Hero of Athens

[Independent RP / Ask Blog for Theseus of Hades]

[thesiium]

Theseus be like the that woman from the Grinch.

“Did I have a crush on that HEATHEN? Hahaha, of course not!”

“... we didn’t ask--”

“Oh. Well, now you know.”

[thesiium]

follys-dance​:

Good gods. This situation had taken a very odd turn.

The fire in her eyes was quickly put out. The dead king would get a blank stare, as if she’d suddenly seen him spawn three heads. She was struggling to process what he’d just asked her. She’d only known him to be either battle-thirsty, grumpy or proud. Not…. well…. caring?

Hmmm. It was better than suspicion. And sure as Hades better than his grumpiness. Come to think of it, what did she want at the moment?…

With a pouty look, she turned her stare away and crossed her arms. “A gyro would be nice,” she mumbled.

It would seem they were at an impasse for a few moments, both staring at one another awkwardly, waiting as if somehow the silence would solve the issue at hand. Of course, it was she who spoke first.

Gyro. A gyro? What... well, no wait, yes food. He’d had an experience with this before, had heard that women would occasionally desire certain foods... or was that for something else? Gah! Women were so confusing during these times! Bodily instability was so concerning, one would think in death they’d be free of it.

“Oh, well.. I know someone I can retrieve them from, I suppose. Or rather, gifted. Eating is unnecessary, but it’s nice, every now and then. Can you walk? Or perhaps you’d like me to carry you? Or, if you’ll take a seat I shall retrieve it for you?”  What did she want? What was he to do? Gods, why must he have infinite approximate knowledge of seashells but not women?

[thesiium]

ANON, IM SRY MY ASKBOX WON’T LET ME ANSWER YOUR ASK, IF YOU HAVE A SPECIFIC TAG YOU WANT ME TO PUT PLEASE LET ME KNOW

[thesiium]

follys-dance​:

Lavender eyes shot up at him like darts. As if this man child knew how to treat women in the first place, but she wouldn’t go there…

For a second, the thought of kicking his arse was tempting. she contemplated how much she could get away with in a fight without blowing her cover as a Discordian… She hadn’t fought in forever, but even basic things could make her a dangerous foe… She was animalistically fast, as were some nymphs. Maybe she could utilize that.

“Bold words to say to a woman on her period.”

Oh, shit… Did shades even get periods??

Brows furrow. What was going on? He felt so confused. Lips purse in thought.

P..period? Did female shades still have those? His eyes dart around for a moment. He’s never really, had to deal with such things, never had any real experience with them.  The confusion is visible on his face, the gears could be heard, turning rapidly in his mind. 

“I’m a bold man, but not an uncaring one. While your... days.... ail you..is there anything you need of me?”

[valtsv]

my esteemed rival,

[valtsv]

my beloved nemesis,

[valtsv]

dearly detested,

[thesiium]

follys-dance​:

She puffed out some air and rolled her eyes. “Is that supposed to be a threat?” What was he going to do? Spear her? Talk her to death, maybe?

“No? Did you, perhaps want me to threaten you? I don’t particularly enjoy treating women like that, but if that’s what you desire of me..”

[thesiium]

follys-dance

“Watch out for his sarcasm my king. It’s very deadly...” She, herself, isn’t being sarcastic in the slightest.

“The only deadly things here, my dear, are you and I (and Asterius but he’s napping, poor friend he’s so tired)!”

[thesiium]

“SILENCE, YOU SNAKE, NO ONE SPEAKS TO YOU!!”

[thesiium]

“I’ve been busy as of late, but no doubt you all missed me, so here I am!”

[thesiium]

“That blasted Daemon wishes to fight, I see--!!”

[thesiium]

wargodling

...he breasted boobily down the stairs...?

Indeed, he tittered along

[thesiium]

His boobs look great, by the way--!!

[thesiium]

@follys-dance

Chor scoffed. “They’re just asking tasteful questions about your relationships, not your greased-up boobs!” Sure, the questions might’ve been deemed personal for some, but they paled in comparison to the exploitations of gods and heroes by many a mortal poet looking for clout. Gods. If Theseus knew the rumors circling about him and Asterius, he would’ve lost his mind...

Theseus squints.

“You feel as though a stranger asking me about my level of intimacy with my comrade to be appropriate?” He looks her up and down with disdain, quickly dismissing her as a source of credible answer. “I should not be surprised, you seem the type after all. Very well, you may leave. I must get back to my duties, and surely my fans must be missing me.” He uses a hand and shoos her off. 

[thesiium]

“Good gods! If you’re so worried about looking good, then quit being such a jerk to your fans!... Well, okay. Except the one who called Asterius a beast. Asterius is a sweetie... B-But besides that! Be a little nicer!”

“I needn’t take advice from the likes of you. An invasion of my privacy, sticking a nose in my intimate relationships is not excusable. Fans or not, they must be reminded that they’ve not the right to my personal affairs.”

[thesiium]

Theseus, heroes have become gods before and seeing as you may still have the opportunity, have you ever wanted to?

“Should I become a God, so be it. If not, just as well! I am happy where I am now, and have no desire for an ascension and all that drama. Besides, I wouldn’t want to anger the other Gods by stealing their devout followers away with my looks and benevolence!” Theseus releases a hearty laugh, hand on his chest.

[thesiium]

what do you see in Asterius? He's a beast

“Asterius, much like the rest of us, did not get to choose what he was to be. Do not accuse him of being a beast when you know nothing of him.” Perhaps it was a great irony, to hear such a thing from the man that took this ‘Beast’s life. But this was a wholehearted truth that he felt deep in his heart of hearts. Asterius did not deserve this hatred.

At one time, perhaps, Theseus had seen The Minotaur, and thought he monstrous; believed the tales he was told of a beast that knew no mercy and no feeling for another. Yet now, he holds the other close, a comrade to him. A friend. Brows furrow, and he looks upon this stranger with a mixture of anger and disappointment. 

“I’m certain in your life, had you one at all, you were judged just as severely as my dear friend. I’m just as certain it hurt you. So keep your words to yourself, and away from me and my friend. I won’t have you spit your venom at him any longer.”

[thesiium]

He appreciates that the heartless grey ones are now accosting that heathen instead.