IMPORTANT: MINORS DNI t°ā ļøĀ°ļ½” I do not want minors interacting with my content esp nsfw content. It is also NOT my responsibility to safeguard your experience. Please pay attention to warnings if you are sensitive about certain topics. This is your warning.
directory ā”ļø fic rec page ā”ļø nsfw visuals
ā”ā”ā”
October
To terrorize your neighborhood...(All October) š
ā³ Spooky Season 2025
September
WIP peak (Sept. 14th) ā”
ā³ A peak into what I've been doing
Fics that have been heavy on my mind pt.2 (Sept. 10th) ā”
ā³ Yandere heavy fic reccomendations
August
Theme masterpost (Aug 5th) ā”
ā³ masterpost of reoccurring themes on my acc (sirens, yanderes, etc)
July
Fics that have been heavy on my mind (July 18th) ā”
ā³ Poly heavy fic recommendations
June
Hard thought- stuck between two of them(literally) (June 24th)ā”
ā³ had no people in mind then thought of Mingi and Yunho. Oops.
2024 ⢠Done ā”
October
Creatures crawl in search of blood...(All October) š
ā³ Spooky Season 2024
March
Stroking him while holding him pt 2 (Feb 18th) ā”
ā³ Changbin, Jeongin, Hyunjin, and Minho; nsfw
January
Stroking him while holding him (Jan 16th) ā”
ā³ Felix, Jisung, Seungmin, and Chan; nsfw
Big Dick!Chan and Possessive Reader (Jan 8th) ā”
ā³ small drabble; nsfw
2023 ⢠Done ā”
[depression break]
December
Poly December (All month)
ā³ masterlist for all 2023 Poly December writings
November
none
October
spooky season masterlist (All month) š
ā³ masterlist for all 2023 Spooky Season writings
September
#3: mischievous swaying with chan (Sep 30th) ā”
ā³ chan mild public play; little smutty
#2: chan being a meanie nsfw (Sep 29th) ā”
ā³ mild brain rot of chan going from sweetie to meanie in bed; smutty
#1: Chan comes home from tour (Sep 29th) ā”
ā³ my feelings about chan coming home; fluffy and smutty
Siren 2 (Sep 4th) ā”
ā³ Seonghwa shares something special with you
Chan comfort (Sep 3rd) ā”
ā³ you bring Chan home from work and you can practically hear his racing thoughts
July
7 nurses, 2 patients (July 24th) ā”
ā³ you and Mingi are recovering together with the most chaotic staff of nurses: your boyfriends
April (oops)
The Innocents: 01 (Apr 26th) ā”
ā³ Jimin saves two innocents caught in the crossfire; Mafia!Jimin x Yoongi x Reader (8pm est)
Felix makes three: 01 (Apr 26th) ā”
ā³ The morning after the ice is broken; Chanlix x Reader (6pm est)
Bang Chan masterpost (Apr 17th) ā”
ā³ just a masterlist of my Chan content because im a whore for him :)
[10:45] felix ft. jisung, changbin, and hyunjin) (Apr 15th) ā”
y/n moments from wanteez episode nine and episode ten aka the health special.
Ateez 9th member AU | Wanteez Ep. 10 by @rheasforum
y/n is not the best under anesthesia
taking care of drunk ateez by @redemptions
the members drank a little too much during filming
Where your pup boyfriends are just so.. them... by @songmingisthighs
chaotic puppy!yungi
Finding Love by @phesodain
hybrid!jongsang
sleepy hongjoong and san thoughts by @323cutie
cutie clingy sleepy hongjoong and san headcanons
y/n gets lost by @vent-stink
hybrid!y/n gets lost
the essence of youth is summers with you by @eightmakesonebraincell
when you move away from your hometown at the age of six, you discover that summer in namhae takes the form of a skinny, dimpled boy who loves the sea and holding handsā choi san. but as the summers go past and he goes to seoul for college, bringing back new friends each year, you start to develop feelings that run deeper than just friendship. will your summers of youth become ones of love and dreams, or will they end in pain and heartbreak?
7 nurses, 2 patients by @thenewblackcanvas
you and mingi and sick and have 7, very worried, nurses
spell jars and other small joys ā.įby @simpracha
the clients that frequent your shop can only be described as beautiful and quirky...who wouldn't be caught up in that?
Hurt/Comfort
21:40 by @mimikittysblog
you're sick :(
SensualSmut
In Your Fantasy by @wicked-disposition
dilf! yunho + dilf! hongjoong
collide** by @miirohs
vampire! matz
Text
when did you know that i liked you? by @nightbeforetheend
ateez as your exes by @telail
asking ateez if they'd still love you as a worm by @allureseong
cool with you by @xoxiaojun
daily texts with bf!ateez by @matzofficial
wichu ā.įby @xoxiaojun
calling bf!ateez by their government name ā.į by @eightmakesonebraincell
ateez's reaction to finding out your bias is their group member by @tyunphoria
bite me by @xoxiaojun
ateez + no nut november ** by @minkieater
Series
the one with the vampire royals and their doll by @fizzyapplecandy
Her life was filled with ups and downs, and she had to learn to fend for herself at a young age. Despite her parents' repeated attempts to drag her down and neglect her passion for art, she was able to collect enough money over the years to establish her own tiny antique business. It was filled with little treasures that she had gathered. She had no idea that two very furious vampires were on their way to retrieve their engagement rings, which had been stolen from another coven and sold to an unaware buyer. Y/N had never believed in the supernatural, but with two captivating guys staring at her with glowing red eyes, she may start to.
peach (part four) by @thelargefrye
puppy!yunho + owner!hongjoong
really bad boy by @thelargefrye
your boyfriends are the school's bad boys
Into the Aurora** ā.į by @honeyhotteoks
a relationship with all eight members of ateez. you werenāt supposed to fall in love with them, but you do.
Where the cold can't reach ? by @daichiduskdrop
Between exhausting finals, late nights at the atelier, and the quiet warmth of your pack waiting at home, life settles into a fragile kind of peace. Still, the world beyond your pack isnāt always as gentle. When the wrong eyes finally notice you, the fragile balance keeping everything together begins to crack and their world seems to start spinning in the wrong direction.
Violently Fragile ? by @8t33z
after the illegal hybrid ring you were in got shutdown you were put into a facility with other hybrids, a handsome man who was visiting said facility stumbles upon you and is infatuated by you, and it seems to have him leave his hand out to you with the promise that he will treat you right and give you a life full of love, comfort, happiness, you deserve. Only thing is not only will it be just himself but his other 7 lovers as well. Will you be able to let go past insecurities and let them in? Or will you push them so far away that theyāll see that ārabidā hybrid you know yourself as?
Now this house ain't a home ? by @koyagifs
what if?
Headcanons
awake by @itstheghostofmypast
ateez's reaction to y/n going to other idol's concerts or fan meeting by @scoupsakakitty
ateez with a clingy and affectionate drunk partner by @mnginlov
when you can't stop picking your nails by @mingi-buffering-24-7
ATEEZ comforting you after a rough week by @mingoooossii
secret romance by @yeontantrash
Ateez when you're emotionally exhausted by @all-about-kyu
Ateez Periods by @unitinyverse
ateez giving their s/o partner privileges by @mazeinthemiroh
When they weren't your first bias by @starry-nights-garden
thinking about ateez as vampires by @hwakakeri
hide 'n' seek by @kairoot
ateez as mafia boyfriends** by @eightmakesonebraincell
ateez + cling drunk s/o by @luvh4nji
when their s/o is sad and hiding it from them by @deja-yu
ateez as royals who fall for you** by @eightmakesonebraincell
OT8 Ateez Reactions: Couples Halloween Costumes by @whorellaville
how ateez sleeps/wakes up next to you by @gummygowon
ateez texts by @lvrsmg
Aftercare w/ Ateez** by @frenchkisstheabyss
Ateez Timestamps by @songmingisthighs
Ateez Taking Care of a Sick S/O by @aclowntiny
oh my *** by @ohmyamor
Ateez + Drunk Boyfriend Things by @luvh4nji
Meeting Pirate!Ateez by @aclowntiny
Ateez sneaking their s/o to the dorms by @shinescape
How Ateez Tell the Other Members You're Dating by @aclowntiny
Ateez Reaction to Their S/O Watching Their Fancam by @aclowntiny
Masterlists
stories by @fivestaralien
highlights ā.į put the book down (jongho)
stories by @kisshwa
highlights ā.į any text fics
stories by @sweetiesicheng
highlights ā.į studio (hongjoong)
stories ā.įby @bombuni
highlights ā.į any text fics, little accidents ** (woohwajoong), kittens w jongho (jongho)
stories ā.įby @atinycafe
highlights ā.į shopping spree w dilf!woojoong (woojoong), hongjoong and your first subdrop ** (hongjoong), boxer!yunho timestamps (yunho)
stories by @ppumeonae-bigvibe
highlights ā.į under his watchful gaze (mingi), quiet affection (yunho)
I have been working my ass off and bonded pair Yungi has been kicking my ass. I'm going to upload Halloween California Kings probably tomorrow. I'm so tired but here's the aesthetic
Poly Chanlix x Reader
also the Yandere!Mingi x reader x Serial Killer! Yunho (shortened)
for mature audiences only, minors will be fed to wolves.
⢠a/n: (hongjoong my love im SORRY) this does NOT in any way, shape, or form depict who / how any of ateez are irl. please do not take this fic as fact on their personalities, please and thank you.
⢠summary: your wildest dream is realized.... and it's not what you've hoped it would be. san gets an unexpected phone call, mingi's loyalty is tested, and the kq staff are getting suspicious...
⢠word count: 32.8k (73 pages.... i blacked out)
⢠warnings: MINORS RUN FOR THE HILLS | swearing, captive reader, conditioning, use of names (daddy, doll, baby, good girl), blackmail, guilt, use of r*** word, smut, edging (f receiving), creampie, rejection, blowjob, emotional breakdown, physical violence (on and offscreen), hitting, blood, use of chloroform
The next morning arrives slowly. Youāve woken up alone again, a small feeling of relief sparking inside of you. He was gone. But he had neglected to tie your hands before he left, so you wonder if he was really at work, or somewhere in the apartment. It was still dark in the room, but you could see glimpses of sunlight peeking through on either side of the curtains. You wander out of his room with a horrible headache, disheveled and moving slowly. You drag your hand along the wall of the hallway as you pass through it, to stabilize yourself if anything. Thereās nobody in the kitchen or the living room.Ā
You canāt help it. Your gaze locks back onto the guestroom door.Ā
Something tells you heās still in there. A gut feeling, a sixth sense, whatever you want to call it, but you know heās here. You wonder if Yeosang is still here too, ready to block you from coming in to see him. The thought is enough to make you rethink trying again. Once was enough. Twice was not going to be easily forgiven. You have to be good.Ā
You square your shoulders and instead redirect yourself to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. You hadnāt eaten all day yesterday, and your stomach was beginning to rebel against you, growling and hurting. Itās a mundane enough task that your mind just floats, drifting from one thought to another. You drift along, gathering what you needed and wanted ā bread, butter, fruit. While you wait for your toast to pop back up, you hop onto the kitchen counter, your heels knocking against the cupboards. The silence in the house feels stale, like anything could break it at any second now. The anticipation of something and not knowing what it could be makes your mouth dry, and the hair on the back of your neck stands up. It feels like youāre being watched from behind.
To combat the silence, your heels knock on the cupboards rhythmically, and you concentrate on counting how many times you do that while you wait ā just to keep your mind from going where it shouldnāt. The guestroom⦠the woods.Ā
Twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nineā¦
Knock-knock.
You straighten up, looking around for the source of the noise. But thereās nothing. Nobody. You hit the cupboard again, only once, testing to see if it was a one and done interruption, or if there was intent behind it.Ā
Knock.Ā
So, intentional then. You hop off the counter now, definitely hearing it coming from behind you. On your third step towards it, your toast springs up, scaring you half to death. Pinching the crust of it with your nails, you quickly throw both slices onto an awaiting plate so they can cool. They land haphazardly on the plate, but you donāt care. A feeling you canāt quite describe begins to rise in your chest. You find yourself in the living room, standing there waiting for another noise. After a while, you lean down to rap your knuckles against the coffee table.Ā
A couple seconds later you get a reply, knock-knock-knock.Ā
Your head snaps to the right, facing the wall. Without thinking, you kneel onto the couch and knock three times against the wall. The reply is immediate this time. The same three repeated back to you. Your heart wrenches.Ā
āMingi?ā You say, voice just above a whisper.Ā
Knock.Ā
You take that as a yes.Ā
You turn around and sit, feeling like youāve just been punched in the chest. Now youāre playing with fire. Who knew if Yunho was watching you on the camera at this very moment? You need to stop. Leave him alone until Yunho tells you that you can talk to him.Ā
Although⦠he never said you couldnāt.Ā
Were you really daring to go behind his back again? Where did all of this misbehavior come from?Ā
A flash of memory hits you like a brick. It appears so suddenly in your mindās eye and disappears almost just as fast. Years and lifetimes ago, you had walked out of the house past curfew, shoes in hand to silence your escape, the air cool against your skin as the front door quietly clicked shut. Every step farther and farther from your house had felt like flying, like youād stolen freedom right out from under someoneās nose. You remember giggling with your friends when you got to their awaiting car in your driveway, ready to see where the night would take you. Uncaring about the consequences if you were caught later. Your heart had pounded, each beat reverberating throughout your body. The thrill was addicting, you felt alive. An almost rite of passage of the teenage experience finally completed. And when you got home before dawn, with your parents none the wiser, it only fueled your desire to do it again if you could get away with it so easily.Ā
You stand from the couch, hands shaking. Thatās not you anymore. Youāre good. You follow the rules, you donāt break them. That was just juvenile rebellion, reckless antics that you shouldnāt have done. Childish and dangerous.Ā
You walk to the kitchen, falling back into your routine like nothing happened. You spread the butter onto the toast, chop up your fruit of choice and arrange it on the plate, and sit yourself down at the table. You eat in silence, chewing slowly. You glance at the clock every few minutes for no real reason ā you werenāt waiting for anything ā simply just to reassure yourself that time was really passing in the stillness of the apartment. Itās almost half past nine.Ā
The sudden emptiness and quiet was jarring after everything that had happened recently. You look down at your plate, barely halfway through, and sigh. Your stomach was so angry at you for not feeding it anything for so long, it was cramping from having food in it again. Still, you kept eating. Yunho would want you to finish it.Ā
So, you do.Ā
You rest your head on your arm, on the table next to your plate, bringing the toast and fruit to your mouth. It was a rather childish way of eating, but your body was so exhausted that you didnāt care much. At least everything tastes good. You suppose anything would after more than twenty-four hours without food. Once the very last piece of fruit is gone, you gather your plate and swipe any crumbs on the table onto it, depositing it in the sink for you to wash later.Ā
As you wash your hands in the sink, you hear it again.Ā
Knock-knock.Ā
You look over your shoulder, staring at the wall.Ā
Youāre not sure why, but you feel scared. Probably because you know Yunho wouldnāt like you two talking without his permission, even though youāve already kind of broken that rule. So, you ignore it. You ignore him.Ā
Itās for both of your sakes.Ā
So you clean up the kitchen, wiping down the counters, placing the butter knife you had used into the sink alongside the dish, and cradling the butter in one hand while you open the fridge with the other.Ā
This time, you notice something in the fridge. You wonder how you neglected to see it before, but you see it now. Up on one of the shelves was a plate covered in tinfoil, a bright pink sticky note stuck on top of it. You pluck the note off to read it, and notice itās in Yunhoās handwriting.Ā
Baby,Ā
Leave outside Mingiās door.Ā
Thatās all. You turn it over to see if there was more but found nothing. Short and to the point. Didnāt even sign his name ā not that he really needed to, but it was just odd to you. Yunho had mentioned last night that heād give you a small task in the morning. This must be it. You find yourself staring at the note. Several other small memories slip through the cracks in your mind ā like baking brownies for your friend when she was going through a breakup, writing a sweet little message for her and sticking it to the tinfoil covered plate. You had written your name at the end, maybe even adding an āxoxoā before it too. Your mother used to write little notes on baked goods, telling everyone to not eat them if they were meant for family friends or for her coworkers.Ā
āMom
You canāt remember her voice anymore.
Well⦠at least he called you ābabyā in the note, so you knew he wasnāt mad at you. You decide not to dwell on it, and wonder why you were even hung up about it in the first place as you gingerly take the plate out, setting it down on the counter for a moment while you close the fridge door.Ā
Turning to face the guestroom door again, you square your shoulders again, suppressing any thoughts or actions Yunho would disapprove of. You walk towards it, plate in hand. Your exhaling breath hits the door. Do you knock? Let him know itās there? Do you say something, voice aimed at the hinges so that it slips through easier? Maybe both?
You clear your throat, shifting your weight, āSir, Iām leaving food out here for you⦠um, just⦠please wait t-ten seconds before opening the door.āĀ
Ten should be enough for you to make your escape, you estimated. Yunho had been clear last night: you are not to let Mingi see you until he says itās alright.Ā
You crouch, setting the plate down with an echoing tink tink of the ceramic against the wood floor. When you stand up again, you know your time is running down. You have to force your legs to move, stepping backwards and bumping into the couch on your way back to Yunhoās room. You turn and run when you hear the doorknob start to turn, and when you turn again to close Yunhoās door, you catch just a small glimpse of Mingi.Ā
In that split second you saw of him, he looks like a ghost. Pale, distant, aimless. Retrieving his food like a caged animal, a prisoner in solitary confinement. You saw some sort of bandage wrapped tight around his forearm, and some discoloration around his neck. You didnāt want to know. You even run the short distance to jump back into bed, as if it was home base while playing tag. But youāre safe. You hear his door close again, and you flop onto your back in bed.Ā
Now what?Ā
You glance at the clock on the nightstand. 10:17AM. Only ten? So you had about eight hours to wait and see if Yunho would come back tonight. Eight hours to think, to endure the mundane. The same sights every day, breathe in the same suffocating air, fall mindlessly into the same routine as if nothing had changed. You feel itchy. Like something underneath your skin is beginning to try and scratch its way out. You pull the blankets over you, curling up beneath them and closing your eyes to combat your headache. You regret not bringing in a bottle of water for yourself, but you donāt want to go out into the kitchen again. You canāt be tempted to have those thoughts again. Maybe later, closer to when Yunho potentially gets back, youāll go out. But for now, you pull the duvet up over your head to block out any light that manages to make its way into the room, thankful now for the blackout curtains Yunho had bought only a couple days into you being here. Once he knew all of your stress manifested in headaches, he didnāt hesitate to buy them for you.Ā Ā
Plus, they are great for privacy.
Sleep fights you off for a frustrating hour and a half before caving in and pulling you down. Thereās not much else to do other than sleep anyway. The birds chirp happily outside, but theyāre keeping their distance.Ā
One of your last conscious thoughts haunts you on the way under: you shouldāve kept your distance too.Ā
Yunho didnāt end up coming home that night. Nor the next. Hongjoong had come back to get Mingi out of there the first night at around midnight, bringing him back to his dorm. You hadnāt answered the door, following your rules. Hearing someone knock on the door though scared you to no end, almost heart attack level. You ran into Yunhoās closet and pressed your back against it, just like you had a couple nights earlier. It was Mingi who had gotten himself out, having received a text from Yunho that he was allowed to go home now. Hongjoong had to support him up, help him walk. He was lucky the KQ driver didnāt ask any questions, kept his nose in his phone, barely looking up at where they were exactly. He didnāt say anything about the state Mingi was in. The story was that Mingi had gotten very sick while visiting a friend, with what exactly, they kept vague. Mingi had been put on an indefinite health hiatus, and his Instagram was flooded with concerned fans, and messages of wishing him a fast recovery.Ā
None of the staff knew about his arm yet. And if theyāre lucky, it will stay that way.Ā Ā
The next three days went by even more slowly than the previous. You walked in aimless figure eights around the apartment after you completed all your chores, you slept, you doodled in your journal. Still, he didnāt come back.
On the seventh day, you were rationing food. You had no idea where he was or where the others were, no way of knowing when heād return. You couldnāt make sense of why heād disappear now, especially when he said he was going to reward you. Nothing made sense to you anymore really, the lack of stimulation and change in environment had made your brain quite foggy. You felt like you were deteriorating from the inside out.Ā
You lay upside down off the couch, just to see the layout of the apartment in a somewhat new light. The blood rushes to your head painfully as you look around. You sleep, you eat, you wander, you watch the clock, you wait. Rinse and repeat. Thatās all you can do. One hundred and eighty hours of nothing. Sleep became your only escape, and you started waking up at four in the afternoon. Plagued by nightmares, each one different, varying in levels of disturbance. Each time afterwards, there was no one there to console you.Ā
Needless to say, you were rather restless. Maybe even a bit rebellious again as continued boredom fanned the flames of your anger.Ā
You came up with the idea on the eighth morning. A little act of enticement to try and coax Yunho back to you. You knew it was risky and may end in a correction, especially with a reward on the line, but you felt like you were being corrected anyway. Besides, you werenāt planning on breaking any of the five main rules. No, no, you werenāt that stupid. Rather an unspoken one; an understanding the two of you held.Ā
You almost skip into the closet in the evening, after six oāclock came and went, signaling another night alone for you.
