked around, most of the other tables empty at this point. “You don’t have to leave a tip —” She didn’t care if he did, but she found herself caring about the long face in a moment’s weakness. “Aren’t you hungry?” She asked, clearing her throat a little. “We’re closing up soon, but um, if you stay put, there might be something for you. Just bruschetta or something like that, but it’s better than nothing, right?” She wasn’t sure why she was offering it, or why she cared enough to do it, but she found that she did — And that she had never actually talked to Kevin alone before.

Kevin wasn’t sure if he could sigh in relief. He still felt pretty bad about taking up the space for this long, making a waitress come and ask about his order and pour water multiple times, so he would most likely leave at least five dollars. For a cup of water. That was perhaps a projection of himself working on service for this long, something he wished someone did for him without sending him signals to go meet in the bathroom only for him to reject said tip, usually on late Saturday nights. He brought out his wallet, but before he could open it and embarrass himself as he poured out the contents of it, the girl, still standing next to him, spoke again. The familiarity of her voice made his stomach turn, and he wondered if she had recognised him and perhaps that was the reason why she was showing some sort of interest in him. Or maybe she hadn’t, and that’s why she was offering– maybe he really did look that bad, even through his attempts of trying to look decent for ‘Tony’ who most likely didn’t even exist. 

“Really?” He asked with hopeful eyes anyway, because who was he to reject food, even more so if he wouldn’t have to pay for it. He was hungry, but that was hardly a surprise, and he didn’t exactly have anything waiting for him at home, so bruschetta sounded so good his mouth was watering. Looking up at her brought back more memories, of her coming to visit a couple occasions, her face unchanged by time unlike his own. “I mean, if you don’t mind me taking up the table for a few more minutes...” He said, offering what he thought could be a friendly smile. 

[thenameis-kev]

june-monroe:

{ » @thenameis-kev.

June recognised him the moment he walked in, and though it was almost impossible for someone like her to carry a grudge, she couldn’t pretend to be thrilled to see him. Pawning him off on one of the other waitresses, she did the immature thing and pretended not to notice him instead, just walking by with her eyes straight ahead, not even curious to see if he recognised her too. She was normally not the kind of person who solely made up their opinions of others based on what she knew about them from someone else, but it was hard not to have him be tainted by everything she knew of Kevin from Charlie. 

When the other waitress on shift with June left and Kevin was still there, June realised she would have to talk to him at some point. He still hadn’t ordered anything except for a drink, and he appeared to be waiting for someone. Pulling herself together, she eventually walked over to him and cleared her throat softly. “Are you ready to order now?” She asked him, trying to seem as professional as possible.

Kevin had been early for the first time in a long time. His attempts of pulling himself together being more and more desperate, as he was now meeting up with a blind date– which is just a fancy term for someone he met on Tinder. Which was much better than Grindr. Here, there was at least the chance of a nice dinner in a restaurant he would’ve never gone otherwise. But twenty minutes passed, and this Tony guy didn’t show. And thirty minutes passed, and this Tony guy wouldn’t answer any text, not even the phone call Kevin made, but he still waited, told the waitress over and over again to come back in a few. He knew if he ordered something and this Tony did end up standing him up, he wouldn’t be able to pay for anything, so he stuck to water the whole time. 

He could feel people’s pity on him. Of course they had noticed the empty seat in front of him and his very much sad look, getting worse by the minute. Kevin rubbed his temples as the hour mark hit, and it became clear that nobody would show up. Kevin opened his eyes, cued by a voice of someone else other than the waitress, but much too familiar, as if he had heard it in a past life or something. He looked up, blinking a couple times until he placed a memory with the girl’s face, and in the middle of the group there was Charlie– as if he needed any kind of reminder of him at this point. “Hey...” He responded, softly but trying to be friendly. “I... I don’t think I’m ordering anything else, thanks,” said Kevin, circling the brim of the half empty glass of water on the table. “If I just ordered water, do I just leave a tip? I don’t know how it works in places like this.”

[thenameis-kev]

sofie-gardner:

“This is fun and all, but I want to ride something that goes hard and fast.” Sofie groaned, with a roll of her eyes she scanned the crowd for anything to capture her interest, “You know what I mean?”

“If what you’re looking for is some dick, I believe you got here at the wrong time. Everyone is still sober– wait past the sunset, and then things shall get hard and fast.”

