AUTHORS NOTE: When Ethan returned from South America 6 weeks ago he had every intention of keeping his distance from Valerie Valentine. But, intentions falter and emotions take over. In this one-shot story Ethan and V convince themselves into having a friendly movie night with definitely no ulterior motives... right? This is 'More Than Friends' and I hope you enjoy! :)
Ethan
The day had been long and arduous, and with summer drawing to its close the days were starting to get shorter, I prepared myself to enter into an evening that was dusted in a subtle chill.
I pulled on my coat as I made my way to Edenbrooks quiet atrium, the cold white lights was definitely something I was dying to escape from. The plan for this evening was quite simply to go home and enjoy a sip or two of the vintage bourbon sitting on my kitchen shelf; a book in hand, not a sound, not a soul other than myself to break the tranquillity -
But as I came to the atrium floor, I realised that that plan might have to be put on hold.
There sitting in the atrium waiting area was Valerie. Not another person around but maintenance staff heading down the corridor that led to the ER, she sat alone with her bag on the seat next to her, simply watching her heels glide back and forth on the floor.
Her thick curls still perfect even after what I can only imagine had been a tumultuous day- as always she looked....beautiful. And naturally, as I have been since returning from South America, I have been drawn to her inexplicably.
...or maybe not so inexplicably.
I raised a brow as I approached her and said "V?"
She looked up startled a moment before relaxing into a smile "Hi Doctor Ramsey."
I checked the time and said "It's late, are you heading home?"
She sighed "Just waiting for the T. The times get a bit sparse this time of day and since my friends aren't around it's a lot safer waiting here than at the station."
The idea of her travelling alone at this time idea was enough to make me cautious - but undoubtedly the feelings that remained for her were the reason that I decided to abandon my evening plans altogether.
I leaned over and picked up her bag "Come, I'll take you home."
Her eyes widened "Ohno I couldn't ask you-"
I raised a brow "Well luckily you aren't asking. Boston is a relatively safe city but I'd feel much better if I took you home myself."
She smiled softly as her shoulders relaxed, her beautiful brown eyes shining as she said "Well if you're insisting."
She stood up and picked up her coat that was behind her and I stepped closer to her once it was on to adjusted it on her shoulders "I do insist."
"....That's very sweet of you... but my place is an awful long way out of your way. "
I raised my brow as I untucked the hair from her collar "Not at all."
She tilted her head a little "It is. Driving back on yourself to go back through the city at night.... It's a lot of effort."
I chuckled lowly "And what exactly would you suggest alternatively?"
Raising on her tip toes to see behind me before stepping closer "Well... We haven't spent much time together outside of this hospital recently have we? Not since you've been back from South America..."
I dropped my voice and said "Because V the last time we were alone together outside this hospital, we... I couldn't keep my hands off you. Not a good idea, all things considering."
"You're right... And because of all things considering, I was thinking... There's hospital rules about having romantic relationships with colleagues... But nothing about Colleagues being friends."
"Friends?"
She nodded and repeated "Friends. And friends hang out together... Watch a movie together... And stay the night so they don't have to go home alone... Or inconvenience the other by having them drive to other side of the city."
I thought for a moment "So you want to...watch a movie. As friends."
She played with my tie "Ofcourse it will involve going to target and getting movie snacks."
"Oh of course."
She pulled me closer by the tie and smiled "So what do you say? You could of course just take me Home... But where's the fun in that?"
I sighed "You like getting me into trouble, don't you?"
"I'm your friend Ethan I would never do that..."
We were very close now, lips a brush away as I spoke lowly "We could never be, just friends."
She angled her lips over mine "We can pretend, like role play..."
We shared a smile and she placed her lips together before stepping back and holding out her hand "interested?"
I took her hand and said "Only if you play fair. And choose a decent movie."
She gasped "my choice?"
"Your choice."
Once we were side by side I leaned down to her "The sleeping arrangements mean I'm on the couch. Understood?"
"Friends can sleep in the same bed Ethan..."
I chuckled "Not the type of friends we are Rookie."
------
Valentine
It's lucky that Sienna knows about Ethan and I because it's one less friend I have to cover things from-
And ordinarily I wouldn't suggest Ethan and I spending a night alone together, but it's been so long since we were just... Us, the moment I saw him tonight I just wanted nothing more than to be with him.
Even now as I look up to him while we're walking across the target car park I find myself...in admiration of him. I am totally head over heels for this guy and there's not a thing I can do about it...
But importantly, his time in South America did very little for putting a pause on... whatever it is we have. So little I almost feel bad about it. All that distance between us for all of that time, and for the past 6 weeks or so we've been back in each other's lives there's been nothing but constant flirting between the both of us.
But then again... there's nothing too wrong about flirting between friends.
Especially when it's outside of work.
Once we were through the doors and into the warm Ethan said "Okay, I've taken us to this consumer trap nightmare, what are we looking for?"
"Take that back! Target is a wonderful place full of all the things you need and all the things you didn't know you needed!" I said as I looked up to him
"More like the things you don't need." he replied as he picked up a basket
I laughed "Now I'm concerned. You must eat? get groceries, yes?"
"Of course, but I can't say beef jerky is on my list..." He said as he inspected a nearby packet
I smiled "Okay even I don't food shop at Target, but it is good for movie snacks. And you have a sweet tooth so I'm going to take advantage of that."
"You are such a bad influence..."
"I see it as a good thing I'm hour bad influence... Helps you live a little honey." I said
He smiled as he looked down to me "Late night runs to target and a movie night is living a little?"
"Oh yeah compared to what you were probably planning, definitely. And I think that was a glass of bourbon and a book- Was it not?"
"....how did you know it wasn't scotch?"
I smiled "You have your bourbon face on."
He rolled his eyes at that and I laughed "Okay moving on to serious important topics: popcorn."
I started to put a few different flavours in the basket and he raised a brow "How much of this do you expect us to have?"
"How much popcorn do you have at home?"
"I don't have any-"
"And that's your problem! You need to be prepared for other impromptu movie nights with friends!"
"Valerie I don't have friends."
I smiled up go him "Apart from me."
He chuckled "Sure, if we're going to keep calling this a friendship."
I picked up some twizzlers and said "What about your... other friends like me? Ever watch a movie with them?"
He picked up a packet and inspected the back of it "I haven't had a friend like you before. But I can't say I've had a movie night like this with another woman before."
He put it in the basket "Besides. Those days where I had...the type of 'friends' you're referring to ended when we... became friends."
I felt my cheeks warm. There was a sweetness at the sentiment but also a sadness as we couldn't have the one thing both of us wanted...
We looked to each-other and shared a glance before I said "Well...looks like me and you will have to have more movie nights then."
"Looks like it."
I smiled and placed a curl behind my ear before saying "Okay, we have popcorn, we have sweets. Gotta have a little bit of fruit to balance things out."
I took the sleeve of his coat and guided him to a different side of the store as he asked "is this not going to make us feel sick?"
"When you live with my friends your stomach is prepared for these kind of nights! You on the hand might want to rake things slow."
He chuckled "dually noted."
As we came to the fruit section I put a mango and a box strawberries into the basket and Ethan cast me a glance "Is this what a regular evening for Valerie Valentine looks like?"
I smiled as I looked up to him "Yeah, when I'm not studying or working... So actually very rarely. But I do enjoy it. Either a corny comedy series or a wonderfully romantic black and white. It's nice to escape from the outside world for a little bit."
He put some blueberries and blackberries into that basket too "And that's why a book and bourbon was my plan. "
I smiled" Yes but that was alone. You can escape reality with someone else you know.. It's even better"
"Every time I'm with you like this it has to be escaping reality. Reality doesn't allow it."
I pursed my lips and nodded "You're right. But at least there's no rules... Just us."
We shared a smile and I said "Come on, we have a movie night to get on with."
------
Ethan
We drove through the city a buzz with people taking on the night whereas Valerie and I were planning to enter the world that just contained the two of us.
I held open the door for Valerie as we entered my apartment, two target bags in hand with more food than two people could eat in one night- but naturally I hope this won't be the last night she's here.
I flicked the light on and said" Do your friends know you're okay?"
She turned around to me and said "Sienna knows I'm with you and she said she'd cover for me with the others... Although she doesn't entirely trust you or think it's a good idea I'm with you... "
....Understandable. I wouldn't think my friend going back to someone who abandoned them for two months without word to go to South America was a good idea either.
I cleared my throat and raised a brow "Well that makes two of us."
She placed the bag on the kitchen counter "ButI reassured her it was nothing more than a friendly movie. And anyway... "
She turned to me and leaned against the counter as she continued to say "I always know the risks that come with being around you. "
I stepped closer to her "Likewise. For example... Being around you has put my coffee at great risk."
" Explain? "
I raised a brow "A few days after I came back I noticed my coffee tasted dreadful. Upon checking my coffee machine I found that my usual beans had been replaced with-"
I lifted up the shopping bag and put it on the side next to her " a rather subpar house blend that I can only guess was bought from Target. "
She giggled, holding her hands to her face as I said "Now I do know it wasn't you, so I think your friends might have had something to do with it."
"I had no idea. I will have to talk to them about that."
I smiled a little" Really, I admire the ingenuity, breaking into my office? Not so much. But it's not like it wasn't deserved. "
She tilted her head" Maybe. But I'll talk to them about that. I have my own way of getting my own back on you without taking it out on coffee beans ..."
Shamelessly flirting and driving me insane apparently
We were close now and after a moment I said "...Feel free to shower and take what you like from the wardrobe. "
She leaned up and pressed a kiss to my cheek" Thank you. "
She dropped in height once her heels were removed and she went around to my room... And I couldn't help but watch longingly after her. Her beautiful hair... Her elegant way of tip toeing in bare feet-
I wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms just like the first time all those months ago...
But I can't.
I sighed and started to unpack the shopping "Friends. Nothing more than friends."
The biggest lie I have ever told myself....
---
"Oh, my, God! You still have it!!"
I looked up from where I was pouring two glasses of bourbon, Valerie evidently finished with the shower and rummaging through the wardrobe.
Something had perked her interest, which led me to ask "Still have what?"
There were some giggles and after a moment she came out wearing my old sweater that reached just across the mid of her thighs above the knee
"The sweater! The Ethan Ramsey sweater! It always gave sexy nerdy professor." she smiled as she ran her hands over the material
I rolled my eyes, fighting my own smile. "Funny. I thought it was giving warmth."
She held the sleeves in her hands as she sat at the island opposite where I stood "oh it's definitely giving warmth. And it smells just like you... I like it."
I cast a glance to her before sliding a glass and clearing my throat "Keep it if you like. The last time I washed it, it shrunk a little... Besides, it certainly looks better on you."
She smiled "really?"
"Really. Friends can give each other clothes."
"I see you're coming around to my way of thinking." she laughed
"Only when it makes sense to do so. Now, what movie are you thinking? Don't make me regret saying it's your choice."
"I was thinking a classic black and white... Hepburn, Bogie, Holden-"
I chuckled "Sabrina? Of course you'd like Sabrina."
"it's beautifully romantic! What isn't there to like?"
"the fact that Hepburns character ended up Bogart when they had very little in common. It made little sense to me they end up together."
"Perhaps you say that because Bogart and Hepburn didn't like each other in real life- Or maybe you're right. Because why would a young, lively lady fall for an older, grumpier, emotionally unavailable man who is very work orientated?"
I looked up to her as she sipped from her glass with a raised brow" That would be just pure craziness..."
I smiled" Well, it is when there's the Bill Holdens out there that match Hepburns energy. Textbook says that they would be the right match. "
" Mm but texts books are too general. If the lively girl likes the broody man more than anyone else... Then it makes all the sense in the world that she ends up with him."
"....maybe I need to watch it again with a new perspective. "
" I agree! Come on then. "
My father grew up on the classic black and white movies so naturally he passed that experience on to me. He used to collect the VHS tapes of them wen I was a boy and then he moved on to DVDs... A collection which I now own.