It was time to put your plan into action.
Anxiety made your mouth tingle, your hands trembling slightly as you leaf through the top drawer of your dresser, searching for something in particular. Once you find it, you pull it out with a triumphant āha!ā and quickly put it on. You admire yourself for a couple of minutes in the bathroom mirror, making sure everything looks good. Perfect. You did your makeup as always, before six oāclock, and you style your hair exactly how Yunho likes it. Now, standing in a white lace V-neck bodysuit that Yunho had brought home for you a few weeks ago, looking like an absolute dream, you dared to look up at one of the cameras. You simply acknowledge that it's there with a small grin before going back to ignoring them again. You take a deep breath before exiting the bathroom, knowing you have to put on a good show for him if he was watching. You have to persuade him to come back to you sooner.Ā
The lights in his bedroom are out, the only light coming from those small candles you had brought out before when it had stormed. You had scattered them in different places in the room. The perfect setup, the light only just enough for Yunho to still be able to see you if he was watching on the cameras. Which, you hope he is. Youāre desperate enough to attempt this in exchange for human interaction, even if it did end with a negative result. At least heād be here.Ā
You lay yourself down in the center of his bed, letting the cameras adapt and focus on you in the dark. After a couple of slow, deep breaths, you settle and relax, letting yourself sink into the memory foam. Soon enough, your hands start to wander, starting at your chest, trailing up and down your abdomen with a featherlight touch. Your wrist just barely brushes against one of your nipples and you shiver, directing your attention to those now. Circling, teasing, occasionally flicking over it to send that same shock down your spine. You imagine itās Yunho thatās touching you like this, though he rarely was this patient when it came to foreplay. He saw it as a means to an end, something he had to get through in order to get to the main event. So you take your time, pretending Yunho was going to be gentle with you this time ā really treat you like a princess.Ā
Like Mingi did.
Okayā
You cover your face with your hands, inwardly groaning at yourself. You canāt be thinking about him in Yunhoās bed of all places.Ā
And yet⦠if there was one place in this apartment where Yunho didnāt have a camera, it was in your mind.Ā
Still, you try your best to focus solely on imagining Yunho and only Yunho. Like a good doll should. You cautiously resume, picking up where you left off. Only this time, you massage your breasts as well, sighing in content. Naturally, your hips start to roll up, your core seeking attention too. You mumble under your breath all the dirty things Yunho has said to get you wet for him, still ignoring where you actually want to be touched the most. It proves effective the more needy you got, even daring to moan his name out loud for the cameras to hear. The slight fear and thrill of it only encourages you more. You can almost feel each eye of every camera as they watch on like silent spectators, knowing Yunho might be behind each and every one.Ā
It only fuels you more.Ā
Finally, you let your hand trail down to where you need it most ā and there was no turning back now, youāve already gone this far. Your body nearly sings when you gently press your fingers down on your clit, a delightful shiver running up your spine. Dull heat begins to stir in your core as you keep imagining itās Yunho thatās touching you like this. You can almost hear him telling you to relax for him more, to let him play with you. Heād tease you, dipping his fingers into your heat just enough to make you clench around him, only to withdraw and rub your clit again, using your juices as a natural lubricant.Ā
āYouāre being such a good girl,ā heād say, his lips barely touching your neck, making you wait for him to kiss you there too. You bite your lip, knowing full well you were being anything but good right now, but indulging in that fantasy of hearing him say it nevertheless.Ā
āYou like being a good little doll for us?āĀ
Itās such a small word but you take a brief pause once you notice it. āUsā. A small word with such a large connotation accompanying it.Ā Ā Ā
You think back to when Yunho had spoken for you on the couch that night ā āMy girl would really love to play with youā, and āyou like being shared, right?ā. You wonder⦠do you like being shared? Or do you just like the attention you got from all of them ā at least, before they knew who you really were?Ā
Itās a question youāll probably never get an answer for. Yet your mind offers you flashes of memories of Seonghwaās angelic beauty and his eager-to-please nature, of Hongjoongās gentleness which complemented his natural dominance, and of Yeosangās shyness and patience. Itās easy for your thoughts to segue into wondering how it wouldāve been if Mingi had been allowed to participate, though you heavily doubt he wouldāve touched you at all unless Yunho made him.Ā
As if your body wants you to remember your task at hand, you start to think about the more⦠intimate memories of them you still can vividly picture. Surely that is okay, right? Not that Yunho could ever know that thatās what you're thinking about. You sigh, almost dreamily, as you remember that night.Ā Ā Ā Ā
Seonghwa eating you out like a cat who had gotten into the cream, for example. Or how Hongjoongās voice alone had been enough to make you wet, especially when he called you ādarlingā. And how Yeosang had held your hand, praising you quietly as he held you down on his cock. That time in bed had been both a sprint and a marathon. Reminiscing on it definitely helps, and you hurry to move the bodysuit to the side so you can dip your fingers inside of yourself.Ā
Finally.Ā Ā
However, youāre immediately disappointed with how short your fingers are compared to Yunhoās or Mingiās. Theyāre just not making you feel as full and theyāre not hitting that spot that you always had a hard time finding by yourself. You whine, even more needy for Yunho to come home to you. For any of their hands to be on you right now, touching you again. It takes a frustratingly long time for you to feel even a hint of the beginning of an orgasm, but it does creep up eventually.Ā
Your hips buck up occasionally, searching for what theyāre used to. The more you remember, the more you replay that night⦠the more you want it to happen again. You were curious who the rest of the group were, and how they would treat you in bed. Though, judging by how the rest of the night went, you doubted whether youād ever find out. There is no way Hongjoong will let those three anywhere near this apartment. Not if he can help it. You wondered with a pout whether youād see him again. Or Seonghwa. For now, all you had was this one time experience to go off of.Ā
Maybe you do like being shared. Your body craves all of them equally, if not Yunho a bit more than the rest.Ā
Your hand speeds up, fingers pumping in and out of your pussy, chasing that good feeling. It was right there⦠so close to the edge. With perfect timing, you think of Mingi that day in the shower. Heād been standing so close to you as he took you apart on his hands, watching your reactions, and able to feel every shiver and hear every whimper and moan as clear as day. He wanted you to tell him how you felt, how he was making you feel the whole time...
You scrunch your nose a little, trying to think of something ā or someone ā else, but no matter what, your mind keeps drifting back to Mingi. You silently beg for another night with him and Yunho as the pleasure grows. Yunho had said that it may happen again in time, but never specified just how long that meant. Though you feel selfish for thinking it, you do hope that they all stop trying to fight Yunho⦠primarily because itās useless, and also because youād really like to see them all again.Ā
Realistically, though, you know it was going to be a while until any of them willingly comes back here.Ā
In the meantime, your hand speeds up, causing your lips to part slightly. The oncoming orgasm is not nearly as strong as it usually is with Yunho, but youāll take it. Your mind races now, sifting through memories trying to find the best one that will help you cum. Your other hand resumes massaging your breast, swiping your thumb across your nipple. In the quiet of the apartment, you keep your moans relatively quiet, only wanting the cameras/Yunho to hear them. His name leaves your lips like a prayer, an incantation to bring him back to you.Ā
Itās when you think about the first night with Yunho and Mingi that your mind betrays you.
Youāre right there, just about to go over the edge when you see it. Flashes of red, discolored skin, bruises, bandages, specks of blood. You hear the pained screams loud and clear as if they were coming from Mingiās room again. You rip your hand away, sitting upright as if you had woken up from another nightmare. Your heart beats about a thousand per minute, and you press your hand to your chest like that could help slow it. It takes a couple of minutes for your breaths to even out again. Even then, you can still taste the tanginess of adrenaline in the back of your mouth.Ā
You exhale shakily as you lower yourself back down, curling into a ball on your side with your knees tucked into your chest. You're not very superstitious, but you take this as a clear sign that you should not have tried this. The air conditioning starts up again, rattling somewhere within the walls. You allow yourself a few moments to calm down before you opt to just sleep naked. The lingerie made you cringe now, and you feel embarrassed though you canāt quite understand why. Maybe it was because you always hated coming across as desperate⦠and thatās exactly what this act of defiance was. Desperate. Maybe even a bit performative. You toss the garment over the side of the bed. It can be dealt with in the morning.Ā
Dragging yourself back into the bathroom to take your makeup off, your movements are slow and lethargic. You just feel⦠sad. Profoundly sad. It was a similar feeling to the one you had all those months ago, when you felt hopeless and trapped.
You stare at yourself in the mirror for longer than you care to admit. There was nothing to look at in your reflection. You were just empty. Flat. You wonder how the others had initially perceived you if you really looked this gaunt. In defense of itself, your body listening to your thoughts, your arms wrap around yourself in a tight hug.Ā
The word parades through your mind: nothing. There was no Y/N anymore, at least not that you could see. That little rational voice that has tried to keep you conscious throughout all of this has been as silent as the grave. Everything that you know is in this apartment.Ā
You tear away from the mirror, trudging back to bed, guided by the faux candlelight. You cover yourself with the duvet, pulling it right up to your chin, and close your eyes. It doesnāt take long for sleep to overtake you. Youāre grateful for that. But you donāt know if you can bear another day alone.Ā Ā
When you wake up, itās significantly darker. Only one candle is still lit⦠which is very odd, unless all the others simply ran out of batteries. You stretch your arms above your head, yawning. You rub your eyes and prop yourself up a little, getting ready to get out of bed to try to find the candles in the dark and return them to the drawer.Ā
You can hear something on your right. Itās faint, a little high-pitched and whiny andā¦Ā
Itās your voice.Ā
You almost give yourself whiplash by how fast you turn, only to find Yunhoās laptop inexplicably next to you on the bed with your image plastered on its screen, obvious what you are doing ā as you intended. You gasp loudly, moving away from it like you had woken up to a large spider next to you instead. Stupefied, you watch the recording for a moment, your sleepy brain still trying to play catch up. You gulp uncomfortably, your throat drying rather quickly and you avert your eyes from the laptop, the brightness of the screen blinding as you turn back towards the dark of the room.Ā
As your eyes gradually adjust, you can just make out a figure standing in the bathroom doorway.Ā
You scream, shoving the covers off of you and scrambling to sit up, ready to defend yourself if necessary from this intruder or to run. Whichever one it came to. But he has you cornered. He yanks you towards him by your ankles and covers your eyes with one of his large hands. You scream again, struggling to break free.Ā
āDid you think that was cute?ā A gruff voice says, somehow easily finding your wrists in the dark and pinning them down above your head. He mustāve been in here for quite some time if his eyes have adjusted to the dark this well. The tiny, lone candle across the room did very little to aid your vision.Ā
But the voice sounds familiar. And his words make no sense for a stranger to say to you. You gulp down another scream and whisper, āDaddy?āĀ
āOh, so you do remember me,ā He says sarcastically. Yet, thereās no anger in his voice.Ā
The fear only lessens slightly. Youāve misbehaved, and now you have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Though you couldnāt help but feel like you gambled and won. He may know you well, but you know him quite well too. It sparks a small, smug sense of pride within you.Ā
āFucking spoiled little brat, arenāt you?ā The way he says it almost sounds like a purr, like heās praising you, āMade you crave cock, didnāt I, baby?āĀ Ā
You blush profusely at his vulgar words, and you stutter a reply, āJ-just y-yours, Daddy,āĀ
Yunho hums, but you can tell heās not convinced.
āJust mine, baby? You sure?ā You gasp sharply as he starts to grind his hips into yours, pressing his hardening cock against your core. He loves catching you off guard like this, and he always enjoys teaching you a lesson or two, āāCause it sounds like you miss more than just mine.āĀ
You whimper, not understanding or comprehending. Your brain was still processing that this was Yunho and not a random homicidal maniac that had broken in. His hand covering your eyes lifts off, but it doesnāt make much of a difference ā you can barely see him even when heās right in front of you.Ā
He turns his laptop to face him, and in the soft glow of the screen, you can finally see him more clearly. Or at least, some of him. Heās in a simple white tee, an oversized flannel over it with the sleeves rolled up about midway. Itās probably getting colder outside. His hair is messy, like he had just woken up or had spent much of the day running his hands through his hair in frustration.Ā
With a couple taps on the mousepad, you can hear your voice coming through the speakers again, still quiet, but a little clearer.Ā Ā
Oh.Ā
You instantly want to curl into a ball and die. On the recording is your voice, mumbling and moaning several names. All of theirs. You hadnāt even realized you were doing so⦠you only noticed when Yunhoās name left your lips. Your cheeks instantly burn red, and you bite the inside of your cheek, waiting for him to turn it off. When you try to turn your head away in embarrassment, he grabs your jaw and forces you to keep watching.Ā
āSee how you couldnāt even make yourself cum without me? Canāt do anything without me, can you, doll?ā His voice is a low murmur, not wanting to cover up the sounds on his laptop too much as he speaks.Ā
You whimper pathetically, wanting to believe that thatās not true, but the evidence is quite literally right in front of you.Ā
He finally ends it after you quiet down on the video again, hitting the pause button. The laptop shuts with a small click. Yunhoās movements slow. He gathers your wrists in his hand again, but less rough than before. Back in the pitch dark, you can only feel how close he is, leaning over you, his body pinning yours to the bed. His knee is now right in between your legs, pressing up against your bare core.Ā
āI was gonna surprise you in the morning before work, give you your reward, but it looks like you need a little discipline first.ā You can feel his breath against your neck.Ā
At least he didnāt say ācorrectionā. You dare to breathe just the tiniest bit easier, already guessing where heās going with this. After all, itās been almost two weeks since heās touched you in that way.
You begin to stammer an agreement, but he shushes you. He can tell youāre nervous ā you donāt know if youāre in trouble with him or not. And usually, heād relish in your cluelessness, the tension and anxiety that radiates off of your trembling frame. But he doesnāt now.Ā
āItās okay, baby,ā he reassures, his other hand brushing your hair away from your face, āthatās what I want ā for you to want to see them again. As long as you know who you belong to.āĀ
āI belong to you, Daddy,ā you try to sound confident, but you canāt help but still feel nervous. Youāre not entirely sure what type of Yunho youāve earned just yet. Finally, after blinking away the last remnants of the glowing laptop screen, your eyes start to adjust. You can just make him out. The lone candle left alive across the room gives away his silhouette.Ā Ā
āAnd do you think you can touch whatās mine?ā He whispers, only the slightest edge in his tone. He caresses you, knowing your face and body so well even in the dark.Ā
āNo, DaāāĀ
āThen why did you?āĀ
You bite your lip, embarrassment heating your cheeks once again.Ā
He waits patiently for your answer. Biding his time.Ā
Once you craft a carefully worded reply, you wet your bottom lip before saying, āI just⦠I just wantedāā you cut yourself off, rethinking your word choice. āWantedā sounds a bit selfish. Thinking quickly, you replace it with, āneeded you home. I thought maybe if I did something reckless, youād come back. Iām sorry, Daddy⦠I know better.āĀ
Yunho relaxes somewhat. You can feel the tension within me drain away. He finds your cheek and kisses it softly. He moves down to your throat, where youād expect him usually to bite and mark you ā but he doesnāt. Youāre puzzled as you feel how gentle his mouth is on your skin, but itās a nice change.Ā
āMy precious girl,ā he murmurs, the timbre of his voice vibrating against your neck, āI understand⦠but you canāt break Daddyās rules ā unspoken or not. Okay?āĀ
You barely nod, mindful to not hit him with your chin as you do, āYes, Daddy.āĀ
āYou definitely got my attention, though,ā he purrs, his lips now moving down to ghost over your collarbone, āyou looked so beautiful in that lingerie, baby.ā
āThank you, Daddy,ā you breathe, tilting your chin up a little to give him more room.Ā
He hums in response, his hand cupping your cheek. You lean into his hand, finding comfort in his touch. His thumb strokes your cheek as he continues to kiss you all over your collarbones, shoulders, throat.Ā
Then, he pulls away completely. He stands from the bed, walking over to the last candle and steps in front of it. Slowly, one by one, the room is illuminated once again. Albeit a dim light, now you can see him better. Immediately, you feel better. You hate the dark, especially here. He turns and comes back to the bed, taking his time. He sits near the edge of the bed and helps you up, maneuvering you until you lay on your stomach, over his legs. You can feel his hard on pressing up against your lower stomach through his sweatpants, and it makes you shiver.Ā
āYou understand why I have to discipline you now?āĀ
You nod, face partially buried in the sheets, āYes, Daddy. I understand.āĀ
A large hand trails up the back of one of your thighs, and you shiver again.Ā
āGood girl,ā he whispers, ājust take it like I know you can, and all will be forgiven. Okay?āĀ
āOkayā¦ā your voice breaks a little in the last syllable.Ā
āDeep breath for me, baby.ā The hand on the back of your thigh leaves you. You know whatās coming.Ā
You inhale as much as you can, body shaking with anticipation. Not knowing when or how hard heās going to strike was difficult enough to deal with. Youāre still unsure what level on the Pissed Off Yunho Scale heās at. Words sharp, but tone kind. Your hands grip the sheets below you, already close to white-knuckling them as he makes you wait. The only thing you can hear is your heart hammering against the mattress, and the slow, steady sounds of Yunho breathing.Ā
He waits another ten seconds. Then he strikes you hard, your body jolting over his lap.Ā
āRemember to count, baby.ā He reminds you as his hand pulls away again.Ā
āOneā¦ā you whimper, squeezing your eyes shut in preparation. Thereās no way of knowing how many times heāll spank you unless he tells you outright or until he stops.Ā
Two.Ā
Three. A little harder.Ā
Four. Much harder.Ā
āSiāfive, thank you, Daddy.ā You stammer, close to drooling on the sheets below you, mouth stuck open from the force of each hit. You almost say six, probably subconsciously because you want this to be over sooner. But you knew damn well then, before you whored yourself out for the cameras, hoping heād come back, that youād be in trouble. So you grit your teeth and try to breathe through the pain.Ā
āAm I making you all dumb, baby? Hm?ā Yunho chuckles, catching your mistake. Youāre so goddamn cute.Ā
You whine in response, blinking away tears. Your hands clench and unclench into fists in the sheets. He soothes your skin, particularly the area where he had been hitting you over and over again, with a lighter touch of his hand. The electronic candlelight flickers, making shadows dance upon the walls. The hand heās not using rests on your lower back, keeping you still beneath him. Not like youāre going anywhere anyway.Ā
Thereās a longer pause between hits, long enough to prompt you to look over your shoulder at him, curiosity getting the better of you. You canāt see much because of a strain in your neck, but itās clear that heās thinking about something. This isnāt over quite yet.Ā
He catches you looking back at him and the corners of his mouth lift slightly as he exhales.Ā
āCan you do something for me, baby?āĀ
Do you have a choice?Ā
āYes, Daddy, of course.ā You reply, voice a little unsteady.Ā
What was he planning now?Ā
Yunho trails his hand up and down the back of your thigh again, āThe next five I donāt want you to count. I want you to say our names again. In order⦠one for each spank. Understand?āĀ
āIn orderā. You bury your face back into the bed, grateful for the head rush that occurs as it creates a temporary white noise in your ears that you can focus on instead of his words. A half-cry, half-whine escapes you, muffled by the bedding. The hand that rests on your lower back suddenly moves up to the back of your neck, pressing you down as his fingers dig into the sides of your throat, cutting off your air.Ā
āAnswer me. Yes or no?āĀ
āYes, Daddy,ā you wheeze, barely audible, āI understand,āĀ
The next spank comes fast after you tell him that you understand your new rules for tonight ā your mouth is even still parted as you finish speaking. Itās hard enough to make you cry out before forcing yourself to pull it together. At least heās spanking a new area now and not worsening the already deep red bruise you know must be blooming across your ass.Ā Ā
āDaddy~ā You say as sweetly as you can. His cock twitches under your hip.Ā
āMhmm,ā he hums, his hand pulling back again.Ā
Seven. This one is the hardest of them all so far. You let out a short scream into the bed, the veins in your hands popping as you hold onto the sheets with a death grip. Whimpering and whining pathetically, you mumble out the next name, āM-Mingi.āĀ
Itās a struggle to say anything clearly and to enunciate even just two syllables.Ā
āKeep going, baby. Almost done.āĀ
Eight. Hongjoong.Ā
Nine. Seonghwa.Ā
Ten. Yeosang.Ā
You shake like a leaf, shoulders tense and up by your ears. And just when you think it is over, Yunho pushes you down by your lower back to make you arch for him, and nudges your legs apart.Ā
āApologize.āĀ
You swallow hard, lifting your chin up so your mouth isnāt pressed against the mattress.Ā
āIām s-sorry, Daddy,āĀ
āFor what?ā He asks, his hand groping your ass where he hit you.Ā
You stifle a whine, resisting the need to try and get away from his touch on your tender skin, āIām sorry for⦠touching what belongs to Daddy without permission.āĀ
Yunho hums before he delivers two smacks directly to your pussy. You cry out his name again, wanting desperately to try and get away from the hits, but you stay as still as possible. Admittedly, even though it stings a little, it does make you wet again.Ā
And he notices.Ā
After the third smack, his hand stays, rubbing up and down your folds and lightly tapping his fingers against your clit. Now youāre shaking for a different reason. You want him now.Ā
āDo you like being disciplined this much?ā Yunho asks, gliding his fingers through your folds. You could hide your face all you want, but he had an unobstructed view, a front row seat watching exactly how much effect he had on your body.Ā
He sighs, taking his time as he silently enjoys the barely audible sounds of how wet youāre becoming for him. He canāt wait to hear them increase in volume in just a few moments. Your hips instinctually and impatiently move backwards in hopes of increasing the pressure against you, but he pulls away each time. Heāll touch you on his own terms, not yours. You know that by now, itās just hard to remember sometimes.Ā
āStill donāt think you learned your lessonā¦ā he mumbles, moreso to himself than to you. āNext time I have to be away youāll just pull this little stunt again, wonāt you?āĀ
You try to be convincing, though you and him both know youāre lying, āNo, Daddy.ā
āNo?ā Yunho asks, slowly sinking a finger into you without warning, āAre you sure, doll?āĀ
Your body tenses at the intrusion, and your jaw goes slack at the feeling. As expected, just one of his already feels so much better than your earlier attempt with two of your own. A wanton moan escapes you as you finally get what youāve been craving all day.Ā
He chuckles again, āMy point exactly. Itās my responsibility to make sure you donāt want to try this again, right?ā His finger curls upwards inside of you and your back arches, hips once again pushing back to try to get him even deeper. Yunho tuts in disapproval, shoving you back down and removing his hand from your core completely.