[kogaijie]

[thenameis-kev]

drewhiltunen:

Drew knew how much Kevin cared for Casey, saw it whenever they were together, even after things went down. It was a relationship Drew wished they could have, despite his lack of confidence in their ability to commit to anyone. They nodded as Kevin continued to speak, tears streaming down his cheek at his words, never wanting to know what it felt like to experience what he did. He hated Charlie, and he had never even met him. Without saying a word, Drew got up so he could sit down in the space between Kevin’s back and the couch, enough room there for him to fit comfortably. He made Kevin lean back so he was resting on his chest, and just held him, kissed his cheek, and played in his hair. “You deserve to be with someone who sees you, and cherishes you. Like me but…romantically,” he said, trying to keep his tone pleasant. “You can keep talking if you want to. Or not. Up to you. I could just play in your hair if you want.”

Kevin didn’t resist the hold, feeling the need to be embraced like this. Even if he was a quite open person, one that would talk about anything and everything that had ever had an effect in his life, he didn’t allow many people to see him in quite the vulnerable state. He closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, enough to dissolve the lump inside his throat and keep any sort of tears back. “I don’t know what I want. I’m high,” he said, sounding more whiny than upset this time around. “Keep playing with my hair, though,” he said, taking a more comfortable position while still leaning back against Drew. “I just wish, I don’t know... that he wanted me. Or that he’d made an effort to... to get me to stay, but nope. Nothing. I feel... I feel disposable. In literally the life of everyone I’ve ever cared of this way... Do you think it’s my fault?” He said, looking up at Drew as if they had the answers of everything in the world.

[thenameis-kev]

adam-sterling:

                                    “How is it a great activity with a partner?” He asked, a laugh escaping his lips though the look on his face said ‘confused’ more than anything. “I don’t think my girlfriend would take too kindly to hearing somewhere that I was on Tinder, or any kind of app where you’re essentially looking for a hookup, or anything close to it.” He scrunched up his face, a light chuckle escaping his lips under his breath. The dating game held no appeal to him anymore, far from. He was happier than he’d ever been, and it was largely due to Sierra. “Dude, no— a bathroom stall or the back of car? I’m all for doing whatever you like, but if you really do meet someone at a bar you like, you’ll find a way to make it last beyond that.”

“There are too many ways to make Tinder a couple thing!” Kevin scoffed. “You’re really gonna make me explain you?” He rolled his eyes, not giving him a chance to really respond before he was speaking again. “You can always find a unicorn– a third, I mean. Or just play God, honestly. It’s not like you’ll show someone your dick or anything. It’s just conversations.” That’s what he liked about Tinder over Grindr, that people were more willing to talk before asking if he was a top or a bottom. “Nah, that’s not how it works,” Kevin shook his head. “If I meet someone at a bar, they’re probably drunk. Which means, there’s a bigger chance of them regretting it in the morning. I don’t like being pushy. So, let’s say no to bars. I’ll just–- do you think the church would take me as a nun?”

[thenameis-kev]

jamessorrento:

“Pop? Guess that depends on the crowd you’re going for.” Amazed by the dedication, James doubted that he was even the right person to ask — he would never use a thing as Tinder to get to a woman. “But if you don’t wanna blend in, don’t use Tinder for starters. That shit’s lame anyways.”

Kevin looked up from his phone, arching an eyebrow at him. “Your mother is lame,” he said in attempt to defend himself. “Try finding the love of your life in a gay bar. You’d be trying for Tinder in half a second. Who knows. You look the Grindr kind.”

[thenameis-kev]

noraxmercer:

           “What are you talking about?” She exclaimed and laughed, realising he was indeed right. She’d hooked the ducks, but not brought them onto dry land. “Oh, fuck— I guess three drinks isn’t the magic number after all? Maybe I should keep going, take it to four or five and see how I go. What do you think?” She asked and looked at the guy, smiling widely. “You should join me! We can do shots — I don’t remember when I last did shots. Shots and ducks: sounds like a good combo, right?”

“Well, aren’t you supposed to like.... bring them up instead of just... knock them down? I don’t know, it’s been a while since I’ve been to one of these places,” he laughed, gladly she hadn’t taken it the wrong way, nor was offended at his comment, which, as usual, came with a little bit of a tasteful snark. “God, can that little body of yours take more than four shots? I’d be amused,” he said, meaning it. His resistance could be big, but he was way taller than many. “Shots and ducks sound fine, I’m just not sure if I’ll be partaking in the ducks bit, but I’m down for some booze.”

