I Hate Social Media

The Big MarkE

[theoriginalmarke]

[theoriginalmarke]

MIX AND MATCH MONDAY MASHUP

I lost a whole pound this week. So exciting. I may celebrate and eat a pint of chocolate chip ice cream.

I chatted online with a niece this weekend. That is more exciting than a triple scoop cone of McConnell's Chocolate Covered Strawberry.

I've never been an uncle before; I'm not sure what that entails. Do I sneak them candy? Help them with their homework? Give them a drum set?

"Pull my finger."

Sure, you kids are probably laughing at that one, but all of my friends are screaming "NOOOO!" at the top of their lungs.

So far, I'm just enjoying learning about who they are and who their parents (my siblings) were. It warms my heart in ways I can't even describe.

One thing I've discovered is that both my birth family and my adoptive family are beautiful, and gorgeous blue eyes run in both families.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some ruminating to do.

I love you, baby. Even more than McConnell's Turkish Coffee Ice Cream Cone. MWAH!

Y'all have a great day.

[theoriginalmarke]

Someone just called my phone, sneezed, and hung up. I hate cold calls.

[theoriginalmarke]

[jolenedrinkswhiskey]

About right for these 4 🥰

[theoriginalmarke]

[theoriginalmarke]

[theoriginalmarke]

SUNDAY'S SUNNY SIDE UP SUMMATIONS

I did things yesterday. Mostly shopping, but it still counts. The shopping involved people, and the people got on my nerves.

City people can be rude, but Chicagoland people can be even ruder.

Little stuff, like blocking the aisles. Walking around, talking loudly into their Bluetooth phones. Stepping right in front of the item you're looking at. Kids treating the store as a playground. Yada yada yada.

I bought candles at Dollar Tree in Hot Tamales and Popsicle flavors. They also had Breyers Vanilla Fudge Twirl or Mint Chocolate Chip, Fudgesicle, Tootsie Roll, and Klondike. They'll be great under the candle lamp.

Her mom is on oxygen, so we can't have open flames. The candle lamp has been great, and the candles last forever. Aldi's Coffee Creme is my favorite scent so far.

Speaking of coffee, I've been making iced coffee with the pour-over gadgets lately. They are so freaking good. Maybe because I add a splash of amaretto. Cold foam creamer on top helps, too (BTW, Aldi's cold foam is cheapest by far).

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to get moving.

I love you, baby. Even if you are a city girl. MWAH!

Y'all have a great day.

[theoriginalmarke]

I've got two or three good Motown puns left in me. Four tops.

[theoriginalmarke]

[campandglamp]

[theoriginalmarke]

[theoriginalmarke]

SADDLED WITH SALTY SATURDAY SALUTATIONS

If I had some witty opening line, this is where I'd put it. I don't, so the previous sentence will have to do for now.

If anything interesting had happened yesterday, I would insert it here. Nothing out of the ordinary occurred, so I won't bore you. I wrote, Kitten went to a meeting, and her mom slept a lot. Woohoo.

If I had any worthwhile opinions on secondary subjects, I would add them here. Opinions are like buttholes, though. Everybody's got one. You may think your butthole is better than everyone else's, but that doesn't mean anyone wants it shoved in their face. Right?

So, I'm not going to shove my butthole opinions on you today. My thoughts on Da Bears, Hollywood, and DC will remain unspoken. If I feel a need to vent about them, I'll put them in my next book.

Of course, that could change. Tomorrow I could be waving my butt in your face and demanding that you admire it. I spend all day hanging out with cats, and that's what they do to me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got nothing to say, and I've finished saying it.

I love you, baby. We'll discuss my opinion on your derriere later. RAWR!

Y'all have a great weekend.

[theoriginalmarke]

The very first human who used sarcasm must have really had a hard time explaining that he was being sarcastic.

[theoriginalmarke]

[goodgrits2]

[theoriginalmarke]