āI have to discourage this type of behavior, donāt I? Canāt have my doll acting like a needy whore every time I leaveā¦ā
Ā Your breath catches in your throat at the word.Ā
āWhoreā.Ā
Heās never called or referred to you as that before. You arenāt sure if you like it ā after all, you are devoted to him and him alone, but perhaps itās fitting given your actions tonight as well as the times youāve let Yunhoās friends use your body. But āletā is an overstatement.Ā
He doesnāt exactly give you much time to ruminate on the word, pulling you up and onto his lap. Without another word, he shrugs his flannel off of his shoulders, discarding it somewhere onto the floor, and leans back onto one hand while the other finds purchase in your hair, near the nape of your neck, holding you still. You try not to shy away from his gaze, but youāre still somewhat embarrassed.Ā
āIāll give you what you want, baby. But youāre not going to like it.āĀ
Youāre not sure what he means, but you know it canāt be good.Ā
His smirk is lazy as he eyes you up and down like a starving man finally seeing a meal laid out in front of him. With his hands resting on your waist, he keeps you from moving too much.Ā Guiding you towards him by the back of your head, your lips meet in the middle, melding together seamlessly.Ā
His eyes flick down to his lap, where his cock is now tenting his sweatpants, rubbing up against your naked center. Pre-cum has already started to stain the fabric of it ā but he couldnāt be sure it wasnāt also your juices.Ā
Quicker than you can process, suddenly youāre underneath him, legs spread wide by his knees and pinned down by your wrists. Once he gathers your wrists in one hand again, he shoves his sweatpants down, followed by his boxers about mid-thigh. Too impatient to take them off fully for the time being.Ā
Before you can dare to peek down to see what heās doing, you feel the head of his cock pressing against you. Immediately you try to move your hands, wanting to push him away. You whine in panicked protest, looking up at him with round, frightened eyes.Ā
āNo. You donāt get any prep from me,ā he says, a finality to his tone, running the head of his cock up and down your folds, collecting the wetness from there before lining himself up at your entrance, āyou lost that privilege when you decided to act like a whore.āĀ
There it is again. Your bottom lip trembles, the word cutting you deep. Luckily, your mind goes blank as he pushes in about halfway without warning. You can feel his cock nearly ripping apart your walls, completely unprepared to take him. Tears stream down your face already, pain searing through you.Ā
āDaddy, please, please donātāā you beg, thoughtlessly. You know itās too late, and yet you still try to stop him.Ā
āAre you really trying to say ānoā to me?ā he growls.Ā Ā Ā
Oh GodāĀ
He sinks deeper inside, watching your face contort in pain the whole time. Without prep, it feels like heās taking your virginity all over again. His eyes threaten to roll back in his head at both the memory and the current feeling of your spasming pussy around his cock.Ā
He hums when you donāt say anything, āThatās what I thought. Itās not my fault you didnāt prepare yourself sufficiently. Not my fault you decided to break the rules, right?āĀ Ā
You bite your lip so hard you almost draw blood as your body locks up in pain. Thereās no adjustments you can make to take him easier, to lessen the aching discomfort. You can feel him everywhere. Even though his hands are nowhere near your throat, and thereās no pressure against your chest whatsoever, you feel suffocated. Only able to breathe in short gasps as he bottoms out.Ā
The only mercy he shows you is when he shoves a pillow beneath your hips, both to aid him as well as make you the slightest bit more comfortable as he pounds into you. Thatās the only comfort he offers you. Your poor center already feels sore and raw. You close your eyes, lips parted as you cry and moan.Ā
What seems to be another kindness given to you quickly turns into something torturous; he trails a hand down your abdomen, pressing down on your lower stomach for a few moments, making you moan louder for him, and finally stops right at your clit. It helps take your mind off of the gradually receding pain, and you thank him accordingly. He doesnāt say anything back to you, but leans down to kiss your cheek.Ā
He smirks when he feels you clench around him, bringing his hand up to his mouth to spit on his fingers before returning them to rub you again. He doesnāt look away from you. The bed creaks and groans, the headboard threatening to scrape the wall behind it.Ā
Thanks to his administrations on your sensitive bundle of nerves, your legs start to shake as pleasure finally finds you. The pain is still there as he bullies his way deep inside of you, but itās not as intense as it was. In no time at all, you can feel your climax building and building. And he can too.Ā
Yunho groans at how even tighter you feel around him the closer you get to the edge.Ā
āClose, doll? Hm?āĀ
āY-es, Daddy, Iām gonnaā¦ā you trail off as your body starts to lock up, back arching.Ā
And then he pulls away completely.Ā
Suddenly thereās nothing. Youāre empty, forced to only feel your climax disintegrate within you, so unbearably close to the edge. Something between a gasp and a cry leaves your throat, but Yunho doesnāt react. He kisses your cheek again, his lips trailing to your ear.Ā
āI told you that you werenāt gonna like it,ā he reminds you, grinding against your pussy, but not pushing back inside just yet, ācanāt have you pulling this shit again, so youāre not going to be coming tonight. At all.ā
Here you were thinking your only expense was the no prep to take him. You feel so stupid.
The worst part is he waits. He waits until he knows for sure that the next time he touches you, heās going to have to build up your orgasm from scratch.Ā
When he pulls away for the fifth time, leaving you hanging on the edge with no relief, you loudly sob, āPlease, Daddy, please Iām sorry! I wonāt do it again, Iām so sorry.āĀ Ā
āI know you are, baby,ā he hums, rubbing your inner thighs with his thumb, ājust be quiet and let Daddy decide whatās best for your little body right now.āĀ
After the seventh time he edges you, youāre just about ready to grovel at his feet, begging him to let you cum. But he was very clear: youāre not going to tonight. Meanwhile, heās already cum inside you after the fourth round. Each time after he pulls away, he drags out the wait time less and less, making it harder for you to hold it back when he restarts.Ā
Your eyes are glassy, unfocused, and youāre mumbling incoherent, rambling pleas that fall on deaf ears.Ā
āYou okay, doll?ā He asks, petting your hair after the eighth time, his seed filling you up again.Ā
āMhm,ā you sniffle, tears falling past your hairline. The ceiling blurs, offering nothing to try and concentrate on instead. Your whole body is a livewire, even the slightest touch can bring you right back to the edge once again. Now you just feel desperate in a whole other way.Ā
āGood girl,ā Yunho murmurs, teasing you just a bit more by slipping the same fingers he used to touch you into his mouth, licking them clean.Ā
He gives you a small break, masquerading his need for one as well. He turns you onto your side and moves behind you, his arm draping over your hip and pressing you back towards him. For about a minute or two, you both just breathe. Refueling oxygen for whatever comes next.Ā
Youāve successfully ignored the dull ache of being filled with his cum, with no release of your own. Another orgasm simmered below the surface this whole time, waiting to be denied again. It doesnāt help that his touch is electric.Ā
After another moment, he breaks the silence as he always does: abruptly.Ā
āTell me exactly what you were thinking of earlier.ā He says, keeping his lips pressed against the crown of your head.Ā
Ah⦠shit.
You clear your throat to stall for time, delaying having to say it out loud, āJust⦠about you and um⦠that night with the others.āĀ
Yunho hums, knowingly, āAnd did you enjoy yourself that night, baby?āĀ
Blushing profusely, you reply with a shy nod. Itās enough to satisfy him for now. Gently, he turns your face up towards him so he can see you better.Ā
āYeah?ā He asks, āYou want it again?āĀ
Again⦠yes, but altered, you think. Like how the first shared experience was: two and one. Smaller groups seem less daunting, less taxing on your body. Four was pushing your limits, especially if thatās how Yunho will end it. You imagine if, and or when, you meet the remaining three, heāll want to show you off again. Two is a bit more intimate. No need for gravitas or anything extra, and youāre able to focus on each of them better. Only one other also might be easier for Yunho to keep control of everything. You squeeze your thighs together as subtly as possible.
He reads the initial look on your face, āNo?āĀ
You bite your lip at first, almost too timid to tell him your request, āNo, no, itās⦠maybe only two at a time next time?āĀ
Nice. Very eloquent. God, Y/N.Ā
Thankfully, he doesnāt look mad in any way, not even annoyed. He sits with your words, mulling them over for a few moments.Ā
āWould that make you more comfortable, baby?ā He asks.Ā
You blink, not expecting that speaking up about what youād like would go this smoothly. Heās definitely acting rather unpredictable tonight. Again, you just nod āyesā. You turn your body over so that youāre facing him, suddenly needing to be as close to him as possible, maybe to show your appreciation. His hand now presses into your back, keeping you close. Just as intended.Ā
But he sighs. Vocally, to get your attention. Not that he didnāt have it in the first place.Ā
āDaddy?ā You look up at him with round, nervous eyes.Ā
Yunho rubs your back as he says, āYou were perfect with four, or⦠I thought you were. If you wanna go back to only two at a time, then thatās fine. But if youāre gonna be as good a doll as I think you can be, youāre gonna potentially need to be able to handle eight. Understand, baby?āĀ
Your throat dries like the Sahara. Did he⦠not think you were perfect anymore because you said that? You donāt even register the part where he says eight.Ā
āI understand, Daddy,ā you sniffle, trying to hide your face in his chest.Ā
He looks down, leaning back a little to try and see you properly. āWhatās wrong, baby?āĀ
But he knows full well what he says sets you off. It was meant to. He crafted his reply with articulate, hand-crafted manipulation, and it pays off beautifully. You whine against him, holding back tears ā as you always seem to do around him ā and holding him tighter, afraid heāll let go first. In your defense though, you had just been edged about eight times, so your hormones were not particularly thrilled in the first place. Youāre just overwhelmed.Ā Ā Ā
āAww, poor thingā¦ā he coos, āDaddyās still so proud of you. Needing to build up to it is okay, itās gonna take time. But god, baby,ā you feel his cock twitch against your stomach. Filthy images of you taking all of them flood his brain. He groans, sin incarnate. āYouāre gonna look so good in the middle of all of us⦠fucked out and helpless. Theyāll come around to the idea, donāt worry. And when they do, Iāll make sure youāre ready for them.āĀ
Heās ready again, having worked himself up. You moan when his hand finds your nipple again, and soon he reconnects your lips to his.Ā
āCan I fill you up one more time, baby?ā He asks against your lips, already grinding into you again. He asks, but you donāt have a choice either way.Ā
āYes, Daddy. Pleaseāā you barely finish your sentence before heās on top of you once more, spitting onto his fingers to stroke his cock.Ā
He doesnāt give you any preparation this time either. He sinks in, but not without resistance from your body. The grip around him almost chokes his cock, and he grunts as he forces himself deeper. You wince, nails digging into his shoulders. At least once he bottoms out, and the head of his cock hits that sweet spot deep inside, it feels a little better. You wrap your legs around his waist, and let him use you again. Itās hard to try to ignore how good he feels, willing your body to disregard everything.Ā
But his filthy words that he mutters next to your ear are harder to avoid, āPussyās always so eager to take me, isnāt it? So fucking greedy⦠tight and wet for me. Fuck⦠gonna be such a good girl for us, arenāt you?āĀ
āYes, Daddy, Iāll be good,ā you whimper, squeezing your eyes shut as the forbidden pleasure builds. He can feel it too as you tighten around him even more.Ā
The harder he thrusts into you, the more of your mind you lose. Itās like heās literally fucking all thoughts out of your head. All you can concentrate on is trying to not cum. Itās a torturous effort for the ninth time.Ā
Luckily, heās still somewhat sensitive from coming two times before. He pushes your legs back, your knees against your chest to get deeper, and you bite your lip in anguish. He swears under his breath, feeling more of your juices gush around his length. He almost feels bad for you, almost lets you cum. But then what about the point heās trying to make? He taught it to Mingi, and now he is teaching you: do not touch what belongs to him without permission.Ā Ā
He kisses your calf, keeping his lips and cheek pressed against it. He looks up at you through his lashes.Ā
āDonāt.ā He growls when your legs start shaking violently, your back arching off the mattress. āKeep taking me, baby. āM almost there. Hold it for me.āĀ
You suppress a moan, trying to tense your body, but that only proves to encourage Yunho more as your pussy contracts and pulses.Ā
All hell threatens to break loose when he changes positions, trapping you in a mating press. If you thought it couldnāt get any more maddening, you are quickly proven wrong. You scream, forced to feel every single last inch of him pounding into you deep and hard. The wet, squelching sounds your pussy makes increase in volume, gushing around his cock.Ā
āDaddy, please,ā you try again, even though you know itās hopeless, āplease, I canātāāĀ
āYes you can, doll. You can keep being good for me, right?āĀ
Itās right there, just in reach. You wonder if you can try to fake that you didnāt cum, but you know heāll know. He always will just know. All you can do is sob, pray that heāll cum soon and you'll be spared any additional disciplining.Ā
āNever gonna act like an attention whore again, are you, doll?ā He groans, licking up the side of your neck.Ā
You vehemently shake your head ānoā, āNo, Daddy, I promise!āĀ
He swears under his breath, looking down to watch his whole length disappearing inside of you over and over again. Your hands move from his shoulders to his hair and his cheek, guiding him down to kiss him. You desperately need a distraction. He returns the kiss eagerly, moaning into your mouth.Ā
āPlease, Daddy, please please pleaseāā youāre not sure exactly whether youāre begging him to cum or to let you cum, but either one youāll gladly take, as long as either one happens right now. Now teetering on the edge, flirting with danger, youāre desperate.Ā
āShhh⦠good girl. My good girl. Want Daddy to cum inside? Hm?āĀ
You almost swear too, but are able to bite your tongue. āYes, Daddy, please, I want it.āĀ
He slams into you, chasing his third high with a vengeance. Your hand in his hair grips it at the roots, but he doesnāt mind at all. If anything, it spurs him on even more. His possessiveness kicks into high gear as he finally releases inside of you, this time the hardest heās cum so far tonight.Ā
āFuck, babyā¦ā he groans, still languidly grinding into you, not letting a single drop go to waste. He makes sure heās completely empty before he pulls out. Your body is on fire, so close to coming still, and so stiff as if in self-defense mode.Ā
Youāre not fully aware of everything around you for a long while. Occasionally, you can feel Yunhoās lips against your skin, kissing your jaw, mouthing at your chest. His hands keep your legs spread, and his dark eyes watch his cum try to drip out. You let him. You just drift, body still pleading for closure only to be left high and dry.Ā
Maybe you are a bit spoiled⦠heās never edged you like this before. Then again ā you never did anything like what you did a couple hours ago before now either. Youāre not used to this feeling. Almost empty, incomplete. Unsatisfied. Itās foreign to you, and even stranger still that itās because of Yunho. But you broke the rules, and this is your hard-learned lesson, like it or not.Ā
While youāre in your head, you can just barely hear him speaking to you. You fight through your fog to hear him, but truth be told, you have no idea what he just said. He smirks, thankfully finding your hazy stupor adorable. All his own work, his most promising work-in-progress.Ā
āI asked you if youād wanna meet Sannie, Wooyoung and Jongho soon.ā He repeats, pulling the covers up and over your body.Ā
āYes⦠Iād like to.ā You say without thinking, your brain is only now beginning to reconstruct itself from the mush it had been a couple minutes ago. Just three more to go⦠and then would he consider you perfect? You arenāt very sure. But thinking in depth really isnāt in the cards for you right this minute. The best you can do for now is to just let Yunho take care of it, like he always does, and relinquish control completely once more.Ā
He holds you lazily in his arms, letting you make yourself comfortable in whatever position you choose, and kisses the crown of your head again, his mouth lingering there momentarily. Youāre starting to think he somehow laces himself with Nyquil or something, because it seems like you pass out rather quickly after sex with him. Maybe itās just physically taxing. You yawn as if to prove your own theory and nuzzle into him.Ā
āGo to sleep, baby,ā he says softly, āyouāll get your reward in the morning.ā
The backs of your eyelids are orange as you gradually wake up, feeling a warmth covering your face and shoulders. You blink into the light, shielding your eyes from the blinding, rising sun coming in through the window with your hand. It takes you a minute to realize the curtains are completely drawn back, the windows open almost halfway. You sit up, staring at it in disbelief.Ā
The bedroom door is wide open, revealing more natural light pouring into the rest of the apartment as well. You tear the covers off of you, throwing on one of Yunhoās oversized t-shirts and heading out to investigate. You find him in the kitchen, making breakfast. A quick glance at the digital clock on the stove tells you that itās six-thirty ā very early for you, especially after last night. You wouldāve imagined youād sleep in, but maybe the smell of cooking woke you up early.Ā
Yunho looks over his shoulder at you when he hears you enter. āGood morning, baby,ā he smiles, wiping his hands with a paper towel before heading over to you. In the light, his beauty seems even more angelic. He picks you up and sets you on the counter, and you wrap your legs around him, giggling shyly. He kisses you tenderly, in no rush whatsoever. You hum against his mouth, giddy all of a sudden.Ā
He smiles again, giving you one more peck before pulling away.Ā
āWould you like your reward now?ā He asks, tilting his head.Ā
Your heart leaps in excitement. āReally? Iām getting it now?āĀ
Yunho laughs at how cute you are, kissing you again. You throw your arms around his shoulders, hugging him tight.Ā
āI promised you, didnāt I?ā He brushes your hair back over your shoulder, exposing your neck a bit more. āLet me finish this first, and then you can have it. Alright?āĀ
You nod, kicking your feet happily as you watch him continue cooking ā it looks like gyeran bap and jeon from what you can see of it from this angle. It was rare for Yunho to make breakfast for you two, especially on the morning of a workday. In fact, you canāt remember the last time heās done this. But that makes today all the more special. He was serious, and he kept his promise. You canāt wait to find out what the reward will be.Ā
Once the stove is turned off, and all thatās left to be finished is the rice in the rice cooker, Yunho helps you off the counter and leads you into the living room.Ā
āClose your eyes for me?ā He prompts. You do so immediately. You canāt contain your excitement, a smile already threatening to crack open your lips. Thereās a small clicking sound, followed by creaking hinges. Suddenly the apartment is colder, your small world louder than before. Itās the same rush of sound you heard when Yeosang came in fromā¦
Yunho takes your hand, guiding you forward. You can feel the temperature shift even more. The flooring underneath your feet changes to something harder, more sturdy.Ā
āYou can have five minutes now, and ten tonight,ā he says. You begin to shake, hoping against hope that this is really what youāve been dreaming of for months. āOkay, open your eyes, baby.āĀ Ā
Ohā¦
Your lungs expel all the air inside of them at the sight. Youāre outside. For the first couple seconds, youāre nervous, though youāre not quite sure why. The cold wind pushes your hair to the side, weaving through it, and makes you shiver. You take a small step back, completely overwhelmed.Ā Ā
The first full breath of fresh air almost breaks you. The air is unforgiving once in your lungs, freezing them over, but you donāt mind at all. In fact you inhale as much as you can until you physically canāt anymore, barely breathing out, wanting to hoard it all. You grip the cold railing with both hands, like a passenger on a sinking ship. Your head is dizzy from the height as you look down, higher above the city than you thought. Itās all sprawled out below you, still half-asleep and grey, oblivious to the awakening sky overhead. Early bird commuters crawl by in their cars below, another day of work ahead of them. Cafes rush to prepare for the onslaught of hungry, in need of caffeine customers, baking and cleaning in their regular routines. Itās still a bit too early for school, but you do see a couple students beginning their walk to the subway stations and bus stops. The Han River glistens bright orange under the sun, and drifts downstream, lapping lazily at the shores, and getting its picture taken by a couple of tourists and morning runners.Ā
Glancing to your left, you see that itās less so a balcony, and more like a mini terrace. Youād only ever seen just one angle of it, very briefly when the curtains werenāt drawn. It stretched out towards the left, two chairs with a little table between them sat outside the bedroom windows. Yeosang mightāve used one of them that night before he came back in. But you donāt explore this ānewā area. You just take it in visually. Now you know itās there. Your hands slide over the railing absentmindedly, the smoothness of it calming down your hammering heart.Ā
You canāt feel completely happy about it, like you thought you would be. What it really means to be let out onto the balcony is that everyone has stopped looking for you. The police have nothing, and the public forgot about you. Itās an empty happiness, a freedom that comes with a price. What would freedom even look like for you now? Being outside makes your stomach churn, and your nervous system spirals due to the overstimulation. Itās all suddenly too much. How would you survive outside like this? Anywhere for that matter? You craved to be out for so long, to taste the air once more, and all it does in the end is frighten you. Turns out that freedom suffocates you worse than confinement. Heās been right this whole time: you should stay here. You need to stay here.Ā
You step back again. Yunho watches.Ā Ā Ā
With two minutes left in your time, you take one more refreshing deep breath before turning to face him. Your bottom lip quivers a bit, but you hide it by smiling at him.