[thenameis-kev]

drewhiltunen:

It wasn’t something they expected, for Kevin to feel the same way they did. They always seemed so confident, and ready for everything. So confident in their body and what they could do with it. It was always something Drew looked up to. But seeing this, the side of Kevin that wasn’t so on top of it all, that wasn’t so connected to their body, it made Drew feel closer to him. As though they weren’t as different as they once thought they were when they first met. He took the bowl and took another hit, setting it down to hold his hand in his, if only to trace the lines in his palm. “I’ve never felt so excited to hate someone before,” they said, trying to lighten the mood. There was so much they didn’t know still, but it felt like they knew everything they needed to. And there was more to learn, but, like Kevin said, that had to come with time too. They brought their palm up to his lips, kissing it before setting it back down to continue tracing lines. 

“It means,” they said, laughing at his tone of voice. “That I’m gonna cling to you and you steer me in the right direction. You’re a cardinal sign and I’m a mutable one, so just tell me where we gotta go, and I’ll follow you wherever that is.” They stopped talking immediately when Kevin started speaking, their heart sinking down to their stomach as he continued to speak. It was like he could feel what Kevin was feeling, and it made them want to throw up. “No, Kev, keep going. If you’d been able to what? It’ll feel good to let it out. I promise.”

Kevin rolled his head back, knowing he had spoken more than he was comfortable with. Then again, he never really spoke much about anything unless he was high or drunk, and even then, he had learned to filter emotions out of facts, so what people got out of him was usually a very general version of whatever bothered him. This time, it had been the opposite. He had gone straight to the feelings and he wasn’t too sure how to even begin to talk about that. He groaned, still holding Drew’s hand but turned it over so his could be on top, pulling it slightly more towards him to use it as some sort of support. “I don’t know,” he said, tilting his head so he could look at Drew more easily. “I’m conflicted and... and confused.” 

Kevin licked his lips, considering his words, what he was about to do and how much it would affect his life for the next couple of days. “I wanted to be honest with him. I felt like I owed it to him. It’s not easy to end something you thought you’d have forever– you know how much I loved Casey. It was over, but it’s not like I could send a signal to my brain and just stop so I could go over to a different– That’s not how it works!” Kevin said, noting he was getting frustrated with himself. “But maybe if I’d said what he wanted to hear...” He sighed. “But at the same time, I did. And... And I felt it. And I told him everything. Gave him everything. And it just seems to me like he washed it down in the fucking shower like fucking cum from the night before.” Kevin ran a hand through his hair and leaned forward on his knees. “I’m sorry,” he said after a moment, turning to look at Drew. “I’m sorry. I’m just angry, I think.”

[thenameis-kev]

micahrichardson:

“Someone like me?” He mused, finding the entire conversation intriguing and amusing. It wasn’t often that he would sit down and talk to someone like this. Or really…yeah…it had never happened before. “You mean, someone who hasn’t been involved romantically with anyone in six years? I dunno about your standards here, Kev.”

“No!” Kevin laughed, leaning back on his seat for a few seconds before coming back to his position, resting his elbows on the table and leaning forward on them. “That’s not what I meant. You’re just... I don’t know. Good looking,” he figured saying ‘hot’ would make things a little awkward, “but also, older...? I’m an immature little shit. I don’t see how the worlds match,” Kevin shrugged, not meaning to put himself down but to actually laugh at his own expense. “If anything, that means you have real high standards.” He smiled. “She must’ve been a good one, yes?”

[thenameis-kev]

noraxmercer:

             “Okay, I don’t know about you but I’m a hundred percent convinced hooking ducks is a lot easier if you’ve had at least three drinks. And why is that, Nora? you might ask— well, I’ll tell ya,” Nora said and hooked yet another plastic duck with a growing grin on her lips. “Because I tried this pre-drinks and I sucked at it. I tried again after two drinks and still sucked— and now I’ve had three and, I mean, look at me go, I’m killing it!”

Kevin laughed, finding it too amusing to be around drunk people when he wasn’t drunk in the slightest. Maybe he should’ve pre-gamed before coming over, but he thought he could have a good time and remember it the next morning. And it wasn’t that bad, really. Hadn’t bumped into anyone uncomfortable just yet, and he got to laugh about silly things like this one. “Honey, you’re killing your wallet instead of the game,” she said, seeing how she hadn’t actually picked any single duck up.

[thenameis-kev]

micahrichardson:

He laughed and shook his head, looking down at his food before making eye contact with him again. Something about his smile hitting him a certain way every time he saw it. It lit up his entire face, even when he wasn’t happy, even when he was having a bad day. Maybe it was because it reminded him of Mari. Or maybe it was because it was…Kevin. Who seemed to be a very important constant in his life. “That is what I was doing, I feel like it’s a little less impactful now that I’ve had to explain it. Wait, so all this time you thought I was just playin’ with you?”