And Valerie in her familiarity knew of this box and flicked through until she found the one she wanted.
I smiled a little to myself before putting the fruit in a bowl and bringing that over with her choice of popcorn- the rest of the sweet things already in-front of the couch.
As I sat down I said "If this was a movie night with your friends, what would you be watching instead? I doubt bogart very much."
she smiled as she looked up from the disk in hand "You would be right. Probably some corny romance that makes us cringe but laugh hysterically. something feel good."
she placed the disk in and continued to say "But certainly nothing horror or thriller. I'd be too scared."
I chuckled as I moved to sit lower down on the Couch "I doubt that very much. The fearless Valerie Valentine?"
she came over and sat beside me, her legs curled under her as she said "are you telling me you a fan of the scary?"
I turned my head to her side with a raised a brow "Depends. 'Night of the Hunter' is a scary movie..."
she laughed "Yes but 1955 scary. I could get through that just about... if there was someone to hold my hand."
I smiled a little "Is that so?"
With a nod she smiled too, tilting her head "Yep."
"Then I think when I choose the movie for the next movie night I know what we're watching..."
We were close now- too close.
Close in a way I could smell her lingering perfume...
Close enough that I couldn't help but just stroke a stray curl from her face.
and she held my hand there a moment, our fingers playing with each-other... as absentmindedly we moved even closer...
But I sighed and stopped myself, speaking low between us "....We can't."
She placed her lips tight together and opened her eyes before speaking just above a whisper "Because friends don't kiss, huh?"
"Not the kind of friends we have to be. No."
Our fingers still playing with each other, she smiled softly "Is it crazy i miss you when you're right here next to me? I can feel you... I can see you and hear you but..."
"I know..." I said as my brow creased
she sighed, a comfortable brief silence falling between us before she said "Don't frown. It will give you wrinkles."
I couldn't help but smile at and she returned "Lets just focus on the kind of friends we can be. Because if you didn't already know.... i want to be in your life. not just as 'Rookie' or Doctor Valentine your intern.... more than that. And I'm happy for that to be in any shape or form."
"...I would like that." I spoke as I watched her eyes, knowing anything more than professional between us was dangerous but...
I simply cannot help it.
"Good. In that case we are friends with undeniable sexual tension between each-other but don't speak about it." she said as she leaned forward and picked up the remote.
I chuckled "I might be able to work with that."
"Good. now-"
she handed me the remote before getting up, and before I knew it she was back in the bedroom "I do know that friends can definitely be cosy together on the couch watching a movie."
She came back out carrying a blanket from the wardrobe and I rolled my eyes "Naturally."
a continuous temptation.
I lifted up my arm and she slid close to me, laying the blanket over both of us "Okay. Now I'm ready.
"Good, I'm eager to watch this with the Valerie perspective." I said as I pressed play
she tilted her head back "I'm sure it will be your new favourite."
We shared a smile and with that the credits rolled on.....
and even after she had looked back to the screen, I was yet to take my eyes off- her realising all our futile efforts...
Because friends just don't look at each other like that
but I cannot imagine looking at her any other way.
AUTHORS NOTE: Only a mere few days have passed since the tragic Edenbrook Attack. One perpetrator killed by his own ammunition, two civil servants killed on duty, two traumatised survivors, and a hospital now in the midst of its darkest hour. In todays chapter we see for the first time how the fallout directly impacted the Edenbrook doctors, and the beginning of the difficult road to recovery. This is 'Ghosts' and I hope you enjoy :)
WARNING: This story contains sensitive topics such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Addiction, Grief and Death. Read with Caution.
Ethan
Stable heart rate
Toxin levels nearing zero
Breathing, improving
Slowly decreasing fever
For the past few days I've walked through this hospital amongst a sea of faceless people while the halls have felt bare, lifeless, cold, and somehow dark even under fluorescent lighting.
Somehow, the world was moving fast around me while I have merely been drifting through it with no ability to catch up with it...
I've been stuck in my own world where the only thing of any importance are those next readings.
After treading wearily through those halls, muscle memory taking me to her room... The world that had been black and white...
The face blindness-
All of it lifted
Once I saw her.
With the sun not even fully up yet, I stood in the doorway as small shadows lay cast over an amber lit room, my arms folded as Valerie lay asleep; the beeps from her monitors filled the silence, the flowers dotted around filled the space...
but only in the room.
Pale, although not has pale has she had been- cheeks that are still hollow making her look drained... weak.
Of course she still was...
But seeing it on her face- the face of someone who's mere smile would light up a room, full of so much life and enthusiasm...
To see her like this? Hurts more than words could ever express.
Because while I often teased her about her good and happy nature... I wouldn't want her any other way.
Upon a murmur, I stood up straight just as her heart rate was starting to climb; and is if on cue the muscle memory sprang into action again.
"Valerie-" I stroked her hair back with both hands, her discomfort becoming more obvious as her breathing became laboured.
"Valerie, wake up, It's just a nightmare..."
She took a sharp breath as she bolted up right and I took her shoulders in preparation to slow her movements as tears streamed down her face - no voice of a cry but gulps and gasps of air,
"Look I'm here... You're here... Nothing is happening okay?" I searched her eyes as her hands weakly clutched to mine against her face.
"Okay... Deep breaths for me. Do it with me. Through your nose and out through your mouth."
I started the exercise and it didn't take her long to follow suit...and slowly as her breathing started to return, I held her cheek with one hand and reached out behind me for the chair with the other before slowly sitting down...
"That's it. Relax your shoulders... You're okay...."
She closed her eyes, taking a final deep breath as her shoulders slacked...
My brow creased a little as she opened her eye, speaking with a dry quivering voice "sorry..."
"What do you have to be sorry about?"
She glanced away with soft sniffles and i tried to catch her gaze "You don't need to apologize for being vulnerable..."
"I do... when it's putting your life on hold... I do..."
She looked towards the window, the light showing the streaks of tears on her face "the sun isn't even up, and you're here."
"Because I want to be here. Do you want me to be here?" I raised a brow
She nodded and I continued to say "So there's no problem. Come, I want you to sleep for a little while longer."
"...Will you stay?"
"Yes Rookie."
She nodded, and moved over slightly as I sat on the edge of the bed.... Slowly, she lay down, and just as she has been for the past couple of days when she can't sleep, she lay her head on my lap as I stroked her hair...
"Did you at least go home last night...?"
"Mm. Just for a couple of hours..." I replied
Her shivering body started to calm down, and in turn I was able to relax... slightly.
"And I'm... the stubborn one?"
I smiled softly "Yes... yes you are..."
After a moment, I continued to say "And for the record... nothing, is more important than being here with you- So for goodness sake V... Let me take care of you..."
There was a long pause. Long enough that I thought, perhaps she's already fallen asleep?
But quietly, muffled against me, I heard "Okay, Doctor Ramsey...."
----
Valentine
The next time my eyes blearily opened, out of the window patches of dusty blue sky peeked through grey clouds, the suns light making me wince as I adjusted to brightness....
And upon looking up, I saw where Ethan was still by my side- awake, and flipping between taking notes and updating my chart.
Seeing myself in the mirror has been a shock. In fact the first time I went to a mirror, I cried.
I almost didn't recognize myself - a face pale, drained and slim. Such a change to happen over such a short time... and yet I've been assured by all the doctors I've seen it won't take much longer to return to how I was before. Or at least close .
Ethan on the other hand... Sleep deprived, somehow looking older than he had before, his beard, fuller than before. His hair ruffled without a care- no tie, no white coat.
He's relinquished all other duties, with me being his only patient. I heard the discussion outside my room that first night after we discovered the cure was working...
Flashback
"Ethan, you are not well. You haven't slept for days, you haven't rested nor eaten. I have to send you home now."
"No. I don't need to go home, I need to stay here and monitor the situation. She is still in a risky stage now-"
"And you will be paged if there's an update."
"And what if I don't get here in time? I am the only person still in this hospital that knows the ins and outs of the treatment, I've memories her chart. There's no one here that can take care of her the way I know I can."
He sighed "Ethan, if you do insist on staying in this hospital, I am ordering you to go to the beds in on-call for at least an hour. And you will not be treating or meeting with any other patients until further notice, do you understand?"
"Yes chief."
"The energy you have goes into treating that young lady and if at anytime you are not physically capable of doing so I will take you out of Edenbrook myself."
"...Yes chief."
Now
I remember thinking, I had never heard Naveen be so strict, and Ethan being so willing to bend to demands. It was alien to hear, but yet in the state I was in I could say that for most things...
It's been three days since then, and yesterday was the first time he had returned to his apartment. Yet with in hours... He was right back here.
"You know..."
He looked to me now, realizing I was a wake as I smiled a little and continued to say "Doctor Terminator started off as a joke... But I'm starting to think you really are part machine. How are you still functioning?"
He took off his glasses and said "30, even ten minute sleeping intervals every now and then give me the energy I need. Besides I had a few hours at home. You on the other hand need all the sleep you can get."
"And how'd I do?"
"5 hours in total. Hopefully by the time you're discharged we can get that to 5 hours of consistent sleep at least."
My brow creased "Okay... And just how long until I'm discharged?"
"Not until all your bloods are clear and your vitals return to normal. We also need to get your weight back up too." He raised his brow in return.
I nodded with a sigh "Okay... I can do this."
"I know you can Rookie." He replied, stroking a curl from my face.
I revelled in the comfort as his hand lingered, closing my eyes as I spoke softly "Aren't you worried about someone coming in?"
"...No. That is the least of my concerns."
I opened my eyes before slowly moving myself to sit up, my weak arms supporting my frail state as Ethan stood to help the process- and once I was against the pillows I sighed "Everything is so tiring."
"It will feel that way. All your energy has been stripped- but we're still going to get you into rehabilitation. It's going to be difficult, but the more effort you put in, the sooner you'll start feeling better." He said as he sat back down in the chair.
"And looking better." I said as I felt the contours of my face.
".... you're still the most beautiful girl in the world to me." He leaned forward and took my hand as I looked at him, eyes full of sincerity.
"Nothing could change that. I know it's difficult... But trust me. You're still perfect."
I smiled a little, and he returned, placing a kiss to the back of my hand and I replied "what would I do with out you?"
"You don't have to worry about that. I'm here for everything and anything. Okay?"
I nodded and he stood up before checking the time "okay. Now do you feel like you can manage to eat? Start off with something small, simple?"
"I think so, yes."
He nodded "All you can do is try. I'll talk with physio too. Is there anything else I can do?"
"... Could you find out how Rafael is doing please?"
"Of course."
He stroked my hair and said "I'll be back soon, but you know how to contact me if soon isn't soon enough."
I nodded and just as he reached the door I said "Doctor Ramsey?"
"Valerie?"
".... Thank you. I-"
"I know."
I smiled softly "Good..."
----
Ethan
I closed the door to Valerie's room, releasing a soft sigh as my hand remained on the handle, my eyes shut.
No matter what I do, I want to do more.
I feel as if, if I can't make her better completely here and now... Then I've failed her.
I've failed her by not taking the pain away...
I know the road for her recovery will be a long one- but for once in my life I think my feelings are over powering logic...
"Doctor Ramsey?"
I looked up to see Sienna Trinh stepping towards me, and I offered her a small smile "Hello Doctor Trinh."
She looked from me to the room "Is... Is everything okay?"
"Yes. More or less, that is. She had a nightmare early this morning but she's doing okay now. Awake, smiling a little."
"That's our V." She smiled in return
I nodded and glanced to the floor as she cleared her throat "I also meant... Are you okay too?"
I looked to her once more and said "I am... taking things slowly. I won't be okay. Not for a long time..."
I coughed before continuing to say "But this is all very fresh. All I want is for V to get better."
"She will. She's strong... You know that."
Don't I just...
"...Thank you for asking anyway, Doctor Trinh. I trust you're taking care of yourself?"