āThank you,ā you whisper, standing on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek, ācan we go back in, please?āĀ
Yunho blinks, surprised. He wouldāve bet anything that youād beg him for more time out here.
āIt was only three minutes, baby.ā He says, checking his watch to verify that he was right. āYou sure?āĀ
You nod, keeping your eyes cast downward, āItās enough.āĀ
In his temporary astonishment, he just nods and opens the door for you, eyes following you as the apartment swallows you up again. Yunho lingers on the balcony for half a moment longer. He watches you set the table for the breakfast he made, falling back into your regular routine like your biggest dream didnāt just come true. You turn your back on the dawn like it was the easiest decision in your life.Ā
He isnāt sure what to think. But he knows heāll just have to give you a part two to your reward later tonight. In fact, since heās suddenly feeling extra nice, he might just give someone another chance with you tonight.Ā
Subtle Distance? ATEEZ Membersā Dynamic Sparks Debate After Latest Performance
Clip Goes Viral of ATEEZ Members Avoiding Yunho Onstage
ATEEZ Fans Worry: āDid Something Happen Between Them?ā
Mr. Kim, the KQ CEO, takes off his glasses, attempting to rub the stress of the last couple weeks from his eyes. The other eight men in the room are avoiding eye contact with him anyway. The headlines stare back at them accusingly, blown up in size on the projector screen off to their right. They all look like kids who got sent to the Principalās office, their mischief caught on tape and shown back to them so thereās nowhere to hide from the truth. Yeosang pulls his face mask up just a bit higher on his nose. The air in the soundproof conference room is tense, almost clinical in a way. The PR team waits in the corner like a jury, occasionally taking sips of their coffee, sitting with the silence as they wait for the final verdict of what they will tell the public.Ā
Jongho and Seonghwa take turns glaring at Yunho after the headlines are read out to them, one by one. Hongjoongās hands ball into fists, uncharacteristically keeping his head down. He took one for the team, sitting right next to Yunho at this emergency meeting. It was the least he could do.Ā
āCan anyone tell me what this is all about?ā Mr. Kim asks. His voice is tired, evident that he didnāt get much sleep last night. If he gives it two more days, the dark circles under his eyes will match Hongjoongās.Ā Ā Ā
Mingi stares out the window, his hand subconsciously protecting his forearm over his sweatshirt sleeve. He doesnāt plan to speak at all during this meeting, much like the rest of them. Itās Hongjoong that bears the weight of answering for all of them, even when it should be Yunho. He canāt watch it unfold ā hearing it will be hard enough.Ā
Heās hiding something from them all ā not just his gruesome injuries from the fans and staff, but another thing entirely. He thinks Yeosang may have caught on already, but he refuses to tell anyone outright, his paranoia convincing him that Yunho will find out somehow. Itās too important to fail. So he keeps it close to the chest, not saying a damn word to anyone about it. Only providing hints through his actions the past few days ā becoming Yunhoās little sycophant, a sidekick essentially for him. It didnāt happen overnight, no, it had to be gradual to be convincing. The rest of the group took it as a fear response and didnāt judge or say anything to him about it, accepting that it was just him trying to stay out of trouble, but little did they know it was much deeper than that.Ā Ā
San looks at Wooyoung and Yeosang out of the corner of his eye, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He mentioned to them that he wanted to tell the CEO everything. What could Yunho do to hurt them with their staff present? But Yeosang was scared. Yunho had a way of sweet-talking his way out of everything, surely he would be ready if they tried to do that to him. And then theyād all be screwed, and theyād end up likeā¦Ā
Well, it just wouldnāt end well.Ā
So San bites his tongue for their sake, his foot touching Wooyoungās under the table for some semblance of comfort. It doesnāt help much but itās something. Like holding his favorite stuffed animal from childhood in the middle of a warzone ā it will do nothing to protect him in the long run, but itās a solace amidst the chaos. Especially when the enemy threat is sitting only two chairs away from him.Ā
Hongjoong wets his bottom lip before finally speaking, trying to carefully craft an answer the CEO will believe while also appeasing Yunho, āWeāve been having some⦠personal disagreements and some internal conflict, but weāre working on that. The cameras just caught us on a rough week. Iām sorry for this.ā He says, gesturing to the headlines. His voice is smaller than it usually is in previous meetings. Unwavering, steady guilt punctuates every word. The words sneer and laugh at him when he turns away. He folds his hands in his lap, making room to take all the guilt and blame that is surely coming his way for letting this get so out of hand, and not keeping everybody in check. For allowing the public to see cracks in their image.Ā Ā
āIf youāve been working on it, I wouldāve expected some progress by now. You all have been acting like this for weeks. Most of your staff have expressed concern about you. If we see it, the fans sure as hell see it. And if the fans see it, the press sees it.āĀ
Hongjoong nods, solemnly. All he can do is agree ā Mr. Kim is exactly right. He was so focused on the members and their well-being that he neglected to preserve the picture-perfect idol image they had in public. He always meant to try and fix that next, but it just hasnāt been at the forefront of his mind lately, as it shouldāve been. And now the world can see that theyāre strained. Theyāre not the family they were only mere weeks ago.Ā
Mr. Kim turns to Hongjoong. āIf something or someone is disrupting the team dynamic, itās your job to deal with it. So why havenāt you?āĀ
Again, no one says a word. Not a single sound from the usually rambunctious, upbeat group. Even the PR team and the managers take notice of the strangeness in their sudden behavioral changes. Hongjoong nervously bounces his leg below the table. He can feel everyone looking at him and it causes the hair on the back of his neck to stand up. Yunhoās gaze on him is especially skin-crawling.Ā
āIā¦ā he clears his throat before continuing, āYes sir, it is. Iāve been trying to take care of everyone and make sure weāre focusedāāĀ
āObviously not trying hard enough.ā Mr. Kim interrupts, side-eyeing Mingi who shrinks back in his seat. This whole ordeal must have really pissed their CEO off⦠plus the fact they canāt tell him what exactly is going on doesnāt help. They know heās just stressed, and wants them to succeed. Thatās all he wants to do: help them so they can get past this. But he has no way of knowing that this isnāt a simple dating scandal or a misunderstanding blown out of proportion āĀ this is a crime syndicate built by coerced accomplices, complicit under duress.Ā
The irritation Mr. Kim feels is clear to everyone in the room. Itās so tangible it makes everyone else afraid to speak unless spoken to.Ā
Except for one.Ā
āMr. Kim?āĀ
Jongho speaks up. All eyes snap to him, in fear, in surprise, in anticipation. He can almost feel all of them silently telling him to not say anything with their panicked gazes. But Jongho continues. Itās not what they fear it is.Ā
āSir, none of this started because of Hongjoong. Heās been doing his best to fix it.ā
Yunho crosses his legs in his seat, his eyebrows raising a little as he looks between the CEO, Jongho, and Hongjoong.Ā
āFix itā, huh? Interesting.Ā
He drums his fingers against the tabletop, knowing he should cool his glare towards Hongjoong, but unable to help himself. Did he have to dig into his captain a little deeper? He doesnāt mind or care if he has to do it to every single one of them to get them to comply. It sure would make everything a whole lot easier. Seems like the maknae already forgot whoās actually in charge here as well.Ā
Immediately, Mingi and Yeosang tense at Jonghoās wording. Heās implying it started because of someone else, which may be true, but is rather ballsy to place the blame right under Yunhoās nose, indirectly or not.Ā Ā Ā
āI donāt care who started what, or even what this is all about. I care about who is letting this continue.ā Mr. Kim says with a certain bite to his tone.Ā
Six men split. Half looking to Yunho, the other looking to Hongjoong. Neither return their glances. Hongjoongās jaw is set tight, staring at the table like it owed him money. Yunho simply leans back in his chair, listening to Mr. Kim like a student in a lecture hall. Unbothered. Bored, even.Ā
Seonghwa tears his eyes from Yunho to look back at Mr. Kim, āSir, itās not just one of us, weāre all at some faultāā
āItās fine.ā Hongjoong murmurs to him. Seonghwa wants to argue, stand up for him more, but just by looking at his friend, he can tell that will only make him feel worse.Ā
āWhat about you, Mingi? Care to explain any of this?ā Mr. Kim addresses him directly, turning in his chair a little to face him head on.Ā
Mingi freezes, looking up at the CEO like a deer in headlights before regaining some composure. From under the table, next to him, Yeosang places his hand on his knee in an attempt to comfort him under the sudden pressure. All the eyes in the room turn to him now.Ā
āNo, sir.ā He manages, clearing his throat awkwardly.Ā
Mr. Kim sighs in frustration, tapping his fingers along the tabletop. āNo? Nothing to explain? No reason why you havenāt been able to do the choreo lately? No reason for the change in behavior?āĀ
Mingi takes as deep a breath as he can, given his injury. Again, he insists, āNo, sir.āĀ
From the other end of the row of chairs, Yunho hides a smirk behind his hand, feigning a small yawn. He has to purse his lips a little in order to stop it from growing.
Mr. Kim sighs, āIf no one can tell me whatās going on, then I have no choice but to put you all on hiatus. Effective immediately.āĀ
The word hits the seven of them like a slap in the face. Hiatus? Now? With the comeback in just two months? He couldnāt be serious. The fans would be so worried, not to mention the speculation as to why the whole group has to step away so suddenly.Ā
Alternatively, the word only serves to lift a weight from Yunhoās shoulders. This is exactly what he needs: time. Sure, he loves his job, loves performing onstage and going to events and meeting fans, but this could not have come at a better time. A chance to solely focus on you, and his plans for you and the group.Ā
āFor how long?ā Wooyoung asks quietly, afraid to know the answer.Ā
āIndefinitely,ā Mr. Kim says, blunt and final, āunless someone wants to tell me how we can fix whateverās going on right now.āĀ
Isnāt that the million dollar question, San thinks bitterly.Ā
Thereās a thick silence that settles in the middle of them all. The PR team are busy in the corner, already drafting a notice, no doubt with surgically precise writing. Tailored to maintain the image and the fantasy of perfection. Nothing was wrong! It was a group decision to step back and take a small break. In fact, they wonāt even call it a hiatus ā itāll be referred to as a break. An opportunity given to them to see family, unwind, mentally and physically relax. The company will reassure worried fans that this was a unanimous, amicable decision, and that the members will still be active on Fromm, TokToq, and Instagram from time to time. They will even give a rough estimate for the groupās return: Weāll welcome them back in two weeks! Please wait for ATEEZ~Ā
āIf no one else has anything to say, then this meeting is over. Your schedules today have been cancelled. Go home, rest. Take some time away, do whatever you need to pull yourselves together. I want us back here in two weeks, better than ever and ready to work as a team. Understand?āĀ
They all mumble in reluctant agreement. The room empties slowly now that the meeting has concluded, the sound of chairs pushing back and mumbling āthank youāsā during polite bows fading into silence.Ā
Yunho is the only one seeming unbothered, and Mr. Kim notices. He watches him the whole time as he walks out first, shrugging his flannel on. Something tugs at the back of his mind. Somethingās off. Yunho exits the room like he just landed a good business deal. Like nothing said in the conference room was any worry to him at all ā in fact, on the contrary. It seems to be exactly what he wanted. Mingi follows behind him.Ā
The PR team filters out as well, noses buried in notebooks and phones, scribbling and typing away, discussing word choice and social media strategy on how to announce the news. One manager, Yunhoās, hesitates before leaving. He steps aside a few feet from the doorway, looking back at his boss like heād like to say something, but ultimately decides against it. He bows again when eye contact is briefly made between him and Mr. Kim and hurries out, rushing to catch up with Yunho before he leaves.Ā Ā
Hongjoong is the last to stand up, only snapping back into awareness when Seonghwa gingerly touches his shoulder. Heās shaking slightly, and his throat is dry. Even the CEO of the whole damn company doubts him. Seonghwa stays close to him, ready to attempt to comfort him once out of earshot of everyone else. But he knows itās probably a lost cause. At least for now.Ā
āHongjoong,ā calls Mr. Kim from the head of the table, āstay back for a minute, please.āĀ
Oh, shit.Ā
He sinks back down in his seat, unsure of how much more he can take. Running a hand through his messy hair, he takes a deep breath. He isnāt ready to hear what he knows Mr. Kim is going to say, but itās not up to him to decide when he does hear it. In his head, he goes over the little script he and Seonghwa came up with in the case that anyone asks what is going on ā be vague and deflect.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
Mr. Kim doesnāt look up from his laptop at first. āSit,ā he says, voice flat but heavy with authority. Hongjoong obeys. His palms are damp, resting on his knees. Mr. Kim leans back in his chair, rubbing a hand down his face.Ā
Only when the door clicks shut does Mr. Kim speak again. āDo you know what I see, Hongjoong?ā
Hongjoong blinks, unsure if itās rhetorical. āSirā?ā
āIāve seen this happen before in this industry, and Iām watching it happen now. Your group is in a freefall,ā he interrupts. āThe weird tension on stage, cold shoulders in interviews, one of your members disappearing from himself entirely, and you sitting there pretending everything is normal.āĀ
Hongjoongās throat is tight. āItās temporary,ā he manages, āthe group has been working through something personal recently, but I canāā
āNo,ā Mr. Kim says, cutting him off again, āwhatever it is that you think you can do or are doing to fix this, you canāt. If you could, we wouldnāt be here discussing how bad itās become.ā His tone isnāt raised, but itās almost worse that itās calm. Matter-of-fact. āI trusted you to be the one that holds this group together. I trusted you to set the example. And Iām not seeing that from you lately.ā
āAnd I am,ā Hongjoong insists, the words tumbling out a bit too fast. āI promise Iām taking care of everything. Iām just trying to fix it without making things worse.ā
Mr. Kim leans forward now, clasping his hands on the table.āHongjoong, what is going on? What canāt you tell me?āĀ
Hongjoong presses his lips into a thin line, looking down at the desk. āItās justā¦ā he begins to say, but he canāt find a suitable nor believable ending to his alibi.Ā
The CEO sighs through his nose, fingers drumming once against the table before stopping. āIf you canāt handle this,ā he says, every word slow and precise, āIāll find someone who can.ā
The message hits him like a runaway train.Ā
Hongjoong sits there, motionless. Thereās nothing to say. He canāt tell him the truth. He canāt explain the cameras, or the fear, or the way Yunhoās shadow stretches over all of them even when heās not in the same room. So he just nods, quietly, the weight of failure settling deep into his chest.
The CEO stands, straightening his jacket, having delivered the damage he meant to give to him. But before he leaves, he looks back at the man in the chair opposite his. He still sees the bright red hair, a mixtape, an enviable creativity and sense of responsibility, and a work ethic built from nothing but pure passion and drive. He knows first hand how hard Hongjoong works, often to the bone unless heās forced to stop, how selfless a man heās grown up to be. Mr. Kim hates to be hard on someone he considers to be like a son to him, but itās tough love. Besides, when it comes to people like Hongjoong, when their abilities are questioned, they will often go out of their way to prove the world wrong.Ā
Mr. Kim pats Hongjoong on the shoulder. āTake a couple weeks,ā he suggests, āand come back when you remember how to lead.ā
Hongjoong doesnāt move until the door closes again. Then, finally, he lets out the breath heās been holding and stares down at his trembling hands. Isolated again. Singled out as the weak link. Heās not doing enough, clearly, but if thatās the case, why does he feel like heās losing a part of himself with the stress every single day?Ā
Seonghwa waits outside the door, listening to what the CEO says. His heart wrenches. If not Hongjoong then who? There was no one better suited for the role than him, there was just no way in hell the company would ever actually strip him of his role because of this one thing. He has hope. And thatās more than most of the rest of them can say right now.
Hongjoong spends most of the day in his studio, resistant to Seonghwa telling him to take a break. If he goes home, heāll just lie awake and think himself into oblivion. He canāt do that. Instead, he pours all of his concentration and frustration into producing, writing, recording demos. Things he knows heās good at.Ā
After about six hours holed up in there, he finally takes the headphones off of his ears and sets them down on the desk next to his keyboard. He didnāt finish a single demo, his mind too all over the place to focus solely on one.Ā
He and Wooyoung reconvene late that afternoon at Seonghwaās, Sanās, and Mingiās dorm. They coordinate the time in a new group chat, excluding Yunho. It had been created once Hongjoong had returned Yeosangās phone to him. Yeosang had shown up at Hongjoongās dorm very late the night the last three found out, in search of it. Hongjoong was just thankful that he came back unharmed.Ā
Jongho was staying back, claiming he was fine and just wanted to sleep today off. Yeosang says something to the same effect. No one can blame them for wanting time to themselves, just to sleep and escape thinking about their situation. San and Mingi stay in their rooms for the first hour that Hongjoong and Wooyoung are there, slowly emerging one by one into the living room and perching themselves on the couch.Ā
Nothing new is really said, itās less than an official meeting to talk about everything, and more so an opportunity for whoever needs it to not feel alone. The main topic is the hiatus, and how worried they are about their fans receiving the news. Itāll go live tomorrow morning, so they have the whole night ahead of them to dwell on it. Theyāre also concerned that now that there is more time in the day, Yunho might escalate. Mingi doesnāt say much outside of nodding along to something said that he agreed with from time to time.Ā
Once it turns nine oāclock, San goes to bed quite early, bidding goodnights to the guys before disappearing back into his room. Wooyoung goes with him, just about ready to collapse into bed as well, even if itās not his own. San doesnāt mind, he never really does. He automatically shifts over to make room for him, lifting the covers for him with his eyes closed when he hears his door open and close again.Ā
In the living room, both Seonghwa and Hongjoong are surprised that Mingi doesnāt retreat to his room as well. He stays stock still on the couch, biting his lip like heās not sure if he should say something on his mind or not. They donāt push him, but they do hope he says whatever it is. Seonghwa quietly gets up, volunteering to make ramen for them all, and goes into the kitchen to prepare the food, leaving just Hongjoong and Mingi together.Ā Ā
For a while, they just listen to the miscellaneous noises coming from the kitchen. Both of them have words on the tips of their tongues, but neither want to be the first to let them out. Hongjoong looks up at Seonghwa, aiming to watch him cook for a few moments, only to find that heās looking at him over his shoulder as he stirs. His chin jerks up and he raises his eyebrows, indicating that he should say something to Mingi before turning back around to add the spices.Ā
The best he can come up with to break the silence is, āHow are you?āĀ
Mingi shifts and clears his throat before answering.Ā
āIām okay. I mean, itās healing kinda slow but.ā He lifts his engraved arm a little off the couch, his opposite hand once again covering it to protect it once he lowers it back down.
