equal rights for women will never truly be achieved until we have more female noir detectives
and i donāt mean some badass woman who doesnāt need a man and can kill someone in 6 inch heels without breaking a sweat or smudging her perfectly set makeup or chipping a nail. she looks like she grew up in a soggy cardboard box on the side of the road all alone. she monologues dramatically to herself while looking over the corruption-riddled city she works in because she has no friends or hobbies and will literally do anything except go to therapy. she gets beat up in alleyways so blood and rain drip sexily from her nose and chin but when she gets to her feet she looks like a sad wet cat. women want her but they also pity her. instead of perfume she smells of coffee, whiskey and cigarettes, which are also more or less all she lives off of. her voice is more gravelly than aĀ pit of rocks as a result of said diet. she hasnāt slept or showered in at least 3 days and itās increasingly obvious. sheās either divorced or feels like she should be.
yeah okay gimme a sec
ok first off some of yall missed the entire point and gave gorgeous, put-together women, when op explicitly stated that she is āa sad wet catā this is the type-a woman who Does Not have her shit together and Does Not care.
therefore, i give you: Female Noir Detective
this ladyās so much of a mess sheās smoking the damn cig backwards
I read āuntil we have more female black noir detectivesā and I was like YEAH!!! and then was surprised to see a white woman fdsjkhfjkds
The point 100% stands as is but also woc as noir detectives is a GOAL
ANYWAY I drew a female noir detective of my own <3
She doesnāt have a name so feel free to suggest!! and make up anything about her cos I think i crashed my brain drawing this lmao
Constructive crit welcome!!
Constructive crit welcome!!
p.s. would be neat if this got similar attention
#holding out for the female noir cinematic universe
This.
(also an id because i forgot when i posted oops)
[ID: In @/acarillustratedās post, a detailed set of digital illustrations of a white woman with dull brown hair in a messy bun, grey trousers, and a black top with thin shoulder straps. She also wears a faded light brown long coat and brown shoes and one pink, one orange socks. The art style has emphasis on the clothing folds and shades with numerous thin lines. I love it.
There are five drawings in this image; on the left is a full body view of the woman, holding a bottle of alcohol near her face and with her other hand behind her hip. At the top of the image is a drawing of just her hand, half-flexed, with a gold-ish wedding and engagement ring, visible blue blood vessels on the top of the hand and slightly dirty-looking fingertips. To the right of this taking up about half the height of the image, is an illustration of her from the knees up, with one arm around her ribs and the other raised to her bruised and beaten up face; this arm has blood in a streak across it. Her expression here is rather dangerous. To the right of this is a bust shot without the coat, which shows her grim expression and eye bags up close. Then at the bottom of the image is a drawing of her from the ribs up, leaning as if on a table, chin on her wrist and smoking a cigarette the wrong way round.
There are numerous comments written around these drawings, and I can make out most of it but may make mistakes transcribing.
Top left: āDetective Elizabeth Webster
age 37
recently divorced
two kids
entitled Messā
Beside the hand drawing, āboney, veiny handsā¦ā
Between the full body drawing and the knee up drawing, ā[a word which looks like pymalion] suddenly makes so much more sense to meā
Pointing to the waist of the full body: āa lilā bit of tummy. just for me <3ā
At the full bodyās feet, āAll the liquor, cigs and violence are fine but⦠mismatched socks? that where i draw a lineā
Between the full bodyās feet and the cigar smoking drawing, āsmoking is bad⦠but holy hell is it Hot really shouldnāt be this sexy. But it is!ā
On the right of the cigar smoking drawing, āChannelling Carrie Fisher in this woman. I miss Carrie Fisher.ā
And at the very bottom, a heart followed by āthefinalsoftboy: IG, Twt, TikTok, Tumblrā.