"Trying too sir. Luckily I have our friends else... I don't know where I'd be. We're working through it together." She nodded
"Good. If there's anything you need, you know to contact me or Doctor Banerji." I raised a brow
She nodded again "Thank you."
"... before you go in, have you seen Aveiro?"
"Just been actually, he's doing much better. Physio is doing him good."
"I'm very glad to hear it. Can you update Valerie for me? She was asking but I want to get her treatment started today as soon as possible."
"Of course Doctor Ramsey."
I smiled softly before walking around her, when she called out to me "Take care of yourself too."
"I'll certainly try, doctor Trinh."
My idea of helping myself has been getting lost at the bottom of a glass of whiskey, multiple times, every night thus far.
I'm not the kind of person to be vocal about going through hardship, or look for someone to confide in. I'm much rather the suffer alone type as to not burden the people around me who I know care far too much.
However, I'm not stupid. I know that alcohol is a dangerous mechanism...but, I have found that, like most people who turn to a bottle, that it's the only thing that takes the pain away.
The only way to numb it all.
Valerie is still here. For that I'll always be grateful. But I have... So many regrets that I can't begin to deal with.
She was so close to death. His cold hands were reaching out, and I can't help but think it was only mere luck and chance that kept her at arms length for long enough that we could save her.
She was so close... and I had spent the last two years pretending that...
Pretending that I wasn't in love with her.
Breaking her heart, leaving her after everything we had been through without word or acknowledgement...
I did all of that, for the thing that seem... so trivial now.
The job. Position. Status.
She always insisted, there were other options. Ridiculous ones maybe, risky ones too- but I didn't even attempt them.
And then... As if it was a warning from God himself that I had taken her for granted... She was nearly taken from me.
The guilt, the stress and the pain of seeing her in pain... Is all numbed for a little while when the glass is in my hand. The headache the morning after and brief disorientation is the price to pay for that moment of bliss...
But as I said
I'm not stupid.
I recognize it's a problem... And fixing that problem is going to be a part of my road to recovering.
In the physio department, I walked up to the front desk and asked "is doctor McIntyre available? It's important."
The receptionist, taking a double take in a way that suggested she was either shocked to see me or in the state I was (possibly both?) replied "oh yes of course doctor Ramsey! I'll get her."
I suppose I'm thankful for status at a time like this, ordinarily I know they're not so quick to help.
After a moment, doctor McIntyre came out from the back, pulling on her white coat "Doctor Ramsey, it's good to see you."
We shook hands and I nodded "Likewise."
With a raised brow she said "All things considered you look well. How's your mentee doing?"
"Better, thankfully. I was assigned her case and I'm hoping to get her started on rehabilitation." I said as we walked to her office
"What exactly are we dealing with here?"
"Toxic myopathy. Similar to Rafael Aveiros state, although her muscle weakness is concentrated to the lower limbs rather than upper. She's gained some strength back since regaining some appetite... And I think it would be good for her at this stage to focus on other parts of her recovery."
"Is she up for it?"
"Yes. She wants to be able to get out of that room sooner rather than later."
"Understandable. Then in that case I don't see why we can't evaluate her and get her set up with a plan. Mr Aveiro has responded well to the rehab so I can be confident doctor Valentine will respond the same way. We'll start slowly as not to overwhelm her... But once the ball starts rolling, progress will be fast."
I nodded "Good. I'll be available all day so if I'm not on the floor, page me for the evaluation."
She handed me the paperwork to sign from the drawer "of course. I know the Valentine - Aveiro case is sensitive, so is there anything that you'd like me and my team to be aware of before we start?"
As I took the clipboard I glanced to the papers as I answered "Just... Don't mention or reference the attack. Treat her as you would any other patient."
"Understood."
-----
Valentine
"I'm glad you're all okay... I miss you guys. I miss home." My brow sat creased as I spoke to sienna who sat at my bedside.
"And we miss you too, so much. You'll be home before you know it though - doctor Ramsey says you'll be starting rehabilitation soon, that's going to help a lot." She nodded
I sighed "Yeah... I just need to get out of this room. Doing something - anything but just sitting here."
"Don't be so hard on yourself. You're sick, V, you need this time to recover..."
"...I know that. But I've never had my life paused like this. I've always been going somewhere, moving... And this is not that." I tried to explain what I was feeling, and yet I knew unless she was in deepest crevices of my mind she would never understand.
With a smile she squeezed my hand "But you are going somewhere. You're recovering. It might be much slower pace than you're used too... But you're definitely moving, V. And we're all here with you. And with Raf."
I squeezed her hand in return, and nodded with a smile that I tried to make less dejected.... And that's when there was a knock on the door followed by the creak of the handle, and Ethan walked in.
"Sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting?" he raised a brow
"Not at all Doctor Ramsey." Si replied
He nodded as he came to my bedside and as I looked up to him he carefully placed the back of his hand to my forehead "How are you feeling?"
"Better... Now." I spoke softly as I remained fixated on his eyes
Sienna
Doctor Ramseys eyes met hers in an instance...
Eyes are the window to the soul may be a cliché, but in the case of doctor Ramsey and V, it couldn't be any more true.
The complete adoration between them could be felt like waves of electricity. His hand, tentatively moving to brush hair away from her face, his eyes soft in a face etched of pain...
Yet when looking at V, those soft eyes spoke volume that could not be denied.
She was a light he was drawn too like a moth to a flame. Had it extinguished he'd be cast in darkness...so just to be near her now was enough to set his hands trembling.
And V... V watched him as if he was her undoing . She watched him so intrinsically that if taking her eyes away from him would mean he'd cease to exist- so delicate, that the fear was if he did cease to exist, so would she.
If anyone was to ever demand evidence of true love... I would simply say "you haven't seen Ethan Ramsey at V Valentine. "
Stories could be written about their love, tragic and star crossed- yet it's some of the purest I have ever come across.
And that's why I know , without a single doubt in my mind that they are soulmates.
Deep down whether they want to recognize it yet... They can see their future in each other's eyes.
The comfort it brings is what makes their eyes shine so bright...
Yes... I have no doubt that they are soulmates.
Soulmates who were always going to find each other....and have even cheated death.
They are what I aspire to have one day... Once my heart repairs from the loss I am yet to comprehend...
I see them, and still hope that I will be safe with someone again...
Valentine
"Okay... Everything is looking good. I spoke to physio and were going to get your walking rehab started this afternoon, so I'm going to update that part of your chart now and again in a few days."
I nodded "Okay... I can do this."
Si smiled "of course you can. Let's get you up."
I nodded once more and pushed forward the blanket as Ethan moved the chair to one side. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, Sienna walking over to be at my side.
"Alright Rookie, I want you to support yourself with your hands, use all the strength you have. Nice and slowly." Ethan raised a brow
I took deep breath as my eyes fell shut, remembering this is a process I have done thousands of times in my life...
With one push, I got myself up from the bed, a slight wobble as sienna placed her hand by my back.
There wasn't a numbness, no pain at all actually. The sensation was akin to completing a 400 m sprint.
Pure weakness.
I was up and I smiled "that feels good."
Ethan smiled too "I bet. Take a step towards me now."
I went to, but immediately I loss balance and he was quick to reach forwards and hold me up "okay, it's okay, I've got you."
I sighed, holding onto his shoulders "I feel like a fish out of water. Literally."
Sienna rubbed my back as Ethan helped me stand straight again "You need to think about the movement and not expect it to happen. Like... Imagine you're walking on stones in a river!"
Ethan nodded "Take each step tentatively, with thought."
"Okay..."
They stood back a little again, and this time I imagined the river, the stones spread out in front of me. My leg shook a little as I lifted it, but it moved- and while I nearly fell again while moving the other leg, I made it just about.
Ethan smiled "Good. Try twice more without pause for me."
Once again, shaky and uncertain, I took the step... Once more and -
I lost it again.
He caught me and I released a shallow breath as sienna clapped "you did it!'
"Just about..."
"You did great rookie, let's sit you back down though." He said
I nodded and he helped me the edge of the bed as I sighed "how did I manage to have the energy when I found out that the cure was working? I was practically running when I found out- maybe limping but still."
He rolled down his sleeves and said "adrenaline. It's an amazing thing. Because you also have toxic myopathy and the poison has been leaving your body since we have you the treatment your body is working around the clock to give you your strength back."
I looked down to my legs and said "Not fast enough though, they seriously need to hurry up..."
He chuckled "I'm confident you'll be walking just fine in about two weeks. By that time we should be able to discharge you. You certainly won't be running or walking for long periods of time but it's going to be a start."
"Think of it this way V, until then we are at your very back and call." Sienna said
I sighed as Ethan helped me back comfortably onto the bed "You're both very sweet for that but I like being independent. This is just another thing the attack has taken away from me..."
It took away my friends
My happiness
My health
My independence.
What do I have left now?
Ethan
Valerie looked to her hands, dejected and obviously worn out...
Sienna and I looked to each other before I raised a brow, and she nodded before taking leave from the room a moment.
I took V's hand and said "Listen. I know this is a lot to deal with all at once. I don't know how hard it is, or exactly what you're going through... But soon, all of this will be in the past. You will move on from this."
"How? Bobby and Danny are gone, I can't walk, Raf is-"
She took a deep shaking breath, eyes brimming with tears and my brow creased as I sat on the edge of the bed "Don't cry... Don't cry..."
I pulled her into my arms and kissed her forehead as I held her close "Take it each day at a time... It's not going to be easy. It's going to be hard, it's going to hurt and make you fall down sometimes. But none of that matters as long as you get up, each and every time."
I parted from her a little and wiped her cheeks "It can only take things away from you if you let it, Valerie. I know... Bobby and Danny are gone. But I don't think they can ever truly be gone when you and Aveiro are here to keep their memory alive. You're in control of that. Not the trauma."
She nodded and I stroked her cheek softly "...You're going to be just fine. Stand with me."
"Doctor Ramsey I C-"
"Can. You can." I raised a brow
I stood up first before taking her hands and pulling her up from the bed once more "Okay. I'm not going to let go of you this time. Hold my hands as tight as you need too..."
She squeezed my hands and as I took a step backwards, she took a step forwards. Some weakness but I maintained her balance as we repeated the steps.
"You're doing great Rookie, nearly at the window."
Once my heels hit the wall and the momentum stopped, she lost her balance again and I held her up "There you go, I've got you."
She sighed as I helped her stand straight again and she glanced behind her to see how far she'd come "A hospital room has never looked so big."
"It is big. And all I did was stop you from falling. You held your own..." I nodded
"Looks like I'll have to put my gymnast career on hold for a while but it's definitely a improvement." She said as she looked down at her socks
I smiled "There's always the next Olympics."
She laughed a little as she looked back up to me and I said "Come on, let's sit get you back down. Don't want to tire you out too much before the evaluation."
I picked her up bridal style, her arms falling over my shoulders... She was so light I feared I was going to lift her to the ceiling as I over estimated
Once I got her on the bed, Sienna knocked on the door and said "room service! We have toast with jam, if you like, juice and orange slices. Hungry?"
"I actually am... Especially if it's strawberry jam?" She raised a brow
"Yep! Not raspberry, don't worry." Sienna laughed as she placed on her lap
"There is a difference, and strawberry is superior." She smiled a little
"I'll finish up your chart and then look into getting you some decent coffee too- in fact I'll get some from Derry roasters and-"
"Nope."
I looked up and said "...nope?"
She uses the tiny knife to her spread jam and raised a brow "you, doctor Ramsey, are going to the on call room to sleep. You're old, old people need sleep. Especially old people who are running around looking after the emotional mess that is Valerie Valentine."
I rolled my eyes "First I'm not that old, Just reasonably older than yourself. Secondly there is nothing I'd rather be doing than taking care of you, that includes sleeping."
"Doctor Ramsey I have things under control here, you should sleep. You did tell me you'd you'd try to take care of yourself..." Sienna said
I sighed as V raised a brow "Can't take care of me if you're not functioning."
