Cosimo Galluzzi
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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Janaina Medeiros

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Love Begins
Xuebing Du

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@thenightwingx
Break through
Mental break through
Not like praying through
In church where it was a bunch of
Theatrics, bullshit- disguised as change
In the hearts of helpless hopeless teenagers
Who "have a real good idea"
Of what "okay" "correct" And "normal" Are supposed to look like
Realizations like- why do you have friends
You're treating like family? Like people who
Are supposed to maybe love you
Despite you being a prick?
I think maybe that's how a family functions?
Couldn't tell ya-
Because my family taught me a long time ago
That if you're unwanted or unwelcome
That's all you are.
It is just what it is
So friends are friends
And family is.... well it just isn't
Because everyone wants to be married to their best friend
Everyone wants a group of friends
That are their family
Everyone wants their friends to be their family
But anyone who has actually got a family
One that loves them and tries to build that
And still can't be happy with that- well,
Your friends aren't going to fill that hole.
And if your family refuses to be decent enough
I promise you aren't going to be desperately trying
To fill their place.
You're a whole hole- a whole asshole really
An endless fucking black hole
Swallowing all the love anyone could give you
God- to be a never healed wounded soul
To yalp for attention- to scream for help
Unhappy with the solutions presented to you
What a hollow existence, to be laying in
The doctor's bed- to be treated but
Reject the healing-because you want
Your friends to be the medicine
That saves you
Let your friends be your friends
Because family is a heavy burden to carry
Don't be hollow, don't be empty
Don't force a love that does not exist
Because if it never was, it never will be
And if you find it in a friend- a friend not a lover
If you genuinely find family in a friend-
Guard that, protect it
Don't hoist burdens upon it that
It was never meant to bare
Because once the water washes away
And there is no blood- nothing fresh- certainly even unstained
There is no vow, no memory, nothing that remains
Then you are left with nothing
A friend dressed up as family
Will leave a family sized hole
When they leave
And they will
Oh they will leave
And you will feel like you lost so much more
Than just a friend
And that pain will he so unnecessary
Just like it was
When you truly existed
As a person without a family
As a person without friends
Fighting makes me feel at alive.
The last few weeks have been a bit rough. Lots of change in my life. But here's some light sparring after some harder rounds with a very decorated boxer friend of mine.
This sesh helped re-light my fire and re-align my fighting spirit
Light sparring to end the week.
My focus is on maintaining defensive responsibility, not trying to be too open while on the offensive. My homey's is to be a little less gun shy.
Combination work from yesterday. I'm still making lots of mistakes - namely not maintaining defensive responsibility mid/post combo.
I was never really one with great cardio, but I'm trying so hard to stay mindful when the fatigue sets in.
But otherwise I'm glad I'm getting into a more solid flow, and those body kicks are really landing flush.
I've been super focused on getting my kicking game back together, it's caused me to neglect head movement and my boxing.
Every day I try to improve a little bit. Not feeling super great today, but skill is the fruit of discipline. The heart of discipline is consistency.
Going ham, my boy is in fight camp. We're on the grind now, baby.
No breaks over Easter. Fun sparring rounds after heavy bag work.
Officially back on my bullshit. Thailand here I come.
It’s weird when you realize the person you once told everything to now has no idea of what’s happening in your life.
bet me i can’t do it. doesn’t have to be a lot of money. even just, like, a penny. no. bet accepted.