“Less impactful? NO! No, no... Uhm–” Kevin stopped to let out a nervous chuckle. He really couldn’t believe what was happening, but his disbelief, he would learn, was coming from embarrassment, that he hadn’t been able to pick it up sooner. Then again, with them working together, and him being Kevin’s sort of boss, to a certain extent, he wasn’t sure where this could go, but most likely nowhere. Still, it was great to know someone had their eye on him, he couldn’t lie about that. “I mean...” Kevin shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the first time, okay? And I honestly would’ve never imagined someone like you would find me attractive?”

[thenameis-kev]

drewhiltunen:

Drew wanted to hide their face as soon as Kevin mentioned anything regarding sex, their heart sinking and their stomach flipping at the mere thought of it. One of the few people they had had sex with, their boyfriend in college, hadn’t made it the best experience for them. It was uncomfortable, and degrading, and it made Drew not like him anymore. So if anything, they were mostly worried that they and AJ would have sex, and then Drew would be turned off by him completely. Or, that he would give in to having sex even though he didn’t want it because he felt like he needed to to keep him around. Again. He nodded, taking the bowl and the lighter and taking another hit. “I know. And I know he’ll be cool with…whatever. I mean, it’s AJ, he’s the sweetest boy I’ve ever met in my life. I’m just scared about the time coming and me not…liking him anymore. But I’m trying not to think about that right now, ‘cause I think we’re happy where we are.”

Drew leaned over to Kevin before handing him back the bowl, resting his palm on his cheek and leaving three kisses on the other, before settling back where they were. “And I’ll be here with you every step of the way. I’m a pisces, I cling. But only to like…4 people tops,” he said with a bright smile. He had been noticing Kevin’s frame getting smaller, the bags on his eyes slightly deeper, and all he wanted was to love him in the way he needed and wanted. But he knew it could never come from him, and the inability to help fully was killing him. “I think it’s good you still think about…everything. You can’t just try to erase it all, you know? That just leads to losing an important piece of yourself, and I love all of your pieces.”

Kevin remembered having that exact same fear about a year ago. The thought made his throat feel tighter and for a second there, he couldn’t talk. He bit his bottom lip until he couldn’t stand the pain and looked down at the floor for a couple seconds. There was no point about breaking over those things anymore. That was in the past, mutual agreement, best for both parts. He hadn’t spoke about it much, he never had the chance or more like he never gave himself the chance. “Listen, I know that fear,” he whispered, afraid his voice would break. “I think it’s normal when you’re like... getting there with someone,” he smiled at his own terminology, “I felt that way with– You’re just getting way ahead of your time. You’ll like him even more everyday, even the days you’ll hate him.” Kevin paused for a second, biting his lips for a moment before taking the bowl from them and destroyed the lump in his throat with a deep inhale of smoke. He exhaled slowly, leaning back on the couch. “You’ll be okay, my child. I know it,” he said, smiling proudly at Drew, stretching a hand to gently squeeze their leg.

Kevin giggled, feeling the three kisses on his cheek. Nobody before had given him this kind of attention, and every time Drew did it, he had the same exact effect, made himself smaller, grin like a fool and let it happen. “And I’m a Libra, but what is that supposed to mean?” He chuckled, gently pushing him away. Kevin let out a scoff and shook his head. “I wish I could, though.” And the high had officially kicked in, he knew it when his tongue started running and his brain wouldn’t do much to stop it. “That’s what I told him. I told him I couldn’t just forget about everything, stop feeling and jump from one guy to the next one– I couldn’t do it. But if I’d been able to... Sorry.” Kevin lifted up his legs, brought them against his chest. “I don’t want to rain on your parade,” he chuckled softly. “Your weed made me emotional. Tell AJ I don’t like it.”

[thenameis-kev]

cressica && malcolm

CRESSIDA: What makes you feel trapped?Replied

MALCOLM: What does honor mean to you?“Nothing? I mean, I’m sure it used to be an important part of a family, from what I’ve heard, but in all honesty, the only ‘honor’ that should matter is to yourself, to be truthful to your values, morals and ethic.”

[thenameis-kev]

Edgar, Hippolyta, Horatio

EDGAR: Do you want to make your family proud?“I disappointed my actual family too many years ago, that I don’t think they count. My chosen family, well of course I want to make them proud, but not just that, I want them happy and healthy too.”

HIPPOLYTA: What is your biggest regret?“Walking out when I shouldn’t have walked out.”

HORATIO: Who do you love most?“My friends, the people who have taken care of me in the past ten years– wether I still talk to them or not.”