"....fine. Just an hour but Trinh you get me immediately if anything. And definitely for physio's eval-"
"Go. I'm okay now. Promise. Take some toast." She said as she handed me a piece
I sighed as I took it "Trinh, make sure she eats at least half of that."
"You got it sir, she's in capable hands."
I know that...
But as I stand here now, watching her peel her orange and arrange the segments next to her toast...
I don't want to leave her side.
I kissed her temple and said "I'll see you later Rookie."
She looked up and placed her finger tips to my jaw "See you later. I'll be just fine... Promise."
I nodded, squeezed her hand fondly and with that... And my toast, I reluctantly took my leave...
----
Sienna
After I made sure V had eaten, I left her to sleep before her physio evaluation this afternoon. The small steps she had done with doctor Ramsey were enough to tire her weak frame.
...I knew from the moment I met V that we were destined to be best friends.
She's so spirited, funny and she stands firmly for what she believes in. Genuine and righteous, V is one of the best people you could ever hope to know or have in your life.
But as seems to be the case, the worst things happen to the best people...
I entered the cafeteria where the rest of our friends were gathered, and all attention was suddenly turned on me- the silent group speaking volumes with pure expression.
Bryce sat up straight and asked "How's she doing Si?"
As I fiddled with my hands I stood at the head of the table and replied "I'm... I'm not sure. She's still very weak and of course emotionally distraught about the whole thing. She's trying her best to put a brave face on though."
Jackie's brow creased "Any word on when she can come home?"
"Doctor Ramsey thinks about two weeks. She needs to be able to walk and get her weight back up before they can even think to discharge her."
They looked down cast and I continued to say "Guys it's only been 4 days since the attack- it's early stages. We're all still reeling from it. She's already making some progress... We just have to be here supporting her, and Rafael."
"We know... We just miss her. A lot." Elijah said
"I know. She's V, she'll pull through this and be back with us before you know it." I tried to give them a confident smile
Of course she will be, but I know it can be hard to see that now
The thing is, Rafael was hit by a large amount of the toxin and was critically sick sooner than V was. Hers was gradual but intense.
But for some reason, more of V was compromised over all. Like all toxins, it affects people differently. Raf was left with little arm movement and coordination, while for V lost leg strength and thus her ability to walk.
Critically Rafs breathing became affected and suffered from the toxicity levels whereas for V her whole immune system crashed and caused the toxins in her bloods to become life threatening.
Bryce, as serious as any of us have ever seen him, gently tapping his fist to the table with stern concentration "it's not fair. It's not fair Raf and V have to go through this while Tra-"
Jackie held up her hand "Don't. Don't even say his name, it's blasphemy in this hospital."
He looked up "Alright, then what about the Senator? I don't see him being concerned about them, when if it wasn't for them he'd be dead right now."
My brow creased "Guys I know we're angry, I know we're upset but there is nothing we can do now. It's in the past, it can't be changed. The senator is a slimy good for nothing weasel, we know that. But for V and Raf, we need to focus on them and their recovery. Can we do that?"
There were some incoherent murmurs of what I presumed to be agreement as I sat down with a sigh "I'm angry too. I'm so angry that I can't stop baking cupcakes, the kids in paediatrics are fed up with all the frosting-"
I took a deep breath and said "I'm angry, but my friends are always my priority. Danny is gone. He's gone, and I can't even comprehend yet that I'll never see him again. Never tell him what... What I wanted to tell him."
I sniffed before rolling my shoulders back "But V and Raf are here. So we focus on what we have and not take that for granted. Not what could've or should've been. We can do that at the memorial. Right now, they need us."
Bryce sighed "I know you're right Sienna. We all do...."
There were nods amongst the solemn faces, and I ran my hand over my hair with a sigh
"Second years?"
We all looked up to see doctor Ramsey coming over, and that commanding presence of his made everyone sit up with alert
"Good Morning Doctor Ramsey." Jackie said
He stood at the head of the table and said "Good morning. I apologize for interrupting, I just wanted to... Check in, with all of you."
He cleared his throat and raised his brow slightly "V is my main priority - as my mentee that is, and as someone on my team. You're her friends, and... I can understand to some degree what it is your going through."
He glanced to the floor "But I can assure you that there's nothing in my power that I won't do to ensure she's happy, and she's healthy. Her labs are clear, her first Physio Therapy session starts within the hour. Mr Aveiro is also making a strong recovery. But I think there's something you all could do that would... be greatly beneficial to her. And yourselves."
Elijah's eyes widened "What is it doctor Ramsey?"
"May I take a seat?"
"Don't need to ask us twice, of course!" I replied
With a thanks he took a seat and with our eager attention at the ready he relayed a plan...
------
Valentine
"Doctor Valentine?"
With a small Jump I looked away from the window to see doctor McIntyre at the door frame.
My shoulders relaxed and I sighed "doctor McIntyre, hello."
"I apologize, I didn't mean to frighten you. Doctor Ramsey said you'd like to start physio therapy today to get you walking again?" She raised a brow as she closed the door
I smiled softly "That would be great, yes. The sooner I walk the sooner I can go somewhere that isn't here."
She laughed sympathetically "That's understandable. It's going to be difficult to start but once the balls rolling you'll be up on your feet in no time."
I fiddled with my hands before clearing my throat "Um, do you happen to know if Doctor Ra-"
There was a knock at the door, and swiftly doctor Ramsey came inside "My apologies for being late, I was... briefly caught up."
I smiled as doctor McIntyre said "you're actually just on time doctor Ramsey, we're about to get started."
He put his hands in his pockets as he came to my bedside "How are you doing Rookie? Are you still okay to do this?"
"I think so. Eating something has given me some energy so I should be alright." I nodded
He nodded slowly too for a moment before looking back to doctor McIntyre "Taking things slow?"
"Of course. And if it at any time you want to finish for the day let me know."
I nodded Sounds good. What do you need me to do first?"
From on top of her bag she picked up a rubber matt that she unfurled before laying it out in front of me "First, we need to see exactly what you can, and can't do, without any help or support from anyone else."
My eyes widened "Unfortunately I can't do a lot."
"That's okay, just try your hardest. The mat will cushion you if you fall."
When I fall.
She stood back against the window and Ethan watched on as I used my hands to swing my body to the edge of the bed, feet landing on the mat.
Just like earlier, I pushed against the mattress to stand- not stable, and with slight balance issue, I was up.
Walking however was the triumph I had yet to win over completely.
With the first step I took, it felt like my knee was ready to collapse on itself, but before I could fall my other leg moved to support myself.
Taking one step.
But taking another?
No.
That river with pebbles I had envisioned before became a dark ocean I crashed into, falling down onto the mat in front of me with a gasp of air
Ethan was at my side the moment I landed and pulled me up to the edge of the bed again "falling has become my specialty."
"If it makes you feel any better you're very graceful when doing it." he said
We shared a small smile and doctor McIntyre said "I think we're in a good place. Some patients can't even stand, never mind take a single step. What we're going to do is start with some basic exercises here in your room, then we'll move into doing some gym work once we get you moving."
"Sounds good."
Ethan smiled a little "You're on the way now Rookie. I should leave you to get a start-"
I looked to him "Do you have to go? I mean- if you're not busy I would like you to stay."
Aware we weren't alone, he cleared his throat "I have nowhere else to be, as long as I won't get in the way Susan?"
She shook her head "Not at all, another doctor in the room can only do us good. Besides I'm sure V you'd prefer to have someone you're close to in here?"
"Close?" We said in unison
She smiled and raised a brow "well you are teacher and student after all, you have a good relationship?"
Ethan and Valentine
I suppose you can call it that
Valentine
He cleared his throat and stood "yes, yes we do- professionally over time we've gotten to know each other so... Yes. We do."
We've never been smooth....
"Family friends and partners make the process easier, so you can relax. We're going to start with some wall squats..."
I looked up to Ethan as she started to arrange the room "is it silly I'm scared?"
"Not at all. But I'll be here every step of the way."
Once set up both he and doctor McIntyre helped me to the wall, heels against the trim.
"Okay V, slowly try to move to a squat, slide down the wall, pushing your feet to the ground as hard as you can. Hold on to me for support." She said
I nodded and she stood in front of me, hands out stretched which I held
And slowly, very slowly with plenty of relentlessly trembling I was getting to the position
I took a few deep breaths as Ethan's brow creased "Does it hurt?"
"A little, yeah." I felt my own brow crease as I held firmer to doctor McIntyre
"It will for the first couple of times you do it. When you absolutely cannot handle it tell me."
I grit my teeth through trembling legs, but I could no longer hold my own
With a gasp of pain again I slid straight onto the door , still holding on to doctor McIntire "Very good V, good start."
Ethan crouched down to me and said "Can you rate the pain from 1 to 10 for me?"
"... about a 7. I feel like I have been crushed." I winced
Doctor McIntyre edited her notes "okay, a six... And you were there for 9 seconds. That's good."
Ethan raised a brow "because she's stubborn. Determined. Regardless of anything else."
I smiled "learned from the best sir."
He smiled in return as they both helped me up again and doctor McIntire said "Let's go for it again. Have a goal of 15 seconds for todays exercise?"
I nodded "Okay. Let's do it."
Determined and stubborn?
I'd say so
----
An hour or so later
----
Ethan
"She's doing good, Ethan. Just under 15 seconds, pain down to 5. Baby steps." Susan said as she packed away while Valerie was in the bathroom.
I nodded "I know. I just can't help but worry."
As she placed her bag on her shoulder she raised a brow "With all due respect, are you sure working on her case is for the best? Like we said, you're close. Can blind your judgement."
If only she knew.
I shook my head "Not at all. I believe I'm...just bias enough to be someone she can confide in without it effecting my medical judgement.
"Then I trust that judgement. take care of yourself, and everything else will work out. alright?" she said as we walked to the door
i nodded "thank you. See you tomorrow."
she gave a soft smile, and once the door closed behind her, i released a soft sigh, hand lingering on the handle
"Hey."
I turned around to see V holding onto the bathroom doorway and I smiled softly "Hey."
I went over to her and she said "okay if I try to get there myself?"
I raised a brow as I stopped just short of her "Of course. Just...take your time."
she nodded and i took a few steps back, sitting on the edge of the bed
she pushed away from the wall slowly, attentively and in a slight shuffle with her arms out she started to make her way over, the occasional loss of balance that she regained
and a step away, she lost her footing- but i caught her by the waist in time
she laughed a little as she held my shoulders "Roller skating, without the skates."
I smiled "Well you're moving, that's the most important thing regardless of how you're doing it. and I think you'd suit some roller skates."
"Mm me too. How about pink sparkly ones?" she raised a brow
I chuckled "I'll pick some up for you tomorrow."
We held each others gaze a moment before she sighed and tilted her head, still holding my shoulders as she stood between my legs "So. This is the first time we've been alone together all day.... When i haven't been sleeping that is."
"Well... Maybe with good reason."
"Oh?"
"Hm. The last thing you need is to worry about the subject of... us. Which is still complicated regardless of how I feel about you."
"I'm not worried... Just thinking. Thinking about... How you haven't kissed me yet." She replied
I smiled as I stood up, holding her waist "And you can think about that all you want once you're lying down."
I pulled back the blanket before guiding her to the bed "Denying me while I'm sick? Cruel and not fair."
"On the contrary, very fair. " I raised a brow as she sat against the pillows
"And why's that? It could only make me feel better I'm sure." She protested
I chuckled and stroked her hair "As convincing as you are Rookie, I'm firm on the decision. However..."
I leaned down and kissed her forehead softly "I hope that that makes you feel... Even slightly better."
"I suppose it does a little..."
"A little is still good. Now, I have to go and see Naveen but I'll be back soon. And I have every intention to make this up to you. In a non sensual matter."
She laughed "Where's the fun in that?"
"Exactly."
She rolled her eyes and I stroked her hair ".... You must know it isn't because I don't want to. Of course I do. But you have always had this ability to impair me reasoning. My thoughts and actions."