Then in @/corvidissās post, two roughly identical images, the second with slightly higher contrast than the first. They are monochrome, not quite black and white with a slight sepia tint. They depict a black woman illustrated digitally in a rendered but slightly textured style. Sheās wearing a headscarf with one of the ends not tucked in and hanging over her forehead, a thick coat with lapels, and some kind of scarf beneath that. Her expression is stern and intense with her brows drawn down and her eyes glinting, and she is smoking a cigar. Her hair is type 4b or 4c and isnāt entirely obeying the headscarf. She has her right hand held by her chin, and the left is tucked into the right armās elbow. The background is simple, a few broad streaks of shading. ācorvidissā is written along the line of one of her shoulders, and a more refined watermark rests in the bottom left corner. End ID.]
(Gonna add this addition from @mist-the-wannabe-linguist with @krakaheimrās tags here because I feel bad about forgetting the ID on the og reblog lol)
[ID: Screenshot of a reblog from @/mist-the-wannabe-linguist. There is a screenshot of tags which read, ā#oh my goodness i love these #i am desperate to see more of these two #i love both of these #WAIT # imagine these two as partners in the police force or running their own PI agencyā. Below that Mist added āPartners only in the police force? [thinking emoji]ā. End ID.]
I AM. HAVING THOUGHTS NOW.
obviously to keep in genre their relationship, whatever its form, would have to be super messy.
They run a PI but itās a fucking mess. They have the shittiest office which is like a half-sunk room on the grottiest street in the whole city and share permanent residence with mould. They fight over filing systems. They sleep in the dingy rooms and/or attic above this āofficeā because walking about in this neighbourhood to commute is like strolling about with a āstab meā sign on your back, and paying for transport is just totally uneconomical given the amount they make from their work.
They either have to share a room to sleep and have set up a moth-eaten curtain between them or live in two cramped rooms with a wall between them that barely classifies as a wall, and would more accurately fit into the category of cardboard. They squabble over being able to hear one another through whichever divider they have, and fight over the single tiny kitchenette. Maybe the kitchenette is in one of their spaces and the one who sleeps in that one a) gets to use it whenever they like but b) has to fight off the other when trying to get some privacy. Coffee is a strong motivator.
Some nights they spend the entire dark hours in massive rows about anything from which coats are coolest to whether they should dissolve the PI agency. (Neighbours complain for a few months and then just move away.) They blame each other for when things go wrong in investigations, and occasionally get into physical fights themselves.
But⦠theyāre also the people they can most rely on in the whole world. Theyāve lost family, been betrayed by friends, been beaten down to the scum at the very bottom of the earth by the society that lords over them and the people that inhabit it. Theyāve been dragged through shit and lost all hope for the world, but deep down⦠they still care. They do their job because theyāre good at it, and because it makes them feel useful, but also because they hate the system of society that hurts people how it does and want to help others who are ruined and tortured in its grasp. They share this long buried love for their fellow betrodden human, and despite their many conflicts, they are very similar people.
They hate the world. But they love each other, in a broken, gnarly way that represents how they feel about the human race as a whole.
So they tend one anotherās wounds, they embrace one another after particularly troubling cases, they talk deep into the night and back out into the grisly day in low, exhausted voices. They bring each other drinks of coffee or liquor without word or request when they can tell the other needs it. They have each otherās backs.
And BOY do they make a good team.
When people come to them with cases, having been told that these two women are the people to go to, they are often dubious upon first sight. The general decor of the consulting office is not so much terrible as it is reminiscent of Heironymus Boschās depictions of hell. The women behind the desk more closely resemble the criminals they apprehend than the people they serve. Their expressions are set almost eternally in sour glares and their words are naked expressions of their thoughts. Some clients walk in and then walk right out.
But this is that kind of city, and they set shop in the most concentrated area of this vibe. Most of the people they serve are used to these conditions, and able to see through the rough exterior to the talent beneath. And those who do are often greatly rewarded; the competence and integrity of the police in this city has been on the decline for decades, so these womenās 73% success rate is favourable to those who seek them out. The criminals are tough, weathered, like much of the population ā but these women have the tenacity of spiders. And the self-care priorities of mayflies. They do whatever is needed, to the benefit of their clients and the detriment of their health.
They get shit done, and they suffer through it. They have a rocky relationship, but one thatās been going for many years, and the only one they can truly rely on.
Who knows, maybe one day theyāll be able to afford therapy. And maybe, even less likely, theyāll be willing to try.