āNo, I mean you. Not your injuries.ā Hongjoong clarifies, leaning forward a little.Ā
At first, Mingi isnāt sure how to respond. He doesnāt have an immediate answer to his question. Itās weighted too heavily with complicated layers needed for the reply that Mingi just canāt bring himself to think through yet. His ribs still ache with every breath, every miniscule movement.Ā
He supposes the short, honest answer is ānoā. But after the meeting today, heās not sure he can honestly tell Hongjoong that and discourage him even more. He truly has been doing so much for the group; being there for them, answering every question to the best of his ability, ordering them food without any of them needing to ask, and texting them each individually throughout the day to check in, offering support if they need it. All while trying to not crumble under the pressure of not letting them fall as best he can.Ā
So he lies. As many of them are to him when asked the same question.Ā
āYeah, Iām fine. Donāt worry.ā Mingi tries a smile, but only manages to lift the corners of his mouth a little. Hongjoong doesnāt completely buy it, but again, he doesnāt push him.Ā
They both watch Seonghwa for another few seconds in silence.Ā
āMin, umā¦ā Hongjoong mutters, ācan I ask you a hard question?"
Uh oh. Mingi shifts again, uncomfortably and anxiously. This could be about anything, though he has an idea about what heās going to ask. Something about you.Ā
Seonghwa throws the last packet of ramen into the pot of boiling water, stirring it and humming quietly to himself. Anything to act normal. To act strong for his best friend. Heās glad his back is turned to him now, though.Ā Ā Ā
Hongjoong picks at his nails, delaying himself. Not one single ounce of him wants to ask him this, but itās something thatās been haunting him for the past couple weeks. The same question everyoneās been avoiding. Mingi nods once, looking down at the floor.Ā Ā
āMin, we⦠we raped her, didnāt we?āĀ
The violent word hangs in the air between them. Something clatters to the floor in the kitchen, Seonghwa, instead of bending down to grab whatever fell, just looks over his shoulder again at the two of them.Ā
He continues, his voice wavering, āIāve been trying to tell myself we didnāt⦠but you canāt consent if youāreā you know I would have neverā if I had knownāāĀ
It feels otherworldly to Seonghwa and Mingi to watch Hongjoong begin to break down. Itās such a shock to the system, they don't even know what to do at first. Thereās absolutely no way to reassure him, not when itās technically true. Seonghwa leans back against the counter in a daze. Heās had the same thought, but always pushed it away, talked himself out of it based on that technicality ā they didnāt know, and it seemed to them that you genuinely wanted it to happen. How true that really was, they donāt know.Ā
And thatās what eats them all alive.Ā
Mingi had accepted it a while ago, hence his morose aura that looms over him like a permanent stormcloud above his head. He doesnāt need to say yes, he just needs to be here for Hongjoong as he finally says it out loud. Seonghwa wants to sprint to the shower, suddenly feeling unclean and disgusting, needing to scrub away any trace left of the truth of what heās done. What heās become. What Yunho turned him into.Ā
Hongjoong canāt suppress the stray sob that leaps from his throat. Itās a broken, dejected sound that rips their hearts to pieces. Their leader, their captain, always the strong foundation of the group, always the backbone, now sat brittle on the couch, like one more strained word will cause him to disintegrate before their eyes. He covers his face with his hand, ashamed of himself for crying in front of the two of them. Ashamed of being weak.Ā
How is he supposed to protect them when he canāt even protect himself?
Mingi wordlessly moves to sit next to Hongjoong, throwing an arm around his shoulders. Itās not long until Seonghwa joins as well, rubbing his back and letting him lean into his side.Ā
āNo matter what, weāll always have that on our backs,ā Hongjoong continues, managing to speak beneath his tears, āweāll always be that.āĀ Ā
āWeāre not bad peopleā¦ā Seonghwa says as he tries to believe it himself. Mingi wants to scoff through his nose, to laugh bitterly, but thinks twice before doing so. There was no room for pessimism right now. Instead, keeping quiet forces him to sit with Seonghwaās words. Heās so convinced that heās a bad person himself, but he refuses to believe any of the others caught in the same trap are at any fault whatsoever. He wonders if anyone else thinks the same as him, particularly Hongjoong. Itās a tricky thing. A powerful kind of self-reflection that latches itself in the back of their minds for later.Ā
āAre we good people just because we know what we did was wrong?ā Hongjoong laments. Itās a struggle to get each word out as he cries while simultaneously trying to pull himself together.Ā
After another couple of minutes, he exhales. āI just⦠I canāt stop thinking about what she mustāve felt. What she must still be feeling. How afraid she must be that itāll happen again.āĀ Ā
Mingi looks down, fingers tightening around his knee.Ā
āTo be fair, I donāt think itās us sheās afraid of,ā he says. Hongjoong half-heartedly shrugs, but nods anyway. Maybe heās right.Ā
āSheās just trying to survive him, like we all are, but⦠I donāt know, I just⦠I just want her to feel safe again.ā
His words carry the same effect as a confession. Seonghwaās eyes meet Mingiās. He studies him for a moment, the way his voice softens when he says her. The way the guilt twists into something gentler, something that heās heard from him before whenever the subject of you is brought up. And from what he saw between you two that night. He and Yeosang had talked about it, albeit vaguely ā the less people that know, the safer theyād be. Yeosang had only mentioned that he too noticed a deeper dynamic going on, but he had no idea what it truly was.Ā
Half-true.Ā
Seonghwa takes a deep breath. āMin⦠please donāt tell me you have feelings for her. It canāt be genuine. Not like this.āĀ
Mingi doesnāt say anything. He picks at the fraying hem of his hoodie, suddenly solely interested in that. For some reason, heās embarrassed to all hell. Like a teenager getting teased for who his crush is at school. Hongjoong straightens a little, also turning to look at him.Ā
āEither way, you know you canāt actually pursue this⦠right?ā Seonghwa continues.Ā
Still, Mingi remains quiet. But he nods slowly after a beat. He knows. Realistically, logically, why would you ever want to stay close to someone who is best friends with the man who kidnapped, tortured, and whored you out to half of his friend group? To choose him would be to choose a life of consistent unpleasant memories and nightmares. You canāt fix each other with wounds this deep.Ā
āYeah, I know.ā He says, forcing a short laugh as if to brush it all away.Ā
He tilts his head back slightly, turning away from Seonghwa and Hongjoong. Itās nothing he hasnāt already told himself. Still, it hurts to hear when itās said by someone else. He runs a hand through his hair, unsure of what to do with his hands right now. Thankfully, Hongjoong and Seonghwa look away from him, lessening the pressure.Ā
No one else has anything to say. Itās asked, answered and settled. Mingi knows thereās no way anything between you can possibly grow from what it is now.Ā
Heād still like to ask what you think about the subject though.
āAre you gonna stay?ā Seonghwa asks Hongjoong, leaning down a little to try and meet his eyes.Ā
Hongjoong hesitates. āI might. Iāll text Jongho and ask if heās okay being alone for the night.ā Itās such a parental thing to say to another grown man, especially one of the more independent members like Jongho, but itās just his natural instinct to make sure everyone is okay before he focuses on himself at all.Ā
āOkayā¦ā Seonghwa waits a beat longer before getting up to go back to the kitchen, retrieving the ramen for them. When he turns back around, managing to balance the three bowls in both hands, Mingiās standing up too.Ā
āIāll um. Iāll eat in my room.āĀ
Seonghwa nods, extending one of his hands to him so he can take a bowl. Once he makes his selection ā the one that looks the most spicy ā he thanks him before turning on his heel and disappearing into his bedroom. When the door clicks shut, Seonghwa keeps walking, setting a bowl of ramen in front of Hongjoong on the coffee table.Ā
āEat.ā He says, knowing heāll only pick at it unless nagged into taking care of himself. He knows him too well.Ā
Miraculously, Hongjoong manages a small laugh. Seonghwaās shoulders drop in relief, not realizing he had been so tense this whole time. He slurps his own ramen, bringing the bowl onto his lap and leaning back on the couch. In spite of everything, he is determined to have a normal night. His hand fishes around in between the couch cushions for the TV remote, finding it stuffed between the arm and the end cushion. The TV blinks awake, and Seonghwa opens Netflix, looking for a K-Drama to watch while they eat.Ā
Hongjoong shoots a quick text to both Jongho and Yeosang, just checking in one more time to see if they need anything. Yeosang texts back quickly.
Iām okay! He wonāt be back tonight or tomorrow. Gonna shower soon and then go to bed. Goodnight, hyung.Ā
The response from Jongho comes in a couple of minutes later, in two parts.Ā
Iām okay too.Ā
Thank you, capt.
He looks away from that specific word as soon as he reads it. To distract himself, he shoves a large portion of ramen into his mouth, tongue going numb from the heat and spiciness.Ā
Gradually, it does start to feel like a normal night. And itās something Hongjoong didnāt know he desperately needed until now. He eventually leans back as well, willing his stiff body to relax as he eats. Right now, no one expects anything of him. Everyoneās safe, accounted for. He dares to settle down, to forget about today, try to be present while letting his mind clear at the same time as he watches the drama Seonghwa picks. Itās nice to just⦠be. To only worry about the two main charactersā cliche miscommunication and the drama ā pun intended ā that follows.Ā
Thereās a pleasant warmth in his stomach when he finishes his food, setting the bowl onto the coffee table and resting his head on a pillow from the couch, slightly propped up against the arm of it. Seonghwa does the same on the opposite side, pulling the blanket down from the back of the couch and spreading it out over both of their legs. Neither means to fall asleep so fast. Who knew that feeling safe could save you from stress-induced insomnia? Itās equally as nice to sleep for the first time in days, and not just a lapse of consciousness, but a deep R.E.M ā something quite rare for idols.Ā
But like all good things, it doesnāt last long.Ā
Almost to the end of the second episode, San hurries out of his room, stopping abruptly when he sees the TV on. He stands as still as a statue, watching Hongjoong and Seonghwaās forms on the couch. Unmoving, not noticing him. San slowly steps forward, leaning to see if theyāre awake or not.
Not. Both of them are passed out already, exhausted. The light from the television bathes them in dark red light.Ā
San takes another step towards them, his lips parting, about to wake them up. At the last minute, he rethinks it. He retracts his hand, only inches away from Hongjoongās shoulder, about to shake him awake to tell him. But there was no time to argue with him whether or not it was safe to go.Ā
Come on! Even his thoughts whisper, urging him on, moving him towards the front door. Thereās no time.Ā
Quickly and quietly, he gets his sneakers on and pulls his hoodie up to cover his head. He slips out the door as if he was never there in the first place. The cool night air makes him cross his arms across his chests for warmth. He looks down at his phone, the maps app pulled up with an address already typed into it. Only about a ten minute walk. Probably less if he hurries.Ā
The unfamiliar voice rings in his ears still. Hurry, hurry, hurry.Ā
āPlease help meā.Ā
It had been a short call when he finally picked up. The first time, he had missed it, only catching the tail-end of his ringtone as he woke up. The second time came almost immediately after the first one resulted in no response. That time, it was on purpose that he ignored it. Specifically because of the caller ID: Jeong Yunho. San had no desire to talk to him, and couldnāt figure out why he was calling him at half past midnight. Probably nothing good. He presses the power button in the middle of his phone ringing, silencing it and just letting the call go through unanswered again. He looked over his shoulder to see if it had woken up Wooyoung, but only saw his back facing him. The third time, again in rapid succession of the other, struck a chord of fear within him. It only rang twice before he answered, giving in to his curiosity.Ā
āHello?āĀ Ā
āSan?āĀ
The voice on the other end was the exact opposite of what he expected. Itās higher-pitched, terrified but trying to stay quiet. This had to be her. Itās difficult to even process that he was now talking to the girl at the center of everything, the one that Hongjoong vowed to keep the three remaining members away from.Ā
You.
He almost hung up again, but you begged him not to as if you could read his mind, feel his panic through the phone.Ā
āPlease donāt hang up, Iām sorry,ā your words were rushed, trying to keep the urgency in your voice while staying quiet, like someone else was trying to listen in, āIām sorry, it was the first name on his phone I saw.āĀ
Okay⦠San sat up, again looking over his shoulder to see if Wooyoung had woken up. Not yet. He rubbed his eyes, still not fully awake yet.Ā Ā
āWhy are youāāĀ
But you cut him off before he can ask, āPlease help me, I-I wanna go home,ā your voice broke on the word home, a small sob escaping you. There were a few beats of silence and some rustling, until your voice came back. āHeās asleep right now, please, please get me out of here,ā you begged, the uncontrollable waver in your voice giving away that youāre crying.Ā
San stood up then, his mouth running dry. āDo you know the address?ā He asked as he grabbed a hoodie thick enough to protect him from the night air.Ā
Once he had the address in his phone, his decision was made. The die was cast.Ā
āYouāre gonna be okay,ā he said, already making promises he cannot keep, āIāll be there soon.āĀ
He heard you move again on the other side of the phone, and then your voice crackled through his receiver, your tone more frantic than before, āSan please hurry, heāll kill me ifāāĀ
And the line went dead.Ā
He didnāt stop to think. Not wondering why you werenāt calling the police instead, nor how you managed to get into Yunhoās phone to make a call in the first place. Not considering you could be lying at all. All he could think was that he could end this. Get you away from Yunho, deal with the consequences later. For a split second, his brain tries to make him remember the sight of Mingiās arm in the group chat, and when he had reluctantly shown it to him one night. He shook it off, only naively thinking of one thing: not only could he save you, he could also save everyone else. Perhaps especially Hongjoong. No matter how hard he tries to hide it, everyone can see the steady decline heās taken due to the astronomical stress. At this point, he doesnāt care if Yunho goes to jail, or any of them. If he hurts that girl in any way, San is going to make sure he does something about it. No more standing by and letting this happen.Ā
The wind is against him the whole way there. It shoves him backwards, yanks his hood off multiple times until he just decides to keep it down. He searches the black sky for any clouds that would indicate a storm being the reason for the strong winds, but sees none. The farther he gets from the dorms, the tighter the knot in his throat becomes. He shoves his hands in his pockets, looks over his shoulder. He keeps moving.Ā
As expected, the lobby of the apartment building is dead, save for one tired looking front desk receptionist with her back turned to the door, on the phone. He shakes the cold off of him as he heads straight for the elevator, mumbling the apartment number under his breath over and over again. Something makes his skin crawl as he presses the button in the elevator, even worse when the doors close and heās isolated, realizing what heās doing and where he is.Ā
San has no idea what awaits him on that floor. Within that apartment. The tightness in his throat is almost suffocating him now, and he canāt help but feel like heās made a mistake. He should just call the police, tell them everything, and be done with it. But the way the call had ended so abruptly⦠it told him that he didnāt have time to wait around for the police to get there. That thought puts another spring in his step once the doors open again, feeling much less claustrophobic.Ā Ā
Itās eerily quiet in the hallway. The area itself is long, but seemingly only has about four apartments on this floor. He can guess why: privacy. The apartment is at the very end of the hallway, the door tucked away around a corner. Itās a strange faceoff, an uneven match of competitors. His heart stutters in his chest. Fully awake now, he takes a moment to once again realize where he is, and who is behind that door.Ā
Heās inches away from the door, unsure whether or not to knock. He tries the knob and twists it, not expecting much to happen.Ā
But it turns and pushes open. And that right there should be his biggest red flag that something is wrong, and to his credit it is. Swallowing down his anxiety, he dares to push it open a bit more, seeing how dark it is inside. Should he call out for you? Opening a bit more, the darkness flickers blue, then purple before staying a consistent white-ish color. In the thick silence he can just hear the faint sound of the TV in the living room. He glances at the door, quadruple checking that this was the right apartment, and that heās not breaking into some poor strangerās instead.Ā
One step at a time, each one spiking his heart rate. The show playing on the TV gets clearer and clearer ā itās some drama heās never seen before ā and his eyes adjust to the dark blue light the screen covers the layout of the apartment in. Sanās hand drifts to his pocket, where his phone is. No oneās in the kitchen nor the living room. Thereās no other signs of life in here. San wasnāt sure what he was expecting, but he assumed heād run into you by now, though heās not familiar as to what you look like exactly. The more he strains his eyes to see, the more he realizes heās giving his nightmares an even stronger foundation: now he knows what it smells like, what it looks like, even how it feels to be in here.Ā
He searches in the dark for that pinpoint red light that he heard Yeosang talk about ā the cameras. When he eventually finds one tucked in the corner of the kitchen, his breath catches. Everything he was warned about, right in front of him. He takes a step back, staring at the tiny red light. It blinks at him. Throat drying, he realizes what a terrible mistake heās made, and turns on his heel to get out as fast as he can.Ā Ā
But heās too late as the door swings shut.Ā
Once again adjusting his eyes to the dark, the light from the hallway no longer aiding him, his heart pounds rapidly in his chest as he comes face to face withā
Wooyoungās voice rings through the apartment like an alarm bell, his cry quickly followed by noises of him scrambling to get out of bed and out into the living room. Hongjoong jolts awake, his heart in his throat, trying to look everywhere at once for any immediate danger to him or the others. Seonghwa also wakes up, kicking his blanket off as he sits straight as Wooyoung runs into the room, near incoherent in his panic and worry.Ā
āWhat? What is it?ā Hongjoong tries to ask calmly, but his fear is obvious. Wooyoung drops to the floor, tears darkening his sleeve as he tries to wipe them away. āWhereās San?ā Hongjoong asks, looking past the trembling younger man in front of him, towards Sanās room.Ā
Wooyoung coughs, crying harder. Without another word, he gives Hongjoong his phone, his phone unlocked and showing his text messages with San. Seonghwa scoots closer to see.Ā
[Sannie] Woo she called me to come help her ā I have to try and end this
[Sannie] Iāll be back soon
The timestamps say he sent those over an hour ago. All of them feel sick to their stomachs. Seonghwa takes a deep breath, his gaze flickering over to his right to gauge Hongjoongās reaction.Ā
As expected, itās not great.Ā
His own gaze is somewhere far away, unblinking, the reality of what San has done hits him right smack in the face. One of his hands reaches up to fix his messy hair, smoothing the back of it down. It was an act of comforting himself more than vanity. His phone buzzes in his pocket, but he ignores it. His ears are ringing, like when you get up too fast and your head starts to go all fuzzy. He knows theyāre both looking to him on what to do next, how to fix this, how to get him back unharmed; but heās just blank. He canāt think past his own self-deprecating thoughts, the conversation earlier with the CEO replaying over and over again in his head. Though heād tried to defend himself, and Jongho and Seonghwa had stood up for him, everything Mr. Kim had said turned out to be right: he wasnāt trying hard enough. Heās letting this continue. Heās incapable of holding his group together like this. If heās compromised, then who will be there for the younger members?Ā
Hongjoong doesnāt realize heās started pulling at the roots of his hair until Seonghwa stops him, grabbing his wrist and lowering it. Still, he remains motionless. His phone vibrates once more. What could have possibly possessed San to go to that apartment, knowing everything he does about it? Especially after what happened to Mingi.Ā
Wait.Ā
He bolts upright, his heart freezing mid-beat. At the same time, Seonghwa realizes the exact same thing. His head snaps towards Mingiās room, mouth drying instantly. The dorm itself settles and creaks twice like the tick of a clock, tapping against their ears. Wooyoung is too busy trying to call San for what may be the twentieth time in the span of five minutes. Hongjoong doesnāt remember walking towards Mingiās door, but suddenly heās directly in front of it, his hand twitching slightly on the doorknob. It pushes open easily.Ā
And it reveals exactly everything Hongjoong feared.Ā
Both of them are gone, like they were stolen right out from under his nose. On his watch. He slumps against the doorway, Seonghwa rushing forward to catch him and keep him upright.Ā
āOh godā oh noā¦ā Seonghwa mumbles, looking into Mingiās room as well.Ā Ā Ā Ā
Again, his phone vibrates. With trembling hands, he finally takes it out of his pocket, swallowing down the lump in his throat as best he can.Ā
Three texts from Yunho. His divine timing truly knew no limits in moments such as these.Ā
[Yunho]: Itās sweet you still think theyāre yours to protect.Ā Ā
[Yunho]: Attachment 1: [Image]Ā
[Yunho]: They came running to her so easily.Ā
The image he sends twists the knife even harder than the words do. Itās at a specific angle, like he purposefully raised and tilted his phone a certain way to capture everything he wanted Hongjoong to see. San and Mingi on the same couch he, Seonghwa, and Yeosang had been on, and in the foreground of the photo, Yunhoās hand on your thigh. In your hand, youāre holding both Mingiās and Sanās phones.Ā
Hongjoong nearly loses it then. It is all just way too much to realize how easily Yunho can pick them off one by one, bend everyone to his will. Do anything he wants, manipulate his friends, exploit you. He canāt hear Seonghwa as he tries to calm him down, nor Wooyoung frantically asking what was wrong, his panic only growing as heās ignored for the time being. All he can think about is his failures.