I raised a brow "The closer I get to you, the stronger that influence is. And I can't look after you that way. not in the way I want to."
She nodded "More reason for me to get better, huh?"
I chuckled "Yes. Yes it is."
I stroked her cheek before standing up "Get some rest and I'll be back later."
"See you later..."
The best way I can think to describe Valerie is as a siren.
What makes that even more complex is that I don't think she knows she's a siren. she has the capability to be so alluring, intriguing and... always completely and utterly breath-taking. when reason, and everything that comes with it tells you to stay away for your sake and hers, just here mere presence beckons you closer to her...
So close, that you throw away everything rational. everything that makes sense.
So, while I would very much like to kiss her, to be nearer to her particularly when I know we could both use that comfort...
I cannot be anymore impaired than I already am. The pain I have felt, the worry and dread has made me determined to power through her healing process with her, but anything else? Well im afraid i might crumble.
So distance...at least for now, might be what's best.
for both of us.
"Ethan?"
I turned around in the atrium to see where Naveen was walking over, and he smiled softly "Looks like I'm the one running late for our meeting. Apologies old friend."
"I'm sure its me that's early. its no worry at all."
once he caught up we went to the elevator and he said "I wish I could tell you look well but then that wouldn't be the truth."
His honesty is always appreciated
I raised a brow "Well we cant all be as spirited and lively as we age like some, hm Naveen?"
He laughed as the doors closed "No, but that isn't entirely what I mean. A shave might do you some good don't you think?"
"Apart from for appearances sake, what else could that possibly achieve? Unless it will make V better, then nothing important." I raised a brow
"You're too young to be this cynical. V is doing just fine son, but taking care of yourself is important too."
I looked up to the numbers ticking by as we reached our floor "I always tell V that. I don't want her to be as cynical as I am. "
"Maybe showing her would be better than just saying, hm?"
I smiled as we went towards the office "Wasn't it you who once said that I was cynical in the womb? I wont change that easily."
He laughed "Yes I did say that but you were getting on my nerves that day, as you often did when you were V's age. and you still do occasionally like now, when you refuse to take care of yourself."
"I am taking care of myself. I've been home, showered, had coffee, had some of Valerie's toast this morning. I'm doing just fine. But you?How are you?" I raised a brow
he chuckled a little "Kind of you to ask even if its just to change the topic to someone else."
"Well yes, but I... also care. Considering the amount of press we've had, legal problems the board on your back? The stress upon you must be enormous."
As we went inside he said "...I suppose. If I wasn't so use to handling things myself I would hire someone to handle the PR, as for legal problems and the board they tend to be the same problem. But we will persevere."
He started to make some tea and released a sigh as I sat in front of his desk "It's been a long and busy time. But for everything we do I remember the hardships Mr Aveiro and Doctor Valentine have been through... The families of Mr Gunderson, Nurse cardinal."
He shook his head "It all seems so small."
I glanced to my lap "I know the feeling...and yes you're right. Hence why I don't care to shave."
He chuckled as he turned around "Hence why you should care to shave. Unless..."
"Unless what?" I raised a brow
He shrugged his shoulders "well you didn't shave when you returned from the Amazon... Perhaps, maybe you don't want to shave because a... certain young lady likes the beard?"
My eyes widened "what are you talking about?"
He smiled "who, my boy. Doctor Valentine of course! Yes, I'm sure of it. If you don't want a full shave maybe neaten it for the girl at least-"
I pinched the bridge of my nose "Naveen, this is ridiculous. It's like you don't know me at all."
"Did you ask Doctor Valentines opinion on the beard?"
I watched him for a moment before saying "No. Well, not exactly. She... mentioned the beard, how it was a change... and I simply asked if it was a good change."
"To which she responded yes so you kept the beard!"
He raised a brow with a knowing smile "Out of all the people in this hospital I'm the last person you need to hide your feelings from. Regardless of what you say... I know it to be true."
"... Whether It's true or not people are speculating. The kind of speculation from anyone else can be career ruining. So admitting such a thing or even entertaining it is not something I plan on doing."
As he placed a tea in front of me I said my thanks as he took a seat at his own desk "Well then you won't mind as a friend that has seen situations like this... Hypothetical one you're in that is, whether it's true or not-"
Mental eye roll
"You cannot help who you have feelings for. So eventually something will bring these feelings to the surface... Such as a tragic experience..."
I kept my face still as he continued to say "It will put things into perspective. And... Hypothetically of course you'd have to make some difficult decisions. But it would be important to remember something."
I glanced to my mug before I spoke "out of curiosity, what's that?"
"...Life can be very empty and meaningless without someone to enjoy it with. Someone who brings you joy. Jobs, reputation, all of it- none of it is worth it. And if what you fear is the consequence it might have for that other person?"
He raised a brow "Well. Think of the consequences to them... If they have to go through weeks... months... Even years, being denied what they truly want. How the course of their life changes by that decision... And yours."
"At the end of every love story Ethan, the girl is always worth the endeavours the hero had to survive to be with her. Nothing keeps that kind of affection apart."
I watched the steam rise out of the mug "Life isn't always a fairy-tale Naveen..."
"Maybe not. But the choices we make? Those can make the chances grow don't you think? If you choose to follow what you feel in here." He placed his hand to his chest.. the feeling I felt that night in Miami with hers against mine radiating throughout as if I was reliving it.
"Sometimes that all you need to do. Rationality be damned."
Maybe he's right...
I shook my head and cleared my throat before sitting up straight "I cannot believe I was listening to that"
He laughed and I said "Now we've gone on such a long tangent maybe we should start the meeting?"
"As you wish. But don't forget what I said." He raised a brow as he took his books from his desk drawer.
"Yes whatever you say."
He chuckled again and shook his head "Alright, now let's start with an update from the board..."
Naveen...
A man I've always seen to be reasonable.
Words like that from him...
They have enough power to turn the tide...
And that's what I fear....
------
Valentine
That evening.
In my room with the lamp casting it's warm glow over the room, sienna sat cross legged at the foot of my bed where I was curled up against the pillows- having a chat that would be nice with the other girls but...
It's a topic of the most discretion.
She smiled and said "so he hasn't kissed you yet?"
"No he hasn't. And I understand why, it's important we stay at least a little professional. He's my caregiver after all." I raised a brow
"Is that why he stays here all day and all night with you? Can't say many primary caregivers are doing that."
I blushed a little "Well no... But it's not easy to hide. Not when Something like this happens anyway."
"... Can I ask you something?" She leaned forward
I nodded and she continued to say "Could you... See yourself marrying him?"
I laughed softly "Marrying Doctor Ramsey?"
She smiled and nodded as I sighed and continued to say "I... I think I could see it. For me anyway...I don't think marriage is in the cards for him. He's... Well, Ethan Ramsey. Could you see him, wife and kids?"
"No... But he'd be good at it." She laughed
I laughed too "Agreed. But you see? I just can't imagine he would... Besides we're not even dating-"
"But he's totally in love with you."
I rolled my eyes "Be careful Si I'll get carried away. I've never understood why he would like me..."
She raised a brow "No, we can't understand why you'd like him. You're sweet, funny and incredibly smart! You're one of the kindest people I know. Ethan Ramsey is... Scary."
I laughed and hugged my knees "Maybe. But... I don't know, he's just... My idea of a man. Strong, independent, dedicated and assured. A dry sense of humour and a certain sternness about him. Behind all that though is a very sweet man...I feel comfortable around him. Safe... "
"It's because he's so tall." She smiled
I sighed contently and rested my chin to my knees "Yes that too. And he's incredibly handsome..."
"Well that's why most girls like him until they talk to him."
I laughed "Yeah. But he's a sweetheart...in his own way that is."
At that there was a knock at the door and I sat up straight before saying "Come in!"
The door opened and, speak of the devil, Ethan Ramsey walked in.
I smiled "Doctor Ramsey we were just talking about you."
His eyes widened as the door closed behind him "Good things I hope?"
"Very good things doctor Ramsey I promise." Sienna said as she stood up
He cleared his throat "Good then I suppose. How are you feeling V?"
"Okay. Been better of course but... Overall I'm okay. Just a little Shakey but it's quite easy to be cold when you've lost this much body weight." I raised a brow
Si placed another blanket around my shoulders "You'll be okay. I'll go and see you later, I know Doctor Ramsey has things covered."
I smiled and said "Thanks Si."
As Ethan came to my side he smiled too "Yes thank you Doctor Trinh."
She picked up her stuff and with that took her leave...
And once again
Just me and the good doctor
I looked up to him and said "Hi..."
As he sat down on the edge of the bed he replied "Hi... sure you're feeling alright?"
"Yes. You're here aren't you?" I smiled
He chuckled and glanced away "Yes but we won't be here for long."
I raised a brow "We're not?"
"No. Because Tonight I'm kidnapping you, doctor Valentine." He said as he stood up
My eyes widened "Ethan honey are you okay? Did you bump your head, have too much coffee?"
He chuckled "No, Nothing like that. First of all terms of endearment from you make it very difficult to keep my distance- I can't promise I'm that strong willed."
I laughed and he went over to his bag "Secondly, you should know by now regardless of any other actions that I care for you immensely. And I understand being here, in this room all day every day can't be making you too happy. So it's my professional opinion that you should... Have a break. Fresh air."
I smiled "So... Honey-"
He chuckled and shook his head as I continued to say "if it's your professional opinion why do I need to be kidnapped?"
"... because the rest of the staff don't know you like I do. And getting out of here is what you want, isn't it?" He said said as he walked back over to me
I nodded and he nodded too "Then that's what we're going to do. Not for long though, I'm still cautious..."
He stroked my cheek softly "But you know I wouldn't do anything I didn't think was safe for you... Not a single risk. "
I leaned into his touch "I know..."
"Good. But if it don't want to go we don't have to."
I nodded "I want to go."
"Then, you will be needing a change of clothes. I picked these up for you. Something warm, comfortable." He said as he took some clothes from his bag
One of my thick white jumpers and jeans, the perfect outfit for going out.
".... you're perfect doctor Ramsey. Thank you..." I said softly as I ran my hand over the jumper
"...I've seen perfection. I'm far from it."
I looked to do see him watching me, then he cleared his throat "Now, up you come. We have some time, no nurses will be coming by for a while."
"Because they trust doctor Ramsey wouldn't kidnap a patient?" I laughed as he helped me up
"Something like that." He raised a brow
I cupped his jaw and said "Thank you. Breaking the rules for me? You really do care..."
"You're the only person I care about...the only one I'd break the rules for." He watched my eyes with a small crease in his brow
"... I'm going to the bathroom now... Because if I stay here any longer I will kiss you. I won't be held responsible." I spoke quietly between us
"Good idea then..."
I did kiss his cheek, and he guided me to the bathroom, reaching the door frame just in time.
-----
Soon, I was in a wheelchair with Ethan at the handles, peering down the hall to see who was coming-
I looked up to him and said "is this going to work?"
"Of course it will. If anyone asks we're going to the gardens, okay?"
I nodded and he said "Okay. Then let's go."
He pushed me around the corner so we were in the hall, and I tilted my head back to him "You know I always imagined down the line it would be me pushing you in a wheelchair old man.'
He chuckled "Is that so? You thought that far ahead?"
I smiled "uh huh, you'd still be director of the diagnostics team because we'd never get you to retire so I'd push you around the halls. It would be fun. Me and you, still the best mentor mentee duo, like you and Naveen!"
"Glad you plan on sticking around here that long."
I gestured "I have some sort of trauma bond to the place now, couldn't leave if I wanted too."
He sighed "Your humour has always been baffling to me Valerie."
Keeps him on his toes.
Which is apparently what he's trying to do for me by designing this prison - I mean, hospital break.
The few people we did meet were with curt nods, and eventually we were outside into the evening...
And the crispness of the early days of winter felt so fresh against my cheeks... I wanted to reach out and hold it.
Every sensation made me realize with a new gratitude that I was alive...
