Chronicals of the Single Struggle

So we finally just got sick of it. We got tired of being ghosted, tired of text messages that were 18-hours late, tired of waiting a week to hear back from a guy, tired of bitter men and especially tired of the crazies. Don’t worry, we have no plans on exposing the names and faces behind the jerks but instead we want to create a forum to let men and women, alike, know that they are not alone. Sometimes, it’s really not your fault. We feel you and we’re going through it too.

[thesinglestruggle-blog]

Silverware Sucks

I met a girl at the club. We vibed and eventually she suggested I take her on a date. I agreed.

We exchanged a few texts back and forth and I patiently waited for the big night.

Finally, Saturday night arrived and I met my special lady at the Cheesecake Factory (her idea, not mine).  

We sat down, exchanged pleasantries and began building conversation. She told me about her ex-boyfriend who is currently serving time in maximum security for “getting money”. I told her about my unjailed ex-girlfriend and my new puppy.

In the middle of our folly, she frantically began summoning the waitress.

I said, “Sweetie, what's wrong? What do you need?”

“A plastic fork, I don’t like silverware in my mouth” She replied

“ok, got it”

We continued to talk about some of her other escapades, her love of Newport cigarettes (which stained her lips) and a few more of her incarcerated ex-lovers.

Every so often, a piece of food would come flying out of her mouth or drop off the plastic fork right before the entrance to her mouth.  

Needless to say, that was our first and last date.

I’ve just never looked at the Cheesecake Factory the same since then.

[thesinglestruggle-blog]

Ghosted

I thought I met my dream guy. He was great, we were totally connected- 100% on the same page. We’d talk for hours and hours and hours and then one day he vanished. Gone. Poof. Ghost.

Finally, I’m like fuck it, let me text him one last time. After a few hours he replies with a short sentence ending with “God Bless, take care” which translates to, “fuck you, bye.”

So, I curse him out for a few days, make a voodoo doll in his honor and move onto the next asshole until, one day two months later he texts me to tell me he’s going to Bogota, Columbia and wants to know if I’ve ever been there before and if I have any travel suggestions for him

Really Bitch? Really?

[thesinglestruggle-blog]

The Belly Rub

So I met this guy at the club and he seemed decent enough. We talked for a bit and eventually agreed to exchange numbers and go on a date. After a few weeks of texting back and forth we agreed to meet for coffee.

We sit down, begin talking and somehow the conversation steers to marriage and children. He asks me, if I have kids:

“No” I respond

“Why not, you should have children by now”

“I would like to be married first” I respond

Then, he looks up, stares me in the eyes, puts his hand on my stomach and begins rubbing my belly and with a straight face he says, “Don’t you want to have my children. You should marry me so you can have my children” all the while, continuing to rub my stomach.