uurugh ,. kjhhg...... my stupid bisexual beast of folklore....
there's so much. I've been thinking about them nonstop since yesterday and I already have enough gull lore to fill a bestiary or three. UUMMM.
STUPID HABITS THEY HAVE THAT I FIND VERY SWEET
will raid the fridge and eat all the ingredients of a meal separately. craving a fish pie? they'll eat the pastry. and then the fish (raw). and then half a bottle of sauce.
WILL eat birds. they're like if an outdoor cat was an entire person. they've been scolded enough times to know which birds aren't okay to snack on though (this story is set in aotearoa!!!)
VERY DRAMATIC. SO DRAMATIC. will wail and flop all over you. will proclaim that they are DYING! DYING!!! due to a minor headache.
uses their hind claws to hold things. imagine gull on a hot summer day slouching ridiculously with an ice cream in all four claws. hind paws are just as dexterous as front paws! like a monkey!
because their eyes are on the sides of their head, they do that thing birds do where they'll look at you from the side instead of straight on. they find humans very alarming for this reason.
WILL change size to be small and climb inside your jumper if they're cold. imagine freezing cold god paws on your stomach. nasty!!!! nasty behaviour!!!!!
big fan of people watching. will crouch on roofs like an idiot gargoyle and peer at you. they're very discreet about it most times and will embarrass you later by mentioning something you did thinking no one was watching. (gullteeth voice) is your butt less itchy now that you've scratched it
HUGE FAN OF JOKES. finds ANYTHING funny. will scream laugh and writhe on the ground until they can't breathe at the worst dad jokes ever
they love to sing!!!!!!!! they want everyone to hear their beautiful singing!!! why do people keep throwing shoes at them!!!!
they can use their horn as a bottle opener
they wear clothes and accessories on occasion!!! t-shirt with a stupid slogan on it. like "EATING FOR TWO ❤️" (they are not pregnant)
when they fly they zigzag and spiral through the air a little crazily. somewhere between a seagull and a kite (not the bird kind) and chinese dragon dancing (with like 10+ performers piloting one dragon puppet)
they have no preferred size!! some days they'll snooze in a teacup, some days they'll rocket across the sea like a low flying plane, some days they'll use an entire valley as a nest bed. when living with their human partners though, they range from 4ft to 7ft (when bipedal) depending on the day
they are very very very very cute despite how majestic or imposing they try to be. they clack their teeth together when they're happy
I remember an interview with a guy that did the camera work for nature documentaries and he said that baleen whales like these guys were the scariest things to shoot because “They’re the size of a train, they can suddenly appear out of nowhere in dark or murky water and they don’t make a goddamn sound. I was absolutely sure that one of them was going to hit me and well, ‘that’s all folks!’. Gave me a lot of perspective on how I handle myself when filming smaller animals now.”
these three!! they're keeping me sane during finals....
tobias and ngaire live together in a small coastal town in aotearoa. gullteeth is a god who crashed into their lives a little bit. tobias and ngaire are gay best friends and they're both in love with gullteeth. peace and love
I like them a lot. they produce up to half of all earth's oxygen. the air you breathe is thanks to sun-eating stars made of glass. and that's pretty cool.
sometimes someone I follow falls victim to severe Character delirium to the point where they stop even saying the character's name and just refer to them by an epithet like some kind of malevolent entity whom they don't wish to accidentally summon, so if the sickness sets in quickly enough and I don't pay close attention for a week I'm just Never going to figure Who this bastard haunting my friend Actually Is. and I'll spend months scrolling my dash occasionally seeing appeals to "that fucking horse" or "my evil grub."
…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.
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