And from here, things can only get better
Once we were by Ethan's car he opened the door and helped me inside before he folded the wheelchair and put it haphazardly in the back.
As he got in the driver's seat I raised a brow "Stealing wheelchairs now huh doctor Ramsey?"
"It's not stealing... Merely borrowing. Besides couldn't very well return you without it could I?" He said as he turned the ignition on
I laughed "Kidnapping me is without a doubt go down as the strangest thing you have ever done. Just where are you taking me?"
'You'll find out. Somewhere familiar don't worry. But that laugh and smile is the reason I'm doing it. Rules be damned." He nodded once before reversing out
"...you make the rules worth breaking."
I looked up to him as he focused on the road, as if such a sweet thing was natural for anyone to say... As if it wasn't what I had been longing to hear him say...
As if he couldn't believe he had spoken the words at all.
I smiled, simply smiled at him and he noticed in the rear-view mirror...
The smile speaking the volumes my words could not...
Ethan
After a long leisurely drive through the city with the windows wound down upon V's request, soon enough we were sitting in Donahue's car park where she watched the gleaming beer garden lights in front of her... Her expression almost unreadable as she spoke softly
"I almost thought I'd never be back here... It's weird."
I followed her gaze and said "Is it okay? To be here?"
"Oh it's more than okay..."
She looked to me, resting her head against the seat "My fondest memories have been at Donohue's. Having a scotch or two with you after hours, playing darts with my friends and celebrating birthdays..."
I smiled softly and she returned "With the darkness in my thoughts right now... These are the kind of memories I want to have."
I stroked a curl behind her ear and said "Hopefully we can give you some new ones too. Come, Reggie will be looking forward to seeing you."
"Oh likewise." She smiled
----
We walked inside of Donohue's, Valerie's arm looped through mine as she took small steps while I held her frail form
A night of normality means no wheelchair unless necessary
"There she is. How are you doing kid?" Reggie said from behind the bar with a grin, even taking off his sunglasses
"Reggie, oh I've never been so happy to see you!"
She sat down and he said "Me and you both. What will it be tonight?"
She looked to me "Can I drink?"
I nodded "One glass won't hurt."
I smiled "Then in that case whiskey on the rocks with a twist. Just a shot please."
"Coming up. Ramsey?"
I noticed the bottles in the back, but taking a deep breath of restraint I Said "I will take a water. Designated driver and would rather not have the distraction."
He nodded once and gave V a soft shoulder squeeze before walking over to make her drink
Valerie on the other hand looked around and said "I can't help but notice... We're the only ones here?"
"That would be correct. Reggie was open to having a quiet night... And I thought this could be -"
Reggie bought the drinks over and said "I'll be in the back doing the books. Call if you need anything."
She smiled "Thank you Reggie."
As he left I continued to say "I thought this could be a chance for a quiet moment away from the hospital. Your friends will be here in... 10 minutes."
She smiled as I stood up and said "But until then, it's me, you and an empty bar."
I leaned over it and turned the volume of the soft jazz up "So? Would you care to dance with me while no one else is around?"
"Just like we used too?" She spoke above a whisper
"Just like we used too." I held out my hand and she placed hers in mine before I helped her up
I held her close as we moved to the floor, light in my arms she intertwined her fingers with mine...
My gaze flicked back to her eyes "have I mentioned how beautiful you are?"
She blushed a little "You need some sleep, I'm aware I look dreadful."
"Not at all. No matter how sick you are it doesn't change your eyes... Your smile. You are beautiful."
With a smile she said "if you think flattery is going to make me feel better... You are so right."
We laughed as I brought her close to me, letting her lean entirely on me "Good..."
She took a deep breath, resting her cheek against me as she said "Ethan?"
"Valerie?"
"...do I have to go back to Edenbrook?"
I sighed and paused briefly "...Yes sweetheart. Not for much longer but a little while... I promise you won't be there a moment longer than you need to be."
She nodded against me and I kissed her crown "You're being so brave... I need you to be brave a little while longer for me."
"I can do that... On one condition."
"Name it."
She looked up to me "kiss me."
"That would be an easy condition... If I wasn't afraid of getting too-"
She reached up, dealing her arms over my shoulders before pressing her lips to mine...
And I forgot every single excuse I had been coming to with for the past few days... My arms wrapping around her... But acknowledging her fragility.
The occasional breath of air before resuming... Soft, deep... Not looking for desperation but rather to keep the moment lasting as long as possible...
And once we slowed, she pressed another kiss to my lips before opening her eyes "Enough excuses Ethan. If I've learnt anything... Life is too short, and there-"
"You're right. Life is too short and so are these ten minutes before your friends arrive. You have me at your will now so why are you talking?" I raised a brow
She smiled "Oh doctor Ramsey..."
We met again and I held her close once more... Completely lost, complete entranced with each other...
After that first kiss in Miami, I knew I'd never be the same man again... Because I knew that everything I am, belonged in part to her
But after the events of the last week, I've realized that everything I am is entirely hers
She brings me to my knees, begging for her affection, begging for her admiration...
Not one person on earth has that power to make me crumble...
But Valerie Valentine?
Oh Valerie Valentine is my undoing...
Her very kiss that I feared would only return to me in heart-breaking dreams breathes life into the cold vessel that I fear I am, until I look into her eyes and see that I am more than that...
More than that to her.
Her light gives me, purpose and a reason to be a better man.
AUTHORS NOTE: When Ethan returned from South America 6 weeks ago he had every intention of keeping his distance from Valerie Valentine. But, intentions falter and emotions take over. In this one-shot story Ethan and V convince themselves into having a friendly movie night with definitely no ulterior motives... right? This is 'More Than Friends' and I hope you enjoy! :)
Ethan
The day had been long and arduous, and with summer drawing to its close the days were starting to get shorter, I prepared myself to enter into an evening that was dusted in a subtle chill.
I pulled on my coat as I made my way to Edenbrooks quiet atrium, the cold white lights was definitely something I was dying to escape from. The plan for this evening was quite simply to go home and enjoy a sip or two of the vintage bourbon sitting on my kitchen shelf; a book in hand, not a sound, not a soul other than myself to break the tranquillity -
But as I came to the atrium floor, I realised that that plan might have to be put on hold.
There sitting in the atrium waiting area was Valerie. Not another person around but maintenance staff heading down the corridor that led to the ER, she sat alone with her bag on the seat next to her, simply watching her heels glide back and forth on the floor.
Her thick curls still perfect even after what I can only imagine had been a tumultuous day- as always she looked....beautiful. And naturally, as I have been since returning from South America, I have been drawn to her inexplicably.
...or maybe not so inexplicably.
I raised a brow as I approached her and said "V?"
She looked up startled a moment before relaxing into a smile "Hi Doctor Ramsey."
I checked the time and said "It's late, are you heading home?"
She sighed "Just waiting for the T. The times get a bit sparse this time of day and since my friends aren't around it's a lot safer waiting here than at the station."
The idea of her travelling alone at this time idea was enough to make me cautious - but undoubtedly the feelings that remained for her were the reason that I decided to abandon my evening plans altogether.
I leaned over and picked up her bag "Come, I'll take you home."
Her eyes widened "Ohno I couldn't ask you-"
I raised a brow "Well luckily you aren't asking. Boston is a relatively safe city but I'd feel much better if I took you home myself."
She smiled softly as her shoulders relaxed, her beautiful brown eyes shining as she said "Well if you're insisting."
She stood up and picked up her coat that was behind her and I stepped closer to her once it was on to adjusted it on her shoulders "I do insist."
"....That's very sweet of you... but my place is an awful long way out of your way. "
I raised my brow as I untucked the hair from her collar "Not at all."
She tilted her head a little "It is. Driving back on yourself to go back through the city at night.... It's a lot of effort."
I chuckled lowly "And what exactly would you suggest alternatively?"
Raising on her tip toes to see behind me before stepping closer "Well... We haven't spent much time together outside of this hospital recently have we? Not since you've been back from South America..."
I dropped my voice and said "Because V the last time we were alone together outside this hospital, we... I couldn't keep my hands off you. Not a good idea, all things considering."
"You're right... And because of all things considering, I was thinking... There's hospital rules about having romantic relationships with colleagues... But nothing about Colleagues being friends."
"Friends?"
She nodded and repeated "Friends. And friends hang out together... Watch a movie together... And stay the night so they don't have to go home alone... Or inconvenience the other by having them drive to other side of the city."
I thought for a moment "So you want to...watch a movie. As friends."
She played with my tie "Ofcourse it will involve going to target and getting movie snacks."
"Oh of course."
She pulled me closer by the tie and smiled "So what do you say? You could of course just take me Home... But where's the fun in that?"
I sighed "You like getting me into trouble, don't you?"
"I'm your friend Ethan I would never do that..."
We were very close now, lips a brush away as I spoke lowly "We could never be, just friends."
She angled her lips over mine "We can pretend, like role play..."
We shared a smile and she placed her lips together before stepping back and holding out her hand "interested?"
I took her hand and said "Only if you play fair. And choose a decent movie."
She gasped "my choice?"
"Your choice."
Once we were side by side I leaned down to her "The sleeping arrangements mean I'm on the couch. Understood?"
"Friends can sleep in the same bed Ethan..."
I chuckled "Not the type of friends we are Rookie."
------
Valentine
It's lucky that Sienna knows about Ethan and I because it's one less friend I have to cover things from-
And ordinarily I wouldn't suggest Ethan and I spending a night alone together, but it's been so long since we were just... Us, the moment I saw him tonight I just wanted nothing more than to be with him.
Even now as I look up to him while we're walking across the target car park I find myself...in admiration of him. I am totally head over heels for this guy and there's not a thing I can do about it...
But importantly, his time in South America did very little for putting a pause on... whatever it is we have. So little I almost feel bad about it. All that distance between us for all of that time, and for the past 6 weeks or so we've been back in each other's lives there's been nothing but constant flirting between the both of us.
But then again... there's nothing too wrong about flirting between friends.
Especially when it's outside of work.
Once we were through the doors and into the warm Ethan said "Okay, I've taken us to this consumer trap nightmare, what are we looking for?"
"Take that back! Target is a wonderful place full of all the things you need and all the things you didn't know you needed!" I said as I looked up to him
"More like the things you don't need." he replied as he picked up a basket
I laughed "Now I'm concerned. You must eat? get groceries, yes?"
"Of course, but I can't say beef jerky is on my list..." He said as he inspected a nearby packet
I smiled "Okay even I don't food shop at Target, but it is good for movie snacks. And you have a sweet tooth so I'm going to take advantage of that."
"You are such a bad influence..."
"I see it as a good thing I'm hour bad influence... Helps you live a little honey." I said
He smiled as he looked down to me "Late night runs to target and a movie night is living a little?"
"Oh yeah compared to what you were probably planning, definitely. And I think that was a glass of bourbon and a book- Was it not?"
"....how did you know it wasn't scotch?"
I smiled "You have your bourbon face on."
He rolled his eyes at that and I laughed "Okay moving on to serious important topics: popcorn."
I started to put a few different flavours in the basket and he raised a brow "How much of this do you expect us to have?"
"How much popcorn do you have at home?"
"I don't have any-"
"And that's your problem! You need to be prepared for other impromptu movie nights with friends!"
"Valerie I don't have friends."
I smiled up go him "Apart from me."
He chuckled "Sure, if we're going to keep calling this a friendship."
I picked up some twizzlers and said "What about your... other friends like me? Ever watch a movie with them?"
He picked up a packet and inspected the back of it "I haven't had a friend like you before. But I can't say I've had a movie night like this with another woman before."
He put it in the basket "Besides. Those days where I had...the type of 'friends' you're referring to ended when we... became friends."
I felt my cheeks warm. There was a sweetness at the sentiment but also a sadness as we couldn't have the one thing both of us wanted...
We looked to each-other and shared a glance before I said "Well...looks like me and you will have to have more movie nights then."
"Looks like it."
I smiled and placed a curl behind my ear before saying "Okay, we have popcorn, we have sweets. Gotta have a little bit of fruit to balance things out."