~
TL;DR: They live together above the shitty half-sunk tiny office they use for consulting and they get into arguments a shit tonne but also care about each other and are there for one another.
Also theyāre (comparatively) damn good at their job, despite appearances.
~
Anyway uhh that was a ramble longer than expected but IDEAS!! Please throw more into the mix!! Ideas that complement or directly contradict or elaborate on anything thatās already here!!!
And also anyone who can think of a name for my detective cos I got nothin lmao
OH MY GOD THERES PLOT???? GIVE ME LIKE AN HOUR
@corvidiss no more girlbosses. check out my fail wife and her swagless detective partner
writing in picture bc my handwriting is pretty but. illegible:
first image, left to right; āalso iāve come to submit possible names for her. tag me in the replies so that i get a notif. iām ranking them based on how much i like them. 1. Emery, 2. Yvon, 3. Charlene, 4. Joanna, 5. Milan (Millie).ā āpov youāve come to the cheapest private investigators you could find.ā āsheād look less like she got punched in the face if she was actually punched in the faceā āpen broke in her pocketā
second image, left to right; āhomoerotic wound-tending for the people.ā āso what youāre saying is the night after you write out youāre entire will to your cats, all four of them went missing? the butler did it. get your own damn case! this is literally the plot of the aristocats.ā āpov u and ur shit partner fall asleep on the jobā
[ID: A set of digital sketches. The first is a knee-up illustration of Elizabeth Webster from before on the right, and my (corvidissās) detective ā Emery ā from before on the left, in colour. Elizabethās shirt is partially untucked and thereās a blue stain on the breast pocket. She has one hand in her beige coatās pocket and the other is at her side holding a cigarette. The other detective is wearing a shirt, black tie, and dark grey long coat. She is smoking a cigar and carrying a brown briefcase. They are looking at one another with somewhat furrowed brows.
The next image has a set of uncoloured line drawings in blue ink. On the left is Emery sitting on a low spinny desk chair, leaning back with her elbows on the backrest. Elizabeth is kneeling next to her, partially obscured by Emeryās knees, tending to a bandage around Emeryās stomach. āHomoerotic wound tending for the peopleā is next to this. On the right at the top, Emery is sitting behind a desk and leaning back, her left elbow resting on the desk and a cigar in that hand. A speech bubble shows her saying āSo what youāre saying is the night after you write out your entire will to your cats, all four of them went missing?ā Pulling back the curtain behind Emery to peer round is Elizabeth, who says, āIt was the butler.ā Emery then says, āGet your own damn case!ā to which Elizabeth responds, āThis is literally the plot of the Aristocats.ā The bottom of the image has Emery and Elizabeth sat on the floor, leaning against one another with Elizabethās head on Emeryās shoulder. This one has the āpov you and ur shit partner fall asleep on the jobā text above it. End ID.]
ā
OMG,,,, I LOVE THEM!!!!!! Your art my absolute beloved it is SO texture OMG
EMERY IS AN AWESOME NAME IāLL TAKE IT!!!!! Also I thought Nicholson as a surname? Emery Nicholson Vibes. (Feel like her middle name would have some links to wherever her family line(s) is/are from (tho sheād be several generations removed from that having lived in this grungy shit ass city her whole life), but idk where that would be and wouldnāt have the cultural context to decide on a name so thatāll have to stay Concept⢠for now lol.)
Iāve been thinking about these two a Lot since you posted this and also thought of Emery helping take care of Lizās kids and just rotating that concept in my brain a whole bunch. Emery is a disaster and does not know how to children but she sure as shit is gonna try and is fiercely protective of them (but also like, lets them play with lighters and knives under supervision and stuff, cos Life Experience and all that).
Man if I had remotely any sufficient understanding of the genre and context Iād try to write this but I really donāt lmao
(ALSO I am so sorry for not tagging you, i forgot how tumblr works rip. speaking of, @phoenixian-cluster-amaryllis, @tartrazeen, @casual-owl, @mist-the-wannabe-linguist, y'all showed interest in the past and i think you lot might like this awesome addition!! i feel like there were others too but i forget⦠(apologies if the tag annoys you). also gonna tag you @acarillustrated in case tumblr hides this reblog from you or smth fdsjkfds)
I am SCREAMING
SHE FACE???