Itās been months since youāve held a phone. Now with two in hand, neither belonging to you, youāre not quite sure what to do. Occasionally, one of them lights up and you stare down at it almost in wonder, getting to know exactly what time it was without needing to get up and go to the kitchen to look at the stove clock, or crane your neck to see the digital clock on Yunhoās nightstand. But itās rude to touch someone elseās property, so you resist tapping on the screen to bring it to life, just so you can see the time again.Ā
Youāre in the middle of a stale lull in a primarily one-sided conversation. San hasnāt said much since he found out the truth of the situation ā you werenāt in danger, Yunho wasnāt asleep, you had no intentions of escaping. It was all a charade. He keeps his head down, legs itching to run out of there as fast as he can, his mind berating him over and over again at how foolish he is.Ā Ā Ā
Mingi knows the routine by now, and he just sits quietly, waiting to do whatever he is told to do by Yunho. Obviously, he had been called here first. The reason behind the call to get Mingi here had been different, however. It was you on the other line as well, but you werenāt begging for a hero. When he heard your voice on the other line he knew it was a scheme of some kind. Youād simply asked him to come over. You said you wanted him there with you. At first he made an excuse, saying that it would be hard to sneak out without Hongjoong and Seonghwa seeing him leave the dorm, but when he looked outside of his door and saw them asleep, he didnāt lie to you and say they were still awake. He couldāve. What would Yunho have done to him then? Mingi just wanted to avoid getting in another carving situation if possible, and lying to Yunho wouldāve probably stamped his ticket back there. At least he believed so.Ā
And thatās exactly what Yunho wants: fear. Control. Absolute power.
Sanās a bit restless, eyes still exploring the unfamiliar surroundings, averting his gaze from you as much as possible, and yet curious to look closer and find out just what exactly it is about you that caused Yunho to do all of this. He wanted to believe he could still help you, and help the group as a result. But itās clear now: the thought of rescue, and the hope heād harbored for a fleeting moment, was all a facade. The guilty look on your face when you and Yunho walked out of his bedroom had told him all he needed to know about the reality of all of this.Ā
Yunho shrugs when no one says anything in response to him. Heād been wondering aloud, hypothesizing and visualizing Hongjoongās reaction to the fact that they were both here. San especially. Youāre staring at your lap still, one of your thumbs absentmindedly running along the smooth side of a phone case, the softness of it providing you a small comfort. Of course, you feel partially responsible for Hongjoongās torment, and Mingiās and Sanās as well. While youāre at it, might as well throw all seven of them into your apology too.Ā
Yunhoās eyes flicker over to you again and he watches you fidget with the phones. As if he hasnāt been planning something for the night all along, he fakes a defeated sigh.Ā
āYou know,ā he starts, voice deceptively light, āI almost feel bad for him. Really. Hongjoongās been working himself to death trying to āprotectā everyone, and yet⦠look where you are. Willingly too.ā
āShut up, Yunho,ā San snaps, blood boiling, ākeep Hongjoongās name out of your mouth.āĀ
Yunho levels San with just his eyes, his lips curling into something halfway between a smirk and a sneer. āYou didnāt even hesitate when she called. Didnāt question it, just ran straight here. Honestly, I didnāt think it would be that easy.ā
San glares at him, teeth clenched so tight his jaw trembles. āYou had to trick us to get us here,ā he bites down on each word, āyou used her. Is that what you call āwillingā?āĀ
Yunho laughs quietly, genuinely amused by San trying to snap back at him. It was reminding him of Mingi trying to do the same thing before he got corrected. He gets up off the couch and takes a step closer to him, and though San doesnāt shrink away, his shoulders stiffen.Ā
āDonāt act like youāre some kind of savior, Sannie. You came running because you wanted to believe you could still fix something. But you canāt.ā
Sanās glare falters for half a second, just enough for Yunho to notice. The satisfaction flickers across Yunhoās face like a spark catching dry grass. Itās more than enough to kindle the arrogant flame within him. Thereās blood in the water, and Yunho can smell it from miles away.Ā
Mingi watches it all from the corner of his eye, head down, trying to think past the pounding in his ribs. Every instinct tells him to stay quiet ā to not make this worse. Yunhoās not just talking; heās watching, cataloguing every twitch, every reaction. Dangerously analytical and observant. Nothing will go unnoticed.Ā
Yunho looks at you next, eyes darkening. āHongjoong hasnāt even stopped to factor you in, has he? Always so eager to please me. So willing to do whatever I ask of you to help me get anything I want.ā
You manage a small grin, and Yunho catches it, his smile sharpening.Ā
āNot like she has much of a choice.ā San bites again, sick of Yunhoās delusional based arrogance.Ā
Oh shit. You gulp, now watching Yunho, preparing yourself for his reaction. If there is one thing he dislikes most, it is any of them questioning him when it comes to how he treats you. He knows what heās doing. They have no say in the matter whatsoever. Again, heās doing this for them, goddammit! Ungrateful bastards, all of them. His jaw twitches, and itās painfully obvious that San has hit a nerve.Ā Ā
And you and Mingi know full well what comes next when someone talks back. Mingi touches Sanās arm as a silent warning.Ā
āDonāt.ā He whispers. But itās too late.Ā
āYou know what? Cāmere, baby. Maybe you can help make a point for me.ā Yunho holds his hand out for you to take, which you do of course.Ā
With his hand in yours, he helps you stand from the couch, and you look up at him now too, your body stiffening slightly. Mingi cards a hand through his hair ā this seems more familiar. He isnāt sure he can withstand another night spent in the guestroom, listening to him drag San down to his level. Not that he has much of a choice if thatās what Yunho wants to happen.Ā
āSannie doesnāt believe you want this of your own volition. Maybe I should show him what you were doing last night?āĀ
Your eyes widen like saucers, and you gasp, knowing full well he will. But you canāt say ānoā to him. All you can do is grip his shirt in your hands, silently begging him not to. He just smirks down at you in a silent response of his own. Both Mingi and San can see the way your cheeks immediately flush bright red, and how frightened you look. Maybe not āfrightenedā per say, but definitely nervous that Yunho will follow through on his suggestion. They have no idea what Yunho is talking about though, and are unsure if they want to find out.Ā Ā
Yunho just tucks your hair back behind your ear.
āWanna show Sannie instead?āĀ
āYes, Daddy.ā Anything but showing them the video. Youād gone through enough humiliation by now. You canāt imagine the look on poor Sanās face if he was made to watch it. Nor Mingiās.Ā
He hums, kissing your forehead softly. āMingi first,ā he whispers, ensuring only you can hear him, āshow Sannie what he could have.āĀ
At first, youāre surprised that heās letting Mingi have you first, but you suppose ever since⦠that day, thereās been a small guilty conscience following Yunho around. Additionally, Mingi has been pretty āgoodā, according to Yunhoās standards since then as well. Perhaps his probationary period is over.Ā
Maybe itās a peace offering of sorts.Ā
Yunhoās gaze lingers on the two men on the couch, then shifts back to you. He doesnāt even need to say it now.Ā
You nod once, slow to move away from him, walking the short distance over to the two men only to drop down to your knees between them. San stares at you like youāve suddenly grown two additional heads. You turn to look at Yunho over your shoulder, silently seeking permission to begin. Once he gives you the āgo aheadā, you turn back and go for Mingi.Ā
At first itās hard to move under the combined weight of both of their gazes. But you push yourself forward, settling directly in front of him. You lean in, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of his knee, parting the other with your hand to make room. His breath catches in his throat. He makes no move to touch you, wary of Yunho. Any and all touch will come from you and you only.Ā Ā
Mingi swallows hard. His mind is working a mile a minute as he watches you kneeling in front of him. If they resist, Yunho wins. If they do nothing, Yunho wins. Thereās only one way to make it through this without getting hurt again. He just hopes San catches on.Ā
His eyes squeeze shut for a moment, abandoning himself entirely.Ā
He then exhales shakily and opens his eyes, looking first towards you, then to Yunho. āThank you,ā he mutters, voice low but steady and loud enough to be heard.Ā
Yunho perks up. āFor what?āĀ
āForā¦ā he clears his throat, āgiving me another chance. Itās very kind of you.āĀ
Itās the first time in quite a while that Yunhoās smile actually looks genuine, almost like heās relieved. āOf course, Min.ā
San blinks, staring in complete bafflement at his friend. He knows he might just be playing along to stay out of trouble, but thanking Yunho? It makes him sick.Ā
Mingi looks at San for a split second out of the corner of his eye. Thereās something else hidden beneath his expression that Yunho cannot see. But thankfully, San sees it right away.Ā
Itās not surrender. Itās strategy.Ā
Your hands shake slightly as you drag your hands up and down his thick thighs. He takes a deep breath, affected by your touch, but able to keep his composure. Still, San doesnāt move. For what reason, no one is sure, even San, but he solely keeps his gaze either on you, Yunho, or the floor.Ā
Not looking to waste time nor drag this out any longer, your hands creep up to the waistband of Mingiās sweatpants. He helps you by lifting his hips up just enough so you can coax them down, revealing a growing tent in his boxers. Part of him hates himself for doing this in front of San, another part of him echoes Yunhoās words from that night: ā...you guys couldāve said no. You couldāve left.ā San can leave right now. He can stand right up and walk out the door ā no one will stop him. Maybe a sly remark or two will be thrown his way, but that would be the worst of it. Yunho knows better than to go beyond that when it comes to persuading each of them to partake in his sick little fantasy heās curating. So heāll take this one tonight, give San time and an out, play a nauseating compliant role, live with the guilt of you pleasuring him again.Ā
The pressure of your small, warm palm against him sends a shudder through him that he canāt hide or contain. How long has it been since youāve been allowed to touch him like this? Too fuckinā long. You scoot in closer on your knees, applying more pressure onto his clothed length, even letting some spit drip down onto the fabric, just to mess with him a little. His hands clench into fists from the strain of holding himself back when your hands finally pull his boxers down as well, his cock heavy as it bobs up once freed. You grip his length and slowly begin to stroke him, spitting onto the tip and letting it run down. Mingi already is close to panting, but he makes himself take deep breaths whenever he remembers to. His mind wanders back to that time in the shower. He has to look.Ā
His whole body tenses when he looks down at you, your hand so small around him, long eyelashes dusting the tops of your cheeks as you rest your head against one of his thighs. Your mouth is so tantalizingly close to his dick that he just wants to push you closer by the back of your head. Luckily for him, youāre just as impatient. Youāre not sure how far Yunho will make you two go, but hopefully if he lets this go further, maybe heāll let you cum tonight. But in order for that to happen, you know you have to earn it first. Eager to prove you deserve it, you lick a slow, long, wet stripe up his entire length, only to wrap your lips around the tip. You fall into routine, humming around him at his familiar taste, your hand still grips him at the base, massaging and stroking him as your mouth envelops him more than halfway down. When your nose hits your hand, you hum around him again, and his hips buck upwards, accidentally shoving more of his cock down your throat. You splutter and cough, and he pulls you off by your hair, giving your throat a break for a moment.Ā
āSee, Sannie? If you just behaved like Mingi you could be getting her mouth too.āĀ
In all honesty, for a minute you forget San is right there next to him until your eyes open to find him looking straight at you. His face is red, and his whole body is tense. You cough again, dragging your soft lips up Mingiās cock, worshipping it. Knowing Yunho will love this, you maintain eye contact with San as you take Mingi deep into your mouth again. A whimper escapes you when he breaches the back of your throat, but you breathe through your nose and calm your racing heart just like Yunho taught you. San finally tears his gaze away from you at the sound, his morbid curiosity having gotten the better of him in that moment. You close your eyes again once he looks away, focusing solely back on Mingi.Ā
āMin, keep your eyes open.ā Yunho instructs, expression unreadable but not hostile. Itās clear heās testing him now, seeing just how compliant heāll be.Ā
Mingi listens, keeping his gaze locked on you. His hand brushes through your hair, occasionally lingering on the back of your head like he wants to push you down and hold you there. Your mouth is so soft and warm around him, and he can feel himself leaking into your throat. The obscene noises your throat makes make your cheeks heat up, but to Yunho and Mingi it only charges the atmosphere of the room even more. He watches you handle him like heās worth millions, your little pink tongue kitten-licking the tip every so often, making him twitch and shiver as an immediate result. You grin in between licks, knowing the effect you have on him. He has the same one on you.Ā
Again, he has that horrible little intrusive thought: Yunho has trained you so well.Ā
He groans deeply, his hips threatening to buck up again. You press down on his hipbone with your free hand, moving even closer to him if possible. You take your hand around his cock away and slow your pace down almost to a halt. Slowly, inch by inch, you take him all the way down your throat until your nose is pressing up against his lower stomach. Mingi sinks back further into the couch, his head resting against the back of it.Ā
From behind you, Yunho hums, āGood girl, there you go.āĀ
His praise sends a shiver down your spine. You can feel how tense San is even though youāre not touching him. Heās barely breathing. Mingi, still unclear of his limits when it comes to you, hides you from Sanās view a little, using one of his large hands to cup your cheek, threading his fingers in your hair. You lean into his palm, sighing through your nose. The tension in the room is palpable, an unspoken energy that could be cut with a knife. Mingiās hand in your hair tightens slightly, guiding your movements as you continue. Sanās breath hitches, and you know heās still watching, even if he canāt see everything.Ā
None of them look away from you. Even when Mingiās eyelids turn heavy, and his eyes threaten to roll back at the intense pleasure youāre giving him, heās determined to not look away. He shuts the two others out. Itās just you and him. His focus on you is unwavering, his grip tightening even more as he loses himself in the moment. The intensity of his gaze and the way his body reacts make it clear that, in this instant, nothing else matters but the connection between you. Likewise, your primary focus is on him. Of course, needing to do well in front of Yunho is always on your mind, but in order to do that, you have to turn all of your thoughts and attention into whoever youāre with.Ā
You can tell heās close. The telltale signs are there without him needing to verbalize it. You know. His breathing becomes less rhythmic, and his hand flexes in your hair, signaling his impending release. You double down, drawing him closer to the edge. A couple unchecked moans and other small sounds escape him, and his body begins to tremble due to your administrations. The sounds coming from your mouth are filthy, pornographic in nature.Ā
Remembering to ask, he fights back another moan before asking Yunho where heās allowed to cum. Mercifully, Yunho doesnāt make him wait for an answer.Ā
He leans forward, resting his elbows on his legs. āIn her mouth is fine.āĀ
Turns out sucking up to Yunho ā or at least pretending to as self-preservation ā has its bonuses.Ā Mingi twitches at your response to that, a small hum around him, hollowing your cheeks around his length to encourage him further.Ā
As he finally lets go, you feel the intensity of the moment reverberate through both of you. He tastes just as good as you remember, filling your mouth as you slowly pump him, milking him for every drop of cum he has to give. Mingi's body relaxes as he lets out a deep, shaky breath, his hold on your hair loosening gently. You both take a moment to catch your breath, the air heavy with the remnants of shared intensity. He wipes the corner of your mouth with his thumb before pushing it into your mouth for a few seconds, relishing on the feeling of you sucking on that as well. You peek over your shoulder at Yunho again, mouth still closed, keeping Mingiās cum on your tongue.Ā
āSwallow it, baby.ā He says, his eyes darkening. You obey immediately, showing your now empty mouth to both Yunho and Mingi. They groan at the sight, Mingi petting your hair and praising you under his breath. His ribs start hurting again now that heās coming down from his high, and he realizes heās been breathing a bit too deeply while his adrenaline took over. He winces as he straightens up, tucking himself back into his underwear and sweatpants.Ā He slumps back against the couch, hand over his ribs as he pants and occasionally groaning from the aftershocks.
Youāve since moved over to San, albeit cautiously.Ā
Yunho leans back, his foot resting on his opposite knee as he watches his favorite show.Ā
āIām sorry for lying to you, Sir. I wanna make it up to you.ā You dare to look up at San.Ā
The bewilderment and fear in his expression is more than obvious as he watches you shift closer towards him. You canāt meet his eyes for more than a split second. Though a few attempts are made to do so, you just canāt bring yourself to this time. Youāre not sure why, however it may be because Mingi is right there. Like with the others, you whisper a tiny, barely audible apology to him and gently run your hands up his thighs as well. Your mascara ran a little bit during your time with Mingi, coating the skin just underneath your eyes black.Ā Ā Ā
Heās too shocked to move away for now, though he desperately wants to. Realizing this is exactly what happened to his groupmates, it dawns on him like a rude awakening. Ever the gentleman his family raised him to be, he canāt make himself shove you away. Add in the fear of what Yunho will do if he refuses you, and the imagery of Mingiās arm in the group chat, and you get a freeze response. And admittedly, watching you with Mingi had turned him on, though he feels absolutely horrible about it. But hey, heās just a man.Ā
But when your hands stray a bit too close to his crotch, he reacts abruptly.Ā
Dangerously.
āDonātā!ā He exclaims. Your hands are shoved back with such force you have to catch yourself on the floor. You yelp, moreso from shock, and whimper when you feel a sharp pain run up your wrist, landing on your hand at a weird angle. He almost kicks you, moving back further into the couch to get away from you, bringing his feet up onto the cushions so you canāt touch him like that anymore. Mingi jolts in surprise, quickly looking back and forth between San and Yunho, not expecting San to push you away like that.Ā
Shame rattles through you, permeating deep in your marrow. You feel⦠disgusting. The way San is looking at you only exacerbates that feeling. You look back at Yunho again, and he visibly tenses, having not seen that look on your face in quite some time. That pained, self-conscious look.Ā
āThatās enough, princess. Come back to me.ā Yunho says flatly, his sharpened gaze never leaving San once.Ā
If looks could kill, San would be a dead man.Ā
You quickly push yourself up off the floor, already starting to cry, and hurry back to his side, hiding your face behind his shoulder.Ā
Mingi stops breathing. Talking back is one thing. Pushing you is quite another. He dares to look at Yunho, unprepared for the violence he is sure is coming. Trying to glean anything in regards to what heāll do is useless. Yunho locks onto San like a heat-seeking missile. His eyes follow every miniscule movement, and his jaw clenches so hard he feels like heāll break some molars any second. With practiced, yet fragmented control, he inhales deeply, letting you hide behind him, and he lifts one of his hands to pet your hair as you try not to cry. You donāt want to get San in trouble, but itās already far too late for that.Ā
His eyes are dead again.Ā
āSan, go wait in Mingiās room.ā Using his actual name instead of āSannieā is not a good sign. Even his voice is deadened, monotone. Lifeless and cold.Ā
San stands shakily, knowing he just punched his ticket. If Yunho didnāt kill him tonight, Hongjoong sure as hell will. He turns to Mingi, helpless, not knowing the layout like he does.Ā Ā
āBehind you.ā Mingi clarifies before he can even ask.
Their eyes meet for a fraction of a second ā enough for Mingi to plead silently: donāt fight back.