I took the sleeve of his coat and guided him to a different side of the store as he asked "is this not going to make us feel sick?"
"When you live with my friends your stomach is prepared for these kind of nights! You on the hand might want to rake things slow."
He chuckled "dually noted."
As we came to the fruit section I put a mango and a box strawberries into the basket and Ethan cast me a glance "Is this what a regular evening for Valerie Valentine looks like?"
I smiled as I looked up to him "Yeah, when I'm not studying or working... So actually very rarely. But I do enjoy it. Either a corny comedy series or a wonderfully romantic black and white. It's nice to escape from the outside world for a little bit."
He put some blueberries and blackberries into that basket too "And that's why a book and bourbon was my plan. "
I smiled" Yes but that was alone. You can escape reality with someone else you know.. It's even better"
"Every time I'm with you like this it has to be escaping reality. Reality doesn't allow it."
I pursed my lips and nodded "You're right. But at least there's no rules... Just us."
We shared a smile and I said "Come on, we have a movie night to get on with."
------
Ethan
We drove through the city a buzz with people taking on the night whereas Valerie and I were planning to enter the world that just contained the two of us.
I held open the door for Valerie as we entered my apartment, two target bags in hand with more food than two people could eat in one night- but naturally I hope this won't be the last night she's here.
I flicked the light on and said" Do your friends know you're okay?"
She turned around to me and said "Sienna knows I'm with you and she said she'd cover for me with the others... Although she doesn't entirely trust you or think it's a good idea I'm with you... "
....Understandable. I wouldn't think my friend going back to someone who abandoned them for two months without word to go to South America was a good idea either.
I cleared my throat and raised a brow "Well that makes two of us."
She placed the bag on the kitchen counter "ButI reassured her it was nothing more than a friendly movie. And anyway... "
She turned to me and leaned against the counter as she continued to say "I always know the risks that come with being around you. "
I stepped closer to her "Likewise. For example... Being around you has put my coffee at great risk."
" Explain? "
I raised a brow "A few days after I came back I noticed my coffee tasted dreadful. Upon checking my coffee machine I found that my usual beans had been replaced with-"
I lifted up the shopping bag and put it on the side next to her " a rather subpar house blend that I can only guess was bought from Target. "
She giggled, holding her hands to her face as I said "Now I do know it wasn't you, so I think your friends might have had something to do with it."
"I had no idea. I will have to talk to them about that."
I smiled a little" Really, I admire the ingenuity, breaking into my office? Not so much. But it's not like it wasn't deserved. "
She tilted her head" Maybe. But I'll talk to them about that. I have my own way of getting my own back on you without taking it out on coffee beans ..."
Shamelessly flirting and driving me insane apparently
We were close now and after a moment I said "...Feel free to shower and take what you like from the wardrobe. "
She leaned up and pressed a kiss to my cheek" Thank you. "
She dropped in height once her heels were removed and she went around to my room... And I couldn't help but watch longingly after her. Her beautiful hair... Her elegant way of tip toeing in bare feet-
I wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms just like the first time all those months ago...
But I can't.
I sighed and started to unpack the shopping "Friends. Nothing more than friends."
The biggest lie I have ever told myself....
---
"Oh, my, God! You still have it!!"
I looked up from where I was pouring two glasses of bourbon, Valerie evidently finished with the shower and rummaging through the wardrobe.
Something had perked her interest, which led me to ask "Still have what?"
There were some giggles and after a moment she came out wearing my old sweater that reached just across the mid of her thighs above the knee
"The sweater! The Ethan Ramsey sweater! It always gave sexy nerdy professor." she smiled as she ran her hands over the material
I rolled my eyes, fighting my own smile. "Funny. I thought it was giving warmth."
She held the sleeves in her hands as she sat at the island opposite where I stood "oh it's definitely giving warmth. And it smells just like you... I like it."
I cast a glance to her before sliding a glass and clearing my throat "Keep it if you like. The last time I washed it, it shrunk a little... Besides, it certainly looks better on you."
She smiled "really?"
"Really. Friends can give each other clothes."
"I see you're coming around to my way of thinking." she laughed
"Only when it makes sense to do so. Now, what movie are you thinking? Don't make me regret saying it's your choice."
"I was thinking a classic black and white... Hepburn, Bogie, Holden-"
I chuckled "Sabrina? Of course you'd like Sabrina."
"it's beautifully romantic! What isn't there to like?"
"the fact that Hepburns character ended up Bogart when they had very little in common. It made little sense to me they end up together."
"Perhaps you say that because Bogart and Hepburn didn't like each other in real life- Or maybe you're right. Because why would a young, lively lady fall for an older, grumpier, emotionally unavailable man who is very work orientated?"
I looked up to her as she sipped from her glass with a raised brow" That would be just pure craziness..."
I smiled" Well, it is when there's the Bill Holdens out there that match Hepburns energy. Textbook says that they would be the right match. "
" Mm but texts books are too general. If the lively girl likes the broody man more than anyone else... Then it makes all the sense in the world that she ends up with him."
"....maybe I need to watch it again with a new perspective. "
" I agree! Come on then. "
My father grew up on the classic black and white movies so naturally he passed that experience on to me. He used to collect the VHS tapes of them wen I was a boy and then he moved on to DVDs... A collection which I now own.
And Valerie in her familiarity knew of this box and flicked through until she found the one she wanted.
I smiled a little to myself before putting the fruit in a bowl and bringing that over with her choice of popcorn- the rest of the sweet things already in-front of the couch.
As I sat down I said "If this was a movie night with your friends, what would you be watching instead? I doubt bogart very much."
she smiled as she looked up from the disk in hand "You would be right. Probably some corny romance that makes us cringe but laugh hysterically. something feel good."
she placed the disk in and continued to say "But certainly nothing horror or thriller. I'd be too scared."
I chuckled as I moved to sit lower down on the Couch "I doubt that very much. The fearless Valerie Valentine?"
she came over and sat beside me, her legs curled under her as she said "are you telling me you a fan of the scary?"
I turned my head to her side with a raised a brow "Depends. 'Night of the Hunter' is a scary movie..."
she laughed "Yes but 1955 scary. I could get through that just about... if there was someone to hold my hand."
I smiled a little "Is that so?"
With a nod she smiled too, tilting her head "Yep."
"Then I think when I choose the movie for the next movie night I know what we're watching..."
We were close now- too close.
Close in a way I could smell her lingering perfume...
Close enough that I couldn't help but just stroke a stray curl from her face.
and she held my hand there a moment, our fingers playing with each-other... as absentmindedly we moved even closer...
But I sighed and stopped myself, speaking low between us "....We can't."
She placed her lips tight together and opened her eyes before speaking just above a whisper "Because friends don't kiss, huh?"
"Not the kind of friends we have to be. No."
Our fingers still playing with each other, she smiled softly "Is it crazy i miss you when you're right here next to me? I can feel you... I can see you and hear you but..."
"I know..." I said as my brow creased
she sighed, a comfortable brief silence falling between us before she said "Don't frown. It will give you wrinkles."
I couldn't help but smile at and she returned "Lets just focus on the kind of friends we can be. Because if you didn't already know.... i want to be in your life. not just as 'Rookie' or Doctor Valentine your intern.... more than that. And I'm happy for that to be in any shape or form."
"...I would like that." I spoke as I watched her eyes, knowing anything more than professional between us was dangerous but...
I simply cannot help it.
"Good. In that case we are friends with undeniable sexual tension between each-other but don't speak about it." she said as she leaned forward and picked up the remote.
I chuckled "I might be able to work with that."
"Good. now-"
she handed me the remote before getting up, and before I knew it she was back in the bedroom "I do know that friends can definitely be cosy together on the couch watching a movie."
She came back out carrying a blanket from the wardrobe and I rolled my eyes "Naturally."
a continuous temptation.
I lifted up my arm and she slid close to me, laying the blanket over both of us "Okay. Now I'm ready.
"Good, I'm eager to watch this with the Valerie perspective." I said as I pressed play
she tilted her head back "I'm sure it will be your new favourite."
We shared a smile and with that the credits rolled on.....
and even after she had looked back to the screen, I was yet to take my eyes off- her realising all our futile efforts...
Because friends just don't look at each other like that
but I cannot imagine looking at her any other way.
AUTHORS NOTE: When Ethan returned from South America 6 weeks ago he had every intention of keeping his distance from Valerie Valentine. But, intentions falter and emotions take over. In this one-shot story Ethan and V convince themselves into having a friendly movie night with definitely no ulterior motives... right? This is 'More Than Friends' and I hope you enjoy! :)
Ethan
The day had been long and arduous, and with summer drawing to its close the days were starting to get shorter, I prepared myself to enter into an evening that was dusted in a subtle chill.
I pulled on my coat as I made my way to Edenbrooks quiet atrium, the cold white lights was definitely something I was dying to escape from. The plan for this evening was quite simply to go home and enjoy a sip or two of the vintage bourbon sitting on my kitchen shelf; a book in hand, not a sound, not a soul other than myself to break the tranquillity -
But as I came to the atrium floor, I realised that that plan might have to be put on hold.
There sitting in the atrium waiting area was Valerie. Not another person around but maintenance staff heading down the corridor that led to the ER, she sat alone with her bag on the seat next to her, simply watching her heels glide back and forth on the floor.
Her thick curls still perfect even after what I can only imagine had been a tumultuous day- as always she looked....beautiful. And naturally, as I have been since returning from South America, I have been drawn to her inexplicably.
...or maybe not so inexplicably.
I raised a brow as I approached her and said "V?"
She looked up startled a moment before relaxing into a smile "Hi Doctor Ramsey."
I checked the time and said "It's late, are you heading home?"
She sighed "Just waiting for the T. The times get a bit sparse this time of day and since my friends aren't around it's a lot safer waiting here than at the station."
The idea of her travelling alone at this time idea was enough to make me cautious - but undoubtedly the feelings that remained for her were the reason that I decided to abandon my evening plans altogether.
I leaned over and picked up her bag "Come, I'll take you home."
Her eyes widened "Ohno I couldn't ask you-"
I raised a brow "Well luckily you aren't asking. Boston is a relatively safe city but I'd feel much better if I took you home myself."
She smiled softly as her shoulders relaxed, her beautiful brown eyes shining as she said "Well if you're insisting."
She stood up and picked up her coat that was behind her and I stepped closer to her once it was on to adjusted it on her shoulders "I do insist."
"....That's very sweet of you... but my place is an awful long way out of your way. "
I raised my brow as I untucked the hair from her collar "Not at all."
She tilted her head a little "It is. Driving back on yourself to go back through the city at night.... It's a lot of effort."
I chuckled lowly "And what exactly would you suggest alternatively?"
Raising on her tip toes to see behind me before stepping closer "Well... We haven't spent much time together outside of this hospital recently have we? Not since you've been back from South America..."
I dropped my voice and said "Because V the last time we were alone together outside this hospital, we... I couldn't keep my hands off you. Not a good idea, all things considering."
"You're right... And because of all things considering, I was thinking... There's hospital rules about having romantic relationships with colleagues... But nothing about Colleagues being friends."
"Friends?"
She nodded and repeated "Friends. And friends hang out together... Watch a movie together... And stay the night so they don't have to go home alone... Or inconvenience the other by having them drive to other side of the city."
I thought for a moment "So you want to...watch a movie. As friends."
She played with my tie "Ofcourse it will involve going to target and getting movie snacks."
"Oh of course."
She pulled me closer by the tie and smiled "So what do you say? You could of course just take me Home... But where's the fun in that?"
I sighed "You like getting me into trouble, don't you?"
"I'm your friend Ethan I would never do that..."
We were very close now, lips a brush away as I spoke lowly "We could never be, just friends."
She angled her lips over mine "We can pretend, like role play..."
We shared a smile and she placed her lips together before stepping back and holding out her hand "interested?"
I took her hand and said "Only if you play fair. And choose a decent movie."