[ID: A close up of one of the wound dressing sketch from above of Lizās face; her face is angled down a little towards Emeryās stomach, but her eyes are looking upward at Emeryās face. I am unfortunately not expressionally fluent enough to describe what this look is, but it sure is a Lookā¢. End ID.]
I must recount a short conversation that took place from this reaction, because Yes (not screenshots because IDing that would be a Mess):
Mist: SHE FACE?? THAT LOOK???? Corvid: OMG YOUāRE RIGHT *messes up wound dressing cos keeps looking at her face not her stomach* personally i feel like theyāre too messy to ever actually Do Shit about the fairly prevalent gay; more important shit to do like scrape up money and Not Die and intimacy???? open affection???????? no sir we do not do that here Mist: Toxic workplace noir masculinity but make it woman Corvid: literally i have a comic in my mind tho which is like, emery sitting in a bar brooding over a case* and liz comes in and finds her and sits next to her and emery like. looks away and leans against lizās shoulder and liz veeeeeery carefully puts her head against emeryās and they just like sit there. and this is the maximum affectionate intimacy they get for most of the time fdhsjhfkdjs Mist: The audience treats this moment the same way they treat The First Kiss-kinda scenes in other shows As in Everyone loses their entire shit Corvid: YES YES EXACTLY YOU GET IT the level of intimacy is Low and this is like Big Mist: They literally just slightly bonk heads and the audience is full on screaming
(* Thank you @phoenixian-cluster-amaryllis for that wonderful idea)
By GODS I want this to be A Thing and have an audience now fdsjkhfjdshfjk I am rotating them in my head around the clock (and actually generating very few ideas but shh)
ALSO IāM STILL NOT OVER HOW GOOD THE ART IS IāM,,,, THE LINEWORK! THE EXPRESSION!!! IāM LOVE!!!
Tag list:Ā @casual-owl @acarillustrated @tartrazeen @phoenixian-cluster-amaryllis @mist-the-wannabe-linguist
Thereās MORE i donāt log into tumblr for 84 years and THEREāS SUDDENLY MORE and it is EVEN MORE PERFECT THAN BEFORE because NOW THERE ARE TWO OF THEM and there is PLOT and LORE!!!!!!!!!!! anyway i canāt draw but i must put my oar in so
*
[The gorgeous Fede Ramirez has just departed the offices of Nicholson & Webster and Liz has clearly fallen for his story of smoke and lies and has decided she must Save Him because every time thereās a homme/femme fatale Liz falls for their trickery and bullshit and almost gets them both killed (itās a big midseason twist when itās Emery who gets taken for a ride by a femme fatale); Emery has watched the entire interaction by peeking in from her side of the curtain]
āYou are old enough to be that boyās mother.ā
āIām not that old. Heās not that young.ā Liz toyed with a one of the strands that had escaped her bun, twining it clockwise and counterclockwise around an index finger. āMaybe when the case is over I couldā¦I donāt know, do something with my hairā¦ā
āWhen was the last time you washed your hair?ā
āWhen I got up,ā Liz said smugly.
āThat was three days ago.ā A skullās grin formed around Emeryās cigar. āDo you know how I remember that, Liz?ā
Liz spared herself from answering by lighting a cigarette.
āBecause it was two in the goddamn morning, Elizabeth. You goddamn know that goddamn shower squeals and you goddamn went right goddamn full speed ahead and goddamn turned it on at goddamn two in the goddamn fucking morning.ā
[actually she was awake & truthfully turning on the shrieking shower would have been more offensive during a 9 AM hangover over a 2AM cause-the-hangover sesh, but itās the principle of the thing]
*
[some poor workman is stenciling the agencyās name on the door a la The Maltese Falcon]
āWhy are you having him put Webster & Nicholson up there? N comes before W! Even you know that.ā
āI was here first,ā Liz protested.