He hesitates for a moment longer, not wanting to accept his fate before finally turning and disappearing into the guestroom, shutting the door behind him.Ā
Thereās a long pause once the door clicks shut.Ā
āDid he hurt you, baby?ā Yunho asks you, every syllable clipped. Itās evident heās trying to keep himself as calm as possible, so as to not make you think his anger is directed towards something you did. But itās also clear that heās about ten seconds away from blowing up.Ā
The ghost of Sanās shove still lingers on your skin. Do you condemn him to a fate probably worse than Mingiās? What would he do to him? None of them had shoved you or touched you like that beforeā¦Ā
You cradle the wrist you fell onto, trying to stop crying. You keep yourself hidden behind him, not wanting Mingi to see you condemn his friend. Though you donāt respond verbally, Yunho feels you nod against his shoulder.Ā
And that seals it.Ā
But he doesnāt launch into action just yet. He looks back at Mingi, face still flushed and body twitching every so often from the aftershocks of his orgasm. He does his best to comfort you by kissing you on the forehead, whispering reassurances to you.Ā
Daintily brushing his fingers along your jaw, he murmurs, āPrincess, go lie down and rest for me. Iāve gotta talk to Mingi about something. Daddy will bring you something for your wrist in just a minute, okay?āĀ
Acknowledging that you heard his direction with a pitiful āOkay, Daddyā, you sniffle and try to compose yourself. Youāre embarrassed beyond measure, though again youāre not sure why. Probably because it was blatant sexual rejection. You wipe away your tears with your non-injured wrist and shakily stand from the couch, trudging back into Yunhoās room. Once that door shuts, and your blubbering becomes muffled, Yunhoās hands clench into fists.Ā
āYou know what, Min?ā He says, laughing without humor, āFunnily enough, Iām starting to think youāre the only person I can trust with her.āĀ
Unsure of how to respond, Mingi just remains quiet.Ā
Yunho continues, āSure, I thought you were crossing a line with her, but at least I know youād never hurt her.ā His gaze wanders back to the door, burning holes through it.Ā
āAnd Iām sorry for that,ā Mingi says, āfor forgetting my place here. I got too carried away, started thinking I knew better than you. I confused compassion for something else.ā He swallows hard, forcing his voice to stay level. āYou were right to correct me. I needed to remember whoās in control.ā
A smile tugs faintly at the corner of Yunhoās mouth ā not warmth, exactly, but satisfaction. He leans back, studying Mingi as if weighing the sincerity behind the words.
āAnd do you remember now?ā he asks quietly.
Mingi meets his eyes just long enough to sell it. āYes. I do.ā
Yunho nods once, slow and pleased. āGood. Because I donāt like repeating lessons.āĀ
āI understand.ā
āYouāve done well, though. Owning up. Taking responsibility. Thatās the kind of maturity I respect.ā
Mingi nods again, forcing himself to look up at Yunho. If resistance only tightens the leash, then maybe compliance can loosen it.
After another pause, Yunho says, āI think Iāll let you have your privileges back. Supervised, of course⦠but I think youāve earned that much.ā
Mingi bows his head in gratitude, murmuring a quiet, āThank you.ā
He doesnāt look up again until he knows that Yunho had turned away. The moment he does, his eyes flicker with something Yunho doesnāt catch ā not relief, not gratitude. Just quiet resolve. There is a large part of him thatās relieved that Yunho trusts him again, and a smaller yet prominent part that despises what heās had to say and do so far to gain that trust back again. What he will have to say and do as well.Ā
And speaking ofā¦
āYouāll handle him for me, wonāt you?ā
Itās not a question, itās an expectation. A test masquerading as trust. A chance for Mingi to prove himself as a mindless, loyal follower. Yes, Yunho, of course Iāll physically threaten one of my best friends for you.Ā
Mingiās throat closes. Every part of him screams no, but he forces his head to move up and down. He knows he has to agree to keep this fragile trust intact.Ā
āYes.ā
Yunho nods once, satisfied. āGood.āĀ
He looks up towards one of the cameras and then back down to Mingi. The unspoken message is clear: heāll be watching. He has to do it.
Yunho stands up, pausing for a fraction of a second, staring at the guestroom door before heading into the kitchen to retrieve an ice pack for you. Mingi stands too, slowly so as to not trigger another sharp stabbing pain in his side, and wipes his sweaty palms against his sweatpants. He turns towards the door to the guestroom, knowing exactly what waits behind it. What will happen behind it. He tries to come up with different ways he can avoid actually hurting San, but making it look like he has. Unfortunately for the both of them, heās coming up short.Ā
Sanās defiance had been brave. Stupid, but brave. No one else had said 'no' before. And now itās Mingiās job to fix it ā or at least make it look like he did, if he can manage to fool Yunho. Which he doubts. No, in the unblinking red eye of the cameras, heās going to have to put on a real show.Ā
Mingi jumps about a mile in the air when he feels Yunho touch his shoulder. Itās like getting struck by lightning; his heart stops in its tracks, his hair stands on end. He turns to look at him.Ā
āMake sure he understands where he went wrong.ā
The handle of a knife is pressed into his hand.Ā
And with that, heās gone from the room too, leaving Mingi standing alone, the weight of the order sinking into him like a stone dropped into deep water, pulling him down before he can take a breath. The cold handle of the knife burns his skin, and memories wash over him like a tidal wave before he can even attempt to keep them at bay.Ā
Itās the same one.Ā Ā
The sharp end of it points directly towards the door, as if egging him on. Seeking its target, already knowing where he is. The last of the air in his lungs escapes him involuntarily. His arm feels like itās being reopened, and he wouldnāt be surprised to see blood dripping down onto the floor.Ā
Trembling with a heavy dread heās never had to bear before, he turns the knob and pushes the door open, not ready at all for what he has to do.Ā
San jolts at the sound of someone outside the door.Ā
Heād been standing in the middle of Mingiās room almost in amazement; it was almost similarly furnished to his actual room in the dorm. Only a couple items were missing like most of his clothes, and his laptop, and of course the different bedding. But even the position of the bed itself was the same, a desk in the same spot, his extra pair of headphones, an outrageously expensive plushie San had trouble fathoming why or how it could be that costly. In fact, all of them had given him shit about it ā purely all in good fun. Must be why he keeps it here, he thinks with a small grin.Ā
He didnāt mean to push you. He panicked. In that moment, he was so overwhelmed, afraid, baffled, an amalgamation of emotion. Yunho should know full well San would never push or shove anyone except in fun. And even then, it would be light. Heād never hurt you on purpose. But Yunho doesnāt see that. He sees that San pushed you, and thatās all he will focus on. End of story.Ā
While he waited, he replayed the morning he found out about all of this, as he often does. However, this time, he imagined it was him. Every story heās heard about Yunho and what heās done, what heās seen so far, his mind spins and creates with how heāll be the next example. Thereās no doubt in his mind. And what he keeps circling back to is imagining the look on poor Hongjoongās face. Heās already at the end of his rope, and no one is quite sure how much more he can take. San certainly is not doing him any favors by being here. Somewhat voluntarily, at that.Ā
So when the door opens, and he fully expects it to be Yunho, it only worsens the ache in Mingiās heart that San looks so relieved at the sight of him instead. Out of habit, he side-eyes the cameras. Each of them jeer at his misfortune, laughing at how clueless San is. Mingiās presence instead of Yunhoās isnāt a saving grace. Itās a placeholder for the real thing.Ā
San realizes that all too late when Mingi shoves him up against the door, a rather large knife held up to his throat. Mingi presses hard enough for him to try and pry him off, but not enough to cut him. Not enough to make it real, but just the right amount to get him to react accordingly. The look of utter betrayal in Sanās eyes sears into Mingiās memory. His mouth opens in confusion, eyes flashing between anger and disbelief.
āMin, what the hellā?!ā
āDonāt. Just listen to me.ā Mingi grits out, voice low and dangerous. The knife doesnāt move even one centimeter from where it lightly presses against his throat. āDonāt you ever put your hands on her like that.ā
The words burn his tongue as he says them. He can feel the cameraās unblinking stare on the back of his neck, the invisible disciplinarian that keeps them both in check. Every syllable needs to sound real within earshot of it. He has to be convincing.Ā
San pushes weakly against him, trying to get air, to get away from the cold steel of the knife, but Mingi leans in closer, jaw tightening.Ā
āDo you hear me, San?ā He bites, just loud enough for the microphones to catch. His breath shakes as it leaves him, but his tone stays sharp and controlled. āTouch her like that again, and youāll get a hell of a lot worse than what I went through.āĀ
Heād like to believe heās showing San mercy, even if itās hard to categorize this as anything but assault and threats of physical violence. On the surface, this is textbook betrayal. The ultimate mutiny, siding with the villain of the story whose reputation is notoriously violent and manipulative. Brother turning against brother. The list could go on.Ā Ā
He hates every word spilling out of his mouth, even if what heās saying is true. Each word has to be forced out as soon as he thinks of them ā he canāt afford to hesitate or hold back what he thinks Yunho will want to hear. Sanās throat moves beneath the blade, a faint rasp escaping as he struggles to breathe evenly. Though the pressure Mingi applies isnāt meant to hurt, it still feels like too much. Every instinct in him screams to stop. To pull away. He wants San to put up a fight like he did, and walk away unharmed. They need a win.Ā
But he doesnāt listen to instinct. He listens to what heās been told to do. He knows Yunho wants to see hesitation, to catch the faintest flicker of rebellion in his eyes. One wrong twitch, one ounce of visible resistance, and heād know it was all an act.Ā
So Mingi keeps his face impassive. Keeps his grip firm on the handle, his elbow digging into Sanās shoulder to keep him still. His tone stays steady and sharp.Ā
But his eyes tell a different story.Ā
San glares at him, his eyebrows knitting together as he searches Mingiās face for any sign that will tell him that he doesnāt mean what heās saying. He finds none. When he manages to speak, his voice comes out rough. Uncertain. He doesnāt believe what Mingi is saying or doing. Nor how he is acting. This isnāt like him at allā¦Ā
āYouāre not serious.ā He says, but heās not completely sure.Ā
Mingi only presses harder against Sanās throat, now cutting off much needed air. He doesnāt press the blade, but the handle instead. He doesnāt blink.Ā
āTry me.ā
Those two words land like large stones at Sanās feet. A long silence stretches between them, thick enough to choke on. Mingi can practically feel the camera lens narrowing in on them, hungry for violence, waiting for him to take it further. He canāt. He wonāt. This is as far down to Yunhoās level he will ever allow himself to go.Ā
Sanās eyes are wide, a profound hurt swimming just beneath the surface, but thereās something else too ā an understanding. Itās faint, but itās there. The smallest flicker that maybe, just maybe, San knows what this really is. Or, the message Mingi is passing along is being acknowledged and sinking in. No matter what he says, the underlying tone is the same: everyone has to be careful with how they treat you. Especially in front of Yunho.Ā
He lets the tension drag just a second too long before stepping back. Once the pressure lifts from Sanās throat, he coughs, rubbing at his neck to check for any blood and hunching over, eyes still locked on him in disbelief. Mingi doesnāt look away. He has to sell it to the end.Ā
He pushes San down to his knees, ignoring his coughing and surprised yelp as he hits the hard wood. He takes one step back, angling his body ever so slightly so that the camera in the upper corner of the room can view everything.Ā
āI just didnāt want her to touch me like thatāā San tries to defend himself, not looking at him anymore.Ā
āYou think that matters?ā Mingi flares. The words come out harsher than he meant them to, desperate for San to understand the gravity of what heās done. Mingiās not sure he completely understands how serious an offense heās just committed. āYou donāt want something, you say so. You will not do that again. Am I clear?ā
Sanās jaw locks, but he nods. Not particularly loving the lecture heās being given from the younger man.Ā
āCrystal.ā He says through his teeth. Mingi almost falters, wanting so badly to tell him why heās doing this. But he canāt. He has to continue. To push it one step further to satiate Yunho for now.Ā
He exhales through his nose, trying to keep his voice from shaking. āLook at the camera.ā
San hesitates. His eyes dart to the tiny red light glowing high in the corner. Heās trembling now, forced to acknowledge the camera dead on. Another devastating reminder that heās being recorded. Heās being watched.Ā
Mingi points right at it.Ā
āBeg him to forgive you.ā A small, almost audible to the camera waver in his voice is heard by San. He looks at him inquisitively. Little things like that that Mingi lets slip are adding up in Sanās head, casting a hint of doubt that Mingi is actually betraying him, or any of the others. Hoping heās right based solely on a slightly unsteady voice, he does as heās told.Ā Ā
āIām sorry,ā San says finally, staring into the lens. The lump in his throat increases in size.Ā
āAgain,ā Mingi mutters, quieter.
āIām sorry⦠I shouldnāt have pushed her. Please forgive me, both of you⦠please. I promise I wonāt ever do it again.ā
Mingi forces himself to look away, jaw tightening as he listens to Sanās trembling voice. Itās the only thing he can do to not shatter the act heās putting on. His chest feels heavy. His grip on the knife loosens, like he wants to drop it as soon as possible.Ā
He adds one more line because he knows Yunho will expect it. āYouāll treat her better next time?ā
āY-Yes.ā
āSay it and mean it.ā
San lets out a breath, similar to the one someone might exhale right before they start crying, āI promise Iāll treat her better.ā
Thereās a long silence after that. The kind that tastes like blood in the back of the throat. Treating you right can mean multiple things at once. Neither of them want to think about which one itāll mean for next time.Ā
āYou donāt know how lucky you are, San.ā Mingi says it before he can stop himself. Itās the most like himself that heās sounded all night. Admittedly, thereās a small part of him that feels a bit resentful that Sanās getting off so easily when he had to suffer so much. Arguably for something much less serious.Ā
But itās the truest thing heās said to him so far. San is lucky. Because next time, it might not be Mingi who is sent to deal with him. Though he thoroughly doubts San will ever come back here again. Ever. Unless dragged, kicking and screaming. Nevertheless, in order to save him from his experience, this is what he has to do. Hopefully heāll be able to explain himself later in private, where he knows Yunho canāt overhear, but right now he can tell itāll be hard for San to even be near him after this.Ā Ā
He prays Yunho accepts his performance. At least if he does, this will have been for something.Ā
Heās still catching his breath when the realization creeps up on him, slow and suffocating. He replays the moment ā the way Yunhoās voice had been calm, measured. The faint satisfaction behind his order. Youāll handle him for me, wonāt you?
At first, Mingi thought it was another one of his tests ā a way for Yunho to see if heād obey. But now, in the heavy quiet that follows, something clicks into place. The pieces line up too neatly, too profoundly: Yunho hadnāt made him do this because he wanted to see loyalty. Heād made him do it because if Mingi hadnāt⦠Yunho wouldāve done it himself.
And San wouldnāt have come out of it alive.Ā Ā
It dawns on Mingi that Yunho asked him to do it so he wouldnāt kill him.Ā
His hands are shaking so hard, San canāt help but notice. His throat tightens around a sigh he canāt release. The actās over. Heās done what he needed to do ā or rather, what Yunho wanted him to do. That should be enough.
Good, he thinks, bitterly. He got his show.
Mingi forces himself to take a step back, every muscle in his body stiff and aching from restraint. Heās careful not to let the exhaustion show in his face. Not to let his true feelings creep into his expression. This must be how youāve been operating every single day.Ā
As Mingi reaches for the doorknob, San flinches back. His eyes are still wide, whole body on alert, ready to defend himself from any more attacks to his throat. The knife is too close to him again. At this angle, Mingi leans in close enough for the camera to see but low enough for only San to hear.Ā
āJust keep your head down,ā he murmurs, voice barely audible, āplease.ā
Itās his voice again, not someone elseās words he was expected to recite. This was real.Ā Ā
When the door pushes open again, Mingiās not surprised in the slightest when he sees Yunho already making his way back into the living room. A spike of fear of not being convincing enough stabs through Mingi, and he grabs Sanās shirt to drag him out of the room.Ā
San doesnāt put up a fight. He lets himself be manhandled into the room, shrinking under Yunhoās steely gaze.Ā
He even stumbles a little as heās pushed towards him. Once within reach, Mingi sets the knife down on the coffee table, not missing how it felt in his hand whatsoever.Ā
Yunho looks San up and down. Analyzing, absorbing the confusion, the shock in his face. He had hoped Mingi would do a little more to discipline him, but⦠he can always do that himself later.Ā
The quiet fury he felt hasnāt completely gone away yet.
Unbeknownst to Mingi, he was right: Yunho had to step away, go back to you and calm down enough to not want to kill him anymore. Heād seen red as he walked into his bedroom, your glossy eyes cast downwards at your wrist. He could barely look at you without feeling that familiar burn start to spark in his chest, the kind that always ends with an eruption if left unchecked. Or worse, provoked. Heād made himself sit down, count his breaths, press the heels of his palms into his eyes until the static ringing in his head faded to a low hum. You nuzzled into his shoulder, seeking comfort of your own, but also because you knew it would help him extinguish some of the fire that was raging through him.Ā
āIām okay, Daddy. Promise.ā You whispered, kissing his shoulder for good measure.Ā
But he cracked his knuckles and stared off into space, unblinking. āNo youāre not,ā he said in a monotone voice, looking down at your wrist again, āthat fucker hurt you. Heāā he had to cut himself off in the middle of speaking.Ā
You attempt to roll your wrist, maybe to try and show him that you really were okay, but you wince when it gets to a certain angle. You cease all attempts to prove that youāre not hurt, as itās only serving to make him angrier. The two best things to do in these types of situations are always: be quiet, be there for him. So you held his hand and promptly shut up. You leaned into him as he watched the camera feed on his laptop, your eyes closed.Ā
You didnāt want to see.Ā
With an icy kiss to the back of your hand, Yunho made you an even colder promise.Ā
āI will never let anyone think they can touch you like that again.āĀ
By penalty of death.Ā
Now face to face with San again, Yunho feels that same anger flaring up again. Yunhoās jaw clenches tight, every ounce of self-control is working to stay his hand. But the more he looks at San, the more heās reminded that youāre in his bed right now, gingerly resting your wrist on an ice pack, trying to hide your tears from him.Ā
āThatās all, San.ā He says, lethally calm like an emperor deciding to spare a gladiatorās life in the colosseum, āGo home.āĀ
He tosses Sanās phone onto the coffee table, and it lands with a loud bang!Ā
San blinks once. Twice. Three times. Did he hear that correctly?Ā
He doesnāt move at first. No one does. No one dares. San from fear, Mingi from experience. It was never this easy. They both wait specifically for the catch, the final word, anything more, but nothing else comes. What they do get is a noticeable rise in anger from Yunho, the longer San stays put.Ā Ā Ā
Sparing one last look at Mingi out of the corner of his eye, San hurriedly snatches his phone and makes for the door, panic rising in his throat every second longer he stays in there. Even though Yunho doesnāt move towards him whatsoever, it feels like heās chasing him down the hallway. San canāt breathe properly until the elevator doors close and send him back down. Each floor taking him further and further away.Ā
The cold air outside swipes at him, trying to pull him apart as he walks through it. At times, he breaks into a run. Both to beat the cold, and to put even more distance between him and that place. He just wants to go home. He needs to be home now. Heāll take the lecture from Hongjoong anyday, no matter how severe it will be.Ā
Around the corner from the dorms, he finally has the thought to check his phone.Ā
Eighteen missed calls from Wooyoung. Five texts from Yeosang. Three from Jongho.Ā Two voicemails from Seonghwa.
Walking back into the dorms, heās hit full force with a frantic Wooyoung, nearly tackling him in a hug as soon as he crosses the threshold. The entire dorm comes alive with questions, loud voices overlapping each other, each one fighting for an answer first. It takes him a minute to realize everyone is there now ā Jongho and Yeosang must have come over while he was gone. The thought reignites the avalanche of guilt, that they were called to make sure they didnāt leave either. But itās nothing compared to how he feels when he sees Hongjoong.Ā Ā
He stands apart from the others, Seonghwa, as always, by his side. Ever still the parents of the group. He doesnāt look away from San, nor does the cold glare subside one bit when their eyes meet. Wooyoung is still clinging to him, demanding to know what happened, voice cracking between relief and panic, but San canāt hear any of it. Everything narrows to Hongjoong. In the meantime, he placates Wooyoung by mumbling a half-hearted, āIām fineā, ignoring his questions about why his throat is so red.Ā Ā
Meeting Hongjoongās eyes again, he finds he canāt bring himself to explain anything. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. What could he even say? That heās sorry? That he thought he was helping? That he didnāt even think twice before running there like an idiot? Every excuse that flashes through his head sounds pathetic before it even reaches his tongue.