She gasped "my choice?"
"Your choice."
Once we were side by side I leaned down to her "The sleeping arrangements mean I'm on the couch. Understood?"
"Friends can sleep in the same bed Ethan..."
I chuckled "Not the type of friends we are Rookie."
------
Valentine
It's lucky that Sienna knows about Ethan and I because it's one less friend I have to cover things from-
And ordinarily I wouldn't suggest Ethan and I spending a night alone together, but it's been so long since we were just... Us, the moment I saw him tonight I just wanted nothing more than to be with him.
Even now as I look up to him while we're walking across the target car park I find myself...in admiration of him. I am totally head over heels for this guy and there's not a thing I can do about it...
But importantly, his time in South America did very little for putting a pause on... whatever it is we have. So little I almost feel bad about it. All that distance between us for all of that time, and for the past 6 weeks or so we've been back in each other's lives there's been nothing but constant flirting between the both of us.
But then again... there's nothing too wrong about flirting between friends.
Especially when it's outside of work.
Once we were through the doors and into the warm Ethan said "Okay, I've taken us to this consumer trap nightmare, what are we looking for?"
"Take that back! Target is a wonderful place full of all the things you need and all the things you didn't know you needed!" I said as I looked up to him
"More like the things you don't need." he replied as he picked up a basket
I laughed "Now I'm concerned. You must eat? get groceries, yes?"
"Of course, but I can't say beef jerky is on my list..." He said as he inspected a nearby packet
I smiled "Okay even I don't food shop at Target, but it is good for movie snacks. And you have a sweet tooth so I'm going to take advantage of that."
"You are such a bad influence..."
"I see it as a good thing I'm hour bad influence... Helps you live a little honey." I said
He smiled as he looked down to me "Late night runs to target and a movie night is living a little?"
"Oh yeah compared to what you were probably planning, definitely. And I think that was a glass of bourbon and a book- Was it not?"
"....how did you know it wasn't scotch?"
I smiled "You have your bourbon face on."
He rolled his eyes at that and I laughed "Okay moving on to serious important topics: popcorn."
I started to put a few different flavours in the basket and he raised a brow "How much of this do you expect us to have?"
"How much popcorn do you have at home?"
"I don't have any-"
"And that's your problem! You need to be prepared for other impromptu movie nights with friends!"
"Valerie I don't have friends."
I smiled up go him "Apart from me."
He chuckled "Sure, if we're going to keep calling this a friendship."
I picked up some twizzlers and said "What about your... other friends like me? Ever watch a movie with them?"
He picked up a packet and inspected the back of it "I haven't had a friend like you before. But I can't say I've had a movie night like this with another woman before."
He put it in the basket "Besides. Those days where I had...the type of 'friends' you're referring to ended when we... became friends."
I felt my cheeks warm. There was a sweetness at the sentiment but also a sadness as we couldn't have the one thing both of us wanted...
We looked to each-other and shared a glance before I said "Well...looks like me and you will have to have more movie nights then."
"Looks like it."
I smiled and placed a curl behind my ear before saying "Okay, we have popcorn, we have sweets. Gotta have a little bit of fruit to balance things out."
I took the sleeve of his coat and guided him to a different side of the store as he asked "is this not going to make us feel sick?"
"When you live with my friends your stomach is prepared for these kind of nights! You on the hand might want to rake things slow."
He chuckled "dually noted."
As we came to the fruit section I put a mango and a box strawberries into the basket and Ethan cast me a glance "Is this what a regular evening for Valerie Valentine looks like?"
I smiled as I looked up to him "Yeah, when I'm not studying or working... So actually very rarely. But I do enjoy it. Either a corny comedy series or a wonderfully romantic black and white. It's nice to escape from the outside world for a little bit."
He put some blueberries and blackberries into that basket too "And that's why a book and bourbon was my plan. "
I smiled" Yes but that was alone. You can escape reality with someone else you know.. It's even better"
"Every time I'm with you like this it has to be escaping reality. Reality doesn't allow it."
I pursed my lips and nodded "You're right. But at least there's no rules... Just us."
We shared a smile and I said "Come on, we have a movie night to get on with."
------
Ethan
We drove through the city a buzz with people taking on the night whereas Valerie and I were planning to enter the world that just contained the two of us.
I held open the door for Valerie as we entered my apartment, two target bags in hand with more food than two people could eat in one night- but naturally I hope this won't be the last night she's here.
I flicked the light on and said" Do your friends know you're okay?"
She turned around to me and said "Sienna knows I'm with you and she said she'd cover for me with the others... Although she doesn't entirely trust you or think it's a good idea I'm with you... "
....Understandable. I wouldn't think my friend going back to someone who abandoned them for two months without word to go to South America was a good idea either.
I cleared my throat and raised a brow "Well that makes two of us."
She placed the bag on the kitchen counter "ButI reassured her it was nothing more than a friendly movie. And anyway... "
She turned to me and leaned against the counter as she continued to say "I always know the risks that come with being around you. "
I stepped closer to her "Likewise. For example... Being around you has put my coffee at great risk."
" Explain? "
I raised a brow "A few days after I came back I noticed my coffee tasted dreadful. Upon checking my coffee machine I found that my usual beans had been replaced with-"
I lifted up the shopping bag and put it on the side next to her " a rather subpar house blend that I can only guess was bought from Target. "
She giggled, holding her hands to her face as I said "Now I do know it wasn't you, so I think your friends might have had something to do with it."
"I had no idea. I will have to talk to them about that."
I smiled a little" Really, I admire the ingenuity, breaking into my office? Not so much. But it's not like it wasn't deserved. "
She tilted her head" Maybe. But I'll talk to them about that. I have my own way of getting my own back on you without taking it out on coffee beans ..."
Shamelessly flirting and driving me insane apparently
We were close now and after a moment I said "...Feel free to shower and take what you like from the wardrobe. "
She leaned up and pressed a kiss to my cheek" Thank you. "
She dropped in height once her heels were removed and she went around to my room... And I couldn't help but watch longingly after her. Her beautiful hair... Her elegant way of tip toeing in bare feet-
I wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms just like the first time all those months ago...
But I can't.
I sighed and started to unpack the shopping "Friends. Nothing more than friends."
The biggest lie I have ever told myself....
---
"Oh, my, God! You still have it!!"
I looked up from where I was pouring two glasses of bourbon, Valerie evidently finished with the shower and rummaging through the wardrobe.
Something had perked her interest, which led me to ask "Still have what?"
There were some giggles and after a moment she came out wearing my old sweater that reached just across the mid of her thighs above the knee
"The sweater! The Ethan Ramsey sweater! It always gave sexy nerdy professor." she smiled as she ran her hands over the material
I rolled my eyes, fighting my own smile. "Funny. I thought it was giving warmth."
She held the sleeves in her hands as she sat at the island opposite where I stood "oh it's definitely giving warmth. And it smells just like you... I like it."
I cast a glance to her before sliding a glass and clearing my throat "Keep it if you like. The last time I washed it, it shrunk a little... Besides, it certainly looks better on you."
She smiled "really?"
"Really. Friends can give each other clothes."
"I see you're coming around to my way of thinking." she laughed
"Only when it makes sense to do so. Now, what movie are you thinking? Don't make me regret saying it's your choice."
"I was thinking a classic black and white... Hepburn, Bogie, Holden-"
I chuckled "Sabrina? Of course you'd like Sabrina."
"it's beautifully romantic! What isn't there to like?"
"the fact that Hepburns character ended up Bogart when they had very little in common. It made little sense to me they end up together."
"Perhaps you say that because Bogart and Hepburn didn't like each other in real life- Or maybe you're right. Because why would a young, lively lady fall for an older, grumpier, emotionally unavailable man who is very work orientated?"
I looked up to her as she sipped from her glass with a raised brow" That would be just pure craziness..."
I smiled" Well, it is when there's the Bill Holdens out there that match Hepburns energy. Textbook says that they would be the right match. "
" Mm but texts books are too general. If the lively girl likes the broody man more than anyone else... Then it makes all the sense in the world that she ends up with him."
"....maybe I need to watch it again with a new perspective. "
" I agree! Come on then. "
My father grew up on the classic black and white movies so naturally he passed that experience on to me. He used to collect the VHS tapes of them wen I was a boy and then he moved on to DVDs... A collection which I now own.
And Valerie in her familiarity knew of this box and flicked through until she found the one she wanted.
I smiled a little to myself before putting the fruit in a bowl and bringing that over with her choice of popcorn- the rest of the sweet things already in-front of the couch.
As I sat down I said "If this was a movie night with your friends, what would you be watching instead? I doubt bogart very much."
she smiled as she looked up from the disk in hand "You would be right. Probably some corny romance that makes us cringe but laugh hysterically. something feel good."
she placed the disk in and continued to say "But certainly nothing horror or thriller. I'd be too scared."
I chuckled as I moved to sit lower down on the Couch "I doubt that very much. The fearless Valerie Valentine?"
she came over and sat beside me, her legs curled under her as she said "are you telling me you a fan of the scary?"
I turned my head to her side with a raised a brow "Depends. 'Night of the Hunter' is a scary movie..."
she laughed "Yes but 1955 scary. I could get through that just about... if there was someone to hold my hand."
I smiled a little "Is that so?"
With a nod she smiled too, tilting her head "Yep."
"Then I think when I choose the movie for the next movie night I know what we're watching..."
We were close now- too close.
Close in a way I could smell her lingering perfume...
Close enough that I couldn't help but just stroke a stray curl from her face.
and she held my hand there a moment, our fingers playing with each-other... as absentmindedly we moved even closer...
But I sighed and stopped myself, speaking low between us "....We can't."
She placed her lips tight together and opened her eyes before speaking just above a whisper "Because friends don't kiss, huh?"
"Not the kind of friends we have to be. No."
Our fingers still playing with each other, she smiled softly "Is it crazy i miss you when you're right here next to me? I can feel you... I can see you and hear you but..."
"I know..." I said as my brow creased
she sighed, a comfortable brief silence falling between us before she said "Don't frown. It will give you wrinkles."
I couldn't help but smile at and she returned "Lets just focus on the kind of friends we can be. Because if you didn't already know.... i want to be in your life. not just as 'Rookie' or Doctor Valentine your intern.... more than that. And I'm happy for that to be in any shape or form."
"...I would like that." I spoke as I watched her eyes, knowing anything more than professional between us was dangerous but...
I simply cannot help it.
"Good. In that case we are friends with undeniable sexual tension between each-other but don't speak about it." she said as she leaned forward and picked up the remote.
I chuckled "I might be able to work with that."
"Good. now-"
she handed me the remote before getting up, and before I knew it she was back in the bedroom "I do know that friends can definitely be cosy together on the couch watching a movie."
She came back out carrying a blanket from the wardrobe and I rolled my eyes "Naturally."
a continuous temptation.
I lifted up my arm and she slid close to me, laying the blanket over both of us "Okay. Now I'm ready.
"Good, I'm eager to watch this with the Valerie perspective." I said as I pressed play
she tilted her head back "I'm sure it will be your new favourite."
We shared a smile and with that the credits rolled on.....
and even after she had looked back to the screen, I was yet to take my eyes off- her realising all our futile efforts...
Because friends just don't look at each other like that
but I cannot imagine looking at her any other way.
Hi all! I am a choices fanfic writer, specifically I write for the characters Ethan Ramsey and MC (Valerie Valentine). I have been writing this pairing since 2020 and have a very expansive AU that continues to be updated to this day over on Wattpad under 'OHRamsey'!
I used to have a Tumblr account but deactivated it maybe around 2022 but I have come back to try and engage with more of the community as I have seen recently the Open Heart fandom has diminished a bit. I'm also active on instagram under OhmyRamsey if you'd like some bonus content :)
While 4 books of my fanfictions (around 45 chapters long each!) is a bit much to share on here, I will share a 'one shot' story for you guys to check out to see if you might be interested in more. I can also tell you some more about my AU if you like!