āAnd you would have gotten evicted if I hadnāt come along and saved you by jumping on the lease.ā
āYeah, also by moving into my kitchen. Anyway!ā Liz waved her hands around, surrounding them all in cigarette smoke. āDesign. Aesthetics. Webster over Nicholson looks tidier than Nicholson over Webster.ā
āYou value tidiness?ā Emeryās voice was suddenly a purr.
The cigarette went back in Lizās mouth. āThis feels like a trick question?ā
āIt is. Because do you know where I found your socks not twelve minutes ago?ā
āYou want me to find something out, you know my rates are fifty an hour plus expenses.ā
āIāll tell you for free! They were in the sink! The kitchen sink! Alongside your dirty dishes and my favorite mug!ā
She only had the one mug.
āYeah, well,ā Liz said, shrugging, āyou made ramen in my coffee pot.ā
āOur coffee pot and it was eight months ago!ā
[obviously Emery gets her way and itās Nicholson & Webster for the duration]
*
[the two are walking down a dark and rainy street, liz following emery, and this comes at the culmination of a long argument which has descended into increasingly elaborate insulting comparisons to animals]
āDuck!ā Liz screamed.
Emery wheeled around. āThat doesnāt even make sāā
Liz tackled her, knocking the cigar out of her mouth and the air out of her lungs. āWhat the actualāā
Automatic gunfire sprayed into the wall theyād just been standing in front of, and a car squealed off.
For a moment they stared into each otherās faces, then Liz rolled off Emery and pushed herself to her feet. āCome on, they might double back.ā
Emery went over to the gutter and picked up her cigar. She brandished it at Liz. āYou ruined it. A brand new Romeo y Julieta, barely a fifth gone, and you ruined it.ā
āIāll buy you another one. We have to go.ā
āThis cost more than you make in a week.ā
āBy that token it costs more than you make in a week,ā Liz said.
āThe court doesnāt garnish my paycheck for child support.ā
āWhat the fuck? I just saved your life!ā
āDid you? Did you really? Or did you just ruin my shirt and my cigar?! Maybe they were aiming at you!ā
āYou were next to me!ā
āWait. Shut up and listen.ā
They listened. There was definitely a car and it was definitely coming their way.
āQuick,ā Emery said, ādown here.ā
They ran down the length of the alley, only to find a brick wall and a pair of dumpsters.
Liz threw up her hands. āItās a dead end, genius. Weāre going to die. I saved your life and you were mean to me and now weāre going to die and the last thing Iāll have heard is some ungrateful jerk being mean to me.ā
Emery threw open the lid of the closer dumpster.
āEmery, no.ā
āYou have a better idea? You absolutely do not.ā Emery grabbed Lizās collar and yanked her forward. āGet your scrawny ass inside.ā
[1) they both noticed how wide the otherās pupils were during That Moment, and it was obviously fear & adrenaline & definitely nothing else; 2) there is absolutely a nest of feral kittens inside that dumpster & one of them is allergic to cats]
*
i love these two so much i will fall to my death
cribbing the tag list @acarillustrated @phoenixian-cluster-amaryllis @tartrazeen @mist-the-wannabe-linguist @casual-owl @corvidiss apologies for the impertinence
@therealtsk too because this is all youāll get from me for the foreseeable future and @cpericardium as an additional reminder to love and support me
ok so im testing out photoshop anyway so,,,,,,. female noir detectives sketches based on the writing about because! im! AH!
i did want to add my little backstory ive been thinking of for dear elizabeth webster because i just realized that ive didnt put it along with the original post? and itās canon to me so i kind of have to share at this point.
so basically Liz Webster was not always the disaster we know her to be. we know she was married, yes, but she was married for 11 years before the divorce, and itās entirely her fault. before becoming a private investigator, she worked with the police as a government detective. and she had always been the one with an uncanny ability to solve puzzles in rapid time; seeing patterns invisible to most. sheās a detail-oriented person, but her intuition is complete shit. sheās always been too impulsive, indulgent. but she had this incredible talent, so she was able to coast through life without adjusting her flaws. and in her effort to enhance her skills, she became desperate for praise, desperate for attention. so when she was paired up with a rookie who knew of her and made no effort to conceal his admiration for her? she soaked it up like she needed it to live. but she was too confident. she let herself indulge too much. and she began a mindless affair with him. she felt guilty, sure, betraying her family and the life she had built, but she couldnāt find it in herself to stop. they got caught, of course, and she had to be removed from her position for abusing her power. following that, her husband divorced her and took the kids, who have no idea why their previously happy parents are suddenly separating. she basically lives from couch to couch for a while, a little traveling pity-party, until she remembers that solving crimes are literally the only thing she lives for. soon after she meets Emery Nicholson, and they bond over both being miserable and without purpose after being removed from the force.