Hongjoong finally moves, slow and deliberate, pushing past Wooyoung and Yeosang until heās standing right in front of him. The exhaustion etched into his face makes Sanās stomach twist ā the insane amount of stress and lack of sleep manifest in the deep, dark circles under his eyes, and in the way he can barely stand without shaking.Ā
He grabs San by the shoulder, nails digging into his skin through his hoodie, āWhy would you ever go there? Why?ā
Sanās mouth dries instantly. Nowās the time to pick the best excuse, but he canāt bring himself to lie to him. The truth is terrifyingly plain and simple. He tears his gaze away from Hongjoongās, unable to look him in the eyes after what heās done.Ā
āI⦠she called me.āĀ
āYes, I know,ā Hongjoong says, his voice raising slightly, looking at Wooyoung from the corner of his eye, ābut my question remains the same: why the fuck would you go there without telling anyone?āĀ
San shifts his weight, bowing his head. āShe begged me to help herā¦āĀ
Seonghwa crosses his arms across his chest, one of his hands rubbing his temples as he listens.Ā
āWouldnāt the first person she calls be Mingi, and not someone she hasnāt met yet?ā Hongjoong asks, fighting to keep his emotions under control. Heās close to failing.Ā
The mention of Mingiās name makes him subconsciously rub at his throat again, the phantom pains of being held up against the door coming back as he recalls the memory.Ā
āSheā she said she just clicked on the first name she saw, hyung. Iām sorryāāĀ Ā Ā
āBullshit, your name was first. Fucking think, San!ā Hongjoong pushes him back by the shoulder, every bottled emotion finally exploding out of him at once for all to see. Yeosang steps back further, away from the eruption. Jongho and Wooyoung do as well, getting further from the blast zone, away from the shrapnel as their leader unravels before them. Seonghwa doesnāt move, eyes wide and fearful. Itās rare that Hongjoong raises his voice to this level, that he gets pushed over the edge into a freefall.Ā
No one knows quite what to do but to let the flames die out naturally.Ā
He just has to burn first.Ā
Sanās heart is in his throat now, beating him from the inside out and choking him.Ā
Hongjoong continues, āWhat if he had hurt you like he hurt Mingi? You know I canāt call the police, you know that I canāt protect youāāĀ
He turns away from him abruptly then, hiding his face as tears race to his eyes. Itās one thing to hear it from someone else, another to hear it inside his head, but something else entirely to say it out loud. To admit defeat.Ā
At that moment, San realizes it isnāt anger behind Hongjoongās tone. Itās fear.
Fear that theyāre losing. Fear that heās losing control. Fear that maybe heās already lost it. Or never even had it to begin with.Ā
āI canāt stand this anymore,ā Hongjoong admits, the words falling out of him like theyāve been clawing their way up for days, āI canāt stand knowing I let this happen to all of you⦠I canāt do it.āĀ
The message echoes and dies against the walls.
The air in the dorm stills, the intense silence settling like the aftermath of an atomic bomb. The fallout seeps into their clothes, their skin, their lungs, covering them head to toe and inside out. A shaky, broken exhale forces its way out of Hongjoongās chest, and he covers his mouth to try and force it back in.Ā
No one knows what to do, nor what to say. Even Seonghwa, who stands as still as stone behind his best friend, is unsure on how to navigate this.Ā
Hongjoong only feels worse that heās made everyone uncomfortable, and he turns away, hiding his face in his hands as he tries to pull himself together. But itās too late, everything that heās repressed is coming out, demanding to be felt, seen, and heard with or without witnesses. Seonghwa finally is able to step forward, wrapping his arms around the poor leader and gingerly bringing him into a hug.Ā
They stay like that, the dorm quickly becoming a museum of statues. Everyone sits with their own thoughts and feelings in the fallout.Ā
āCome on,ā Seonghwa murmurs after a few minutes, low enough that only Hongjoong can really hear, āyou donāt have to fix it right now.āĀ
He nods towards his room, only as a suggestion. If heād like to stay out here with them, he wonāt push him against it. But Hongjoong lets his hands fall to his sides, head still bowed and turns towards Seonghwaās door. Without another word, he guides the crumbling man from the room with a practiced gentleness, and an innate protectiveness for those he loves most. He blocks him from view as much as he can, all the while telling him that āitās okayā under his breath. Once he opens the door, he turns back to look at the other four. An unspoken ādonāt moveā is clear in his expression, even if he doesnāt say it outright. They hear it loud and clear nonetheless.Ā
Once the two of them are out of the room, the others exhale the breaths theyāve been holding. Wooyoung finally breaks the stillness of the room by collapsing onto the living room chair, slumped further down than one would sit normally. Jongho begins to pace, every once in a while looking up at San before quickly looking away. Neither Yeosang and San move yet. Yeosang watches San, San watches the floor. His head is swimming, vision blurring. He needs to sit down and have a drink of water, but itās like thereās a concrete block weighing his feet down. Rooted to the spot. He blinks and suddenly feels Yeosangās hand on one of his wrists and an arm wrapping around his shoulders, keeping him upright. The adrenaline crash nearly makes him pass out, not trusting his feet to hold his weight as heās guided to the couch to sit and take deep breaths.Ā
The silence that follows is thick and disoriented. Theyāre all waiting for someone to fill it, but⦠the person who usually would is currently out of commission. No one will volunteer. No one wants the job. To take it from Hongjoong is to tell him that they no longer trust him with the position, when in fact heās the only one that could possibly save them. They need their guiding light, the one theyāve poured their trust in all these years to do whatās best. As of right now, theyāre rudderless.Ā
A ship without a captainā¦
Behind the left ajar door of Seonghwaās room, he sits his best friend down on his bed, crouching in front of him.Ā
āWhat do you need most right now?āĀ
Hongjoong doesnāt answer immediately. His eyes flicker towards the door they came through, registering the lack of voices outside. They need him. He knows. Itās so tempting to put on another brave face, but heās already worn through his inventory. The lie sits right there, at the tip of his tongue, waiting to be said.Ā
Making a decision of any kind is too overwhelming.Ā Ā
āāāI need to not be the leader. Just for a couple hours.ā He may as well practice. Mr. Kimās criticism still rings in his ears, buzzing around him like a mosquito.Ā
Seonghwa nods once, with no hesitation. āThen youāre not.ā
No question. No judgement.Ā
āDo you need me to stay?ā Seonghwa asks, ready to stay and begin this Everest climb of damage control, or to disappear like smoke. Like he was never here. Whatever he needs, heāll do it quickly, and without question or judgement. All he waits on is his word.Ā
He only receives a small, barely noticeable shrug in response. But he can work with that. Although itās not often that Hongjoong doesnāt say outright exactly what he wants, Seonghwa is a good reader of body language and he knows his friend like the back of his hand.Ā
He rephrases his question, āWould you like to be alone for a minute?āĀ
Itās less pressure, less judgement. And it pays off. Hongjoong nods, wiping under his eyes with his sleeve, wanting nothing more than a softer silence. No more voices in his head than his own, even if the things he says to himself arenāt the prettiest. A chance to regroup, come back to himself if he can, knowing everyone is safe and within shouting distance so he can focus on being the leader they need him to be. Thereās a part of him that screams at him to act now, to devise a perfect plan now, but it would be no use to push himself again. Thereās simply no gas left in the tank for strategizing anything. So he looks up at Seonghwa, nodding again, this time more clearly. More sure of his decision.Ā
āOkay,ā Seonghwa says, his knees popping a little as he stands back up and heads towards the door, āweāll be right outside if you need anything.ā We. Such a small word makes a world of a difference. Letting him know that not just one person has his back, but all five, just beyond the door. Theyāll do anything for him.Ā
āHwaā¦ā he calls to him softly, right before he leaves. Seonghwa turns around, one hand staying on the doorknob, ātell Sanā¦ā
He doesnāt have to say it.Ā
āIāll take care of it,ā Seonghwa says, closing the door behind him.Ā
They were so quiet, Seonghwa didnāt even realize they were in the middle of a serious conversation just outside.Ā
Wooyoung perks up when he notices his return, āHyung, you wonāt believe what Sanās saying aboutāāĀ
āI probably can.ā Seonghwa interrupts with a sigh, setting himself down on the same couch he fell asleep on earlier, next to San and Yeosang. Nothing Yunho has done can really surprise him anymore after tonight.Ā
At least, he hopes that remains the case.Ā
āNo,ā Wooyoung insists, āitās about Mingi.āĀ
This piques his interest tenfold. What about him? What happened now? Seonghwa leans forward, keeping his eyes on the younger man. Wooyoung looks over at San, his hands clasped together, hunched forward with his elbows resting on his legs. Still, he stares at the floor, unsure of what to make of his memories.
āHeā¦ā heās unsure how to put it, or how to begin relaying the information to him, āI donāt know, itās like he was⦠suddenly on his side.āĀ
Seonghwa blinks. āWhat do you mean?āĀ
San quickly retells the story of what happened since the phone call that got him to leave in the first place, almost down to the minute. He skips around when it comes to Yunho having you give Mingi head mere feet from San. Touching on it, but not exactly giving him a play by play. He doesnāt miss the sharp intake of breath from Seonghwa when he admits that he may have pushed you away from him.Ā
He canāt help but wonder how heās sitting here, living to tell the tale.Ā
āYou did what we couldnāt do. You said ānoā.ā Seonghwa says eventually, after a brief pause, taking all the information in.Ā
āIn a suicidal way, yes.ā Yeosang mutters under his breath.Ā Ā
San just ignores him and continues, āBut anyway, it was Mingi who came in and⦠I guess ācorrectedā me. And he seemed pretty damn serious about it.āĀ
āIt is pretty damn serious when youāre dealing with a fucking psychopathāā Wooyoung quips.Ā
Jongho shushes him.Ā
āEven his threats were serious-soundingā¦ā San continues, ābut I couldnāt help but feel that he didnāt genuinely mean anything he was saying. I know how he looks when heās dead serious about what he says, and I didnāt see that at all. The volume was there, and the harsh words but⦠I donāt know. There was also something he said right before letting me out. He said, ājust keep your head down, pleaseā. Like after all that he did, he was trying to help me.āĀ
Seonghwa leans back against the couch, mind working overtime to try and piece everything together. There was definitely something more to Mingiās sudden switch in loyalty, he knew there had to be a good reason. Not just fear, but something more.Ā
Please. Thatās the word that stuck out the most. It wasnāt a warning nor a threat from Mingi,Ā moreso a plea. He was begging him to keep quiet, stay small, get out as quickly as possible.Ā
āThereās something more to it,ā he murmurs, mostly to himself. āIf Yunho was watching, Mingi wouldnāt risk saying anything that could look disobedient. So why say that at all?ā
āYou think it was some sort of hint?ā Yeosang asks, looking around at the others to see if theyāre asking the same question themselves.Ā
Seonghwa doesnāt answer right away. He runs a hand down his face, feeling the exhaustion in his bones, the fog of too many sleepless nights. But through it, the pattern starts to emerge, everything lining up to make sense the more he thinks about it. If heās right, and he prays that he is, then Mingi has started a dangerous game.Ā
And they need to help him.Ā
āHeās playing along,ā Seonghwa says finally, his tone careful, like heās testing the words out loud for the first time. āIf Yunho thinks heās got him back under control, Mingi can get closer. Gain his trust again.ā
Jongho blinks. āYou really think thatās what heās doing?ā
āI know thatās what heās doing,ā Seonghwa replies, a bit firmer now. āHe knows Yunho better than any of us. He knows exactly how to act to make him believe it. There must be some sort of plan or strategy he has to gain his trust and get her out.āĀ
The room shifts. Not in sound, but in energy. A fragile kind of hope begins to form, cautious and newly born.
San breaks the silence, his voice quiet. āWe have to trust him.āĀ
Seonghwa nods in agreement.Ā
āWe should ask him whenever he gets back.ā Yeosang suggests, checking the time on his phone.Ā
More nods of agreement. They wonāt pass judgement yet, not until they hear from Mingi what they hope to be the truth.Ā
The room is no longer tense, nor thick with fear. Itās anticipation, a glimmer of hope that they have been craving for a sign of. That fabled light at the end of the tunnel. No one wants to get their hopes up before they confront Mingi and get to the bottom of his behavior, butā¦
If San and Seonghwa are right, the first step to ending this has begun.Ā
Yunhoās manager has been watching him for weeks. All of them, really. Itās his job to make sure his idol is at the top of his game, on time, the peak of his health, etc. It helps to be behind the scenes, an inside look on the group as the cracks begin to form. The way the whole room quiets when Yunho walks in, the subtle distancing in the dance practice room and during variety shows. The way Mingi flinches and has to calm himself down any time someone appears behind him unannounced.Ā
Heās been hopeful that the hiatus will sort things out. But a week has already passed, and Yunho is nowhere to be found, once again. Only Hongjoong still comes to the KQ building, to lock himself in his studio and not come out until the sun rises again. Mingi had come in once, throwing his jacket onto the back of a chair in the practice room. He didnāt even practice, just sat there in peace and quiet. Nothing in here gave him trauma flashbacks. He locks the doors so no one can surprise him or interrupt him. Itās almost therapeutic. There are good memories within these walls. He focuses on them more than anything else, and it makes him feel like himself again. At least for a while.Ā
Yunhoās manager had started to follow both Yunho and Mingi. Not every day, but just enough to see the patterns. Always the same route, the same apartment complex deep within the city, far from the dorms, far from the company.Ā
Mingi rarely goes in unless Yunhoās already there.Ā
The manager happened to be there the day that Mingi left his jacket in the practice room. He knew it wasnāt right to snoop, and he hadnāt meant to. He simply had picked it up, with every intention of putting it in Mingiās studio so itās safe. The jingling of keys in the pocket made him curious. At first, he assumed it would be his dorm key, but these ones didnāt look like those at all. Not even close.Ā
This one had a number attached to it. He knows exactly what it stands for, too: the room number in that apartment.Ā
Without thinking, he pockets it.Ā
Yunho had told him that he was going to go visit his family for the week. He checks his phone. Yunho typically leaves his family home to come back to Seoul in the mid-afternoon to get ahead of rush hour traffic, and itās already almost a quarter to six oāclock. Thereās no text saying anything about coming back yet, so he assumes heās still in Gwangju. And Mingi had poked his head into Hongjoongās studio before he left, asking if he would like anything from the convenience store near the dorms.Ā
It was now or never.Ā
He knows it's technically breaking and entering. A tremendous breach of trust and privacy that he has sworn to protect, and not easily gained from Yunho.Ā
But the hallway is empty. The key fits in the door perfectly. It opens without resistance, into the unfamiliar environment of a clearly lived-in area. The air inside feels stale, like itās been trapped inside for months. The curtains are drawn tight, blocking the daylight. The interior is immaculate, like whoever owns the apartment cleans for sport every day. Everything appears almost normal, except for the faint trace of perfume and something metallic in the air. The walls, though painted white, are greyed by what theyāve seen. What theyāve been reluctant witnesses to.Ā
Then he hears someone hurry to their feet from behind a door left slightly ajar. Thereās no time to turn and run before you dash out to the common area, ready to greet Yunho home.Ā
Or, who you thought was Yunho.Ā
Your cheerful, āHi, Daddy!ā dies on your tongue as soon as it sinks in that⦠this is definitely not Yunho.Ā Ā
Once your eyes meet, you freeze in place. Your eyes are stuck wide, afraid to move or even make a sound, your cheery smile fades instantaneously. The two of you stare at each other, both wondering if the other is really here. The manager recognizes you immediately. It creeps up on him after months of not seeing your case in the public eye, but he knows who you are. The reddened marks around your wrists, and the gaunt, haunted look you wear permanently tell him everything he needs to know. The strange behavior from the group all makes sense now. They must all know about you. His face drains of color.Ā
Your stomach churns violently. Youāve let someone see you. And the look on his face lets you know full well that he knows youāre not supposed to be here either.Ā
āY-youāreāā The man stammers, looking all around the apartment, suddenly registering how empty it is. How much like an oversized prison cell youāre both in.Ā
He pulls his phone out of his pocket, rushing to dial the police.Ā
Panicked, and frightened beyond comprehension, you take a step back. Yunho was literally due back any second, having just gone to the store to get food for you both so you could make dinner together. You were looking forward to something so⦠domestic. So close to a normal, cute relationship. Now it was all crumbling down. And if the police were notified, youād be forced back out into the world. Ripped away from Yunho forever. The thought mortifies you.Ā
āPlease,ā you whisper, but the urgency in your voice is akin to a scream, āplease donāt, heāllāā
If nothing else scared him, the look on your face as you see something over his shoulder chills him to the bone.Ā
Instantly you drop down to your knees, face pale and body shaking uncontrollably. He pauses, his finger hovering over the call button on his phone. The police just one tap away. An end, so close it frightens you.Ā
But itās nothing compared to the horror of Yunho appearing in the doorway behind the stranger. At least, to you he was a stranger.Ā
The man stumbles backward, nearly tripping over his own feet in shock. āYunhoā!āĀ
āHyung.ā The word sounds like a threat itself. His voice is so dark, youāve never heard him like this before. This is another level of angry Yunho. Somehow beyond fury, beyond rage. This was nuclear.Ā
This was wrath.Ā
āDoll.ā Yunho snarls, stalking towards his manager like a wolf about to rip apart his prey, āGo to my room. Now.āĀ
The last word hits like a bullet, causing you to sprint back where you came from, closing the door quickly. You hide on your side of the bed, furthest from the door. You bring your knees up to your chest, rocking yourself back and forth as a comfort, but nothing can possibly help you now. No matter how many deep breaths you take, you cannot stop shaking. The burns on your legs start to itch, reminding you of the fire. The lengths Yunho will go to punish you for something like this.Ā
What could possibly be worse than setting the bed on fire?Ā
Unfortunately, it dawns on you that youāre going to find out.Ā
The muffled sounds of pleas and begs fall on two pairs of deaf ears. Itās selfish, but you just know whatever he does to him is mere childās play compared to what awaits you. A sickening crack coming from the living room churns your already weakened stomach, and you press down on the center of your wrist, trying to find that pressure point that relieves nausea, if just a little bit. Your teeth begin to chatter, your heart rate quickly approaches mach speeds the more you think yourself into a spiral.Ā
You desperately want someone to show up and hold you. Convince you beyond hope that youāre going to be okay. You stare at the door over your shoulder, willing someone to be on the other side, just about to open it and let you crawl into their awaiting arms, safe and warm.Ā
But no one comes.Ā
And no one will.Ā
No one but Yunho.Ā
The bedroom door bursts open, and you shriek in surprise at the sight of him.Ā
Blood stains his hands, parts of his clothes, crawling about halfway up his forearms. There are small flecks of blood spatter across his neck, and along his right cheekbone. The strong scent of copper invades your nostrils, metallic and strong. You instinctively shrink further back as he stalks right up to you.Ā
He crouches down directly in front of you, staring you down, his breathing erratic and heavy. Thereās no emotion behind his eyes, only pure fire. Wrath.Ā
āYou let him see you.ā Itās more of a statement than a question.Ā
Your heart sinks all the way down to the lobby. Sheer panic engulfs you, like the fire almost did. Your skin crawls. The body remembers.Ā
āIā Iāā How will you charm your way out of this one, Y/N? You look up at him dumbly, about to make your excuses. Innocently, you thought it was him. No one else had a key to the apartment, it wasnāt outrageous that you would trust that it was him. The manager had caught you by surprise.Ā
Suddenly, he yanks you up to stand by your hair. You bite back a yelp of pain, knowing far worse is heading straight for you.Ā
āBet you wanted him to see you. Call the police. You wanna leave me? Hm?ā His fist flexes, burning your scalp as he pulls at your roots.Ā
āNo! No, Daddy, I donāt want to leave you, please, I promiseāā
āYou know,ā he says with a humorless laugh, āyou almost convinced me of that. But youāre just a lying little slut, arenāt you?āĀ
Your vision blurs as tears spring to your eyes.Ā
āNo, Daddy, noā e-everything happened soāā you swallow, heart leaping into your throat in the middle of your sentence, āso fast, Iā thought youā he wasāāĀ
Itās then that your head is violently turned to the side. The world is knocked sideways, and you donāt recall wanting to turn your head to look at his shoes. You donāt even realize he had hit you until a few seconds later. Completely dazed, you blink in surprise.Ā
Heās never punched you before. Ever. You cradle your cheek with a trembling hand, already feeling your jaw begin to swell. The pain blooms and pulses, discoloring your skin. Your eyes swim with tears now, flowing freely down your cheeks as you look back at him, stunned. Heartbroken.Ā
āDaddyā¦ā you try again, hands desperate to hold onto his shirt, pull him closer, convince him again, but he doesnāt want to hear it. He doesnāt want you to touch him. He even smacks your hand away from him, keeping you at armās length like youāre contagious.Ā
One more try. One more desperate plea. āI love you.āĀ
Yunhoās jaw clenches.Ā Ā
āNo, you donāt.āĀ
Youāre too busy trying to convince him otherwise, begging him silently with your eyes to believe you again, that you donāt notice what he holds in his other hand.Ā
He presses it to your face, and your skin burns. You try to push whatever it is away, but you instantly go lightheaded the more you breathe in. Itās sweet. Sickly sweet, to the point of nauseating.Ā
A violent rush of memories floods your brain. Youād met up with him somewhere⦠you canāt remember where. The music was deafening, not your scene. He was beautiful under the colored lights of the club. Maybe you had one too many drinks, but you felt off. The night was swirling around you, your face burned, you asked him to drive you homeā¦Ā
You woke up here.Ā
Heās strong enough to keep you from moving him away from you at all. You try not to breathe for as long as you can, but that only exacerbates the situation. When your lungs force you to take a breath, theyāre deep, inhaling as much of the toxins as they can before you restrict them again in a vicious cycle. You scream against the rag. But Yunho is deceptively patient. Especially when it comes to punishments.Ā