As working parents, we sometimes go through the week full of stress. By the time Friday comes around, the hubby and I are texting each other #TGIF, wine memes, and crazy GIFs of people dancing at work. It’s on these days that we get to celebrate being together and having a little down time. Can I get an Amen?! Surely we are not the only ones that do this right?
As we drove the girls to their ballet classes last week, I lost it on my teenager. I immediately felt bad because generally speaking, I don’t yell at my kids. I choose to speak to them about how I feel and let them have a chance to have their own opinions and voice their concerns.
The real reason I lost it was because: one- I had a headache and two- I was exhausted and couldn’t handle any more of the admin duties my family expected me to handle. You guys already know I work full time, have a part-time side business, and attend online classes. Top that off with full time administrative assistant, personal chef, uber driver, tutor, and personal shopper to Daddy Reyes, Teenage Daughter, The Little Middle and Bud (FYI I’ve called Sebastian “Bud” all his life, This Is Us just happened to steal it from me). The questions just kept coming and coming until I finally just took out my phone, looked up an email, and just said “read the email”. This was my way of saying I’m tired and you can find what you need here on this email. My teenager read the email and continued to ask me questions.
Mom: I don’t know. If there is anything else that you need to know you can ask your teachers when we get there.
Teenager: They said we needed pictures and we need to register to audition.
Mom: Where did you hear this? Who told you this? I only know what I read in the email.
Teenager: So do I need to do that?
Mom: I don’t know! Didn’t you just read the same email I read? I only know what was in the email. It stated nothing about pictures! I can’t tell you what I don’t know but if you KNOW what you need to do, why are you asking me? I just don’t understand. Your teachers are there for you. You can ask questions when you are not sure of things. You have a mouth and you can speak! Therefore, you can ask. You need to learn how to be resourceful Adry. I’m not always going to be here doing all these things for you. What will happen when you go away to college? What will happen when I’m not around?
I admit I blew up on her. I will always be here for my kids as long as God allows me to. I just meant that I will not always be present in the moments when she will have questions. I will not always be the buffer to her shyness. There was so much silence in the car. Even my husband didn’t say a word. I thought, “Good, he’s on my side”.
We pulled up to the school and rather than apologize (I am her mother above all), I simply explained that I was exhausted and that we needed to be mindful of each other. I do so much for my family. I sometimes feel like that gets lost (when this happens, I quickly remind them). I am allowed to be tired. I am not ashamed of that. We are given a pass sometimes. We are not perfect as mothers, we are human too.
We made our peace and I also explained to her that at some point in her life, figuring things out will be her responsibility. I am simply trying to teach her that now. It will give me peace of mind in the long run. I offered to go into the school with her to figure things out together. Our questions were answered and we both learned a lesson. All I know is, tough love is good love when given for the right reasons.
Tough Love is Good Love…Right? As working parents, we sometimes go through the week full of stress. By the time Friday comes around, the hubby and I are texting each other #TGIF, wine memes, and crazy GIFs of people dancing at work.