Neutrally Undeclared @thescarymonstersundermybed - Tumblr Blog

yossiacar

i can’t believe we will never in our lives see a nipple again

smilingredhead-deactivated20220

Users: fix the porn bot problem

Tumblr staff: Ok! No more NSFW 🙃

Users:

celinedijonmustard-deactivated2

@staff

irish-luthor

tumblr nsfw ban is gonna bring back cubism

hearticho

#can’t flag the nipple if u can’t figure out where it is (via @irish-luthor)

malepresentingnips

this milktank is female-presenting

mcavoy

dare i say…..savage?

daisytargaryen

Me @ Tumblr

cartooncoyote

This is actually the best intro to a porno that has ever existed

man-made-god-deactivated2023022

those damn lemon stealing whores

thescarymonstersundermybed

HEY WHAT THE FUCK

orlandobloomers

imagine life but not bad

fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva

unrealistic. blocked

loafed-beans-deactivated2020082

fedkaczynski

What’s funny is that this actually happened.

allamericankindofguy-actual

I’m unfamiliar with this story please elaborate

fedkaczynski

Finnish soldier gets separated from the rest of his unit but he’s the only one carrying the emergency amphetamines for the unit, takes too many and goes on a one man rampage for like 2 weeks straight giving the opposing Soviet soldiers nightmares for decades. Oh and he did it all on skis.

ethereal-insight-deactivated201

Did he survive?

loafed-beans-deactivated2020082

Yes, during his methed up 2-3 week rampage he got injured by a land mine, travelled 400km on skis, and only ate pine buds and a Siberian Jay that he caught which he ate raw. When he made it back to Finnish lines he was taken to a hospital where it was found his heart rate was nearly 200 beats per minute and his weight had dropped to 43kg (94.7lbs).

corsolanite

Pikachu in 1998: “Hey look everyone i’m flying! Weeeeeee!” 🎈🎈

Pikachu in 2018: “time to fuck you up with the help of my balloons! Floaty Fall to the ground bitch!” ⚡ 🎈🤜

animalwoonz

darning-socks

you learn to take the little victories

ilarual-archive

I always got very excited when it would spell out ACDC

badassthugmc

OMG SAME FOR BOTH

liquid-pie

I always got very afraid when it was the same letter 4 times in a row

neuralactivity

when I was 4 or 5, my mom was a prof at a college and she used to hand me the scantron sheet before she wrote the exam and let me colour whatever lettered bubble i wanted for each answer. if i coloured two by accident, she made an ‘all of the above’ option. one time she gave me it and i coloured the ‘a’ bubble for each of the 130 questions except for the second last one and she just went with it later on, she told me that it was the most entertaining exam she had ever watched her students take

cynntastic

funfactcomics

kyleehenke

how did my ancestors survive the brutal unforgiving wilderness when I get anxiety sweats from going to Target

amporazz

to be fair im sure your ancestors would have the exact same reaction going to a Target

iesika

In the brutal unforgiving wilderness false positives cost nothing and false negatives are expensive. You’re better off being afraid of something that can’t hurt you than not afraid of something that can hurt you.

In a world where we mostly aren’t in danger, day to day, as long as we don’t play in traffic or jump off something, that’s no longer quite as adaptive.

We got our anxiety from a long, unbroken line of ancestors who were scared enough to survive, and pass on those genes!

It helps me sometimes to think about that at night, when I can’t sleep because my heart is pounding over something like “what if my usually reliable alarm clock doesn’t work in the morning for some reason and I’m late for work and lose my job and everyone hates me.” There’s nothing wrong with me, I just have a lot of extra, unused run-from-tigers juice that my grandparents left me.