also i dont know why (itās probably who framed rodger rabbitās fault) but im picturing this all being set in the 90s?? honestly i flip flop between the 90s and the 20s
copypasting the tag list bc i assume u want to see more @xbritomartx @acarillustrated @phoenixian-cluster-amaryllis @tartrazeen @mist-the-wannabe-linguist @casual-owl @corvidiss
by GOD it hath been too long, I blame anxiety and the bees in my brain
but EEEEEEEE THEREāS MORE!!!!
[ID: A set of digital sketches in dark red āinkā. At the top is Emery on the left, sitting on a desk chair and leaning back, facing towards the left. ā*aggressive eyeroll*ā is written by her face, which accurately describes her expression. Behind her, down the centre of the image, is a curtain, and on the right of that is Liz sitting at her desk, leaning forwards with her chin on her wrists and a smitten expression on her face. Three little hearts float above her. On the other side of her desk is Fede, a tall, slim, curly-haired man with his jacket over his shoulders. Heās looking flirtatiously down at Liz. Notes to the left of Emery read,
ālove that we also decided that Emery is no nonsense. and tired of this shit. like their both disasters but Emery is an earthquake where Liz is a tornado.ā
Text to the right of Fede reads,
āFede! im glad we remember that the homme fatale exists because i love slutty men. i am also glad that we picked up on Liz being a sucker for flattery.
im going to type out why she was kicked off the force. bc she was a detective for the government. she is no longer one.ā
Below this, towards the left of the image, is a sketch of Liz and Emery side by side; Liz is on the left, with a cigarette in her mouth. Sheās wearing a turtleneck jumper and her hair is characteristically messy with strands flopped over her face. Sheās looking at Emery with a suspicious/quizzical expression. Emery is looking back with a smirk. Above them are speech bubbles as follows:
Emery: You value tidiness? Liz: this feels like a trick question Emery: it is
Then at the bottom right of the image is an illustration of Emery lying on her back on the floor, her arms up beside her head, her cigar tossed across the ground behind her. Sheās looking up, with an expression of mild alarm, not entirely free of gay panic, at Liz, who is lying, as if just fallen there, on Emeryās stomach, propped up with her hands on the ground each side of Emeryās torso, her face obscured by her hair. Above this sketch is written,
āoh no. the detectives have fallen in a position that only increases preexisting sexual tension!ā
Then thereās another image with only one sketch, which depicts Liz on the left facing left, doing something with her hands and looking over her shoulder with a smile towards two boys behind her. Further back is a boy labelled āBrooke - 14y/oā with long hair and a baseball cap on backwards, leaning on a surface and looking at a phone. Further forwards is a boy labelled āMaron - 9y/oā who has short hair and is leaning towards Liz with his hands on the surface and smiling up at her.
End ID.]
-
YOUR ART!!! YOUR FLIPPIN ART!!!!! AND THEREāS BACKSTORY?? ššš THE LORE GROWS!!!
i have not abandoned our gals iām just suffering from a case of ācares too much and then psychs self out of thinking about it for fear of Thinking About It Wrongā BUT i DO have a very WIP comic based on the last of @xbritomartxās snippets because i had Strong Visuals come to mind and then failed to produce anything remotely quickly so Iāll probably post that completely unfinished at some point, maybe, weāll see
(also i have more stuff for the gals but I will not drag out this terribly long post any further for fear it stretch and snap like a rubber band)
P.S 90s sounds good! 20s also probably good but I know much less about that fjdsk
tag list: @acarillustrated@phoenixian-cluster-amaryllis@tartrazeen@mist-the-wannabe-linguist@casual-owl
















